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Pine Tree Jokes

47 pine tree jokes and hilarious pine tree puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pine tree that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Pine Tree Short Jokes

Short pine tree jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pine tree humour may include short pear tree jokes also.

  1. You know you're drunk when you've got to swerve to avoid a pine tree in the middle of the road... ...only to realize it was the air freshener hanging from your rear view mirror.
  2. If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it... Do the other trees Pine?
  3. What do you call a meeting exclusively attended by pine, juniper and fir trees? A coniference.
  4. What do women and pine trees have in common? Every time you try to get on one, they ruin it by getting sappy.
  5. My 4 year old daughter looks out the window She says "what is wrong with the tree"?
    I look outside and say "nothing, it's pine".
  6. I work at a tree stand, and had to my first return today. I was worried that it might be a hassle, but it turned out pine.
  7. Why did the pine tree fall over? It had too many cones
  8. You know what kind of tree I would be? A knotty Pine
  9. What does a lawyer, a pine tree, and a hydrogen atom have in common? Absolutely nothing.
  10. What trees do skeletons like? S*pine* trees!

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Pine Tree One Liners

Which pine tree one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pine tree? I can suggest the ones about spruce tree and nature tree.

  1. People say some pine trees are better than others. I say it's a matter of a pinyon.
  2. What did the doctor say to the tree? Don't worry, everything will be pine!
  3. How do tree's like their ice cream? In a pine cone.
  4. Did you hear about the pine trees that fought in the forest? It was a pitched battle.
  5. Which tree is the most pensive? The ponder-osa pine.
  6. My pig stepped on a land mind under a tree… Now I have a porky pine.
  7. I just tripped on a tree It was a real pine in my rear
  8. Which trees miss you the most? Pine trees
  9. Did you hear about the pine tree that ate the old man? They said it was coniferous
  10. What types of trees never get Christmas presents? Knotty Pines.
  11. Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn? To spruce things up a bit.
  12. What did the evergreen tree say to it's love interest? "Oh, how I pine for you!"
  13. What do you call a dead pine tree? A nevergreen
  14. How did the pine tree get AIDS? Dirty needles.
  15. Why did the tree keep getting grounded? Because it was s knotty pine!

Pine Tree Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about pine tree you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tree planted jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pine tree pranks.

A lumberjack was being cross-examined during a m**... trial.

The defense lawyer, trying to discredit the lumberjack as a witness, asked him:
"Is it true you were working at night?  How can you be sure that it was a pine tree that fell on the victim?"
The lumberjack replied confidently: "I know what I saw."

Cow is climbing up the tree..

Crow asks her -" Cow for f sake! Why are climbing on that tree?"
Cow - I want to eat some apples.
Crow - What? That's a pine!! It doesn't grow apples!
Cow - It's ok i took some apples with me.

A Squirrel in Sitting in a Tree Eating Some Nuts When Suddenly the Tree Starts to Shake Violently.

He looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel says "hey elephant, what are you doing?"
The elephant replies "I'm climbing this tree to eat some pears!"
"You d**...," says the squirrel, "this is a pine tree... there's no pears up here."
The elephant says "I know, I brought my own!"

Why are pine trees always s**... ?

They have to many cones

How did the angel get on top of the christmas tree?

So one year, Santa was having a bad time of it. The reindeer were threatening a strike, the elves had to recall 30% of their toys due to manufacturing defects, all in all, just a frustrating time.
So Santa stood up and made a very LOUD announcement.
"I am going to my study. I'm taking my boots off, having a cup of hot cider, and am going to read a good book. I want. to. finish. my. book."
About 5 minutes later, he hears a knock on the the door to his study. In a fury, he slams down his book, stomps over to the door, flings it open, and says "And just what do YOU want?"
An angel is standing there with a pine tree. "Where would you like me to put the christmas tree?"

So... what do you call a s**... tree?

A pork-u-pine
My brain is dumb

An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator.
Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to f**....
Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell.
A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.
"Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."