Pile Jokes
121 pile jokes and hilarious pile puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pile that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a few laughs? Check out this article for a pile of hilarious jokes about pile cream, pile drivers, rubble, trash, and unloading. These jokes are sure to put a smile on your face!
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Funniest Pile Short Jokes
Short pile jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pile humour may include short pond jokes also.
- I was sitting at the bar arranging peanuts into piles of 1, 3, 5 and 7. The bartender asked me if I was trying to set up some odd joke. I told him No, but I would have done that in my prime.
- I just got fired from the grocery store for being too violent... ...all I did was put out a sign that said, "take lettuce from top of pile or heads will roll!"
- If there was one thing I had learned from Tetris, Is that my mistakes pile up until the point I cant do anything about them anymore
- I recently got crushed by a pile of books, I recently got crushed by a pile of books, but I suppose I have only my shelf to blame.
- What do you call a man under a pile of leaves? - Russell. What do you call a man under a pile of leaves for thousands of years? Pete.
- What do you call that day when you finally do all the chores and work you've let pile up? Tomorrow
- Why were Gandhi's remains compressed to make piles of 50 rupee coins? he said "be the change you wish to see in the world".
- I hate when women say they're lonely when I'm here... It's like saying you're hungry when there's a pile of cold spaghetti on the floor outside.
- Two Jewish guys walk into a bar with a funny looking pile of gold. The bartender asks, "What is this, a racist joke?"
One of the jewish guys say, "No, this is comedy gold!" - I told Sean Connery about how I was crushed by a pile of books. He said 'you've only got your shelf to blame'.
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Pile One Liners
Which pile one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pile? I can suggest the ones about pong and pitch.
- A man died today when a pile of books fell on him.!!! He only had his shelf to blame.,,,,
- What do you call a man having a seizure in a pile of leaves? Russell.
- what do you call a pile of kittens? a meowntain
- My friend got crushed by a pile of books. He's only got his shelf to blame.
- Man crushed by pile of old books His wife said he only had his shelf to blame
- What do you call a pile of cats? a Meowtain
- Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? 200 people died.
- What Do You Call an Epileptic in a Pile of Leaves? Russell
- What did a pile of sand say to another in sahara Long time no sea
- What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad.
- What do you call a big pile of cats? A Meow-ntain!
- I once got in a fight with a pile of dirt... The pile of dirt won by a landslide.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOWntain!
Thank you. - Your mom is like a pile of bricks. Constantly getting laid by Mexicans.
- What do you call a pile of hamsters in a river? Hamster-dam.
Pile Cream Jokes
Here is a list of funny pile cream jokes and even better pile cream puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So my piles have returned but it's ok... I have back-up cream.
Pile Driver Jokes
Here is a list of funny pile driver jokes and even better pile driver puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What would you call a Street Fighter player who can bust out the Spinning Pile Driver really fast? SPD Gonzales.
Pile Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about pile you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trap jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pile pranks.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a Lamborghini?
One of them I don't have in my garage.
Lone Survivor
The rescue team finds the crashed airplane. The lone survivor is chewing on a bone,with a huge pile of bones next to him. The rescuers are shocked. He says "You can't judge me for this, I had to survive." The rescue leader says "But, Christ, man ... your plane went down two days ago!"
When I'm having s**... with a woman I prefer to do it atop a pile of fermented apples…
I just love the feeling of being in cider.
Dark Jokes?
What's worse than 18 dead babies in a bucket? 1 baby in 18 different buckets.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my Garage.
Two guys were out on a lake ice fishing
One looks at the other and sees that he's got a pile of fish, and asks him,
"hey buddy, how'd you catch so many fish and I'm sitting here with nothing?"
"Eep or orms orm" the man grumbled
"What?"
"Eep or orms orm!"
"Buddy, i got no clue what you're saying!"
The man spat in exasperation and said, "Keep your worms warm!"
Quadriplegic jokes I've gathered from over the years.
What do you call a quadriplegic that hangs on your wall?
Art.
What do you call a quadriplegic that lays on your porch?
Matt.
What do you call a quadriplegic that is in a hole?
Doug.
What do you call a quadriplegic in a ditch?
Phil.
What do you call a quadriplegic doing water ski jumps?
Skip.
What do you call a quadriplegic floating in the water?
Bob.
What do you call a quadriplegic playing in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
What do you call a quadriplegic inside of your mail box?
Bill.
What do you call a pile of frog dung?
Toad stools
A joke for fall.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
An Irishman, Russian and the Blonde...
An Irishman, Russian and a Blonde come across a magical slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Russian amazed slides down screaming "v**...!", and lands into bottles of v**... at the bottom. The Blonde takes her turn, and without hesitation shouts "WEEEE!" as she slides down.
A purple man has a purple wife.
They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperation and cries, "Oh no! We've been marooned!"
Two zombies were playing a game of poker
The first one threw his hand in the pile and the other laughed his head off.
This morning some bloke drove up to my house in a huge lorry and dumped off a massive pile of lego blocks.
I'm so furious I don't know what to make of it.
What do you call a pile of cats?
A MEOWTAIN.
Told this one at work after two weeks straight of 12+ hours days and laughed so hard I got sent home for the rest of the day to get sleep. To this day, every time I tell it I start giggling uncontrollably... Yep.
A commissar goes to a collective farm...
... And hails a farmer to ask about how his village's farms are doing.
The farmer says "Oh Comrade Commissar, if we stacked all the potatoes in a pile, it would reach the foot of God!"
The commissar raises an eyebrow and says "Comrade farmer, we live in the USSR. There is no god."
The farmer replied: "That's okay, there are no potatoes either."
Some idiot at my work opened up every cabinet in our records department, pulled out all the folders, put them on a pile on the floor, then s**... all over it.
Now I have to spend tomorrow refiling the aisles of files he defiled in a pile on the tile.
What did the hiker say when he fell in a pile of moss?
"I'm not lichen this!'
If you were on top of a pile of gay guys...
would you get off?
Today, my wife found a pair of her sister's p**... in our room.
They were in my laundry pile, next to my boxers.
Now she's mad, because I told her it was only a brief affair.
A father puts a gold watch in one son's stocking and a pile of manure in the other son's...
The first son brings the watch to his father and with a worried face says, "dad I'm not sure what to do with this watch, it's fragile, and small, and I don't really wear watches. I don't like it."
The father wasn't surprised by his son's reaction because he typically has a poor perspective on things.
Minutes later, the second son, who had a stocking full of manure, comes running to his father with excitement and says, "Dad! I think Santa brought me a pony! Now I just have to go find it!"
It's all about perspective.
There were two old men sitting on a park bench
...passing the day away talking.
One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?"
The second old guy replied, "I think she may be dead!"
"What do you mean you THINK she is dead?" asked the first man.
"Well..." explained the second man, "the s**... is the same but the dishes are starting to pile up."
The HR takes the top 20 application folders from the pile and throw it in the trash.
Those people have bad luck. We don't want people with bad luck.
Joe was chopping wood with his Dad
Joe: Dad, I think I want to be a pilot!
Dad: That's great, start over there. You can grab that wood and pile it.
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The s**... is the same but the dishes pile up.
What do you call a pile of blessed black waist sashes?
A Benedictine Cumberbatch.
At snack time at a Catholic elementary school there was a tray of apples. A note beside them read "Take only ONE. God is watching." At the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note,
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
When employing people, gather all the CVs together and randomly split them into two piles.
Take one pile and throw it in the bin. This stops you employing anyone unlucky.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
That same guy in your pool? Bob
Same guy in your hot tub? Stew
Sitting under your car that's missing a wheel? Jack
Same guy on your porch? Matt
Same guy getting hit with a baseball bat? Homer
Same guy lying in a pile of leaves? Russel
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen
Chinese girl with the same condition? Irene.
God is watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples
I think my wife died...
I mean, the s**... is the same, but the dishes are starting to pile up.
I recently got crushed by a pile of books
I only have myshelf to blame...
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde visit a magical bridge.
The sign reads "Magical bridge: Jump off the bridge and shout out what you want to land in and so it shall be."
The brunette goes first, she climbs on the rail, jumps off and yells "Pillows!" She lands safe and sound in a pile of pillows.
The redhead jumps next. " Hundred dollar bills!" She yells and lands in a huge pile of money.
The blonde goes last. She climbs up, jumps off and gets scared. She yells "Oh shiiiiiiiit!"
What do you call a gigantic pile of kittens?
A meown-tain
My wife screeched at me, "What's this pile of clothes doing on the floor!?"
I whispered, "It's a dead Jedi!"
So I was talking to an HR manager last night and he told me "Whenever I get a pile of resumes, I take the first five and toss 'em into the trash."
"Why?" I asked.
" 'Cause I don't need people who have no luck."
We had a job opening with 60 applicants. I threw the top half of the pile of resumes away without looking at them. My colleague asked why I did that.
I replied, "I do not want unlucky people working for me."
The armed grenade was under a pile of chick peas, tahini and olive oil.
Captain Smith threw himself on top of it to save his men from the inevitable e**....
His medal for bravery was awarded post-hummusly
A man and a pile of mud begin to race...
The mud won by a landslide.
Fell into a pile of my wife's bra's and couldn't get out.
It was a booby trap.
Hello, have one of you guys lost a pile of cash with a rubber band around it?
Because I got the rubberband
A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins
A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins.
They start arguing what they should take and what they should give to God.
The Christian draws a circle and says, We throw the coins into he air, and whatever lands in the circle, we keep.
The Muslim says, No no no. Whatever lands outside the circle we keep.
The Jew says, How about we throw it in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps, and whatever falls to the ground we keep.
Did you know that Jeffrey d**... was a s**......
They found a pile of butts behind his couch.
What does a pile of bricks and a fat chick have in common?
They both probably gonna get laid by some Mexican
Did you hear about the guy who had s**... with his sister in a pile of lemon peels?
It was in zest
Did you hear that there's a table over there with a pile of free c**... one it?
You better get there quick. It looks like people are already starting to form a line
Saw a guy betting anyone $50 to see if he could fire a bullet into a pile of cow dung 30 yards away.
I thought to myself, that's kind of a crapshoot.
Dirty dead baby jokes?
My dad told me some pretty bad ones, so I guess let's collectively get them out there
Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after s**....
Today my 10 year old daughter referred to the pile of dirty laundry that my wife is doing as.
Mount Wash More.
I have just been crushed by a huge pile of books
I've only my shelf to blame.
Good pickup line.
Two male flies are buzzing around the farmyard when they spot a female fly landing on a fresh pile of cow dung.
The one fly says, "Wow, she is cute! I'm going to try to talk to her, wish me luck."
He swoops down, lands right next to her and says, "Excuse me Miss, is this stool taken?"
How do you know when your wife is dead?
The s**... is the same but the dishes pile up.
Days ago, i learned how to crack neck. The sound and feeling are really satisfying.
Although the bodies are starting to pile up.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who is buried in a pile of leaves?
Russel
A guy goes into a grocery store.
He sees a pile of potatoes, and asks the store keeper:
"What are those?"
"Those are potatoes"
"Can I have a kilo of potatoes individually wrapped?"
The store keeper shakes his head and start wrapping potatoes.
"What are those?"
"Those are plums..."
"Can I have a kilogram of plums all individually wrapped?"
The store keeper cusses under his breath and starts packing plums.
"... and what are those?!
"Those are poppy seeds and they are NOT for sale!"
How much does a pile of bones weigh?
It must weigh a skele-ton!
Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn...
Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn when it catches on fire. The only way down is to jump into the manure pile.
The first idiot says, I'll jump first and tell you how deep it is. He jumps, and a few seconds later the second idiot hears, it's only ankle deep!
The second idiot jumps and says, What on earth? I'm up to my neck!
And the first idiot says, Well you jumped feet first.
The b**... says "I didn't build that, Your Honor."
The judge points at the picture of the pile of logs in the river and says "we have damming evidence against you"
I'll see myself out
I was going out with a girl, and she told me I was shy and moving too slow. I said...
"Meet me by the rock pile tonight. I'll be a little bolder."
A guy was storing all the f**... hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
I played hide seek as a kid and the ultimate winner hid so good we never found him. Years later they found him under a pile of dirt
Turns out He won by a landslide
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large tray of hot dogs. The nun posted a sign on the hot dog tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the hot dogs."
Why is the rooster France's national emblem?
It's the only bird that still sings when it's standing on a s**... pile.
Happy Bastille Day!
