JokoJokes

Pitch Jokes

89 pitch jokes and hilarious pitch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pitch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Learn the art of the perfect pitch by mastering the craft of the joke! With tips on how to set up the perfect elevator, sales, football, and pitch and putt jokes, this article offers something for everyone. Get insight into references, Neymar, and batter jokes, plus discover the perfect acapella and pitch black references.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Pitch Short Jokes

Short pitch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pitch humour may include short pong jokes also.

  1. I'm making a fortune promoting home security systems The pitch is easy. All I do is say "Good morning". At 3am whilst sitting on the end of their bed.
  2. What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill? One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.
  3. Today I pitched a new web software to Apple to replace safari... it raised a few iBrowse :(
  4. What’s the definition of perfect pitch? When you toss an accordion into a dumpster and it lands on a bagpipe.
  5. What’s the definition of perfect pitch for an accordion? When you can toss it in the dumpster without hitting the sides.
  6. What’s the definition of perfect pitch? When you can throw an accordion into a dumpster without touching the sides.
  7. Best math teacher ever! Mr. Johnson never makes us do any work, so all 25 of us are pitching in $6.17 to get him that cool new $50,000 corvette he wants. Thanks Mr. Johnson!
  8. Three golf clubs walk into a bar. The putter ordered a beer, the pitching wedge ordered a gin & tonic.
    The barman asked the third one if he wanted anything,
    He replied No thanks, I'm the driver .
  9. "The Best Way To Stop A Bad Guy With A Gun Is With A Good Guy With A Gun" Is an excellent sales pitch for doubling your sales.
  10. I went to Nintendo to pitch them my idea for a new Zelda game where Link is an herb trader… They told me it was Hylian likely that they would make the Hero of Thyme.

Share These Pitch Jokes With Friends




Pitch One Liners

Which pitch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pitch? I can suggest the ones about pile and ping.

  1. Why did the dog become an accordion player? Because it had perfect pitch.
  2. My music teacher told me to stay on key I said "pitch please"
  3. Why can't our ears hear very high pitched sounds? Because it hertz.
  4. I'm pitching a show about magical arts in the legal system Subpoena the Teenage Witch
  5. What pitch is your tinnitus? Mine is an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE sharp.
  6. What lights up a football pitch at night? A football match.......
  7. France should be disqualified! They have one Tchouaméni on the pitch.
  8. What do you call a Greek philosopher who's skilled on the pitch? Soccerates.
  9. Have you ever dated someone with a high-pitched voice? They're nothing but treble.
  10. Y'know man... In choir class, We always get the pitches.
  11. Did you hear about the pine trees that fought in the forest? It was a pitched battle.
  12. What is CC Sabathia's favorite inning to pitch in baseball? The bottom of the fifth
  13. Gave a sales pitch at a petting zoo today They were eating out the palm of my hand
  14. Why did the tent company get no investors? It was tough to pitch.
  15. Ever hear about the Baseball Park inside a Skyscrapper? It was quite the elevator pitch

First Pitch Jokes

Here is a list of funny first pitch jokes and even better first pitch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife had to cook to the first time the other day. The food smells so bad, that all the flies in the neighborhood pitched in and bought us a screen door so they couldn't get back in.
  • Why did the first batch of Tickle Me Elmos have a high pitched laugh? The designers forgot to include two testtickles
  • Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.

Pitch Black Jokes

Here is a list of funny pitch black jokes and even better pitch black puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got called racist for saying 'pitch black' The umpire disqualified me and told me I struck out and that the better thing to say would be 'Jamal, I'm ready for your fastball'.
  • I remember how my uncle died.. Driving an 18 wheeler rig down a long, icy road in the pitch black with no working headlights. He swerved and suddenly BAM!
    Cancer.
  • I just saw the movie Pitch Black. What a dark movie.
  • My worst nightmare was when I was trapped in a pitch-black room with Iron Man. It would've been fine, but I'm afraid of the Stark...
  • What is Vin Diesel's l**... style? Pitch Black, Multi-f**..., x**... and Fast and Furious.
  • How many dead h**... does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently, more than five because my basement is still pitch black.
  • How many dead h**... are needed to change a light bulb? I don't know but for sure more than 10, as my basement is still pitch black.
  • The EU referendum I liken the EU referendum to being in a pitch black room with two men in a mandatory r**... scenario with both of them telling you theirs is the smallest.
Pitch joke, The EU referendum

Sales Pitch Jokes

Here is a list of funny sales pitch jokes and even better sales pitch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • They didn't take too well to my latest AR videogame sales pitch... Frogger Live, Ultimate Edition
  • If you havin' sales problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a pitch ain't one.
  • What is a Mexicans closing sales pitch? Kay-so-deal-a?

Perfect Pitch Jokes

Here is a list of funny perfect pitch jokes and even better perfect pitch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Do you know the definition of"perfect pitch?" When you toss a banjo into a dumpster & it hits an accordion!
  • Did you hear about the mechanic who had perfect pitch? He could always tell when a-flat rolled into the shop.
  • king kong would have done better at work if he perfected his elevator pitch. yea, that one's a zero.
  • What's the definition of perfect pitch? Throwing a banjo into a dumpster and hitting an accordion with it.
  • eJUkulasi-]~Watch.. Pitch Perfect 2..Free HD eJUkulasi-TV]~Watch.. Pitch Perfect 2..Free HD
  • =|GREAT_MOVIE!!! Pitch Perfect 2" Free Stream [Full]-[Movie]..HD..720P..
  • Best headline I have ever read "Tball stand pitches perfect game at special olympics"
Pitch joke, Best headline I have ever read

Gather Around for Fun Pitch Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about pitch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pond jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pitch pranks.

During the USA - Belgium game, a couple of dudes ran onto the field.

I imagined the English commentator would have said this:
"It appears a wit has run onto the pitch."
"A wit, sir?"
"Yes. Two half-wits."

Every summer I go to Grammar Camp

we discuss creative ideas and pitch our new tense.

What did the umpire say when r**... Johnson hit a bird with his pitch?

Fowl ball.

Sherlock and Watson go camping

Sherlock and Dr. Watson go camping. They pitch their tent and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson and says: "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes asks, "And what do you deduce from that?" "Well, if there are millions of stars," Watson says, "there must be some with planets, and some of those planets must be like Earth. And if there are planets like Earth, there might be planets with life." And Holmes says, "Watson, you idiot, it means someone stole our tent."

Bob and Jim are on the 18th hole...

And as Bob is about to pitch for the green they notice a f**... procession heading down the road adjacent to the course. Bob stops mid swing, drops his club, removes his hat, bows his head and stands for a moment of silence. "That's very respectful of you, Bob." says Jim. Bob puts his hat back on, picks up his club and says "Well, we were married for 35 years."

I knew my camping holiday was doomed when I saw the people at the next pitch struggling with a torn ground sheet and bent pegs.

It was a portent.

At a choral concert...

...you may see a choir director with a pitch pipe or a tuning fork, but you'll rarely see one with a pitch fork.

First Pitch or ...

One sunny afternoon in 1999, Bill and Hillary Clinton were at a baseball game. Right as the game was getting ready to start, Bill stood up, picked up Hillary, and threw her out onto the baseball diamond. When Bill Clinton sat down, his chief advisor leaned over to him and said, "You know, Bill, you may have misunderstood me. I said you that you get to throw out the first pitch."

I'm gonna pitch a show to Netflix, called"Speak No Evil"

Its about mimes that commit m**...

I've been pitching my idea for a calculus-based movie...

But everyone tells me it's too derivative

The CEO of a big company got abducted...

The abductors released a message through the PA system:
"Prepare ten million by noon or we burn him alive!"
The employees frantically decided to gather, and one proposed to pitch in together in order to help out.
Some pitched in five litres, some pitched in ten.

I heard they're letting girls join the boy scouts now.

They're going to help the boys pitch a tent.

The president of the Greek football club PAOK invaded the pitch with a gun yesterday, what a fool..

Only the goalkeeper is allowed to use his arms..

If a man convinces a woman to have a child with him and it turns out male...

Is the child considered a son of a pitch?

This guy tried to sell me his idea of a cricket field lit by LED lights.

It was an interesting pitch.

ronaldo was so gracious to help Cavani off the pitch

So Cavani kindly returned the favour.

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship.

He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."
The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west."
Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a s**..., second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir."
Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

Do you remember that group of whales that had a distinct higher pitch to their songs?

I believe they were Orcastrato

If only whitney houston could hit a baseball pitch as well as she could hit notes and pitch her voice.

She would have had the world's best hAND EYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIEEEEEIIIIIIIIIII coordination.

The Grecian Gods vs the Greeks

Zeus and his human friend Spiro were watching a game of football, the gods versus the humans. Spiro looked around the pitch at all the players and then saw an absolute unit of a player, a half horse, half human professional. Spiro asked Zeus, Hey, who's that player over there? Zeus responded, That's our teams centaur-forward .

Why does the pitcher always lose at video games?

He's always throwing

A coin was thrown on the pitch at Ibrox...

Police are still investigating if it was used as a missile or a takeover bid.

Two inmates languish in a pitch dark prison cell. Ben shines a torch to a tiny window 15 feet from the floor and said: "Joe, you climb up by grasping this beam of light until you reach the window. Freedom awaits!" Joe shakes his head. Ben: "Why not?"

"When I'm halfway up, you might turn off the torch..."

What do you do with an Elephant that has three b**...?

You walk him and pitch to the Kangaroo

Fatherly advice

When I was a little boy I fell off my bike and scraped my knee. My dad ran to me picked me up and told me to "shake it off."
Years later while playing baseball I was hit with a wild pitch, my dad called out from the stands "Shake it off son."
Before going off to college my long time girlfriend dumped me. Of course just like everything else in life when I was hurt my dad with his infinite wisdom once again told me to "shake it off."
Due to all the years of his great fatherly advice I knew exactly what to say when he was diagnosed with parkinson's disease.

Two blondes are walking in forest searching for a Christmas tree

They both walk a long time but couldn't find a good one. Hour by hour passes but still none of them are good enough. It's already getting pitch dark. It's already midnight and finally one of them suddenly says "ugh, let's just pick one without decorations"

My neighbor asked if I could pitch in money to help him buy the world's largest piece of sports equipment, and then get 5 friends to also.

I refused. I know it's just a big racket.

Q: What do you do with an elephant with three b**...?

A: You walk him and pitch to the rhino.

The pitcher who held the record for walking batters had a reputation as a tough guy.

Because it took a lot of b**....

I just lost a lot of money to a con-artist

He had this great pitch about investing in an innovative company that could identify male sheep by their u**.... Turns out it was a pee-ram-id scheme.

A r**... woman goes into a store to get a new washing machine

The salesman, eager to score some commission, snaps into his pitch with a broad smile; "We can load it up and send it over to your house today, and you won't pay anything for six months!"
The woman suddenly gets angry and says, "Who the h**... told you about me?!"

My team had to play a football game on a pitch that was littered with loads of stones and gravel.

Luckily we still won on aggregate.

There was once an Austrian physicist who discovered that the sound of an object changes pitch as it passes by an observer...

...But before he could publish his findings someone stole his work and took all the credit for it.
Turns out the physicist had a Dopplerganger.

A man in the Canadian North tried to pitch me a pyramid scheme…

I said I don't believe nunavut yukon!

Pitch joke, I'm pitching a show about magical arts in the legal system

jokes about pitch