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Pit Bulls Jokes

47 pit bulls jokes and hilarious pit bulls puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pit bulls that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Pit Bulls Short Jokes

Short pit bulls jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pit bulls humour may include short pit bull jokes also.

  1. I love how Pit Bull announces himself at the beginning of every song giving us time to change the song.
  2. What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull? A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies.
  3. Everyone thinks lawyers are a bunch of sharks, rats and pit-bulls! But really, they're all liti-gators
  4. What is the difference between a hockey mom & a pit bull? Pit bulls are intelligent and loving.
  5. What do you get when you cross a dachshund with a Pit Bull? A Wiener-Pit, just like your mom.
  6. what do you get if you cross a poodle with a pit bull? not much of a watchdog, but it's a vicious gossip.
  7. What's the difference between a social worker and a pit bull? At least you can get some of your baby back from a pit bull.
  8. If you love something let it go, if it comes back with a toddlers arm, it was probably a Pit Bull.
  9. What's the difference between a poodle h**... your leg and a pit bull h**... your leg? You let the pit bull finish.
  10. What is the difference between a chihuahua h**... your leg and a pit bull h**... your leg? The pit bull gets to finish.

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Pit Bulls One Liners

Which pit bulls one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pit bulls? I can suggest the ones about bulldog and hound dog.

  1. What animal has four legs and one arm? A pit bull on a playground.
  2. What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS? The guy that gave it to him.
  3. What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull and a computer? A lot of bytes.
  4. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
  5. An appeals court has upheld a ban on pit bulls Another victory in the war on terrier
  6. What has 4 legs, 5 arms, and is wiggling its tail? A very happy pit bull.
  7. What do you call a pit bull with no eyes? Lucky
  8. What's more dangerous than a pit bull with AIDS? The guy who gave his AIDS.
  9. What animal has 5 legs? A pit bull coming back from the playground.
  10. When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
  11. What has 5 legs and a big grin? Pit-bull in kids sandpit
  12. What animal runs around happily with 5 legs? A pit bull in a kindergarten
  13. Dogs are the best. I have a lab. It's a m**... lab. But I guard it with pit bulls.
  14. Yo' Mama is so s**..., she voted for a pit bull wearing lipstick.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about pit bulls can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of pit bulls puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Pit Bulls Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about pit bulls you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean dog bite jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make pit bulls prank.

A man was walking in Central Park in NYC...

Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says, "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says, "But I am not a New Yorker!"
"Oh ,then it will say in newspapers tomorrow morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" the policeman replied.
"But I am not even an American!" Says the man.
"Oh, what are you then?" The policeman asks.
The man replies, "I am a Saudi!"
The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog."

What dog breed is the funniest?

Pit bulls, they leave everyone in stitches.
Disclaimer: I am a pit owner, and I still found this funny. Please don't inundate me with pro-pitty rebuttals, I already know.

A burglar breaks in a house

As he is looking around he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you!" Panicked he looks around but sees nothing and nobody. He keeps searching for loot when again "Jesus is watching you!" This time he does a better search and finally sees a parrot in a cage. "Did you say that?" he asks "Yes, it was me." confirms the parrot. "What's your name?" we inquires. "Moses" answers the parrot. Burglar can't help but to laugh. "What kind of people name their parrot Moses?" "Same type of people that name their guard pit bull Jesus."

The Dog Pound

Three dogs were in a cage at the city pound: A Pit Bull, a German Shepherd and a Great Dane. The Pit Bull told the others "I was eating my dinner and my owner's two year old niece tried to grab my food, so I ripped out her t**.... Now they are going to put me to sleep."

The German Shepherd said "I chewed up my master' shoes yesterday and now they are going to put me to sleep."
The Great Dane said "My master is a beautiful twenty two year old woman. The other day she came out of the shower and bent over in front of me, so I mounted her and did my thing."
"So are you in here to be put to sleep too?" asked the others.
"No, I'm here to have my nails clipped!"

Jesus is watching you.

A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."
He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"
The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".

Bear Remover

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his t**... and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

A dog attacks a little girl

A man is walking in Central park in New York sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog.
He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A journalist arriving soon takes pictures and says: \- "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read in the newspapers: Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says: \- "But I am not a New Yorker!"
\- "Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning: Brave American saves life of little girl."
\- "But I am not an American!" says the man.
\- "Oh, where are you from then?"
\- "I am from Iraq".
So the next day newspapers reads "Dangerous Islamic t**... kills innocent American dog in front of a little girl".

Guy walks into a bar.. (long joke)

And asks for a drink. He notices a jar full of money and asks the bartender if he gets a lot of tips. Bartender explains that it's part of an ongoing bet. The man asks what he must do to win the money. The bartender states that the man must climb the oak tree behind the bar and grab a leaf from the very top, pull an abscessed tooth from a pit bull, and bang a 50 year old v**.... The man refuses.
After many drinks, the man finally accepts the bet. He climbs the tree with ease and brings the bartender a leaf. The man then stumbles to the back room where the dog is sleeping. After a lot of commotion, screaming, and yelping, the man returns. He says, "Now where's the lady with the abscessed tooth?"

Bear Removal Service

A man in northern Minnesota woke up one morning to find a bear on his roof. He looked in the Yellow Pages, and sure enough, there was an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." He called the number listed and the bear remover said he'd be over within an hour.
The bear remover arrived, and got out of his van. He had a ladder, a baseball bat, a 12 gauge shotgun, and a mean looking, heavily scarred old pit bull.
"What are you going to do.?" the homeowner asked.
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go
up there, and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his t**..., and
not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the
cage in the back of the van."
He then handed the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun
for?" the homeowner asked.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, you shoot the dog."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these pit bulls jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.