Pit Jokes

109 pit jokes and hilarious pit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article covers the many ways to use humor to make light of the word "pit." From ball pit jokes to fire pit puns, to mosh pit one-liners and damp tar pit tales, the article takes a hilarious look at the phrase "pit." Discover jokes related to cherry pits, pit vipers, and even sailing overboard with pit jokes. Grab a chuckle and laugh your way through the article today!

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Short Pit Jokes
Pit One Liners
Pit Bull Jokes
Pit Bulls Jokes
Fire Pit Jokes
Ball Pit Jokes
Mosh Pit Jokes
More Pit Jokes

Funniest Pit Short Jokes

Short pit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pit humour may include short overboard jokes also.

I love how Pit Bull announces himself at the beginning of every song giving us time to change the song.
I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped. He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.
did you hear about the Ethiopian who fell into the crocodile pit? he ate 6 crocs before they could pull him out.
What's the difference between a gorrila pit and Mordor? One does not simply walk into Mordor
While playing blackjack at my local casino, the pit boss came up to me and asked what the count was. I replied "he's a purple Muppet with pointy teeth, but that's not important right now."
Did you hear about the Ethiopian man that fell into an alligator pit? They say he ate 7 alligators before they could drag him out of there.
What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull? A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies.
Two drums and a cymbal fall into a bottomless pit. Wait for it..

.. wait for it..
I nearly fell into a really deep pit. I informed the police about it. They said they would look into it.
If I ever become a serial killer I am going to dispose of my victim's bodies by throwing them into a bottomless pit It's a floorless plan.

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Pit One Liners

Which pit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pit? I can suggest the ones about enclosure and ash.

Have you heard the one about the untouched coal pit? Never mined.
What animal has four legs and one arm? A pit bull on a playground.
Why were the two olives fighting? They were pitted against each other.
What do you get if you throw a piano down a coal pit? A flat miner
Becoming a digger was a big mistake My job is the pits
Why doesn't Angelina Jolie like peaches? Because of the "Pit"
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS? The guy that gave it to him.
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull and a computer? A lot of bytes.
What do you call a bunch of Jews in a concert? A Moshe Pit
What do you call a mean person who fell in a pit created by a volcano? Ashhole.
What do a stuffed olive and Angelina Jolie have in common? they've both had a pit in them
What's a BBQ pit master's least favorite massage? A dry rub.
Pit. Not funny, I know, but it's deep.
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
Someone tried to sue me over my bottomless pit But there weren't any grounds

Pit Bull Jokes

Here is a list of funny pit bull jokes and even better pit bull puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Everyone thinks lawyers are a bunch of sharks, rats and pit-bulls! But really, they're all liti-gators
What is the difference between a hockey mom & a pit bull? Pit bulls are intelligent and loving.
What do you get when you cross a dachshund with a Pit Bull? A Wiener-Pit, just like your mom.
what do you get if you cross a poodle with a pit bull? not much of a watchdog, but it's a vicious gossip.
What's the difference between a social worker and a pit bull? At least you can get some of your baby back from a pit bull.
An appeals court has upheld a ban on pit bulls Another victory in the war on terrier
What has 4 legs, 5 arms, and is wiggling its tail? A very happy pit bull.
What do you call a pit bull with no eyes? Lucky
What's more dangerous than a pit bull with AIDS? The guy who gave his AIDS.
What animal has 5 legs? A pit bull coming back from the playground.

Pit Bulls Jokes

Here is a list of funny pit bulls jokes and even better pit bulls puns that will make you laugh with friends.

When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
What has 5 legs and a big grin? Pit-bull in kids sandpit
If you love something let it go, if it comes back with a toddlers arm, it was probably a Pit Bull.
What animal runs around happily with 5 legs? A pit bull in a kindergarten
Dogs are the best. I have a lab. It's a m**... lab. But I guard it with pit bulls.
What's the difference between a poodle h**... your leg and a pit bull h**... your leg? You let the pit bull finish.
What is the difference between a chihuahua h**... your leg and a pit bull h**... your leg? The pit bull gets to finish.
Yo' Mama is so s**..., she voted for a pit bull wearing lipstick.

Fire Pit Jokes

Here is a list of funny fire pit jokes and even better fire pit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What do you call a burnt out fire pit in a commercial? Ash seen on TV.
(Sorry)
High with my boyfriend and thought of this gem.

Ball Pit Jokes

Here is a list of funny ball pit jokes and even better ball pit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

I told the cashier at McDonald's that there's some cute girls here. I asked her if she could get them out of the ball pit for me.
---------------------------------------------------
New York drivers are the worst! I keep hitting the ball into sand pits.
All the adults judged me because I jumped into the ball pit at the children's activity centre... It's like they'd never seen a n**... man before

Mosh Pit Jokes

Here is a list of funny mosh pit jokes and even better mosh pit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Ever been to a Canadian mosh pit? "Oh sorry eh! Oh! Sorry! Sorry, eh? Sorry? So sorry! Oh! Oh no.... Sorry, eh?"
What do you bury a Jewish metalhead in? A Moshe pit!
What do you call a bunch of r**... in a circle pit? Mosh potatoes.

Laughable Pit Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about pit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hole jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pit pranks.

An Scotsman accidentally dropped a penny into an open sewage pit

The pit was full of e**..., and after a few moments of thinking the Scotsman concluded:
"It's not worth it. I will never dive in for a penny!"
Then he checked his pockets for some change, picked two pounds and throw it to the pit:
"Now it's better" he said and jumped into the sewage.

a joke translated from turkish

Once upon a time there was a pit in a village, people used to wound themselves from falling into the pit. 3 elders of the village unite to a find a solution to this pit.
First one says that we should place an ambulance next to the pit, that way people will get to the hospital faster
Second one says that we should build a hospital next to the pit that way it will be even faster
Before the third one could talk Chad jumps in and says "y'all are idiots why don't we fill this pit up and dig one up next to the hospital.

Poor Ajmal.

After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".

A man was walking in Central Park in NYC...

Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says, "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says, "But I am not a New Yorker!"
"Oh ,then it will say in newspapers tomorrow morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" the policeman replied.
"But I am not even an American!" Says the man.
"Oh, what are you then?" The policeman asks.
The man replies, "I am a Saudi!"
The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog."

A Monkey passes away at a zoo, and they have no other Monkey's in the zoo

A desperate man is hired to dress in a Monkey Suit, after a few days he somehow falls into the lion pit. Suddenly he is yelling for help, the Lion approaches him and says, "Shut up or you're gonna get us both fired!"

A snail decides he wants to be a racer...

So he employs a pit crew, a coach, and a designer. The designer paints a big 'S' on the side of his vehicle which the snail highly approves of.
He tries out at a local track, and starts overtaking all the other amateurs much faster than anyone else.
The coach stares and says 'Look at that S-Car-Go!"

After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to use the rest room.

Since he didn't want anyone to take his shake, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, "The world's strongest weight lifter," and left it under his glass.
When he returned from making his pit stop, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with a note that said
"Thanks for the treat!" It was signed, "The world's fastest runner."

Trump, Putin, and Kim Jong Un are walking through the jungle

They all trip and fall into a pit of quicksand. A sign next to the pit reads, "the more you lie, the faster you sink." Kim Jong Un is up to his neck, and Putin is at his waist. Trump appears to be perfectly calm and not sinking at all. Putin asks how this is possible. Trump replies, "I'll be alright. I'm standing on Sean Spicer."

A police officer was answering questions of a reporter at an accident site.

Officer: "I want your news report to mention that how useful a helmet can be. This person fell in a 30ft pit while riding a bike at 100mph, still there not a single scratch on his face because he was wearing a helmet."
Report: "Wow! That's just miraculous. Can we get an interview with that person?"
Officer: "Well, I'm afraid, not. We haven't found the rest of the body yet."

I've never actually seen two women s**...

But I bet you it sounds like an arm pit f**... contest

Did you hear about the sumo match happening at the prison tomorrow?

They're going to bring in professional sumo wrestlers and pit them against the fattest inmates but honestly I don't even know if the pros outweigh the cons.

What dog breed is the funniest?

Pit bulls, they leave everyone in stitches.
Disclaimer: I am a pit owner, and I still found this funny. Please don't inundate me with pro-pitty rebuttals, I already know.

A monkey at a zoo passes away, and no monkeys are left to replace it

A desperate man is hired to dress in a Monkey Suit, he is pretending to be a monkey, and after a few days he somehow falls into the lion pit. Suddenly he is yelling and screaming for help, the Lion approaches him and the man prepares for the end. The lion opens its mouth and says, "Shut up or you're gonna get us both fired!"

What do you call Raggedy Ann lying face down in a gravel pit?

A dirty cotton rock s**....

How do you catch an elephant?

You dig a pit, fill it with ash, and surround it with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, you sneak up behind him and kick him in the ash hole.

3 men went to a theme park

and walked up to a ride that said "magic slide". The 1st man read the sign and went down the slide yelling "gold!" Landed in a pit of gold. 2nd man read the sign, went down the slide yelling "silver!" Landed in a p**... of silver. The 3rd man didn't bother reading the sign and just went down the slide yelling "wee!" Landed in a p**... of wee.

My 9 year old nephew told me he wished he could be like Batman.

So I killed my brother & his wife & tossed my my nephew into a pit filled with bats.

Little Minnie was digging a pit in her house's backward ...

... Curious, her neighboring lady asked her what she was doing.
"My parrot died yesterday. I'm preparing to bury him."
"Ohhh, that's so sad. But why such a big grave for a little parrot?"
"Coz he's in your cat's stomach."

A cowboy peers down the pit of an outhouse...

He sees an Indian standing at the bottom.
He asks, "How long have you been down there?"
The Indian replies: "Many moons."

Two men are in the woods hunting

one falls into a pit. His friend calls 911 on his cell phone. He tells the operator, "My friend fell into a pit. I think he might be dead!" The operator tells him, "Ok sir. Please remain calm. First, make sure he's dead." There's a pause, followed by a gun shot. Then the man comes back on the line and says, "Okay. Now what?"

Haydn and Mozart killed a guy.

Haydn is dragging the body while Mozart is looking for a hiding spot.He found an old pit to put the body and scream "Hey Haydn here!"

What do thrifty Illuminati members like to put their pickled vegetables in?

Free Mason jars. :D

\[\[ Stupidest joke I ever came up with, today at work in the Dish Pit. \]\]

I tried to build a bottomless pit,

But there was a floor in my plan.

Why was the peach late to work?

He had to make a pit stop on the way there.

What do you call a small nail hole?

A Brad Pit.

A dad joke

What do you call the pit that a pirate buries his treasure in?
A b**... hole

What is the pit in Mortal Kombat 2 made out of?

Kahn-crete.

Helen Keller fell into a pit...

She screamed and screamed until her hands bled.

I'm opening a bakery

I'll call it The Bread Pit

What do you call a snake pit in an Egyptian barber shop?

A hairy asp hole.

A race car driver ran into a post when getting out of the pit.

He ended up in pole position.

Fruity Traffic

What did the berry say to the slow driving pit fruit?
Come on man-go

Are you a gorilla pit?

Cause I want to drop my kids in you.

TIL that a recently discovered diamond pit in Argentina is so large, that the value of diamonds is expected to drop tenfold in the next four years

April Fools

I fell asleep at the Cincinnati zoo and fell into the Gorilla pit...

Harambe caught me slippin'

You are so hairy...

That If I threw you in a Gorilla pit, the zookeepers wouldn't know which one to shoot.