Pie Jokes
148 pie jokes and hilarious pie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud at the best pie jokes from pumpkin pie to tau and cheesecake. With these hilarious punchlines, you’ll never look at a muffin the same way again!
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Funniest Pie Short Jokes
Short pie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pie humour may include short muffins jokes also.
- In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50. In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $5.50. These are the pie rates of the caribbean.
- Eating too much cake is the deadly sin of gluttony But not eating too much pie, because the sin of pi is always zero.
- I love you honey pie, my wife said earlier. And I love you tons, I replied. What, no nickname for me? She asked.
Sometimes I swear she's going deaf. - I just explained Google images to my mum... "Pick anything to search for" I told her.
"What about a nice cream pie?" She asked.
"Except that." I replied. - Gordon Ramsey goes to Australia and makes a lemon meringue pie. The whole audience cheers! "That's strange," he says, "I thought Australians usually boo meringue."
- How can you tell what kind of eel you're looking at? Well, if the moon hits it's eye like a big pizza pie, it's a moray.
- The doctor told me to lose some weight. I said, "How?"
He said "Don't eat anything fatty."
I said, "You mean pies, chips, that sort of thing?"
He said, "No, just don't eat anything, fatty." - The only cake joke I could remember for cake day. What's the difference a cake and a pie?
πr2, cake is round. - Rumours of a food shortage..... rumour of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies.
- My Account is 3 Months and 14 Days Old, So It's Not My Cake Day It's my Pie Day
Pie Day's over, get out of my house
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Pie One Liners
Which pie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pie? I can suggest the ones about cake and pudding.
- What do you get when you eat 3.14 slice of cake? Diabetes.
- What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie? That's a Moray.
- You know what a baby is? It is just a fully baked cream pie
- It's my cake day and no one cares I feel caked…pied….I mean desserted
- Here's a pie chart on procrastination.
- Why don't mathematicians eat pizza? Because even half a slice is pie over ate
- Why is it hard to work at an apple pie factory? They have such a high turnover rate.
- I ate some shepherd's pie today ...he seemed pretty angry about it.
- How does Davey Crockett take his pie? Alamo'ed
- BREAKING NEWS: Missing Child Spotted With Pied Piper Of Hamelin More to follow
- What's a snowman's favorite type of pie? "Chilly" of course!
- I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie But some people say that's irrational...
- What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack'olantern? Pumpkin pie!
- How easy is it to stroll along on pies? Well, it's no cakewalk.
- Where do you weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Pie Rates Jokes
Here is a list of funny pie rates jokes and even better pie rates puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know that Cherry Pie is $15 in Barbados but only $10 in Antigua? Arrr. Those be the Pie rates of the Caribbean today.
- Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory? Because they have such a high turnover rate!
- Pirates of the Caribbean joke A pie in Jamaica is usually 3 dollars. While a pie in the Bahamas is usually 4 dollars.
I know because I have always been a fan of the pie rates of the Caribbean. - What do you call a group of sailors that eat turnovers? Pie-rates
- In New Orleans, an apple pie is $5.94, while in San Juan, it's $3.99. These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean
- What have I named the Pie section of my bakery menu? Treasure Hunter cus its full of Pie-Rates
- Why can't sailors get fat? Because of those darned pie rates.
- Dad joke inc Did you know that in Trinidad and Tobago is costs £2.50 for a pie and in Jamaica it costs £3?
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean. - In Trinidad and Tobago a steak pie will cost you $3.25 In Jamaica a steak pie will cost you $3.50
In Barbuda a steak pie will cost you $1.75
And these are the pie rates of the carribean - The FCC shut down a pie contest Because of pie rating
Pie Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny pie day jokes and even better pie day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get if you eat 3.141593 cakes in one day? Fat.
You get fat.
What, were you expecting a "pie" joke? *On my cake day?* - BAD MATH JOKE TIME. For pi day, my friend was selling pies as a fundraiser, so because I love pie, I decided to buy two.
I went from 0 to 2π.
I went absolutely nowhere. - What do you get when you eat 3.14 cakes? Fat. You get fat.
Really? You were expecting a pie joke on my cake day? - Dad gets mom a cake for her birthday every year But for Mother's Day he gives her a cream pie.
- If 3.14 is Pie Day, then what is 3.28? Cake Day!
- Noah's diary : Day 39. Unicorn pie is delicious!
- Surface area if a circle, that is ridiculous! My teacher insists that pi r squared is how to calculate. But everyone knows that Pie are round.
Happy pi day! - I was baking the other day and as I was baking, my Caribbean friend came into my kitchen with a slice of cake and asked, "Jamaican cake?" so I replied, "No, I'm making a pie."
- As I sit here eating my Pi day pie, I'm looking forward to also celebrating Tau day. Then my desserts will have come full circle.
- Pi My teacher brought two pies to class for pi day so he had enough to go around
Pumpkin Pie Jokes
Here is a list of funny pumpkin pie jokes and even better pumpkin pie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the most popular holiday dessert in Alabama? Pump-kin pie.
- What's a pumpkin circumference divided by pumpkin diameter? Pumpkin pie
- Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie? He's a squashbuckling pirate
- What did the pumpkin pie say to the cheesecake as they were going into the oven? I think this is a set up!
- What does a cancer survivor who just baked a pumpkin pie say? "I made it."
- In colllege what was the difference between pumpkin pie and my girlfriend? I shared the girlfriend.
- What do pie and relationships have in common? Pumpkin spice flavor.
- I demand many helpings of pumpkin pie this Thanksgiving... It's a gourd given right!
- What's the official State pie of rural Alabama? Pumpkin
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Pie Jokes
What funny jokes about pie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pumpkin pie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pie pranks.
Wife asks her husband to fix the fridge. He replies "What am I, a repairman?" So she got their neighbor to fix it. She tells her husb "It's fixed. Our neighbor said he would fix it if I either slept with him or baked him a pie."
Husband laughs and asks "So what kind of pie did you bake him?"
Wife replies "What am I, a baker?"
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My four favorite things
My four favorite things are chicken p**... pie and omitting commas.
My wife crashed our car this morning.
When the police came she said the guy involved was on his mobile and eating a pie at the time.
The police advised her the guy was entitled to do what he wanted in his own living room.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you eat 3.14 cakes?
Diabetes.
Did you really expect me to make a pie joke on my cake day? No, you get diabetes. All of them at the same time.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Grandma's Apple Pie
An old man is dying, with his young grandson by his bedside. He asks his grandson to lean over and whispers "Johnny, I smell your grandma's apple pie. Looks like she took it of the oven. Go to the kitchen and bring me a piece. It's my favorite."
Johnny gets up and leaves. 2 minutes later he comes back empty handed and says "Sorry, grandpa, but grandma says its for after the f**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a Pie?
Since Pi = 3.14159
and e = 2.71828
so Pie = Pi x e
hence pie = 8.539721265
A friend and I were discussing Pie and I came up with this joke
I thought it was funny and she said it is the most pathetic joke she has ever heard
So Just looking for a confirmation how pathetic it really is.
Pie rates of the Caribbean joke
In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
My Pi Day joke
There was a village that had four competing pie shops, each inhabiting their own corner of the town. One of these shops was named "The Circle".
The Circle wanted to gain an edge on the other shops, they wanted to stand out. They realized they could transport more pies in their boxes if they made the pies square instead of circular, so they would stack better. The only place in the village to have these oddly-shaped pies is at The Circle.
So, for the area of The Circle, the pie are squared.
Why the different branches of the military can't work together:
The reason why the services don't get along? They don't speak the same language. For example, if you tell a soldier to "Secure the building." he's going to set up claymores and machine gun nests with interlocking fields of fire. If you tell a Marine to "Secure the building." he's going to pie every room with his rifle in his hands and his Ka-bar on his waist. If you tell a sailor to "Secure the building." he's going to lock all the doors and windows and put all the sensitive documents in a furnace. If you tell an airman to "Secure the building." he's going to sign a lease agreement with an option to purchase.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whenever my Muslim roommate goes to pray, I sit next to him with some apple pie and ice cream.
Then both of us are in A La mode.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...
when three big, burly bikers walked in. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere.
The old guy didn't say a word. He just got up and slowly walked out of the truck stop.
"Huh" snorted the first biker. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
"Nope" replied their server. "He's not much of a truck driver either. He just backed up and crushed 3 motorcycles with his rig."
When I was young, I brought a pie to the USA, a pie to Russia, and a pie to North Korea.
All because my maths teacher told me to carry pie to 3 dismal places.
A man walks into a bakery on March 14th
He orders some pie, the baker thinks its clever and gets him some pie. The next day the man comes back and says the pie was great and orders a different flavor. He does this every day for 350 days. The baker running out of ideas for flavors sees the man come in on Feb 27th.
He says, man look I'm out of ideas.
Well how about some cake then, asks the man.
Are you sure, no pie?
No sir, today is my cakeday!
The Japanese flag is actually just a pie chart..
..about how many of them are scared of Godzilla.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chicken p**... Pie.
My three favorite things.
What's the difference between pie and cake?
πr^2, but cake are round.
yup, waited about 4 months to post this.
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"Pi R Squared", said my math teacher.
"b**...!" I exclaimed. "Pie are round!"
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What do you call a pie that's full of h**...?
Ajit Pai
Oldest cake joke
A rabbit visits a bakery and asks if they make carrot cake.
The baker says they don't, so the rabbit buys a key lime pie.
This repeats several days until the baker is sick of it and decides to try making one.
The next time the rabbit enters, the baker proudly tells that they do have a carrot cake now.
The rabbit says: sorry, I'll have to take my business somewhere else: I'm highly alergic and can't risk cross-contamination.
A Liberian man has 1 pie and shares half with his friend, what does he now have?
Ebola, most likely.
A man sat down in a restaurant and the waiter came over to the table.
The man says, "I'd like tomato juice, scrambled eggs with spinach, and some cherry pie."
"But you haven't looked at the menu yet," said the waiter.
"No, but I've looked at the tablecloth," replies the man.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 cannibals...
...are eating. One turns the other and says "You know, I really don't like my sister." The other cannibal replies "Fine then, try the p**... pie."
So I was baking a premade pie and the instructions told me to put it in the oven at 180 degrees.
Now I'm left with an upside down pie in an oven.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
That pie smells so good I j**... in my pants...
I guess you could say I came to my senses.
Waiter, waiter, why is my apple pie all mashed up?!
Sir, you did ask me to step on it.
What did Yoda say when the bakery was out of Pies?
Dough. Or Doughnut. There is no Pie.
You can never finish a pie!
It's irrational to do so.
What's a monkeys favourite dessert?
Lemon Morangutan Pie.
I'm sorry.
A man walks into a bar with a pork pie on his head.
The barman asks, "Why are you wearing a pork pie on your head?"
The man replies, "It's a family tradition. We always wear pork pies on our heads on Tuesday."
The barman remarks, "But it's Wednesday."
Sheepishly, the man says, "Man, I must look like a real fool."
Pi-ku
Math is fun
When
Mixed with some pie
π r2
No. Pie are round. Cornbread are square.
What's the difference between pie and cake?
πr², cake are round
A mathematician walks into a pizza shop...
They request one pie. Upon getting a full pizza, they exclaim, "You gave me twice as many radians as I asked for!"
The world's best dentist and the world's worst pastry chef walk into a bar.
Being friends of the owner, he pours them both a drink and sits them down to catch up.
How was your birthday? He asks the dentist.
It was like pulling teeth he says with a smile.
Then the owner turns to the pastry chef.
How was your divorce?
It was as easy as pie the chef mumbles sadly.
What did they call the first person to bake a pie?
A pie-oneer.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of mage uses pastries to s**... people?
A pie romancer
What does a Mathematician say when he eats too much pie?
√(-1/64)
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the r**... do for thanksgiving?
Pump kin pie.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(My 3 favorite things are)
My 3 favorite things are chicken p**... pie. Doesn't even have to be in that order.
I've started calling my girlfriend names like Custard, Ice cream, Pudding, Chocolate cake, or Apple pie.
I'm planning to desert her.
How do terrorists like their apple pie?
Allah mode.
What is the most Un-American kind of pie?
Ajit.
I was turned away when I tried to order a pie from Yoda's bakery.
"Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie."
How does Rocky eat his pie?
Sliced alone.
Little known fact about the first pie eating contest ...
It started March 14, 1592.
It hasn't stopped.
Edit - fixed the date
What did the Pie say when he failed a math test?
"How did I get these simple questions wrong! I am so irrational!"
Thought I could put dolphin in my fish pie.
Until I noticed I was using all porpoise flour.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apparently the Japanese made a pie chart showing how afraid they are of Godzilla...
then one of them made it their national flag.
My wife just shoved a key lime pie in my face and stormed out of the house!
I've been desserted!
The Three Stooges are spending the night in a haunted house... and get up to their usual eye-poking, nyuk-nyuking, slapstick shenanigans. In the middle of the pie fight, a poltergeist appears. Curly throws a cream pie and it turns around in midair and smacks him right in the face!
He turns to Moe and says, "Hey, I think that ghost must have been from Australia."
"Oh yeah, why?"
"Because it just threw a Boo-Meringue at me!"
I asked the bank for a loan to open a "pizza delivery by drone" business.
They refused. Said my business case was just pie in the sky.
