Pirate Arr Jokes
80 pirate arr jokes and hilarious pirate arr puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pirate arr that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pirate Arr Short Jokes
Short pirate arr jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pirate arr humour may include short jokes also.
- A pirate walks in a bar... A pirate walks in a bar with a paper towel on his head, the bartender says "whats with that" the Pirate says "ARR!! I have Bounty on me head"
- What's a pirate's favourite letter? You may think it's arr, but they are truly in love with the sea!
- A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck between his legs. Bartender: What's with the steering wheel?
Pirate: Arr, it's drivin' me nuts! - A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender sees this and asks him why.
The pirate replies, "Arr, I've got a bounty on me head!" - A pirate walks into his favorite bar with a roll of paper towels on his head The bartender says " What's with the paper towels Skipper? "
The pirate says " Arr, there be a bounty on me head " - What's a pirates favorite letter? [most people respond] - R?
Arr that's what you'd think but it's the C! - What does a pirate do after a long days work? What does a pirate do after a long days work?
He has some Arr and Arr! - What does a pirate tell his dog before going away on a long journey? Arr! Prepare to be boarded!
- How many letters are there in the Pirate Alphabet? Ten. Aye, aye, arr, and the seven seas.
- Do you know how the store Menards got its name? A pirate was kicked in the nuts and he went, "Arr! Me-nards!"
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Pirate Arr One Liners
Which pirate arr one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pirate arr? I can suggest the ones about and .
- 'How old arr you?' asked one of the pirate's sailors. The pirate replied, 'Aye matey.'
- If pirates say "Arr", What do software pirates say? .RAR
- To err is human... To arr is pirate
- What did the proud pirate dad say after seeing his son torch an enemy ship? Arr, son.
- Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arr.
- What is a Pirate's favorite crime to commit? ARR-son!
- Have you heard of the famous pirate who peed on underage girls? His name was Arr Kelly
- Why did the pirate get cancelled? He used the hard "arr!"
- What is a Soviet pirate's favorite ship? The USS Arr.
- What did the pirate say to his pyromaniac son? Arr! Son!
- Where do you find the Communist pirates? In the USS-Arr!
- Why can't people from Boston become pirates? Because they don't pronounce their Arrs!
- What's a pirates favourite video game genre? Arr-PG's
- Why are pirates so good in bed? We just Arr!
- Where do modern pirates store their treasure? An *Arr*-chive.
Pirate Arr Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about pirate arr you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pirate arr pranks.
The Fearsome Pirate
The most fearsome pirate captain on the seven seas is sailing through the Bermuda Triangle when suddenly his first mate comes up next to him and says "Sir, one of the King's ships has been sighted over the horizon. They're armed and we should be ready for battle."
The captain turns around and replies "Aye, thank you matey. Ready the cannons and bring me my red jacket."
The first mate is confused and asks the captain why he needs a red jacket. The captain replies "Arr, if I am shot and the crew sees that I'm bleeding they're liable to be afraid."
The first mate admires the captain's bravery, so he goes off to the captain's quarters to fetch his jacket. Once he comes above deck to find the captain, however, he realizes that just visible on the horizon is an enormous armada of ships - hundreds and hundreds of Royal Navy vessels coming towards them from every possible direction. They are completely surrounded.
The captain whispers to him:
"Aye, matey, find me brown pants."
So a pirate has been on a ship for 6 months...
but there are no women on the ship and being male,he had some...urges, so he asked the captain " arr its been 6 months since we've had a lass on the ship and some of the others are getting urges. what can we do about them??" and the captain responds" go down to the front of the ship and there will be a barrel, stick your privates in there and go at it." so he did as he was told and when he was done he came back. he told the captain " captain! that was great! how many times can i use it????" and the captain turned to him and said " every day except thursday." and the pirate asked " why?" the captain responded " aye, because thats your turn to be in the barrel."
The story of the pirate.
A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender notices that there is the steering wheel to a ship on the front of his pants. So the bartender, perplexed, says to him "you know that there's a steering wheel on your c**..., right?" and the pirate says "Arr! Its drivin' me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar
with a steering wheel hanging from the front of his belt. The bar tender said, "Hey buddy, you have a steering wheel tied to your pants". To which the pirate replied, "Arr, I know. It's drivin' me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar...
With a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender notices and says "sir, are you aware you have a steering wheel down your pants?" To which the pirate replies "Arr, it's driving me nuts."
So a pirate walks into a bar..
and he has a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender looks at him and says, "Did you know that there's a steering wheel coming out of your c**...?" The pirate nods and says, "Arr, it's driving me nuts!"
Pirate walks into a bar
As a bartender was cleaning up for the evening as a pirate walked into his bar. This was the most stereo typical pirate the bartender had ever seen. He had an eye-patch over one eye, a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder, a hook for a hand, and spoke with the usual pirate accent. The only thing that set this pirate apart from all the other pirates the bartender had seen was the GIANT wood steering wheel shoved down the front of his pants.
The Pirate approached the bar and shouted "ARR...Barkeep! Give me a whiskey!"
The bartender said: "Sure pirate, but first, you have to tell me, what's with the giant steering wheel shoved down the front of your pants?"
The Pirate replied: "ARR, I don't know! But it's driving me NUTS!"
A pirate walks into a bar. He sits down to reveal he has a sheath on his hook hand.
He turns to the man sitting next to him and says, "Arr, I be bettin you I can eat me own hook." The man, thinking this is just some crazy pirate man, takes the bet. The pirate then removes to sheath from his hook to reveal that it's made entirely of chocolate. The pirate eats the hook and says "Arr, I guess you should have
*never judged a hook by its cover*."
Then, as he's leaving the bar, the pirate gets hit by a bus, so you could say *it's better to be safe than scurvy*.
What did the octogenarian pirate say?
Arr matey!
What be a pirate's favourite letter?
Yh'Arr,
y'might think it be the R,
but boy do we love the **C**
A couple pirate jokes
(Couple good misdirection jokes)
You: What's a pirates favorite military branch?
Friend:ARRRMY
You: No yee d**..., it's the coast guard.
You:What's a pirates favorite letter?
Friend:ARRRR
You: Aye, you think it be arr but it's the SEA! (C)
You:What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?
Friend:ARRRBYS
You: No. It's Long John Silver's.
One pirate kicks a second pirate in the knee...
The second pirate says "Arr!! Me knee!" (meanie)
What did the pirate say when he fell backwards?
Arr, me b**...!
A pirate, a chicken and a train enter a bar.
"what can I get you?"
ARR BKAWK CHOO CHOO
I came up with a great pirate joke, but my friend stole it.
A cruel Arr-any, m'friends.
Where did the Candian pirate live?
Ont**ARR**io
You know your kid's going to be a pirate when he grows up
if you hear him say to his friend "I know you Arr! But what am aye?"
A pirate has a steering wheel attached to his c**....
As he walks down the street someone notices and asks "Doesn't that hurt?"
The pirate replies, "Arr, it drives me nuts."
Why do pirates say "Arr"?
Because they'd sound silly if they said "Q" and if they said "A" they'd sound Canadian
I'm not often hired to be a pirate..
But when I am, I charge by the 'arr..'
So a pirate walks into a bar,
he has a steering wheel on his c**....
The bartender goes: "What are you doing with that thing?"
The pirate responds: "Arr, its been drivin' me nuts."
Saw a pirate with a giant steering wheeling attached to his c**....
Asked him if he was ok. He said "Arr, it's driven me nuts!"
A Pirate tried starting a rap career in Compton, but his songs were not well received.
He couldn't get rid of the habit of using the hard arr
What's a pirate's favourite element of the peri-arrr-dic table?
Arr-gon?
No. Gold, you idiot.
Happy International Talk like a Pirate day!
An old pirate with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eye patch walks into a bar
The bartender says:
Whoa, that's quite a get up you got there! Tell me how you got that peg leg.
The pirate explains:
Yarr! Ah lost me leg in a mighty battle with the toyal navy!
The bartender asks:
Wow, how about the hand?
Pirate:
'twas me old nemesis Racham the Red cut it off afore I scewerd 'im like a sow at a buffet!
Bartender:
Wow, that's quite a story! How'd you end up with the eye patch?
Pirate:
Seagull s**... in me eye...
Bartender:
A seagull s**... in your eye? Really? How bad could that be?
Pirate:
Arr... 'twas the first day with me new hook...
An old pirate walks into a bar...
He had the whole package: pegleg, hook for hand and an eyepatch.
He gets some stares from the other guests as he takes his seat by the bar.
Eventually one of the guests dares to ask: "how did you lose your leg?"
"Arr I only fell overboard one time in me whole pirate career and that's when a shark bit me leg off." The pirate replies.
The guest keeps asking on and learns that he lost his hand in a swordfight.
And ofcourse finally he asks the pirate how he lost his eye.
To wich the pirate replies: "A seagull s**... in it."
Unsurprisingly this answer was met with a blank stare and ackward silence.
"Arr well" said the pirate eventually, "It was the same day I just got the hook..."
What does a weaboo pirate own?
An Arr-nime body pillow.
A Pirate captain comes out as gay to his crew.
The next day he pulls everyone together for a meeting while they're docked at port, during the meeting he introduces a young man to the crew and says "Arr, this be me first mate."
What do you say to a vain pirate?
Arr! I be very smart!
How do EU pirates measure national output?
GDP Arr
A pirate walks in a bar with his ships wheel down his pants.
The Bartender says: "Hey mate, do you know you have a wheel down your pants?"
The pirate says: "Arr, it's driving me nuts!"
What was the pirate movie rated?
X. Arr-on Jeremy was the star.
What kind of car does a pirate furry drive?
A fur-ARR-y.
Why are pirates considered racists?
They always add the 'arr'
What did the pirate captain say to his boy when he burned down his ship?
Arr, son.
Why does the pirate laugh when reading a newspaper?
It has the funniest arr-tickles.
What do pirates and the the k**... have in common?
They both drop hard arr's
A father decides to commit a crime
But before he can do it he must get a disguise, so he heads on down to a halloween shop and buys a pirate disguise.
Now that he has a disguise he went to go commit the crime. After the crime was done he escaped home, but as he was removing said disguise his son walked in
Father you look like he person who committed a crime today, did you? And what crime did you commit?
Arr son
A broken English speaker told a joke to a boy.
The broken English speaker, a man, told the boy a joke about a sword-fighting pirate that desperately hated the wind.
However, the boy, being so young, missed the joke.
No, no, no, said the man. Arr slash whoosh.
I've heard there used to be so many pirates in Kansas
But they were eventually kicked out and made their own state, arr-kansas