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Pinocchio Jokes

75 pinocchio jokes and hilarious pinocchio puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pinocchio that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some Pinocchio jokes? We've got you covered! Check out our collection of jokes about the lovable wooden puppet who just can't seem to tell a lie.

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Popular Pinocchio Short Jokes

Short pinocchio jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pinocchio humour may include short fairy tale jokes also.

  1. Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.
    *Joke's from my Dad and his friend*
  2. Why did Pinocchio prefer wooden girls over the real thing? Because the wooden girls are knotty!
  3. What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face? Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...
  4. Why couldn't Pinocchio get a date on craigslist because everyone wanted "no strings attatched"
  5. Did you hear about the woman banned from Disney World? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, "Lie to me, Pinocchio! Lie to me!"
  6. did you hear what the little boy found when he opened his toy box? Raggedy Ann setting on Pinocchio's face screaming,"Lie to me, lie to me."
  7. Pinocchio boarded a bus in Rome. The bus was full of priests, except for one seat. Pinocchio took the seat and said" thank god I'm not a real boy!!"
  8. Why couldn't Pinocchio's nose ever grow to be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot
  9. Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the Toy Box? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, saying "Lie to me!"
  10. Why is Pinocchio the most requested at the Disney brothel? Because he lets girls sit on his face while he tells them lies.

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Pinocchio One Liners

Which pinocchio one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pinocchio? I can suggest the ones about puppet and wood.

  1. Voldemort:so I just have to lie? Pinocchio: yep.
  2. When did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught fire.
  3. Do you know what Pinocchio and your dad have in common? They were both inside a whale.
  4. Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty? He caught on fire.
  5. What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common? Both want to be real boys
  6. Why didn't Pinocchio have any children? There was no lead in his pencil.
  7. How did Pinocchio discover he was made of wood? His hand caught on fire
  8. What's Pinocchio's favorite social media app? BeReal
  9. What do Universal Studios and Pinocchio have in common? They both own a woodpecker
  10. What do you call a guy who gets turned on by Pinocchio dolls? A Gepettophile.
  11. What did Pinocchio say to his girlfriend Sit on my face and I'll tell you some lies.
  12. How does Pinocchio's father know when his son tells a lie? He just nose it.
  13. Pinocchio lied while going down on her. She was taken aback.
  14. Why isn't Pinocchio in a serious relationship? Because he wants no strings attached.
  15. Why was Pinocchio a womanizer? He only got into relationships with no strings attached.

Pinocchio Cartoon Jokes

Here is a list of funny pinocchio cartoon jokes and even better pinocchio cartoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Which Disney cartoon is Voldemort's favorite of all time and that he just wishes would come true? Pinocchio
Pinocchio joke, Which Disney cartoon is Voldemort's favorite of all time and that he just wishes would come true?

Pinocchio joke, Which Disney cartoon is Voldemort's favorite of all time and that he just wishes would come true?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about pinocchio can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of pinocchio puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comedy Pinocchio Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What funny jokes about pinocchio you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean nose jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make pinocchio prank.

Jesus is down by the gates to Heaven

When an old man approaches.
"Well, what have you done to deserve entry to Heaven?" Asks St Peter.
"To be honest." replies the man, "I am merely a simple carpenter. It was my son who was truly great. Although he wasn't my biological son... his birth was miraculous, still I loved him very much. Later in life he went through many trials and transformations. He spread joy and his story is told all over the world even to this day."
Jesus looks at the man, with a tear in his eye, and says "Father?"
The man looks back; "... Pinocchio?"

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

Pinocchio has been getting complaints from his girlfriend....

Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his girlfriend. "Every time we make love," she said, "I get splinters. "
So
Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the carpenter, for advice.
"Sandpaper," said the carpenter. "That's what you need. " So
Pinocchio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few weeks later the carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again. "How are you getting on with the girls now? " he asked. "Who needs girls? " said
Pinocchio."

Pinocchio is walking down the street...

...and he runs into a wizard, who says, "Hey, Pinocchio, give me five bucks and I'll turn you into a real boy."
"What's the catch?" Pinocchio asks suspiciously.
"No catch," the wizard replies, "Just give me five bucks and I'll turn you into a real boy, no strings attached."

What is Pinocchio's favourite kind of s**...?

No strings attached.

Pinocchio is being interrogated by police

Police Officer: Were you going 60 miles on a 40 mile road?
Pinocchio: Noooooooo
Police Officer: But didn't an officer flag you down?
Pinocchio: Noooooooooooooo
Police Officer: Your car is the red Toyota right?
Pinocchio: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo
Police Officer: Why the long no's?

Pinocchio and his girlfriend were having problems.

Every time they would have s**..., she would complain about splinters. Eventually, Pinocchio went to Gepetto for help.
Gepetto told Pinocchio to go to the hardware store and buy some sandpaper to sand off the splinters before he had s**... with his girlfriend.
A week later, Gepetto asked Pinocchio, "So how's it going with your girlfriend?"
"Who needs a girlfriend?," said Pinnochio.

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Pinocchio was going down on his GF, she started yelling lie to me, lie to me.

Pinocchio:" i love you"!

A blonde called tech support and was asked for her password

She replies, "Snoopy Snow White Cinderella d**... Pinocchio Harry Potter Ariel 8." The tech support guy ask, "Why such a long password?" "I was told it needs to have 7 characters and one number." She replies.

what does pinocchio have for breakfast?

oakmeal

Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal?

He wasn't cut out for this.

Pinocchio is having issues in bed.

He goes to his doctor, and says his girlfriend is complaining about splinters. The doctor tells him to apply some sandpaper to his junk and see if that helps.
A week later the doc sees Pinocchio skipping down the street and asks how his girlfriend is doing.
"Who needs a girlfriend?"

What was Pinocchio's defense when he was tried for armed robbery?

well, Geppetto was the one pulling the strings

When is Pinocchio's girlfriend the happiest?

When he tells her he likes the smell while going down on her

Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?

She sat on Pinocchio's face and made him lie to her.

When did Pinocchio realized that he is made from wood?

When his right arm caught on fire...

Two different t**...

Doctor: You got two different t**.... One is made of wood and the other one is metal.
Man: * **surprised** *
Doctor: Do you have children?
Man: Yes, two - Pinocchio is 3 and Terminator will be 7 soon.

How do you know "Pinocchio" was written a long time ago?

He kept making such a big deal out of being wireless.

Hear about the girl who sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Are you gonna lie to me!?"

Pinocchio said, "Yes... no... yes... no... yes... no...!"

What do you call an old man with a Pinocchio f**...?

A Geppettophile

Pinocchio could easily pass a polygraph.

Too bad his lies are too on the nose.

Pinocchio got a new job at a tire store

He keeps telling all the customers "I'm a wheel boy."

Saint Peter has a day off...

... so Jesus takes his place. A man arrives at the Pearly Gates.
Jesus: Hello. Name?
Man: Joseph.
Jesus: What did you do for a living?
Man: Well...I was a carpenter.
Jesus: Have you made any good to humanity?
Man: Oh yes. I raised a child that revolutionized the world.
After along pause... Of thinking how much of a coincidence it is... Of re-reading what he wrote down. Jesus look up. Tears in his eyes.
Jesus: DAD?!
Man: PINOCCHIO!

Did you know Pinocchio has a brother?

His name is Pistachio, every time he lies his nuts grow.

PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend...

....who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having s**.... Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

Jesus saw a crying old man while walking in a desert.

He came closer and asked what problem is.
Old man: I'm looking for my son, but I'm gonna lose my hope.
Jesus pitied the man and said, let's look for your son together.
After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily.
Yes, said the old man. He had nails driven on his hands and feet.
Jesus started and hugged the man, saying FATHER!
The old man screamed happily, PINOCCHIO!

It would be so nice if Pinocchio was a girl with b**....

Wooden t**...?

What did Raggedy Ann say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell a lie...... tell the truth........ tell a lie ....... tell the truth

Do you know the story of how the death of Pinocchio came to be?

He was m**... and unintentionally set himself ablaze.

How did Pinocchio die?

He was m**... and unintentionally set himself ablaze.

What did Gepetto use for Pinocchio's circumcision?

A pencil sharpener

Jesus is walking through the desert when he comes across and old man crying to himself.

"Why do you cry for Old Man?" Jesus asked.
"I've been searching for my son forever and I'm about to give up hope."
"Well I've been wandering the desert in search of my father for many years, perhaps I've seen your son in my travels. Can you describe him?" Jesus explained.
"He's got nail marks in his hands and feet..."
With that Jesus threw open his arms and embraced the old man. "Father!" he exclaimed.
"Pinocchio!" the old man cried.

My favorite burn I've gotten for being trans

I was born female and transitioned to male. Early on in my transition, my gf and I were playing a video game, and I called her a noob when she died.
Her: Yeah okay Pinocchio.
Me: Pinocchio?
Her: You know... "I want to be a real boy!"

Pinocchio joke, How did Pinocchio discover he was made of wood?

jokes about pinocchio

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these pinocchio jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.