Pitt Jokes
50 pitt jokes and hilarious pitt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pitt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you a fan of the University of Pittsburgh? Looking for some new Pitt jokes to impress your friends? This article has got you covered, as it provides some of the best potentially hilarious jokes about the Pitt Panthers and Pittsburgh that you can find. Read on and get ready to laugh!
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Funniest Pitt Short Jokes
Short pitt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pitt humour may include short potentially jokes also.
- Just an innocent question Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Brad Pitt's is short, Madonna does not have one, and the Pope doesn't use it.
What is it?
>!A last name.!< - A. Schwarzenegger has it long, Brad Pitt short, madonna does not have it and the Pope does not use it. What is it? A surname.
- Kudos to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They really went out of their way to make their adoptive African children feel like a part of an authentic American family by getting a divorce.
- Brad Pitt visits his doctor. "Hey Doc, you ever see me in that movie Seven with Morgurt Freeman?" "Uh do you mean Morgan?"
"Oh yeah, sorry Doc. Morgurt Morgan". - Brangelina is no more. And it's really sad to see that Brad Pitt is now just 'Br' while Angelina Jolie gets her whole forename back.
- So I asked my partially blind friend if he thought my dad looked like Brad Pitt He said, "yeah I can kinda see that..."
- This woman said that I reminded her of Brad Pitt. I was flattered, until she mentioned it was when he played Benjamin Button.
- A woman said to me, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Brad Pitt?" I said, "No, nobody."
She said, "They've clearly never seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." - It's gonna be tough for Brad Pitt to start dating again. Everybody knows Tomb Raider sequels are terrible.
- What did Brad Pitt in Seven and Harvey Weinstein in real life both get? Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
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Pitt One Liners
Which pitt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pitt? I can suggest the ones about pit and sister.
- Why did Angelina tell Brad to do squats? Because she was tired of a bottomless pitt.
- Do you know what my dad and Brad Pitt have in common? Neither came to my birthday party
- What do you call the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? a Brexit
- Kevin Spacey once gave head to Brad Pitt... ... in the last scene of "Seven".
- What is Brad Pitt's cousin called? Of course it is Toast Pitt.
- What do you call a Hollywood actor with bad B.O. Bad Pitt
- What do you call a pregnant Brad Pitt? Bred Pitt.
- What is Brad Pitt's Indian cousin's name? Bradpeet
- Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
- heres a list of all my crushes orange
pinapple
cherry
brad pitt
in that order!! - What do you call collegiate perspiration? Pitt Sweat
- So Angelina wants her marriage to Brad Pitt to be made Null and Voigt.
- Have you seen the trailer for the new Brad Pitt action thriller? Spanks on a Plane
- Angelina Jolie to divorce Brad Pitt Bradxit
- What is 8 Brad Pitts? Brad Byte
Playful Pitt Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about pitt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean elder jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pitt pranks.
4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.
The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.
The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out.
Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy.
"Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack."
When my wife and I got married,
we mutually decided to each select that one person who we'd most like to have s**... with and, if by some miracle, it happened, the other wouldn't get angry. She picked Brad Pitt and I went with Uma Thurman (Uma!!). For our 20th anniversary, I thought it would be fun to change things up and she agreed. So, she picked George Clooney and I chose the next door neighbor.
Matthew McConaughey, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt decide to make a movie together.
Of course, they are going to need roles for each other, but none of them can decide what they want to do. They argue over this for hours, until Leonardo finally decides he wants to direct, since he is the best with cameras. Eventually, Brad Pitt decides he wants to produce, since he's the one with the most money. Now there's only one left; McConaughey. DiCaprio turns to him and says,
Well what does that leave you with?
Matthew thinks about this for a while, until he finally turns to the two of them.
I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.
A husband and wife are talking about their relationship...
and the wife suggests they each pick one person that they can have s**... with without the other getting mad. The husband agrees and lets the wife go first. She thinks about it for a bit and settles on Brad Pitt. The husband nods his head and says "The neighbor."
Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.
He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
A woman rubs a lamp and out pops a genie.
''You're a kind lady, so I'll grant you one wish,'' the genie tells her.''See this cat? I'd rather have a strong, handsome man,'' she says.The genie agrees and – p**...! – the cat turns into a Brad Pitt clone. The woman leaps into his lap.''Do you have anything to say before we make love?'' she asks.''Yes,'' he says. ''I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered last week.''
My wife and I both made a list of five people we could sleep with...
She read hers out: 'One, George Clooney; two, Brad Pitt; three, Justin Timberlake; four, Jake Gyllenhaal; five, Johnny Depp.' I thought, I've got the better deal here: 'One, your sister... That's where our conversation ended..
It's nice to see that celebrities have taken up book writing during the pandemic
One Direction by Kanye West
Guitars by Mel Gibson
Mining by Brad Pitt
Pear Cider by Katy Perry
Ship Building by Tom Cruise
How to Move Things by Jim Carrey
Escape from Prison by Morgan Freeman
American Motors by Harrison Ford
Wild Animals by Will Ferrell
Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.
Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.
"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.
"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.
"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.
What does Pittsburgh have in common with Peter Pan?
The Pirates always lose.
how many Pittsburgh Steelers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just talk about how good the last six were
Pittsburgh
There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburgh.
Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass, well endowed, gorgeous, amazing woman.
The priests were all embarrassed and in new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.
The first priest approached the window. "Young lady," he began, "I would like three pickets to titsburg." Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled.
The second priest approached. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh," he began, "and I would like the change in n**... and dimes." So, of course, he also fled.
Then came the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And
I must say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing like that when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you."
What do you get from crossing Brad Pitt, Vladimir Putin and Adolf h**...?
Women say I'm ugly, but when they see my bank account suddenly they compare me to Brad Pitt.
They all tell me that I'm as attractive as I am rich.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are fighting over the custody of their adopted Ethiopian child.
Although eventually one of them will lose and have to keep her.
What you call Brad Pitt when he's s**...?
A Quarry.
Pittsburgh shooter Robert Bowers was arrested trying to sneak the pistols back into his gun cabinet.
At least he remembered to put the Glocks back.
What's the difference between an actor and useless glue?
One is Brad Pitt
The other is bad Pritt
I saw Brad Pitt on the street then I suddenly became a hot movie actor and he turned into your average Joe.
Because we exchanged "looks".
Bryan Cranston and Brad Pitt are both staring in a new movie about the life of inmates in Guantanamo Bay
Out this summer: "Breaking Brad"
