pistachio Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious pistachio puns

What do you call a mustache soaked in urine?

A pistachio.

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My ex-girlfriend was a slut.

She bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie.

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Pistachio can't

But pecan

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Did you know Pinocchio has a brother?

His name is Pistachio, every time he lies his nuts grow.

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You know when you open a pistachio and it's empty inside?

That's getting to know me, in a nutshell.

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What do you call angry facial hair?

Pistachio

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Did you know they make pistachio ice cream now

It's just nuts

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My friend went into a sudden trance where she imagined she was stuck in a Pistachio.

I told her to snap out of it.



-She couldn't.-

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What do you call it when you open an unripened pistachio?

Pistatutory rape

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I don't like pistachios

They are always pissed-at-chyou

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Why Elvis Presley does not eat pistachio ice cream?

Because he is dead.

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Why did the clam and the pistachio break up?

Because hes shellfish and shes a nut.

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What do you serve someone when you are really mad at them?

Pistachio Ice Cream

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Why would someone name a dog "pistachio"?

Because they're nuts

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Which nut is the angriest?

The pistachio.

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Why are pistachios called pistachios?

More like "these-are-hard-to-openios"

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My friend keeps stuffing his Dick into pistachio shells

I'm pretty sure he's just fucking nuts

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What's my favorite flavor of ice cream to eat when we're arguing?

Pistachio

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What are the most funny Pistachio jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Pistachio? Well, here are the best Pistachio dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Pistachio pick up lines to share with friends.

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