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Pictures Of Kid Jokes

47 pictures of kid jokes and hilarious pictures of kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pictures of kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Pictures Of Kid Short Jokes

Short pictures of kid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pictures of kid humour may include short young kid jokes also.

  1. I always carry pictures of my wife and kids in my wallet It reminds me why no money is in there
  2. When people show me pictures of their kids, I show them pictures of my exes If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine.
  3. I switched my kids to almond milk. Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them "Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."
  4. i asked my wife to send me a naughty picture on snapchat... so she sent one of our kids playing in my electronics drawer
  5. If I were a girl, every Father's Day, I'd text an ex-boyfriend "Happy 'You-might-be-the-Father's Day." along with a picture of a random kid.
  6. I once knew this annoying couple that would show everyone they met a picture of their kid. One day I snapped and told them... "It's been 2 years. You're never going to find him."
  7. I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet … I do it to remind myself why there is no money in there.
  8. The real proof that one shouldn't judge a book by it's cover The real proof that one shouldn't judge a book by it's cover is that math text books have pictures of kids having fun on the front.
  9. What's the difference between the contents of a man's wallet before and after kids? Before kids the pictures on the paper in his wallet had faces of presidents on them...
  10. I read a riddle with a picture of an eye, a child, a finger pointing at me, and a knot I kid you not, that's what it was

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Pictures Of Kid One Liners

Which pictures of kid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pictures of kid? I can suggest the ones about baby picture and animal kid.

  1. The only time kids are shot in school in Canada is.. Picture day
  2. Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. *Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.*
  3. Yo mama so ugly, they use her picture to scare kids straight.
  4. Kids so mixed... They won't show up in black and white pictures.

Pictures Of Kid Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about pictures of kid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids knock jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pictures of kid pranks.

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’”
A small voice from the back of the room rang out,
“And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, n**..., and wrinkled”

It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father.
"Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder."
The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"

Taking pictures of the kids

Wife: Hopefully the sun stays behind the clouds. It'll be easier to take pictures of the kids.
Me: How can you take pictures of him with his sister if he's up there?

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!

It's Fathers Day At Kindergarten And All the Kids Are Supposed To Make Cards... (Fixed)

...by drawing a picture of their father at work.
Teacher asks, "Logan, what does your father do?"
"My dad's a cop. I'm gonna draw him catching a bad guy."
Then the teacher asks, "Briei, what does your father do?"
Briei says, "My dad's a writer. I'm going to draw him with his new book."
Teacher gets to Little Johnny. "And what does your father do, Johnny?" The teacher looks at the card and is surprised to see it's a picture of a man stripping at a gay bar! Knowing better the teacher asks why he lied Little Johnny says, "My dad's the quarterback for The Vikings but i'm too embarrassed to tell that..."
The teacher faints.

Don't you hate it when people keep talking about their kids

Ugh, the rest of us are not interested in your little brat. It's the worst when people want to show you pictures of their kids. So annoying!
Just this morning there was a woman going around with a picture and telling everyone "here's my kid, this is my little boy".
I'm like, listen lady give it up already. He's been missing for six months. You're *not* going to find him.

Precious Father-Son Time

When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a c**......they were all just pictures of me.

Don't you just hate it when people keep talking about their kids?

It's the worst! Some of us are just not interested.
Just this morning my co-worker was going around waving a picture saying "This is my boy! See my son!"
I'm like, "listen woman, quit it. He's been missing for two months now. You're NOT going to find him!"

A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.

First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper."
"A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed.
"Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge."
Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor."
"A doctor?" Asked the teacher, who was moved.
"Yeah, see? That's a stethoscope hanging around her neck."
Third was little Johnny, "This is my great grandpa. He was an electrician."
"An electrician?" Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.
"Yeah, here. You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmet"

A husband and wife are unable to have children, so they decide to adopt...

They eventually find a boy from Spain named Juan, and bring him back to America to live with them.
Years later, they learn from the adoption agency that Juan has a twin brother, who was raised by an Arab family. His parents were tragically killed, so the boy, named Amal, needs a home to live. So, since they wanted another kid anyways, they decide to adopt him.
The husband and wife are looking through the adoption papers for Amal a few days before seeing him, and the wife glances at a picture of him, and asks the husband if he would like to know what the boy looks like.
The husband shrugs and says: "Well, they are twin brothers, so I think I already know what he looks like. You know, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Kids are great. They are the ultimate proof that you, at one point of your life, pleasured a woman.

On an unrelated note, would you like to see a picture of my 12 kids?

The police came to my door last night showing me a picture...

"Is this your wife, sir?" they asked.
"Yes", I replied.
"I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
"I know, but she's good with the kids."

So I'm kind of a photographer

Whenever I hang out with a kid, their picture ends up on a milk carton

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

5 Arabs are sitting around looking at pictures of thier kids

One says to the others they blow up so fast!!

When someone shows you a picture of their kid the one thing they don't wanna hear is...

"Oh yeah I have some photos of your kid too"

The Perfect Man

So one day, a man is sitting at work with his co-worker:

Man: I'm really happy with life right now. Kids are doing great in school, wife loves me and puts out every night, and my doctor says I'm the picture of perfect health.
Co-worker: Wow! That sounds so great! Is there anything wrong with you?
Man: Well my therapist says I'm a compulsive liar, but what does she know?

I heard that putting baby pictures on Instagram is a certified way to get likes.

Well, I've got the photographs. Now I just need to return the kid to her parents.

A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.

The teacher says, "What's this?"
The kid says, "A picture of a cow eating grass."
The teacher asks, "Where's the grass?"
The kid says, "The cow ate it all."
"Ok, then where's the cow?"
"It left because there was no more grass."

When I was a kid my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a c**..., a man told his buddy.

Your dad showed you pictures of venereal diseases? the friend asked.
No, the first said, they were all pictures of me.

My uncle is a well known o**... player.

They even has his picture up at the playground warning parents to keep their kids away from him.

There was a shooting at school yesterday.

But don't worry all kids look okay in the pictures.

My father once gave me a Powerpoint presentation on the importance of wearing a c**...

Not only there were pictures of me, but also some pictures of 2 other kids...

So I keep seeing pictures of bald kids in hostpitals

Like honestly it isn't THAT hard to take a shower

Sometimes I look at pictures of myself from back when I was a kid and think

"I would m**... this guy in a fight. No contest."

A kid grew up with a inattentive father...

He wasn't around much and didn't really make an effort. Was emotionally distant and at times cruel. But the kid was very close with his sister, brother and mother.
Years go by, he goes to college, goes to grad school and has a great career. He becomes a renowned scientist respected by all.
All the while his father never really making an effort to connect. One day a gala is thrown in his honor and the organizer asks for a photo of his family, so he gives him one.
But the organizer asks: I see your mother and your siblings here. But where is your father?
The man replies oh well he's not really in the picture

When parents post pictures of their kids in the bath it's normal and cute

But when I save those pictures suddenly I'm a w**....

Three bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, who had a heart attack while making love to his mistress, hence the smile." says the coroner.
Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won the lottery and spent all his money on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Sean, the Irishman, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
*My grandfather told me this one as a kid so I hope you enjoyed!*

What did the shirt say to the pants?

What up britches!
(At a photography studio today, taking an extended family picture with like 15 people there. This is what the photographer said to get us to smile. I couldn't stop laughing, and was beet red. We had to wait for me to calm down. I'm a middle age married man with teenage kids , it was great fun seeing my girls roll their eyes at dad, that couldn't stop laughing at a dumb joke.)