Pinning Jokes
93 pinning jokes and hilarious pinning puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pinning that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Pinning Short Jokes
Short pinning jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pinning humour may include short jokes also.
- Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 men. It exploded and killed 20 more. Then he threw the pin and killed 10 more men.
- Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.
- Is it possible to stop a grenade from exploding by putting the pin back in? I need a quick answer to this question
- I bought a grenade today... Things went terribly wrong when the cashier asked me for my PIN.
- This will blow your mind! If you take the pin out of a grenade and put your ear to the hole you can hear the faint sound of the world wide I.Q average increasing.
- A blonde threw a grenade at another So she pulled the pin and threw it back.
The first then asks, "What should I do with this pin?" - I bought a world map for my room, I'm gonna put a pin on everywhere that i've travelled… … but first I gotta travel to the top 2 corners of the map so it won't fall down.
(Mitch Hedberg 2003) - After an extremely tense argument with my girlfriend, the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me.
- Hey guys quick question, can you put a pin back in a grenade? Gonna need a fast answer for this one...
- What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? You pick up the grenade from the ground, pull the pin, and throw it back.
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Pinning One Liners
Which pinning one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pinning? I can suggest the ones about and .
- When you pull the pin on a grenade, how do you put it back in? Quick answers please.
- Can you put the pin back in a grenade? It's kind of urgent. Need and answer fast.
- A blonde threw a grenade at me So I pulled the pin and threw it back
- PIN number My PIN number is the last four digits of pi
- Why did the bowling pins stop working? They went on strike!
- Can you put a pin back in a grenade? no really guys I need an answer ASAP
- What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number? Nought two sixty.
- I'm trying to get in touch with my old judo instructor. He is a hard man to pin down!
- Axl Rose sat on a pin. Axl Rose.
- How do you stop a baby from walking in circles? Pin its other hand to the ground.
- how do you put a pin back into a grenade? There apparently is no way, so you jus
- What sounds like a pin hitting the floor, but louder? A PIN HITTING THE FLOOR.
- What do you call an African who plays 10 pin bowling online? Ebola.
- What did Jesus feel before he was nailed to the cross? Pins and Needles
- Mary Rose sat on a pin Mary rose!
Pinning Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about pinning you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pinning pranks.
How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two.
One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
If my grandmother knew how much money i spent on her f**...
She'd be spinning in her ditch
Ninja Joke
Can a viking throw an axe?
Sure he can.
Can a cowboy throw a lasso?
Sure he can.
Can a ninja throw a spinning blade?
Shuriken.
A daughter is seemingly possessed by a d**......
Her mother frantically calls their priest, requesting an exorcism. She describes the details "She has been spinning about wildly, climbing on the walls, running on the ceiling.. moving about non-stop!" The priest replies "I don't know what you want me to do. Sounds like she's already exercising plenty!"
So I tried using one of those date r**... drugs the other night...
It turns out its really hard to r**... a girl when you're drooling on the floor the room is spinning.
When I put my shoes on earlier I suddenly felt very ill and drowsy and the room started spinning
I think they might have been laced with something
Why don't more men take spinning classes?
Because guys don't want to be a around a bunch of women on their cycle.
What do you call Michael J. Fox spinning around in a chair?
A fidget spinner
My Car spinning uncontrollably thru a crowd of people
And My Korean friend screams "Hit the Blakes" & I'm like "I can't be that selective"
A group of lads go out for a night and then go to a cowboy themed bar.
When they go in they see that the bar has installed a spinning bull. They all have a go and the bull spins them around and they all fall off within 30 seconds.Up steps p**... and he jumps on the bull and he stays on for 10 minutes before falling off . The rest of the lads ask how he managed to stay on for so long and he replies
"my wifes epileptic"
A propeller is a big fan
A jet's propeller is basically just a big fan to cool down the pilot. Once it stops spinning, you can see him start sweating.
Last week, a burglary was reported at the fairgrounds
The burglars appear to have taken the bumper cars, the Tilt-a-Whirl, the spinning teacups, the Whirligig swing, the carousel and the Ferris wheel. Detectives have been searching the fairgrounds for clues, but report they still haven't found anything to go on.
A blind guy walks into a store with a seeing-eye dog.
All of a sudden he grabs the dog by the tail and start spinning it around over his head. Horrified, a shopkeeper rushes over to him and says sir, sir are you OK?
The blind guy says sure, I'm just looking around.
dead baby jokes
Q. whats more fun than spinning a dead baby around at 50mph?
A. stopping it with a shovel.
What do you call a spinning potato?
A ro-tater.
Picked up my new rug from Ikea!
It's just a sheep and a spinning wheel
Whats more fun than spinning a baby around on a clothesline?
Stopping it with a shovel ;;)
Young boy: Mommy, Mommy I can't stop spinning in circles!
Mommy: Shut up, or I will nail your other foot to the floor too!
Since we're doing old jokes: How do you stop a baby from spinning around in circles?
Nail it's other hand to the floor.
I thought I wouldn't like m**... while spinning in my desk chair.
But I'm coming around to it.
How many Kennedys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four. One to hold the bulb and three to drink until the room starts spinning.
A blind man walks into a bar with his sight dog..
He then takes the dog and starts spinning it around by the tail. The bartender asks "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The blind man replies "Just looking around."
A blind man
A blind man walks into a store with his service dog. He goes to the middle of the store, picks the dog up by its hind legs and starts spinning around. Everyone in the store stops and stares. The store manager immediately runs up to him and says "Sir, can I help you find something?" The blind man, still spinning with the dog, says "nope, just looking around."
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to hold it in place and forty more to get drunk enough to make the room start spinning.
What's the fastest spinning country?
France, because it has the most revolutions per minute.
What do you call a spinning, bisexual dinosaur that loves Juno & Superbad?
Biceratops
What's the hardest part about fidget spinning?
Telling your parents you're gay.
Can you perform a spinning dragon uppercut?
shor-yu-ken
What do you call Bob Ross spinning around in circles at a theatre play?
Aphrodisiac
Ryu wanted to confess to his lady-crush Chun Li....
So he baked some white fudge treacle tarts and put them down on a table. Ken walked up and was like, "ooh, these tarts smell delicious" and he started to pick one up, when Ryu grabbed the whole plate and did a jumping-spinning kick at Ken while yelling "THESE TARTS AREN'T FOR YOU KEN!"
How many astronauts does it take to screw a light bulb?
One but it will take several others to prevent the spacecraft from spinning in the same direction.
---
From my book *400 Fresh Clean Jokes For Everyone*.
How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to hold the bulb and the other to serve him beer until the room starts spinning.
I was making pottery and i fell asleep while doing it..
When i woke my head was spinning..
Why was Jesus hanging around the spinning teacups carnival ride?
He was taking away the sins of the whirled
I've started wearing a bike helmet, cause I find safety important. Now people stare and make fun of me.
I'll never go to that spinning class again.
What's the purpose of propellers on a plane?
To keep the captain cool.
If they stop spinning, he starts to sweat.
I ordered dinner from Vertigo's Pizza last night
They delivered so fast that my head was spinning.
"Doctor, doctor I keep seeing a spinning insect out of the corner of my eye..."
Doctor says "it's nothing it's just a bug going round."
what do you do when you see a baby spinning in circles?
stop laughing and untie it from the ceiling fan!!
Lots of people in the gym were looking at me and it was really encouraging.
I think they were impressed by my clapping and spinning star jumps.
A blind man walks into a bar
A blind man walks into a bar, lead by his seeing-eye dog. He stops in the middle of the bar, picks the dog up, places it on his shoulders and proceeds to spin in circles. The bartender asks the man, "Hey fella, why are you spinning around with your dog like that, huh?" The blind man stops and says, "Oh, I'm just looking around."
Imagine if Big f**... had gotten hold of Nikolai Teslas technological advancements and applied them to Coffins...
He would be spinning in his grave
Some people might be annoyed with these internet trends...
But I think it just adds to our culture. I'm glad I got to witness the kale-end of one and the bespinning of another!
BREAKING NEWS: A Large Object With a Pointy Stick and Round End Was Found Spinning in the Heart of Downtown
And that's our top story of the night.
stupidity
A man was walking pass an alley way and his eyes caught a homeless man. As he moved closer to see the man he heard someone whisper something. The homeless man told him stay calm, cool and collected while I rob you of your money. As the man tried to turn away he felt a heavy slap on his face that sent him spinning of balance.
I've been through too much. I'm sick and tired. Everything is spinning around me.
'Johnny, get out the washing machine you little s**...!'
I had a great vacuum cleaner until the brushes stopped spinning.
Now it just s**...
A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.
"How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.
"My head's spinning," the engineer confesses.
"How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"
"Well, it's not even difficult.
All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."
I'm like Rumplestiltskin
But instead of spinning hay into gold, I spin bs into a B.S.
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
I read a book about extramarital affairs and spinning tops....
I guess I didn't expect so many trysts and turns.
Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
President Trumps presidency is like a mule with a spinning wheel.
Nobody knows how he got and danged if he knows how to use it.
Are things funnier when you're drunk?
Or is the room actually spinning?
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
Chuck Norris kicked Earth once
It didn't stop spinning since then
I've been through to much. I'm sick and tired. Everything is spinning around me.
I don't know how I'm gonna bare the ironing board.
What keeps the planet spinning?
Little kids doing 360-noscopes
Mommy mommy why am I spinning around and around?
What do you call a fish with no i?
Fish - I = FSH
FSHSHSHSHHS ߷=cancer in spinning form
Do you know why the Earth's spinning ?
Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
What would you call a Street Fighter player who can bust out the Spinning Pile Driver really fast?
SPD Gonzales.
Someone recently discovered the mathematical formula underpinning every Beatles song ever!
She got the Strawberry Fields Medal.
What do you call a dwarf spinning in circles?
A midget spinner
Clock warehouse
A kid goes walking in the woods and stumbles a upon a warehouse. He goes inside the warehouse and there are hundreds of large grandfather clocks. After walking around a little he sees a wizard and he asks the wizard what the clocks are for. The wizard tells him that each clock is assigned to a different person, and whenever the person is m**... the hands of the clock move. They walk around some more and the kid sees a clock that is away from the rest of the clocks over by a window and its spinning fast. The boy asks the wizard if that clocks broken because its spinning so fast and isn't stopping. The wizard says no, the clocks fine, it's just assigned to your mother. We use it as a fan.
I have a dream about fidget spinner...
it never stopped spinning.
Big Italian guy making dough
So I'm in a pizza shop/italian bakery. Like a legit mom and pop old country kind of place. While I'm waiting for my pie I notice a large, sweaty italian man which an exceptionally hairy chest poking out of his wife beater. He is spinning some dough when all of a sudden he slips and instead of catching it, the dough lands on his chest and he peels it off his sweaty hairy pectorals.
He goes back to spinning the dough and I say hey you're not going to use that are you? He says, yeah itll go in the oven and the germs will die. I tell him to get me his manager. I explain what happened and the manager looks at me and says "that ain't nuttin! you should see when hes making donuts!"
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm.
His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached.
The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis.
"Incredible!," says his friend.
"Medical science is amazing."
Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off.
Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached.
The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.
"Incredible!," says his friend.
"Medical science is amazing!"
Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head.
Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached.
The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him.
He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday."
The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
What do you call a homosexual guy spinning really fast?
A gayblade
First Thing Leonardo DiCaprio Did When He Got Home From Oscars Was...
Check the spinning top.
The best thing about donating blood...
is standing up and spinning around immediately after.
What is a pirate doing when he's telling a story?
He's spinning a yaaaaaaarn!
Back in high school..
...I was a huge metal fan. In math class, I had an 8/10 girl next to me, she turns me on so much. I always try really hard to impress her, she's so hot. The teacher starts passing back last weeks test, and 8/10 looks at me, smiles, and starts playing with her hair. I can't handle it, I start spinning. The cute girl is completely staring now. I completely break down and stop spinning. She frowns, and I'm trying so hard to keep cool, but I had absolutely no power whatsoever. The teacher turns and plugs me back in, and I start spinning again. I was a metal fan in high school.
Something nice happened to me today.
I'm a huge metal fan in high school. During math class, a beautiful girl sat next to me. She turned me on so much but she didn't notice me though. I tried really hard to impress her and she is hot.
Now the teacher is passing back the last week's test. She looks at me and she starts smiling and playing with her hair. I'm spinning and I can't handle it.
The teacher then trips over me. I broke down and stopped spinning. The beautiful girl then frowns. I looked back at the front of the room while trying hard to keep cool. I have no power.
The teacher plugs me in. I start spinning. I'm a huge metal fan.
Would spinning in your grave be considered a plot twist?
--obligatory text--
This pig with the wooden leg . . .
A guy visits his friend, who is a farmer, and sees him sitting on the front porch, chewing a strand of wheat and petting a pig with a wooden leg. They get to talking, and the friend asks the farmer about the pig's leg.
'it's the craziest thing', say the farmer. 'There was this fire a few weeks back, in the old barn next to the house. I was lost in the smoke, searching for a way out, when the central support beam collapsed, pinning me down. I was going to die. BUT SUDDENLY, through the thick haze, I see this pig rushing toward me. She manages to wedge her body under the beam, and with all her might lifts the load just enough for me to shimmy my body out, and we both run to safety.'
'WOW, that is some incredible story,' says the friend 'but it still doesn't explain the wooden leg.'
--'Well, with a pig like THAT, you don't want to eat it all at once!'
A catholic man dies and goes to Heaven, there he learns that "lie clocks" exist for all humans...
A man is greeted by St. Peter, he quickly notices there are many objects that look like clocks attached to the walls.
St. Peter explains that every time a person tells a lie, the hand on their clocks spins just a little faster.
As he walks through the hallway, he sees mother Teresa's clock, which isn't spinning at all. He then sees Abraham Lincolns clock, and notices it is just slightly spinning. He asks, "just out of curiosity, where is Donald Trump's clock?"
St Peter replies "Oh its not here, Jesus uses it as a fan in his office."
A man goes to heaven
A man dies and goes to heaven, where he is met with Peter in a room full of clocks. The man looks around and sees something weird: all the clocks are going at a different pace. The man turns to Peter and asks him what all does clocks are about.
Peter replies: that is what we use to see if someone is lying. Every time someone lies, his/her clock moves by 1 second. Then the man looks up and sees a huge clock hanging on the ceiling, spinning faster than any other clock in the room. Who's clock is that? The man asks. Oh that, Peter says, that is Trump's clock. We use it as our ventilator!