Piece Paper Jokes

126 piece paper jokes and hilarious piece paper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about piece paper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Piece Paper Short Jokes

Short piece paper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The piece paper humour may include short sheet paper jokes also.

  1. I wrote the names of everyone I've unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint. Now he's high on my list of people I never want to see again.
  2. I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.
  3. A man arrived to a Duel with only a pen and a piece of paper He proceeded to draw his weapon
  4. I wrote down the names of everyone I dislike on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint. He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
  5. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
  6. My dad has a piece of paper where he keeps a list of all his mistakes. He calls it my birth certificate.
  7. I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper, and a very strange look on his face yesterday I think he may be plotting something.
  8. It's not often people compliment my parking.... but the other day, I came back from work and saw a piece of paper on may car that said "Parking Fine". That was nice of them!
  9. I wrote down my bucket list on a piece of paper, and my crush decided to use it to roll up her joint. She is now high on the list of things I want to do before I die.
  10. What did the pencil say to the suspicious piece of paper? I dot my i's on you!
    -Heard this from an 85 year old lady in a nursing facility. The mental image of this joke is quite funny!

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Piece Paper One Liners

Which piece paper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with piece paper? I can suggest the ones about tissue paper and wrapping paper.

  1. how do frogs share a piece of paper? They rippit
  2. What do you call a piece of paper that can sing A rapper
  3. No matter how far you manage to throw a piece of paper It is still stationery.
  4. A good pun is like a piece of paper. Tearable.
  5. I caught someone trying to steal my piece of paper. I almost lost my sheet.
  6. I've got a 3D printer But it only prints pieces of paper.
  7. What do you call ripped paper? A piece of sheet.
  8. What did the piece of paper say when it got ripped in half? This is terrible.
  9. What do you call a piece of paper that doesn't move? Stationary stationery.
  10. I tried to design a piece of paper and my teacher was impressed. He gave me an A4 effort.
  11. How do you keep a blonde busy? Put "flip" on both sides of a piece of paper
  12. My fortune cookie was spot on. It said, You will soon let go of a small piece of paper.
  13. Why were all the girls looking at the piece of paper? Because it was ripped.
  14. If the world isn't flat how come you can draw it on a piece of paper??!!
  15. Did you know that no matter how much you move a piece of paper, It remains stationary...

Humorous Piece Paper Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about piece paper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paper folding jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make piece paper pranks.

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
A: Give her a piece of paper that has "Please turn over" written on both sides.

How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.

A young officer is working late at the Pentagon one evening.

As he comes out of his office about 8 P.M.
he sees the General standing by the classified document shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand.
“Do you know how to work this thing?” the General asks.
“My secretary’s gone home and I don’t know how to run it.”
“Yes, sir,” says the young officer, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the General, and feeds it in.
“Now,” says the General, “I just need one copy…”

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks.

She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock.
"Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."

A man was drinking at a bar and the bartender came over to tell him he had a visitor waiting for him outside the bar.
He had just bought another large beer and he didn"t want anyone to drink it.
So, he wrote a little sign on a piece of paper and left it by his beer that said: "I spit in my beer."
When he returned to his bar stool there was another note beside his beer: "I spit in your beer too!"

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.

After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"

Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and j**... Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting.
During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting.
Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.”
So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie.
After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him.
Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.”
The others nod and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping.
He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.”
So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air.
When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.”
The others nod, and the meeting continues.
Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when j**... emits a thunderous f**....
He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."

Yo mamma so s**... she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."

A manufacturing plant was in full swing one day.

The company's massive machine was humming along, taking in the raw materials at one end and churning out the finished product at the other.
All of a sudden, the machine stopped and ground to a halt.
Workers climbed all over it like ants to get it started again.
The plant's manager stormed out of his office to find out why his multi-million- dollar machine wasn't making him any money.
He listened to his people saying they couldn't figure it out, and he told them to call a technician. 
Soon a tech arrived, and the manager frantically explained to him that he needed his machine back as soon as possible.
The technician listened patiently, took one look at the massive hulk of motionless metal, and immediately walked over to a small panel, opening a tiny door inside to see a screw.
The technician took a screwdriver and turned the screw one-quarter turn to the right, and the machine suddenly came back to life as if nothing was wrong.
The manager hurried over to thank the technician, shook his hand, and asked what he owed him for saving his company. 
The technician answered, "$100,000.00".
The manager looked at him and said, "You were here less than two minutes and just turned one screw. How can you charge so much? Give me an itemised bill." 
The technician calmly wrote out on a piece of paper: 
-Turning of one screw: $1.00. 
-Knowing which screw to turn: $99,999.00.

Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.

A woman stopped by our customer-service desk and asked me for a copy of the book that has Jesus in it.
After much back-and-forth, I determined that she wanted the Bible.
After searching for a particular book on dinosaurs in the science section without luck, a customer looked to me for help.
She showed me a piece of paper with the title written on it: Thesaurus.

An old man was accounting manager in a company.

Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back.
After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died.
After his f**..., his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"

"That's not it."

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."

Cynical Meanings

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either."
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

The husband and the horse.

The husband seated, reading his newspaper when his wife, furious, came from the kitchen and hits him in the head with a skillet .
Startled, he gets up and asks:
- Why did you do that? She responds: - I found this is the piece of paper in your pants with Mary's name and number. - Honey, remember the day I went to the horse racing? Yeah ... Mary was the horse I bet on, and the number was how much they were paying for the bet. The woman then left asking for apologies...
Days later, there he was again seated when he receives a new punch, this time with a pressure cooker.
Even more surprised (and dizzy), he asks: - What happened now, my love? She replies: - Your horse just called ...

Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was now at hospital, near death.

The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, and then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the f**..., as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.
He said, You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all. He opened the note, and read out loud, Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube?

I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper.

But there was no plot.

How do you keep a blonde busy for a few hours?

Give them a piece of paper with P.T.O on both sides


One day, as a husband was reading the Sunday paper, his wife smacked him upside the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" cried the husband.
"I was doing your laundry when I found a piece of paper with the name of Marylou on it!" screamed the wife. "Who is she? Are you cheating on me?"
"Honey don't worry. Remember when I went to the horse race three weeks ago with my friends? Marylou was the name of the horse I was betting on.
Satisfied, the wife continued doing the laundry. A few hours later, the wife smacked the husband with a frying pan again.
"What was that for?" said the annoyed husband.
"Your horse called."

What did the piece of paper say about being ripped in half?

It was tearable.

Let the Trucker Sleep

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab.
"Can you tell me the time, please?" asks a jogger.
"Yeah, it's 4:30," answers the trucker. He falls asleep again, but he is awoken again by another jogger who wants to know the time.
"It's 4:40!" yells the trucker. Deciding to really try to sleep a little, he writes on a piece of paper: I DON'T KNOW THE TIME. He sticks the paper in his windshield.
But he is awoken again. 'It's 5:25," says another jogger.

Philosopher's game

A philosopher is standing behind a desk with 3 red cups. As someone approaches it, he gets from his pocket a small piece of paper with just a small dot printed, hides it under one of the cups and shows that the other ones are empty. Then he shuffles the cups very fast and ask What's the point?

Superstitious captain

There was a very superstitious captain that kept a locked box in his quarters which he would open daily to examine. Before any battle he would do the same. None of his men knew what was in the box but they had never come close to losing a battle, so they knew it must be powerful.
On one occasion the captain approached his first mate and told him, "I don't believe I'll survive the next battle;take the key to my lockbox and look inside once you take over as captain."
The first mate does so and sure enough the very first cannonball hiys yhe captain directly in the chest. After the battle is ome the first mate (now captain) goes into his quarters and opens the box. Inside he finds only a piece of paper on which is written:
Left: port.
Right: starboard

Everything can be reduced to a f**... joke ...

Even physics:
We know that everything on earth falls at the same rate of acceleration, 32 feet per second per second. The difference comes down to mass and wind resistance, as shown by a flat piece of paper and one balled up. This means that the determining factor in your total decent is how much wind you break!

"The FISH joke"

A lazy guy went fishing but forgot the worms. So instead, he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on it; "I am a delicious worm!", attached it the hook and threw it in the water .. After 3 hours of waiting, he finally felt a drag.. so he quickly pulled the hook out of the water, and found a different piece of paper that says: ".. And I am a delicious fish ;)"

A creative writing teacher is having a conference with one of his students about his last piece and the grade he gave the student.

The student asked "Why did you give me an F?" The teacher responds "Have you ever heard that if you place a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters an infinite amount of time, they'll eventually write the works of Shakespeare?" He holds up the paper and says "3 monkeys, 10 minutes."

A guy I work with was late for our meeting, so I asked what happened.

He said, My wife and I aren't talking to each other. We're giving each other the silent treatment, and I didn't want to be the first one to break the silence and lose. So I wrote a note on a piece of paper: 'Please wake me up at 7:30am.'
Well, I didn't wake up until 9:30am. Boy, was I mad that my wife didn't wake me up. Then I noticed a piece of paper on my pillow that said: 'It's 7:30am. Wake up.'

I always wanted to tell jokes...

I always wanted to tell jokes, but I had pretty severe social anxiety. So, I wrote the jokes down on pieces of paper and taped the paper to frisbees. Then I threw the frisbees at passers by so they could read my jokes.
The trouble was, most of them flew right over their heads.

I would write all my puns on a piece of paper.

But I'm afraid they would be tear-able.

An elderly couple see a doctor about how to deal with their short term memory loss.

The doctor says to help them remember certain things they should write it down on a piece of paper. One night the couple is watching TV, when the husband starts walking to the kitchen. His wife asks "Can you bring me some strawberries?"
"Aren't you going to write it down so you don't forget?"
"No no. It's fine."
"Well I also want some whip cream. You should write it down so you'll remember."
"Don't worry. I've got it."
"I also want some chocolate syrup on top. You *really* should write it down, dear."
"I got it. Strawberries, whip cream, and chocolate syrup."
The wife sighs as her husband disappears into the kitchen.
After 15 minutes the husband finally comes back carrying a plate of eggs, bacon, and sausage. The wife looks up at him and asks "Where's my toast?"

It was early morning at the military base...

... and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:
No answer.
No answer was heard again.
"SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent.
At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.

Poor Tommy

The teacher asked her class to write down on a piece of paper the type of work their daddies did.
The children, very excitedly, scribbled their answers
One by one, the teacher asked each child to stand and describe the job.

There was much laughter and screaming, apart from, that is little Tommy.
"Tommy, why do you look so sad?" asked the teacher.
Tommy slowly rose to his feet, and replied: "my dads a stripper in a gay bar".
The other children remained silent as Tommy continued:
"Sometimes, he doesn't come home, and my mummy sits crying, sometimes he sells his body for other mens pleasure."
There were gasps around the classroom, the teacher acted quickly and dismissed the children, telling them to go outside and play.
She then walked up to Tommy, put her arm around him, and asked "is that all true Tommy?
"No not at all miss. He really plays rugby for England, but i was too embarrassed to say"

On November 11th 1918, a peace of people was made thinner than a piece of paper.

From my nine year old...

He walked up to me tore a piece of paper and walked away, I look at the paper it says "my puns" I ask what that was about, he says " I know... My puns are tear-able"... Thats my boy

Silent Treatment [Long]

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am".
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said...
It is 5:00am, wake up.

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

At the men's bathroom of the local college...

... above the toilet paper dispenser was a piece of graffiti:
"Liberal Arts Degrees. Take One."

Many people say a diploma is just a piece of paper. I as an educated person beg to differ

It's a piece of cardboard.

What do you call a piece of paper with n**... on it?

A flashcard

My six year old daughter was watching me shave this morning..

"Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired.
"Because mommy likes me with nice smooth skin." I explained.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No, not at all." I said. "Unless I cut myself."
"And then do you put a Band Aid on?" She asked.
"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts." I told her.
"But don't they just fall off?"
"No, sweetheart." I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on."

I'm not very good with baking... if I want a cake I have to get a piece of paper and a pencil so I can trace leches.

The interviewer asked me, "What's your biggest strength?"

I took a piece of paper out of my pocket and read from it, "My biggest strength is that I'm always prepared."

The Physics department in a university submits a request for an expensive piece of equipment

The university president is not pleased. "You people in the Physics Department always ask for money. You always need costly technologies. Why can't you be more like the Mathematics department? All they need is paper, pens, and trash cans. Or even better, like the Philosophy department, they need only paper and pens."

I ordered a book on the internet called "A beginner's guide to Origami".

When it arrived it was a scrunched up piece of paper.

Why was the piece of paper sad on graduation day?

College Ruled.

Never assume that your boss knows what he is doing.

A young engineer was leaving the office at 5:45 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. Listen, said the CEO, This is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?
Certainly, said the young engineer. He turned on the machine, inserted the paper and pushed the start button.
Excellent,excellent! said the CEO as the paper disappeared inside the machine. I just need one copy; can you do that for me?

What did the Frat boy say when the m**... handed him a piece of paper?

Bro sure.

A young executive is leaving the office late one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," says the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?"
"Sure," the young executive says.
He turns the machine on, inserts the paper, and presses the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" says the CEO as his paper disappears inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

A rock and some scissors saw a piece of paper

"What's that?" Asked the scissors.
"Beats me" said the rock.

funny husband and wife playing silent .......

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up.

I walked into a fancy dress shop and said to the woman, "I'm going to a party tonight, and I want to go as an A4 piece of paper."

She gave me a blank look.

Four high school kids who carpooled together decided to skip school and spend the day fishing.

The next day they told the teacher that they had had a flat tire, and couldn't make it to class.
Much to their relief, she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a pop quiz yesterday, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Once they were seated and ready, she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?" 

Sitting at a table

Wife: Writes a number on a piece of paper and slides it across.
Me: Crosses out and writes a new number.
#thermostat negotiations

A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.

The teacher says, "What's this?"
The kid says, "A picture of a cow eating grass."
The teacher asks, "Where's the grass?"
The kid says, "The cow ate it all."
"Ok, then where's the cow?"
"It left because there was no more grass."

I was gonna go to a fancy dress party as a piece of A4 paper but someone ruined my outfit.

Now I'm a bit torn.

A catholic priest is praying

...I pray you Saint Anne...
Suddenly the devil appears: Oh, it's you again. For Pete's sake stop calling me if you don't mean it and at least pronounce my name right.
The priest shouts: Go away satan.
St. Anne appears: You want me to leave you? Gees, at least you could pronounce my name right.
The priest takes a piece of paper and writes using the sacramental wine:
I command you Satan, leave my church.
Dyslexic Santa appears:
Stop wasting the good wine! And what the heck you have against me?
(I modified the joke I wrote here earlier, I hope you like it)

A stressed Referee goes to a psychologist

He breaks down in front of the doctor, complaining about feeling depressed, and loathed, always disappointing somebody no matter what he does. The doctor is highly sympathetic, and offers comfort - "It must be so hard, I'm glad you came to me. I can help" The doctor starts writing something on a piece of paper and says "Go to this address, and tell the optometrist I sent you".

A guy is relaxing on his chair watching TV when his wife comes up and smacks him over the head with a frying pan

A guy is relaxing on his chair watching TV when his wife comes up and smacks him over the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" he asked

"I was doing your laundry and found piece of paper in your pocket with the name 'Dorothy' on it"

"I was at the track. That was to remind me what horse to bet on"

The next night, she hits him over the head again while he's watching TV.

"What was that for?" he asked

"Your horse just called"

How much did the piece of paper love the binder?

A hole punch

I organised a secret Santa at work

I put my name on 10 pieces of paper and everybody picked one. Can't wait till Monday!

A dog walks in a telegram office

He takes a piece of paper and writes:
"Woof woof, woof. Woof woof woof, woof."
He then gives it to the clerk. The clerk looks at it and politely says to the dog, "You can write three extra woofs for the same price."
The dog looks confused and says,
"But that would make no sense at all!"

A chess player once borrowed a million dollars to purchase special edition chess boards.

His friend asked him to pay the money back but he ran away. His friend got cancer and couldn't pay the bills.
Finally the chess player went to visit him, holding a piece of paper in his hand. He walked up to him, and extended his arm towards him, and said "Check, mate."

An unpopular math nerd in school never really interacted with anyone.

Some girls decided to play a prank by giving him a piece of paper saying "i <3 u".
Unfortunately, the nerd did not understand and just responded, "Assuming solving for u, u > i/3".

I wrote down on a piece of paper several books I wanted to read about substances that speed up chemical reactions, and told my kitten to go out and get them for me.

I gave my catalyst.