Pillow Jokes

171 pillow jokes and hilarious pillow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pillow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Pillow jokes are the perfect way to add a little bit of fun to your day. Whether you’re looking for a way to brighten up your day or you’re simply looking for a good laugh, these jokes are sure to do the trick.

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Funniest Pillow Short Jokes

Short pillow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pillow humour may include short mattress jokes also.

  1. Dont challange Death to a pillow fight ...Unless you want to deal with the Reaper cushions.
  2. Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.. ..if you're not willing to deal with the reaper cushions.
  3. Why girls don't have willys Little brother came into the kitchen and declared "mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"
  4. My gf told me to stop being childish, she just wants to come in for a talk not my fault she cant remember the password to my pillow fortress
  5. I made a huge mistake challenging Death to a pillow fight… I was not prepared for the reaper cushions.
  6. NEVER start a pillow fight with Death.... Unless your ready to face the Reaper cushions!!!!!!!
  7. Don't ever challenge Death to a pillow fight If you do, you must be prepared for the Reaper cushions.
  8. Why don't girls have willys... A little boy came running into the kitchen an declared, "Mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow."
  9. I'll always remember my dad's last words on his death bed: 'Son, what are you doing with that pillow?'
  10. I would be SHOCKED if you haven't heard about these new corduroy pillows. I mean, they're making headlines all over the world.

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Pillow One Liners

Which pillow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pillow? I can suggest the ones about couch and cushions.

  1. Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight Unless you're prepared for the Reaper cushions
  2. What did they find under Michael Jackson's pillow? Billy's jeans
  3. I challenged Death to a pillow fight. I wasn't prepared for the reaper cushions.
  4. I ate an entire feather pillow last week Since then I've been feeling down in the dumps.
  5. Have you heard about the corduroy pillows? They're making head lines.
  6. THIS JUST IN!!!!! Corduroy pillows are making headlines.........
  7. What do you call two homeless people hitting eachother with cardboard? A pillow fight.
  8. Have you heard the news? Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
  9. How soft is Bill Gate's pillow? Microsoft.
  10. Never challenge death to a pillow fight unless you're ready to face the reaper cushions
  11. Have you heard of the new corduroy pillow? It's making headlines.
  12. How did the Flintstones died? Pillow fight
  13. What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard? Pillow fight!
  14. I asked my Pillow if it wanted a snack It said No, thanks I'm stuffed
  15. Have you guys heard about those new courdoroy pillows? They're making headlines

My Pillow Jokes

Here is a list of funny my pillow jokes and even better my pillow puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So I bought a memory foam pillow second-hand Got it for a good price, all was good until I laid down and it said "who the f@#k are you?"
  • What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
  • Have you heard about these new corduroy pillows? They've really been making headlines.
    -courtesy of my 8 year old niece.
  • If two Homeless people are hitting each other with a cardboard boxes... Is it a pillow fight?
  • Well, I know it's childish, but me and my girlfriend have just had a great time having a pillow fight and I won! The secret is to stuff a few bricks in there..
  • My girlfriend wanted to have a talk about how childish i am But she didn't have the secret password to my pillow fort so she couldn't get in
  • I like my pillow like..... I like my pillow, like I like my women.
    Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch.
  • I had a dream about a breath freshener left on my pillow. I ate it and it tasted like a fig. Then I woke up. Guess it was just a fig mint of my imagination.
  • I have the head of a watermelon, the arms of two French baguettes, the chest of two pillows. What am I? Banned from the supermarket.
  • What do you call two homeless guys trowing stones to each other? PILLOW FIGHT!!

Pillow Fights Jokes

Here is a list of funny pillow fights jokes and even better pillow fights puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Never challenge Death to a pillow fight Unless you're prepared to handle the reaper cushions.
  • When you have a pillow fight with a memory foam pillow, that's a pillow fight you'll never forget.
  • How did the man who invented the bed of stone die? In a pillow fight
  • Jeff just had a pillow fight with death... He faced the reaper-cushions
  • What are you looking at when you see two homeless dudes hitting each other with bits of cardboard? A pillow fight.
  • If you ever get into a pillow fight with death... You'd best be ready for the Reaper Cushions
  • I was caught cheating in our pillow fight They sent me to execushion
  • Did you hear the one about the man who lived in constant fear of pillow fights? He slept with a pillow under his pillow.
  • I saw two homeless people fighting with cardboard.. Must have been a pillow fight.
  • I tried to cheer myself up by having a pillow fight. Now I feel more down than I did before.
Pillow joke, I tried to cheer myself up by having a pillow fight.

Pillow Fight Jokes

Here is a list of funny pillow fight jokes and even better pillow fight puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a pillow fight to the death? Killing them softly.
  • I saw a pillow fight I had to throw the demonic pillow away
  • What do you call it when two homeless men start fighting with cardboard? A pillow fight.
  • You wanna throw down? That's literally what you do in a pillow fight
  • Her big bag of BS really upped the stakes in the pillow fight.
  • When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
  • Saw two bums in the street going at it with cardboxes boxes... Pillow fight!
  • I saw 2 bums fighting and hitting each other with cardboard. **PILLOW FIGHT!!!**

Pillow Cases Jokes

Here is a list of funny pillow cases jokes and even better pillow cases puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Hey did you hear about those corduroy pillow cases? They're making *headlines* everywhere!
  • Have you read about the new corduroy pillow cases? Apparently, they're making headlines all over!
  • Have you seen the hype about these cordroy pillow cases... They're making headlines everywhere
  • Have you heard about the new Corduroy pillow cases? They have made all the headlines.
  • What do bed detectives solve? Pillow cases
  • Yo momma so fat She has to wear a pillow case as a face mask
  • URGENT BREAKING NEWS... Corduroy pillow cases are making all the headlines.
  • I quit my job at the pillow case factory.. Turns out it was a sham business.
  • A husband and wife were found smothered in their bed... Detectives called it the pillow case...
  • There was recently an investigation on a pillow. It was a pillow case.

Pillow Talk Jokes

Here is a list of funny pillow talk jokes and even better pillow talk puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My girlfriend wanted to talk to me about how childish I am... ...but she couldn't because she doesn't know the password to enter my pillow fort.
  • My wife wants to talk to me about my childish behaviour. Little does she know she can't enter my pillow fort without the secret password.
  • Sometimes my Pillow Talk can get crazy. But only when it talks back.
  • I hate pillow talk when I sleep alone. It just gets me down.
  • What do they call conversations in the bedding business? Pillow talk.
  • Why was the home decor manager always interviewing people for the bedding department? She wanted pillow talk!
  • My banker friend keeps talking about how attractive he is... He keeps talking about his high interest rates.
    This made my fiancee try to smother me with a pillow.
Pillow joke, My banker friend keeps talking about how attractive he is...

Laughter Pillow Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about pillow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sleeping pills jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pillow pranks.

Three nuns were talking about their chores...

Three nuns were talking about their chores. The first nun says: "I was putting away father's laundry, when i found some pornographic magazines in his drawer!"
"So what did you do?" The second nun asks.
"I threw them away." The first nun replies.
The second nun scoffs and says she can top that. "When I was making father's bed, I found some condoms underneath his pillow!"
"So what did you do?" The first nun asks.
"I poked holes in all of them!" The second nun exclaims.
The third nun fainted.

A young mother is cleaning her son Jimmy's room...

When she stumbles upon an s**... magazine underneath his pillow. She freaks out because young Jimmy is only 8 years old. She runs to her room where she meets her husband.
"Bill, look what I found underneath Jimmy's pillow! He's only 8, what should we do??!"
The husband eyes the magazine and ponders.
"...Well we can't s**... him."

I had a dream last night...

...that I was eating a massive marshmallow, it was huge! And then when I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!

Did you hear about the pillow factory that blew up last week?

There was a big panic at first, but it's all settled down now.

I just found out that my pillow has a better s**... life than me

It gets head every night

Another jewish gag

An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and falls onto the pavement and lays there groaning in agony. A young man rushes up to help. He takes off his coat, folds it up into a pillow and as he gently places it under the old mans head he asks "Are you comfortable ?
The old man looks up into the guys kind eyes and says "Eh...I make a living"

Breaking News: A Pillow

Did you hear about the corduroy pillow on the news?
... It made headlines...

Why do Pillows work?

Cause they're white

A guy I work with was late for our meeting, so I asked what happened.

He said, My wife and I aren't talking to each other. We're giving each other the silent treatment, and I didn't want to be the first one to break the silence and lose. So I wrote a note on a piece of paper: 'Please wake me up at 7:30am.'
Well, I didn't wake up until 9:30am. Boy, was I mad that my wife didn't wake me up. Then I noticed a piece of paper on my pillow that said: 'It's 7:30am. Wake up.'

I had a dream that I ate 5lbs marshmallow...

I woke up and my pillow was gone.

Maybe I'm too old for pillow forts.

On the one hand, I feel young enough to want to build pillow forts, but on the other hand, I'm a grown up now, with my own adult responsibilities and apartment, so I don't have access to my parents' awesome sofa cushions.

Why was my other pillow jealous?

Because I like to sleep around.

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

A kid asked his mom : how did you make me ?

His mom said : one night i put little sugar under my pillow and in the morning you were by my side; The kid grabbed some sugar and put it under his pillow, he woke up in the morning and found an ant in his bed, "If you weren't my son, I swear i would've squashed you!"

What did the pillow say when it fell off the bed


My wife and I were shopping the other day, she said she needed a new pillow.

I said "That's a big decision, you should sleep on it."

So I had this dream of eating a large marshmallow

The scary part was when I woke up I found my pillow missing.
*Took this off an essay example thing we were given in English, thought it'd be pretty funny to post on here

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow

Mines made of mammary foam

A pillow warmer is a s**... idea…

Use your head!

I was telling my friend about a strange dream I had

"I dreampt that I ate a huge marshmallow, and when I woke up-my pillow was gone!"

Last night I dreamed I was eating a pillow

When I woke up, my 10 pound marshmallow was gone.

Eat Marshmallow and Digest a Pillow

I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Last night I dreamed I ate a giant marshmallow.

When I woke up, my pillow was missing.

My wife was having trouble breathing last night.

I think I wasn't holding the pillow down tight enough.

My dog is always so excited when I wake up each morning...

It means it is her turn to use my pillow.

I bought what was supposed to be the best pillow cover ever made

it was a sham.

When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control.

Now it's memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.

I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.

When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...

I have been having terrible dreams lately. Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow.

When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

A jewish guy gets knocked over by a car...

A passer by runs over to check on him. He bundles up his coat into a pillow and places it under his head "Are you comfortable?" the stranger asks. He replies "Ach, I make a living."

My girlfriend got into a huge argument with me about a pillow and demanded that I reconsider my stance.

I told her that I'd sleep on it.

A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"

"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."

My wife asked me to buy a king sized pillow at Target.

After a fruitless search, I replied, "As a trans madam once said to a prospective client, 'Sorry, they're all standard queens.'"

(true story, bro)

I was on my bed, relaxing and eating popcorn, when I noticed my pillow was missing it's pillowcase.

I started looking for it in the darkness of my room(I still had a little bit of light). I saw a blanket-ish shadow in my peripheral vision. I reached for it, thinking it was the pillowcase. However, after pressing down on it and hearing the loud, crinkly noise of a near-empty bag of popcorn, I soon realized that was...
...not the case.

Once, at an all boys summer camp, I dreamed I ate a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up my pillow was gone. But that's not what freaked me out...

...the night before that I dreamed I was in a hotdog eating contest.

Customer: I'm just not sure I really want to buy this pillow.

Pillow salesman: Well why don't you sleep on it.

What do you call a cushion with transcendentalist views?

A Thoreau pillow.

Walt Disney notices a sharp pain in his knee.

He starts rubbing it, icing it, elevating it on a pillow. But over the following days it only grows worse. He visits his doctor and reports this pain.
Which knee is hurting you, Walt?
The famous film producer points to his left knee.

Asked my mum what she'd like for her birthday.

I wanna Dyson. She said excitedly.
So that's why is smothered her with a pillow, your honour

Me: *flips pillow to the cold side*

Everyone else at the f**...- :0

I had a dream that I was eating marshmallows...

...and when I woke up, I discovered I'd chewed my pillow to bits. I'm feeling okay, all things considered. Just a little down in the mouth.

There were three brothers Feather, Pillow and Brick.

One day Feather went to his mother and asked:
-Mom, why is my name Feather?
-Because when you were born and we brought you home from the hospital a feather fell on your head.
-she replied.
Next day Pillo asked the same question.
-Mom, why is my name Pillow?
-Because when you were born and we brought you home from the hospital a pillow fell on your head.
The third day Brick went up to her mom and goes:
-The Earth is flat!

These long quarantines have been so difficult for many marriages.

Luckily for me I have an amazing wife. Just last night I woke up to her firmly pressing a pillow against my face to protect me from Covid-19.

I accedentally dropped my pillow on the floor.

I think it has a concushion.

Here's a joke for English and irish

So 3 people go to the middle East, a German a English and a irish. They get captured and sent to a Prince, the Prince gives them each one wish and 20 whips to the back. The German goes first and asks for a pillow on his back, he gets the pillow and the whips but it doesn't work. Next is the English he asks for two pillows and again it shreds throgh them. Next is the Irish, the prince's wife grants him one more since she likes his people. The Irish man first asks for 100 whips, and for the English guy to be strapped to his back.

I used to punch my memory foam pillow whenever I got mad.

Eventually it learned my moves.

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

Look out pillow!

To the person who stole my pillow

I will not rest until I find you!

Why does the Norwegians put sugar on their pillow?

To have sweet dreams!

Pillow joke, Why does the Norwegians put sugar on their pillow?

jokes about pillow