Pink Jokes

Following is our collection of turquoise humor and negligee one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Pink puns for adults, dirty blue jokes or clean color gags for kids.

There is an abundance of carnation jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 56 funniest jokes on pink. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any green yellow pink witze you can hear about pink.

The Best jokes about Pink

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple

Sorry, wrong thread

The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd.

They've left those kids a loan.

The man came home early from work to find his wife lying naked on the bed, crying her eyes out.

What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…

Pink Panther's TODO list

1. TODO
2. TODO
3. TODO TODO TODO TODO TODOOO

A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.

He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.

The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."

"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.

"But why?" the bartender asks.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.


The Pink Panther's To Do list

- To do

- To do

- To do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo

Green chameleon for sale...

No, a red one.

No, blue.

No wait, a pink one.

Cool.

Never mind, I'm keeping it!

A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar...

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."

What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana?

Pink Floyd kept going after the wall.

I bought my girlfriend a pink vibrator for valentines day.

She told me as long as she has me she won't need it. I told her "actually that's what I'm here to talk about"

What do Pink Floyd and princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.


Today I was approached by Beyonce

Today I was approached by Beyonce who had just finished setting up at the studio. She said to me, "Excuse me hon. You haven't seen my phone have you? It's pink with a 'Bubblicious' cover on it."

I said, "No, sorry. Have you tried calling it?"

She said, "No. I put it on silent."

I said, "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it."

A border patrol officer stops a Mexican immigrant...

...on his way in to the U.S.
He says to the Mexican: "If you can make a whole sentence using the words Green, Pink and Yellow, Ill let you in with no delay"
The Mexican pauses to think for a few minutes then replies: "The phone goes Green-Green, I Pink it up and I say Yellow"

What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours?

Skip to the next track

A white man tells a black man

Why do people call you color man ?? To what the black man answers " I don't know


When I was born; I was black.
When I started to grow, I was black.
When I go to the beach I'm black.
When I have a cold I'm still black.
When I have panic I'm black.
When I'm sick I'm black.
even when I die I continued to be black.

Instead you my friend

When you're born you're pink.
When you start to grow you are white.
When you go to the beach you look red.
When you're cold you look blue.
When you have panic you look yellow.
When you're sick you look green.
When you die you turn gray ....

And they still dare to call me a color man

At the post office....

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

How do you annoy a Pink Floyd fan?

Play their music on shuffle

Where is my wife

A young man and an old man bumped shopping carts at the grocery store.
Young man: I am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was looking for my wife.
Old man : Sorry. I was also looking for my wife.
Young man: Well maybe we can look together. My wife is 24. She is 5'2". She has short black hair. She is wearing a pink tube top and blue Jeans. What does your wife look like?
Old man: It doesn't matter. Lets look for yours.

Mujibar get a job in India

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have to show you are proficient in the English language. Please make a sentence using the words: Yellow, Pink, and Green.'

Mujibar responded, 'The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and say, Yellow! This is Mujibar.'

Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him.


Whats pink and always slippery?

A pink slipper

"What's The Pink Panther's favourite type of jacket?"

"No idea."

"Denim."

"Denim?"

"Denim denim denim denim denim..."

The epic journey of the sperm cell

Once upon a time, a brand new sperm cell was being instructed by an older sperm cell.

"Right," he said, "this is what's going to happen: one day you'll be having a nap and you'll hear a siren. You rush out as fast as can, make absolutely sure you swim as hard as you can, because you HAVE to be first! You'll enter a long, wet pink tunnel, and you have to swim right to the end. When you get to the end, you'll see a round red ball. You say to the ball: 'Hi, I'm a sperm cell,' and the round red ball will say: 'Hi, I'm an egg cell,' and then the miracle of conception will occur."

"Don't worry sir," said the new sperm cell, "I won't let you down!"

A little while later, the new sperm cell is having a nap and he hears the siren!

Fast as lightning, he dashes off, swimming as fast as can. He enters the wet pink tunnel, looks behind himself and sees other sperm cells catching up to him, so he swims even faster! Furthur into the pink tunnel he swims, till he looks behind and realises he's first!

Finally, after he thinks he can't carry on any longer, he sees the round red ball.

"Yes," he cries out, "I've made it! Hi, I'm a sperm cell."

The round red ball turns to him and says: "Hi, I'm a tonsil."

The Vet

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the
next week!

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.



"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this? How much does he send you?"

The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very
successful; what does he do for a living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

The woman answered proudly,
"In Nevada... He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas and one in Reno."

A Mexican Joke

A Mexican man finds a much needed job and asks the owner to hire him. The owner says he'll hire him ONLY if he can come up with a sentence using 3 words of his choice. The words are Green, Pink and Yellow. So the Mexican thinks for a second then replies (read in a Spanish accent) the phone goes Green Green, so I Pink it up and say Yellow?


Jajaja

I wore a pink t-shirt out the other night and my girlfriend said I looked like a Flamingo..

So I had to put my foot down.

Punny wednesday

The phone rang 'green green' and so I pink up the phone.
"Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can't hear you purplerly, I'll call you black later."

We've all talked to this guy!!

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said; "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skill. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The manager said, " You must make a sentence using the words yellow, pink, and green." Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said. "Mister Manager, I am ready." The Manager said. "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green; and I pink it up, and say 'Yellow', this is Mujibar!" Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him!!

Valentine Cards

Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.

By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asked Mike.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.

What do Donald Trump, Pink Floyd, and Dale Earnhardt all have in common?

The wall.

What did the pink panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant...

I got kicked out of my aunt's funeral for singing a song...

It was the Pink Panther theme. Dead aunt, dead aunt, dead aunt dead aunt dead aunt...

Whats big, pink, long and my girlfriend hates when I put it in her mouth?

Our miscarriage.

Breast cancer awareness has pink ribbons, but what does alcoholism awareness have?

Bruises.

Princess Diana and Pink Floyd has a lot in common

Both their greatest hits was the wall

What's pink and hard when it goes in, and soft and wet when it comes out?

Bubble gum.

Some white people are so upset at black panther

Chill, You guys have pink panther

Someone said that my pink shirt was gay

I replied, "Of course, it just came out of the closet."

A Mexican gets caught by a border patrol agent..

The border patrol agent says to the Mexican,
"If you can put these 3 words in a sentence I will let you go. The words are green, pink and yellow."

The Mexican thinks for a second,
"The phone goes green green green, I pink it up and I say yellow."

What sound does a red metal rod make when it hits a white metal rod?

*PINK!*

An oldie but a goodie: What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common?

Their last biggest hit was The Wall

What's The Same About Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd?

Their last big hit was the wall

As a man i avoid wearing pink shirts or anything too feminine ..

thats why my bra and panties are always black.

A woman asks her husband what type of bird makes for the sexiest Halloween costume

"Should I be a spotted boobie?", asks the woman.
"Or what about a spread pink Flamingo?" "...Neither" replies the man. "If you really want men to like you, you need to be some sort of swallow."

I think that the president and his cabinet listened to Pink Floyd

"We don't need no education" -Devos

"All in all its just another brick in the wall" -Trump

A pink cruise ship crashed into a purple cruise ship.

You could say the passengers were marooned.

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

I saw a climate scientist eating pasta out of a pink leather bowl

He was eating carb on dyed ox hide

What did the Pink Panther write down on his itinerary?

To do
To do
To do
To do
To do doo doo doo

What do you call a pink slip served in a coffee bag?

Grounds for termination!

What's pink and retarded?

A Flamongo.

The Pink Panther made a list of things he had to do, and it was called...

To do, to do, to do to do to do, to do, to dooooooo...

Three men are being interviewed for a job at the same time

The interviewer says "Alright, you can get the job if you can come up with a sentence with the words green, pink and yellow."

First man replies "Well that's easy, my favorite colors are green, pink and yellow."

Interviewer smiles and says "You're hired!"

The second man scoffs and says "I saw a bird that was green, pink and yellow."

Interviewer says "You got it!"

Finally, the third man thinks for a while until he says "The phone rang green green, I pinked it up and said yellow!"

The end.

What's the similarities between princess Diana and Pink Floyd?

Their last big hit was the wall

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out Grandad's trousers?

Grandma on wash day.

What's pink and has seven dents in it?

Snow white's hymen

A black guy goes into a bar

A black guy walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar. The white guy he sat next to says, "Hey! No colored people allowed in this bar!"
The black guy turns to him and says, "Excuse me? When I was born, I was black.
When I'm sick, I'm black.
When I'm cold, I'm black.
When I'm hot, I'm black.
And when I die, I'll still be black!

YOU on the other hand:
When you were born, you were pink.
When you're sick, you're green.
When you're cold, you're blue.
When you're hot, you're red.
And when you die you'll be grey.

And you call ME colored?"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes