Pitcher Jokes
60 pitcher jokes and hilarious pitcher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pitcher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a chuckle? Check out this collection of pitcher jokes, featuring jokes about a variety of aspects of pitchers in both baseball and softball, from their bases to their relievers!
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Funniest Pitcher Short Jokes
Short pitcher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pitcher humour may include short hitter jokes also.
- What did the waitress say to the man who wouldn't stop staring at her while she refilled his glass? Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!
- They told me to imagine a guy holding a jug full of water. But I just couldn't pitcher it.
- Jesus requested a pitcher of water so that he might turn it into wine Peter said "Lord, why can't you buy a round like everyone else?"
- I hate having to keep going to the kitchen to fill my glass of water. Take a pitcher it will last longer
- Some people say that baseball is a boring sport, I just tell them that with a good pitcher... Things can get out of hand pretty quickly.
- So a baseball rolls into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says "You must be here for a pitcher!"
[Edit] I'm pretty sure I made this joke up y'all! - A boy was at a lemonade stand. He was deciding between a glass or a full pitcher. He told the seller he was really thirsty, to which they replied, "Take a pitcher, it'll last longer".
- A man walks into a bar, orders a glass of beer, and stares at the bartender for a long time making her uncomfortable. The bartender says, Why don't you take a pitcher? It'll last longer.
- I told my boyfriend that he might not want to go swimming after drinking a pitcher of beer.. ...because he might not swim very well.
His response: "Babe, beer doesn't make you black" - For the first time, an mlb Umpire came out as gay He's not a pitcher or a catcher, he just likes to watch.
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Pitcher One Liners
Which pitcher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pitcher? I can suggest the ones about catcher and baseball pitching.
- Don't stare at a glass of water Take a pitcher it'll last longer
- I just found out the kool-aid man plays on a baseball team. He's the pitcher.
- What do you say if someone won't stop describing a jug? Okay, I get the pitcher
- What sport does the kool-aid man play? Baseball; he's a pitcher.
- Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire? He threw his arm out.
- What do you call a baseball player that holds water? A pitcher.
- Just found out I've been using my Britta pitcher wrong for the last 2 months #nofilter
- What position does Kool-aid Man play in baseball? Relief Pitcher :^)
- Know how to get a lot of head? Give Michael J. Fox a pitcher of beer
- Why aren't hippies good pitchers? Because they're always high and outside.
- Where did the baseball keep its lemonade? In the pitcher!
- Why does the pitcher always lose at video games? He's always throwing
- The Atlanta quarterback should become a baseball pitcher... He's great at throwing.
- Where does Yankees pitcher Luis Cessa swim? In the Cessa pool.
- Where does a pitcher drink his tea? In his cup.
Pitcher Only Jokes
Here is a list of funny pitcher only jokes and even better pitcher only puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the water thief-turned-photographer? Apparently he was a great pitcher-taker.
(Credit goes to my husband.) - I dropped my phone in a pitcher of beer this weekend... Now it only drunk dials and does last call.
- What do Chinese Dogs and baseball pitchers have in common? Whenever that have a bad day they balk a lot
- The runner on 2nd base politely asked the pitcher if he could just walk over to third. The pitcher balked at the idea.
- Why is it good news that Aroldis Chapman moved to the Yankees? Because pitchers don't hit in the American League!
- Why did the man get a bruised face while attempting to grab the pitcher in the kitchen? It threw a 105mph fastball.
- What do baseball pitchers and TSA agents have in common? Fireworks go off in the sky if they do their job incorrectly.
- So, a bird flies in front of a pitcher and gets hit by a baseball. What do the umpires rule it? Fowl ball
- Did you hear the Marlins are no longer serving beer at the stadium? They ran out of pitchers.
- I hate pitchers ...They always throw games
Baseball Pitcher Jokes
Here is a list of funny baseball pitcher jokes and even better baseball pitcher puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- what do you call a DJ who's playing baseball a pitcher
- Why are pitchers the funniest people on the baseball team? They always put a spin in things
Howlingly Hilarious Pitcher Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about pitcher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bowler jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pitcher pranks.
I have finally punched my membership card into Dad jokes!
So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?"
My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time.
It took him a couple of seconds to realize and then he gave me that wonderful "Really, Dad?" look. I'm so proud.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit
down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there
s**... back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says,
"How would you boys like a b**...?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him
unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do
that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting
a job!"
A man walks into a bar....
...sits down, orders a beer, and begins to gaze longingly at the barmaid. The barmaid hands him the beer, returns the stare and says...
"Take a pitcher, it'll last longer."
So a kid is standing in the middle of a field with a baseball and a bat...
He tosses the ball up to hit it. He swings, misses, and yells "Strike ONE!"
Tosses it up a second time. Swings. Misses. "Strike TWO!"
On the third time he tosses it up, he swings, and yet again, misses. "Strike THREE!"
"Wow," he said. "I didn't know I was such a good pitcher!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Scotsman at a Yankees game
So a Scotsman goes on vacation to NYC, and decides to take in a Yankees home game, as he didn't understand baseball and wanted to learn more.
So he settles into his seat and the game starts. In the top of the second inning, he sees the pitcher walk the batter.
The Scotsman, not understanding, stands up, shouting "RUN, MAN! RUN!!"
The man sitting in front of him turns around and says, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four b**...."
The Scotsman thinks about this for a moment, and then shouts "WALK WITH PRIDE, MAN! WALK WITH PRIDE!"
Joke from the rabbi of one of the synagogues I went to.
A professional baseball player was very religious. So religious, in fact, that every time he stepped up to the plate he would cross himself.
During a particular game, he was facing a particularly impatient pitcher. The batter stepped out to cross himself, and the pitcher yelled out, "Hey! Why don't you just let God watch the game for once!?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The pitcher who held the record for walking batters had a reputation as a tough guy.
Because it took a lot of b**....
Strike 1 !
People always ask me about my brother who plays in the MLB but they never ask me about two of my other brothers who are both gay . which is sad . They only care about the pitcher but not the catchers.
An Englishman, a Scot and a Welshman walk into a bar.
They order a pint of beer each. As they are served a fly lands in their glass.
The English man pushes the pitcher away in disgust.
The Scot removes the fly with a finger and drinks the beer.
The Welsh guy picks up the fly, holds it above the pitcher and shouts : spit it out.
A baseball pitcher is walking home...
after a long and exhausting game. Suddenly, bright lights appear in the sky directly above him, and a beautiful angel descends from above, wearing an umpire's mask and a catcher's mitt.
The pitcher looks up, gapes and thinks, "Heavens! She's so pretty."
Without skipping a beat, his shoulders slump back, his grin shines out of his mouth, he winks and says, "Hey baby. Wanna play some catch? Looking up at you makes me want to throw up."
