Pictures Of Good Jokes
80 pictures of good jokes and hilarious pictures of good puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pictures of good that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pictures Of Good Short Jokes
Short pictures of good jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pictures of good humour may include short pics jokes also.
- I read an article that said it's good for your eyesight to look at something distant occasionally during computer use. So I put a picture of my dad next to the monitor.
- Who's this Rorschach dude? And why is he so good at drawing pictures of my mom beating me?
- You want hear Latvian joke? Okay, I am tell... Why Latvian take so good pictures?
No potato. - "Come into the bedroom and I'll show you a good time." I said to my wife. When she came up all giggling, I showed her pictures of me and my mates, before I met her.
- Help My dad said this subreddit would be a good place to find pictures of myself but I can't find any. Where are they?
- If you have an expensive picture of water... Would that mean you have a good liquid asset?
- Broke my good sunglasses... But instead of buying new ones, I'm just gonna put Trump pictures where the lenses used to be. He seems to be far more polarizing than my Costas ever were.
- I recently got an alcohol tester fitted to my wallet to make sure I don't drink too much when I'm driving. It's a picture of my wife, when she starts looking good I know I've had too much.
- The other day I came across a picture of myself when I used to look good without my top on... ...now my girlfriend thinks I'm a narcissist.
- The Kardashians and Palm Trees are similar They look good in pictures, but what's their purpose?
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Pictures Of Good One Liners
Which pictures of good one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pictures of good? I can suggest the ones about photos with and pictures of kid.
- I glued a picture of my deceased parrot onto my boomerang. It brings back good memories.
- What do you call a hobbit that looks good in pictures? Frodo-genic
- I can never seem to get a good picture of wheat. It always comes out grainy
- Good Night SMS Quotes For Love With Pictures
- What was the one good thing about communism? Nobody took pictures of their food
- What store do you go to, for a good picture of the moon? The photoshop.
- My IBM 5100 is so fast and good, it can hold 60 fps! It can show a picture at 60 fps!
- Need this picture made into a good meme asap plzz!!!
- I tried to get a good picture of Uranus last night... ... But your mother said no.
- I'M SO BLACK.... TO GET A GOOD PICTURE AT THE BEACH I STILL NEEDED THE FLASH ON
Pictures Of Good Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about pictures of good you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean know any good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pictures of good pranks.
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot, then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another one. After he finishes, he looks into his pocket again and orders another shot.
The bartender is curious and asks the man why he looks into his pocket before ordering each shot. The man replies, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket, and when she starts to look good, I go home.”
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?
When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner?
No?
Me neither.
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.
Asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."
Mothers Day Prank Suggestion
I played this simple and harmless joke on my mum a few years back and the family still laughs about it. Here you go:
Go to the local greenhouse or place that sells plants. Buy a really nice flower p**... (empty) and a bag of potting soil. This is the key, while you are there snag one of the tags from a nice looking flower that has its name, picture and whatnot on it. Make sure its something exotic so she is excited about it. Then fill the empty p**... with potting soil, stick the tag into the empty p**... and put a nice bow on it. When you give it to her say something like "the lady at the greenhouse said this is a really beautiful plant when the bulb grows but be sure to water it daily, it should grow in like 3-5 weeks". Done. Mom thinks she go a nice gift and you get to watch her water a p**... of dirt for at least a month until she decides to dig up the bulb thinking maybe she killed it... At this point I suggest you have an actual gift ready to give to her because I had to make an emergency trip to the greenhouse after being told: DONTCOMEHOMEWITHOUTAGODDAMFLOWERFORME!!!!! or something like that. Dad was still laughing when I got home, and afterwords mom even said it was a pretty good joke.
A man's wife has been getting onto him for drinking so much...
...but he decides to go out to the bar--just one last time--anyway. As it's his last there, he drinks excessively and gets even more plastered than usual.
The next morning, he wakes up in his own bed not really sure how he got there. Before opening his eyes, he starts imagining how infuriated his wife must be. But when he looks around, his wife isn't there. Instead, there's a hot breakfast on the end table next to a note wishing him a good day and expressing her love.
Suspicious, the man gets out of bed. He goes into the living room and sees a table and chair knocked on their sides and a couple pictures that had fallen off the wall. His son is sitting on the couch, so he asked him what happened.
"Well, Dad, you were pretty drunk when you came home last night," his son replies. "You stumbled in, knocked over the furniture and pictures until Mom woke up and helped you."
"Okay, but what's with the hot breakfast?" he asks. "Why isn't she yelling at me right now?"
"Oh," the son says. "When she tried to lead you into the bedroom, you said, 'No thanks, lady, I'm married.'"
Granny's boyfriend
A 5 yr old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
While playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you dont have a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm really happy with the TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she finally started hitting the backside of the TV, hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood a man.
The man said, "Hello, son, is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, but she's in the bedroom b**... her boyfriend."
Three nuns are talking after having cleaned the priest's desk.
The first one says "I found n**... pictures on his desk so I tore them".
The second one says "good for you sister. I found condoms in his drawer so I put holes in them".
The third nun fainted.
A man is sitting at home and a police officer knocks on his door.
The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, "Yes I am."
He then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife. "Sure hold on a second."
The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train."
The man says, "I know, but she has a good personality and is an excellent cook."
I don't know what to do with these pop-culture jokes now that they are considered to be "unfashionable"
Why is Justin Bieber's face always red after he talks to a woman?
The pepper spray usually hits him right between the eyes.
_________
What is red and orange and looks good on Justin Bieber?
Fire.
____________
Chris Brown takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says, "Show me that it's true what they say about black rappers!"
So he beats and chokes her, steals her purse, and posts pictures of her all over the Internet.
The Jewish Kid at the Catholic School
A Jewish family just moved into a new town because of the fathers work and are looking for a good school for their son to attend. Since the public schools are notoriously terrible, they look to the private schools. After asking around, they learn that St. John's Academy is by far their best option. The boy is a great student and does well in every subject. Except math. Year after year he fails math. His parents are confused because he is such an excellent student in all other subjects. They even get him a tutor, but he continues to fail.
A few years later, they move again. Another new school. But this time it is a public school. He passes math the first semester with an A. His parents ask him why math had been so hard for him at St. John's.
He replied "Well in the classroom they had a picture of a guy nailed to a plus sign and I couldn't focus because I thought I was next!"
I don't know who this Rorschach guy is, but he is really good at drawing pictures of my disappointed father.
Credit to one of the writers of the Daily Show when I saw him do stand up, but I don't remember the name.
A Shot of Whiskey.
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket. He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket. The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then I'll go home."
A lawyer calls his largest client to his office for an important meeting
When he arrives, the lawyer says to the wealthy art collector client "I have some good news and some bad news".
The client grumbles "I've had an awful day. Tell me the good news".
"Your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures today. She believes they are worth at least $3 million".
"Well done!" the tycoon says with a big smile. "Good news indeed! You've made my day. So what's the bad news?"
"The two pictures are of you with your secretary".
The police came to my door last night showing me a picture...
"Is this your wife, sir?" they asked.
"Yes", I replied.
"I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
"I know, but she's good with the kids."
Guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of the strongest whiskey...
He drinks it quickly and then looked in his wallet. He asks for a second shot and drinks it quickly again before looking into his wallet, again. He does this for about 5 times when the bartender said, "hey bud, easy with the shots, by the way, what are you looking at in you wallet, are you short on cash? I can open up a tab for you" The guy goes, "no, no, not at all, I have money, but thanks anyways." The bartender goes, "so why are you looking into your wallet after every drink?" The guy answers, "I was looking at a picture of my wife, I figure I can go home when she starts to look good."
I've come to realization that I'm not very good at talking s**..., so now whenever someone insults me I give them a picture of Bernie Sanders vomiting.
You could say I give em a sick bern.
An Artist Gets Mugged...
He goes to the police and draws them a picture.
The policeman says "That's a good picture, we could nail the guy with that."
"I dunno.." Says the rookie besides him. "It seems a bit sketchy."
Drink 'Till She's Cute
A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer"? The man replied, "There's a picture of my wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home"!
A lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector
A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news." The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first." The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $1,500 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. And I think she could be right." Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?" The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you & your secretary."
A guy asks a bartender for a shot
After drinking it, the guys looks into his pocket and says, "Hit me again."
The bartender pours more liquor into the mans shot glass. The man takes the shot, looks into his pocket, and says, "Hit me again."
5 shots laters, the bartender asks the man, "Sir, why do you keep looking into your pocket?"
The man replies, "Well, you see, I have a picture of my wife in here. And when she looks good to me, I'll go home."
A picture worth millions
A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $1,500 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. And I think she could be right."
Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you & your secretary."
the other night,, wife got n**... and told me to show her a good time....
so I showed her....
pictures of when I was single..!
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client.
"Saul, I have some good news, and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day. Give me the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she just invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15 million to $20 million, and I think she could be right."
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary."
My wife got n**... and told me to show her a good time
So I showed her a picture of my friends and I before we got married.
I went for a job interview in a Art Gallery today, but the interviewers seemed to hate everything about me.
I didn't really paint a good picture of myself.
Why was it so hard to get good pictures of the eclipse?
Because mooning is considered indecent exposure.
A pair of twins in a nursery home are both turning 100
One twin has bad hearing and the other can hear fine. A news reporter comes to take a picture of them for the newspaper. The reporter says
"I need you guys to sit on the sofa"
"What'd he say?" Said the woman with bad hearing
"He said to sit on the sofa" said the twin with good hearing. They both went over and sat on the sofa.
"Scoot closer together" said the reporter
"What'd he say?"
"He said to scoot closer together" said the twin with good hearing.
"Sit tight while I focus" said the reporter
"What'd he say?"
"He said he's going to focus" said the twin with good hearing.
"Oh! Both of us at the same time?"
A guy takes a shot at a bar and looks in his shirt pocket
A guy takes a shot at a bar and looks in his shirt pocket. He calls the bartender over and asks for another shot. Again, he downs the shot and looks back in his pocket.
He continues to do this and the bartender finally says, Every time I️ pour you a shot, you down it, look in your pocket and order another. What's in your pocket?
The guy responds, A picture of my wife. When she starts to look good I'll head home.
A attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, "Paul, I have good news and bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first."
The attorney said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $1-2 million. I think she could be right."
Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The attorney replied, "The pictures are of you with your secretary."
I just shot this really good picture at an art museum...
Now I'm not allowed back there again.
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector phoned his client......
He said, "Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news. The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news first.
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right.
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary.
Good news / bad news
The lawyer looked at his client and said, "I've got good news and bad news. Your wife has found a picture worth $1 million."
"Well, that's amazing!" exclaimed the client, "but what's the bad news?"
"It's a picture of you and your secretary."
A man witnesses a m**...
The police bring him in to a sketch artist, the sketch artist asks him questions about the m**... until he finishes his drawing. The sketch artist then asks the man "does this look like the m**...?" the man replies with "it's an awful good drawing and all, but it looks nothing like the picture I took".
The lawyer looked at his rich client and said, "I've got some good news and some bad news,"
The client said, "well gee, I guess lets here the good news first."
So the lawyer said "You're wife has found a picture worth $10 million."
The client replied, "Oh that's fantastic! But whats the bad news?"
"It's a picture of you and your secretary."
Art Collector
An attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first."
The attorney said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $5-10 million. I think she could be right."
Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The attorney replied, "The pictures are of you with your secretary."
A wealthy art collector got a call from his lawyer...
Lawyer: I have good news and bad news.
Art Collector: I've had a bad day, so lets start with the good news.
Lawyer: Well, your wife has invested a couple hundred dollars in a a few pictures that she expects to get a couple million for.
Art Collector: That's great! What's the bad news?
Lawyer: Well, the pictures are of you and your secretary.
I just love a good forced smile when taking pictures...
It really puts a smile on my face.
How do you take a good picture with an iPhone?
You throw it in the water and pull out your Nokia SLR
A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer.
After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for
another beer.
This happens about another seven times before the bartender asks him, "Why
do you keep looking in your pocket?"
The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in there. When she looks good
enough, I'll go home."
My girlfriend wanted me to show her a good time.
So I emailed her all the pictures of me before we met.
A guy walks into a bar
and asks for a beer. He c**... it, looks into his pocket and asks for another beer. He c**... that beer, looks into his pocket and asks for another.
The man does this a few more times until the bartender asks, "How come you ask for a beer, c**... it, then look in your pocket?"
The man says, "Because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I'm gonna keep drinking till she looks good enough for me to go home."
The Art Colletor
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, "Saul, I have some good news
and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first."
The attorney said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right."
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The attorney replied, "The pictures are of you with your secretary."
I went to the cardiologist yesterday
He asked me how I usually spend my days. I told him that I mostly look at pictures of puppies and kitties and think about volunteering at the local animal shelter. He said that I have a big heart. That made me feel really good about myself. Then he said, "Seriously, your heart is retaining water. You need to cut way back on your sodium intake and quit drinking".
My ex girlfriend was visiting town, and she asked whether I could show her a good time.
So I emailed her a bunch of pictures of me before we met.
Dude goes in a bar and orders a drink.
He drinks it and looks in his shirt pocket then orders another drink. He downs that one and looks in his shirt pocket again. He repeats this five times. Finally the bartender says, "It's not really my business, but what are you looking at in the breast pocket of your shirt?"
The guy says, "It's a picture of my wife. When she starts looking good, I know I've had to much to drink."
A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot..
The bartender hands him a shot of whisky, the guy drinks it down, looks at something in his shirt pocket, then orders another one.
The bartender gives him the 2nd shot, and same thing, guy drinks it, looks in his shirt pocket then immediately orders another.
After 5 more shots, the bartender can't take the mystery any more, and says to the guys "You keep looking at something in your shirt pocket every time you take a drink, what do you have in there?"
The guys says, "It's a picture of my wife. I keep drinking until she looks good then I go home."
I had no freaking idea!
I visited a local news website this morning and saw a picture of a good friend of mine on the front page with a title above saying, "A 34-year-old mechanic arrested for dealing drugs". I really thought I knew the guy, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, I've been a loyal customer of his for almost 7 years, and I had no idea that he was a mechanic!
Bought a new camera today…
and wanted to test it out. I was looking for a good subject and found a salon where a guy was cutting a woman's hair. I went in and asked him if I could take some pictures. He said she wanted a rainbow look, and it would be great to get some before and after pics to capture the coloring process.
That's when I shot a man, just to watch him dye.
Tinder hookups are like microwave dinners.
Done in 2 minutes, looks nothing like the picture, but just good enough to make you come back for more when you are desperate and nothing better is available
Photos
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented "These are very good! You must have a good camera."
He didn't make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said "That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots."