Pirated Jokes

38 pirated jokes and hilarious pirated puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pirated that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Pirated Short Jokes

Short pirated jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pirated humour may include short bad pirate jokes also.

  1. A pirate goes to the doctor and say, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh." The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign."
    pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten!"
  2. While driving to work, robbers jumped into my car and stole everything. They were pirates of the car I be in.
  3. How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music? They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.
  4. What is something with 8 eyes, 8 leg, and 8 hands? 8 pirates
    My little brother told me this joke and I am so proud of him.
  5. What is a Pirate's favorite letter? The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.
    Thanks to everyone who awarded this post! You're so kind .
  6. When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back
  7. What's a pirate's favorite letter? A writ of safe passage from his majesty, king Charles II of England.
  8. What's a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir,
    We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ...
  9. What is a pirates favorite letter? The one from the Governor telling him he's been pardoned.
  10. As told to me by my 7 YO son this morning... Him: What's a pirates favorite letter?
    Me: ARRRGH!
    Him: You would think it would be ARRRGH but my first love be the "C"!

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Pirated One Liners

Which pirated one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pirated? I can suggest the ones about pirate kid and pirates kid.

  1. Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies. Nyetflix.
  2. You know what has 8 legs 8 hands and 8 eyes? 8 Pirates
  3. Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.
  4. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!
  5. What's a pirates favourite letter? P, because without it they're irate
  6. What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.
  7. What's a pirate's favorite musical note? The High Cs
  8. Just watched a pirated movie On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 3.14
  9. 3.14% of all sailors are Pi-rates! (Have a great pi-day)
  10. What do you call a communist pirate ship? The USS-ARRR
  11. How much did the pirate pay to have his ears pierced? A buccaneer :D
  12. What's a pirate's favorite explosive? M80
  13. What does a pirate say when he puts his peg leg in a freezer? Shiver me timbers!
  14. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
    Credit to my sister
  15. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? 'Aye matey"

Pirated Version Jokes

Here is a list of funny pirated version jokes and even better pirated version puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why can't pirates finish the alphabet? The pirated version isn't the full edition.
  • What do you call a pirated version of Windows? Port Holes
  • What do you call a pirated version of that new South Park game? South Park: Fractured but Cracked
Pirated joke, What do you call a pirated version of that new South Park game?

Cheerful Pirated Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about pirated you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pirate argh jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pirated pranks.

I recently watched a pirated film.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a 3.14.

I gave that movie 3.14 stars!

Cause I pi-rated it.

Yesterday I watched the movie Carrrs.

Well, it was just Cars, but I pirated it.

What do you call a movie with 3.14 stars?


Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

I pirated an ethics textbook.

I'll find out if I did the right thing soon enough.


The FBI seize a collection of pirated movies.
The movies were Footloose, dirty dancing, ferris bueller's day off, ghost busters and the breakfast club.
As the pirate sees his beloved movies taken away from him, he cries
"ARGH! Me eighties!"

Why is a pirated copy of a Sigourney Weaver film Donald Trump's least favourite movie?

It's an i**... Alien.

What does an undocumented Mexican immigrant have in common with a pirated Ridley Scott movie?

Both are an i**... Alien.

Going to watch a movie in theater

Me: This movie is pirated
Friend: How?
Me: This movie has got 3.14 rating

Wanna 'Netflix and chill' but I can't afford Netflix

"Pirated movies and chill" isn't getting me laid =/

Anyone seen "Captain Phillips"?

If not, I have a pirated copy you can borrow.

How do you stop a film from being pirated in China?

Just name it Tiananmen Square Massacre.

Where do pirates go when they misbehave?

The nautical step
I think I made this up but I might have subconsciously pirated it.

The letters in "Pirated Envelopes"

Apparently the letters in "Pirated Envelopes" can be rearranged into "Sleep deprivation"!
It only took me all night to figure out

My teacher pirated a movie about birds

It was pretty i**....

Pirated joke, My teacher pirated a movie about birds