Pizza Delivery Jokes
81 pizza delivery jokes and hilarious pizza delivery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pizza delivery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pizza Delivery Short Jokes
Short pizza delivery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pizza delivery humour may include short delivery pizza jokes also.
- What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common? They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.
- What's the difference between police officers and pizza delivery drivers? Pizza delivery drivers actually face consequences when their jobs aren't done right.
- I vandalized an art major's car today. Removing pizza delivery signs is surprisingly easy.
- The best pizza joke ever Actually never mind it's too cheesy... That's the biggest problem with pizza jokes, it's all about the delivery…
- Did you hear about the pizza boy who wanted to become a comedian? His material is terrible, but his delivery is amazing!
- After working long and hard for my PhD people finally recognize me.. As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now.
- A pizza delivery guy walks into a bar What? Did you think he was there to deliver pizza? Can't he want a drink once in a while?
- TIL: if you push one pizza delivery man over, all the pizza delivery men fall over. It's known as the domino's effect.
- I asked the bank for a loan to open a "pizza delivery by drone" business. They refused. Said my business case was just pie in the sky.
- If OP was a Pizza Delivery Driver, how much would he make? Nothing because OP never delivers.
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Pizza Delivery One Liners
Which pizza delivery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pizza delivery? I can suggest the ones about pizza slice and pizza oven.
- How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic? You take the pizza delivery sign off
- An ambulance is like a Pizza delivery If they're late the delivery ends up cold.
- What makes a good pizza joke? It's all in the delivery
- Have you heard the one about the late pizza guy? Just gotta work on the delivery.
- Why did Hannibal Lecter try DiGiorno's Pizza? He heard it had de*liver*y flavor.
- Stop dreaming about pizza delivery by drone. It's a pie-in-the-sky idea.
- what did the domino's pizza delivery guy say to Satan? The power of crust compels you.
- What's the most important part of telling a pizza joke? It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno
- About to start a new job as a pizza delivery driver, any tips?
- Schrodinger's Pizza You don't know until you get it whether its delivery, or Digiorno's
- A blonde in labor walked into a pizza shop because the the delivery was free.
- I started working at a pizza place Because I have to work on my delivery
- My dog just attacked the pizza delivery man. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?
- What do plumbers, Pizza Delivery guys and teachers all have in common? Ron Jeremy
- Q: How do you get a UNC fan to leave your house? A: Pay the pizza delivery driver.
Playful Pizza Delivery Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about pizza delivery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pizza dough jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pizza delivery pranks.
Two old friends crossed paths after not seeing one another for almost a decade.
Utkarsh: "What are you doing these days?"
Sparsh: "PHD."
Utkarsh: "Wow! You're a doctor!"
Sparsh: "No, Pizza Home Delivery."
Two old friends crossed paths after not seeing one another for almost a decade.
Utkarsh: "What are you doing these days?"
Sparsh: "PHD."
Utkarsh: "Wow! You're a doctor!"
Sparsh: "No, Pizza Home Delivery."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke that is better with delivery in person.
A woman orders a pizza, strips n**..., and waits by the door.
A robot brings the pizza and asks the woman for money. He idles while she goes to get her wallet and pay it. The robot leaves.
Why would President Obama be a bad pizza delivery man?
Because he would never bring change! :P
Being Fired
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will enjoy this.
A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy,
"How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said,
"I make $400 a week. Why?"
The CEO said,
"Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked,
"Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said,
"Sure - he was the Pizza delivery guy from Domino's and was just waiting to collect the money!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The new CEO
On a tour of the facilities, the new CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, 'How much money money do you make a week?'
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, 'I make $400 a week. Why?'
The CEO said, 'Wait right here.' He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, 'Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back.'
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, 'Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?'
From across the room a voice said, 'That was the pizza delivery guy.'
Slackers
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
The tough CEO
A company, feeling it was time for a shake up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!
The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
Hear about the malaysia airlines pizza delivery order?
Two large planes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Topical Jokes for 10/9
(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the pizza was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of w**... in it.
To thwart corruption, traffic police in Thailand will now receive a bonus if they refuse bribes. The plan affects all levels of Thailand police, from the street-level Bribe Solicitor, to Director of Bribes, all the way up to Bribe King.
…the anti-corruption program will be funded by confiscated bribes.
Lawmakers have approved $700 million dollars to help fight Ebola. The lawmakers announced the news from inside their $700 million dollar Ebola-proof bunker.
In North Korea, Kim Jong-Un has not made a public appearance for several weeks. Kim's unexplained absence has sparked rumors in the state-run media that everything is totally fine.
The new CEO
A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business!
The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
Why did Opey get fired from his job as a pizza delivery boy?
Because Opey never delivered.
Pizza delivery guys
Pizza delivery guys be like: Hey girl give me some tip
Pizza delivery guy showed up. Gave me 3 pizzas, and had me sign the credit card receipt. I gave him a $500 tip.
I didn't order any pizza.
A new manager was hired....
The new manager walked all around the factory, inspecting his workers, when he came to a room where he saw someone slacking off, leaning against the wall. The manager hid behind a few pipes and watched the employee for 5 minutes.
The person didn't move a muscle, so the manager aproached him and ordered him to get into the manager's office.
"What is your name?" Asked the manager.
"Steven," he replied.
"And how much do you make in a week?"
"I make about 400 dollars."
the manager pulls out 400 and hands it to him.
"Here's this week's pay, now get out of here and never let me see you again!"
Steven then gets up and goes away.
Realizing he needs a replacement, the manager then walks up to a random worker and asks him: "that guy, Steve, who just left, what does he do around here?"
"Oh Steve?" Replied the worker, "that's the pizza delivery man!"
An old woman and pizza delivery are a lot alike...
They both "come" with a crust filled box.
Someone knocked on my door
As I opened, I saw a pizza delivery guy with a large pepperoni pizza in his hand.
"You must be mistaken. I didn't order any pizza!", I said
"Yes, I know", he replied, "Your neighbor forgot his instagram password and wanted to show you what he's having for dinner!"
I don't know why everyone is complaining about gender inequality in the film industry . . .
Just the other day I saw *several* movies starring women in a variety of roles, such as a teacher, a pizza delivery girl, and a naughty horse trainer.
I like my comedic timing like my pizza delivery
With pepperoni.
What does an inexperienced public speaker and a pizza place with high workers have in common?
They both have problems with delivery.
What's the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?
They both work with crust.
The Pizza Delivery Guy
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?"
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.
The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
A pizza man is delivering my pizza
I hear a knock on the door, so I say
"Who is it?"
The pizza guy replies
"The pizza delivery man"
I respond
"The pizza delivery man who?"
The pizza guy responds
"Come on kid! I have your pizza, and it's raining out here. Get the pizza already!"
I reply
"That's the best you got? You really need to work on your delivery"
What do you call a peace activist who is starting a pizza delivery business?
Papa Gandhi
I came home today to find my sister watching an action movie.
She told me she was watching it to learn how to fight. The next day I came home and she was watching a romantic comedy. She told me she was watching it to learn how to love. The day after that I came home and as I arrived there was a pizza delivery guy leaving the house. When I walked inside my sister told me she found a movie under my bed.
A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.
A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.
CEO comes up and asks his salary.
The man replies - $1000
The CEO pulls out his wallet, gives the man $1,000 and says - here's your month salary. I pay people to work here. Get out and never come back !
The man leaves.
The CEO asks workers - who was this guy ?
They reply - a pizza delivery man.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it that when you m**... your first pizza delivery man, it's so easy to kill the next one?
The Domino effekt
My pizza delivery guy asked me for a tip today
So I told him to always wash his hands after using the bathroom.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a pizza shop in the hood?
It's not delivery, it's de-ghetto
*Ba dum tss*
I was fired from a pizza place only 6 hours in.
They said I was a bad delivery driver, but could they know? I hadn't even delivered my first order yet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You m**... one pizza delivery driver, and then you have to m**... another pizza delivery driver.
That's the domino effect
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I murdered the pizza delivery man for messing up my order and had to cover it up.
I ordered another pizza to calm my nerves and the second delivery man noticed the body, so I had to kill him too. Now I feel even more nervous so I ordered yet another pizza. I think it's starting to become a domino effect.
What do childbirth, comedy, and ordering pizza online have in common?
It's all about the delivery
What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.
Lol, sorry if it's corny. Pizza hut guy came and my delivery request was to tell a joke. Shout out to delivery dude!
A pizza delivery boy is late on his delivery.
The woman at the door tells him he's 5 minutes late and that she gets the pizza free. The pizza delivery boy asks her if there is any other way since the pizza will be taken out of his pay! She asks if he knows any jokes. He says he knows one about Sherlock homes. She asks him if he could tell it and maybe she'll not repost the pizza being late. He dives into the joke and at the end asks what she thinks. The woman says: It was a good joke, but you need to work on your delivery.
My girlfriend told me she would love me to be a pizza delivery guy
I asked her why and she said she wants a guy that comes in 30 minutes instead of 5.
No Contact?
Places seems to be advertising No contact delivery , and No contact click n collect a lot these days. Was there ever a contact option?..
Thanks for the pizza, ready for the cuddle? .
Maternity Ward
So I was at a matetinity ward with my friend. His wife & him just had their first baby, and he told me to go buy a pizza to celebrate. I brought back a frozen Digiorno brand pizza. My friend got mad mad like what the heck this is frozen? I responded, Well your wife had a C-section so I got this because it's not delivery.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm saving a bunch of money on pizza delivery.
When the doorbell rings I answer it completely n**.... So far, nobody's stayed long enough to take my tip.
I saw a line of delivery scooters parked out the front of a pizza place.
Someone bumped into one of them and it topples over, and knocks down the next one, which knocks down the next one, and the next one.
It was the Domino's effect.
When I make a pizza for a bar customer I always ask them if I should cut it into six pieces or eight
Because some people aren't hungry enough to eat eight pieces. That joke isn't very funny. I guess pizza jokes are all about the delivery.
