The Best 53 Pill Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pill jokes. There are some pill asprin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pill viagra pills puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Pill Jokes and Puns

Why do blondes prefer the pill instead the condom?

Because it's waaay easier to swallow

TIL there is a new type of morning-after pill, and it's
for men!

It changes blood type.

Heard on the radio and could not resist repeating...

"My ex-girlfriend never asked me use a condom."

"Because she was on the pill."

"Ambien."

Pill joke, Heard on the radio and could not resist repeating...

Joke directed insult

A woman walks into the doctors office. She says she wants a child, but doesnt want to have sex. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of child she wants. The woman said she wanted a smart and handsome kid. The doctor then hands her a blue pill.

A few months later, the woman comes back and says she has had a miscarriage but still wants a child. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of kid she wants. The woman said she will have a regular kid this time. The doctor then hands her a red pill.

Even more months later, the woman returns and says shes had a miscarriage but still wants a kid. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of kid she will want. She says since the other ones did not work out she will have a ugly, stupid kid. The doctor says ok and hands her a pill.

*At this point the joke teller asks the victim what color they think the pill is.

*The response will most likely be "I don't know, what?"

*The joke teller then says "I don't know, try asking your mother."

Immaturity at its best.

The Pill... (Semi-NSFW)

It's the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid getting pregnant.


There's now a morning after pill for guys.

It changes your blood type.

Another Jack and Jill joke

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, pulled down his fly and asked Jill "Do ya wanna?"
Jill said "Yes" Took off her dress and they had a little fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

Pill joke, Another Jack and Jill joke

Have you heard about the new male contraceptive pill?

You put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp.

What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids.

A team of scientists have invented a pill for sufferers of Alzheimer's to take daily.

They didn't think that through did they?

They say rejection is a hard pill to swallow...

But it's just practice for the 60 pain killers later.

You can explore pill dose reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pill lozenge dad jokes. There are also pill puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


an old lady goes to the doctor complaining she is farting all the time

But at least they are silent and without any smell.

he gives her a pill and tell her to come back in a week.

after a week she returns and tells him "i still fart a lot but now they smell awful!!"

the doctor tells her "great... now that we fixed your smelling issue, lets address your bad hearing"

i am so so sorry.......

The New Men's Birth Control Pill

It's about the size of a marble.

You put it into your shoe.

It makes you limp.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?

Doughnuts

Did you hear about the new pill that's supposed to turn lesbian women straight?

It's called tricoxagain.

I bought some shoes from my pill dealer on Friday.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all weekend.

Pill joke, I bought some shoes from my pill dealer on Friday.

Why did the old man put jelly beans in his pill organizer?

He had dementia.

What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby's house?

Netflix and pill

how do you know when a prescription is being written for bulimia?

when the directions for use say take one pill twice a day


I heard they're testing a new pill for treating erectile dysfunction

It's called coxaflopyn.

Jack and Jill went up a hill

Jack and Jill went up a hill;
 

to have a bit of fun.
 

But stupid Jill forgot the pill;
 

and now they have a son.

What did the pillow say when it fell off the bed

Sheet

I like my pillow like.....

I like my pillow, like I like my women.

Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch.

The Pillsbury Doughboy just passed away.

His funeral service will take place at 3:50 and it will take 15-18 minutes.

I just created a memory loss pill!

At least, I think I did...

I learned a few things today.

1. I'm gonna be a dad!
2. I'm gonna be an uncle!
3. My sisters not on the pill.

Why are pills white?

Because they work!

When you have a pillow fight with a memory foam pillow,

that's a pillow fight you'll never forget.

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."

2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2017 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

Martin Shkreli's guilty verdict

Must be a tough pill for him to swallow.

Don't ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.

But if you do, you will sleep like a baby.

I ate a pill that would made me immortal today

I accidently choked to death while swallowing it

I like to abuse drugs.

Nothing more satisfying than tying up the bottle, smacking it around a bit, and calling it a very naughty pill.

I heard there's this new pill that cures addiction.

Hmm, I wonder what two of them will do...

On the back of a pack of condoms it said: "Keep away from children."

So now I have to get her the morning after pill.

I was filling my car with leaded gasoline wearing some comfortable aesbestos boots. As I popped a thalidomide pill into my mouth I thought...

"A government ban on assault weapons would never work..."

headache

Husband: "Here's a pill for your headache."
Wife: "But I don't have a headache."
Husband: "Gotcha!"

What do you get when you mix LSD and a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids

Sometimes my girlfriend takes her sleeping pill, passes out and initiates sex.

We call it the reverse Cosby.

A scientist runs into an AA meeting...

...and exclaims "we did it! We found a medical cure for alcoholism! All you have to do is take this one pill daily and you are cured."

Slowly a hand raises in the back and a man says "what happens if you take two?"

What's the medical term for a chill pill?

A relaxative

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

Use contraceptives kids.

My co-worker takes a small blue pill with his coffee every day at 8am

He's likes to work hard in the mornings

Finished putting a load in the dishwasher when I thought to myself..

She's on the pill right?

3 reasons why my parents are bad at hide and seek.

1. They always hide in their bedroom.
2. They make too much noise.
3. my dad takes a pill that makes him think he is invisible and proceeds to take off his clothes

I accidentally took my birth control pill twice yesterday

and when I woke up this morning, one of my kids was gone.

Sometimes my Pillow Talk can get crazy.

But only when it talks back.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?

Doughnuts!! I'll see myself out.

If Elon musk and Bill gates made an enlargement pill, then

It would be called Elongate

A man in California spent 3 months, 2 weeks, 5 days and 19 hours, sculpting and carving the biggest replica Aspirin tablet for the Guinness Book of World Records.... only to find out there was still one bigger and his was second place.

That must have been a hard pill to swallow.

A man goes to the Doctor

and tells him he's been having terrible gas, but his farts don't smell and they are always silent, so nobody seems to notice.
The Doctor prescribes him a pill and asks tells him to come back in a week.
The man returns a week later and the Doctor asks if there had been any change in his condition.
Yes! The man says. I still have terrible gas, but now my farts smell horrible!!
Great! Says the Doctor. Now that we have your sinuses cleared up, let's work on your hearing!

A wife waits outside the doctors office while her husband is in there with him. After a short time, he comes out, crying....

Wife - "Honey, what's wrong?"

Husband - "The doc told me I have to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life!"

Wife - "Well, that's not so bad, I thought it was something much worse!"

Husband - "He only gave me three of them...."

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work.

His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.

So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.

Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.

"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"

"That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pill medication jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pill cyanide piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes