Pickup Truck Jokes
58 pickup truck jokes and hilarious pickup truck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pickup truck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pickup Truck Short Jokes
Short pickup truck jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pickup truck humour may include short dump truck jokes also.
- A joke that is mildly racist How.come there were only 1800 Mexicans at the Alamo?
Because they only had two pickup trucks - I saw a pickup truck that said "Silly boys trucks are for girls". they have managed to put a kitchen in a truck. Technology is amazing.
- How did the little truck always take home ladies from the bar? He had the best pick-up lines.
- Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck. - I ran after my neighborhood's garbage pick-up truck to toss my trash in when my wife called out to me...
- How does a mexican family take a picture? hop in the bed of pickup truck and run a red light.
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Pickup Truck One Liners
Which pickup truck one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pickup truck? I can suggest the ones about semi truck and big truck.
- What do you call a convoy of trucks hauling cheddar? A cheesy pickup line
- What do you call a queue of trucks? A pickup line
- What do you call a guy that paints in the back of his truck? A pickup artist.
- What is the only car that can actually get you girls? A pickup truck
- How do trucks get spouses? Pickup lines.
- What do you call a truck that can't accelerate? A pickup with no pickup
- An entire road is jammed with pickup trucks The worst pickup line i have ever seen.
- How did the truck get his girlfriend? Pickup lines
- Why are there only 200 Mexicans in Vermont? They only had 2 pickup trucks
- What do you call a row made of four trucks? A pickup line.
*cowers* - Sixeen trucks walk into a bar... It was a really terrible pick-up line.
- How does a r**... tenderize his meat? He puts his pickup truck in reverse.
- What do you call a car accident between two Nissan pick-up trucks? c**... of the Titans
- What do you call four k**... pushing a pickup truck? w**...
- Them r**... What do you call 3 white people, riding in a pickup?
A garbage truck.
Happy Pickup Truck Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about pickup truck you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean truck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pickup truck pranks.
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins.
He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.”
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses.
He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?”
The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
Dumping garbage
The Sheriff pulled up next to a guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up truck into a ditch. The Sheriff asks, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'FINE FOR DUMPING GARBAGE.'"
The pig farmer
The pig farmer is having trouble with his pigs not breeding so he visits the vet. The vet suggests he try artificial insemination, and that if successful, the pigs will roll in the mud. Being a simple pig farmer, he thinks "artificial insemination" means "do it himself."
To save his embarrassment and to give himself and the pigs some privacy, he loads them into the back of his pickup and takes them to the woods to do the deed.
The next day he wakes up and the pigs are, unfortunately, not in the mud. Back into the pickup and out to the woods for a second day...
The next morning he wakes up and the pigs are still not rolling in the mud. The farmer loads them into the pickup again and takes them out to the woods.
The next morning the farmer is too tired and sore to get out of bed so he asks his wife if the pigs are rolling in the mud. She responds, "They aren't rolling in the mud, but they're piled into the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
A man is lost in the back roads of Vermont when he collides with a local at the intersection...
He and the local got out to examine their bent fenders.
"Well, don't look like much," observed the local. "Why don't we just take a little pull to steady our nerves." He grabbed the jug from his battered pickup, removed the stopper and handed it to the tourist.
After taking a good slug, the tourist handed the jug back to the local, who banged the stopper and set the jug back in his truck.
"Aren't you going to have some?" asked the tourist.
The local shook his head. "Not till after the officer comes."
A man in Texas is driving with twenty penguins in the bed of his pickup…
…when he is stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. Right away, officer, replies the man, and off he goes.
The following day, the same man is driving on the same road with the same twenty penguins in the bed of his truck. This time, however, the penguins are all wearing sunglasses and straw hats. Sure enough, the man is stopped by the same officer. After pulling the man over, the officer approaches.
What is the meaning of this? I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday, why are they still in the bed of your truck? Did you really think these disguises would fool me?
They're not disguises, officer, you see I DID take them to the zoo yesterday—in fact, we had so much fun, we're going to the beach today.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple of r**... men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.
A couple of r**... men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"All right. How long do you need them?"
The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
The Penguin Joke
So a police officer is parked by the side of the road. He sees a pickup truck drive by and it's full of penguins. The officer flips his siren on and pulls the truck over.
He approaches the window and asks the man, "Sir, what are you doing with these penguins?"
"Well they're my pets, officer," the man replies.
"I'm afraid you'll have to take these animals to the zoo," the officer says, and leaves.
The next day, the police officer is parked in the same spot. He sees the same truck drive by. Now all the penguins are wearing sunglasses. He flips the siren on and pulls the truck over.
Upon reaching the window he says, "Sir, I told you to take these animals to the zoo."
"Yes officer, I did," replies the man. "And today I'm taking them to the beach."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Love Dress.
The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple' s house.
She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing n**... by the door.
'What are you doing?' the mother-in-law asked.
'I am waiting for my husband to come home from work,' the daughter-in-law replied.
'Why are you n**...?' asked the mother-in-law.
'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law replied.
'LOVE DRESS! You are n**...,' said the mother-in-law.
'But my husband loves it when I wear this dress.
It makes him happy and he makes me happy,' said the daughter-in-law.
'I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute,' the daughter-in-law continued.
Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left.
On the way home, she thought about the 'LOVE DRESS' and got an idea.
She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home.
Finally, the pickup truck drove up the drive way, and she took her place by the door.
The father-in-law opened the door, and immediately saw his wife n**... by the door.
'What are you doing?' he asked. 'This is my love dress,' the mother-in-law replied. 'Needs ironing,' he replied.
Penguins
A policemen is driving around when he sees a man driving a pick-up truck with the bed filled with penguins. He pulls the man over and tells him, " you shouldnt be driving these penguins around, you should take them to the zoo!" The man said, " you know. you are right", and drives off
The following day the policeman sees the same man driving the same pick-up truck with the same penguins. He pulls the guy over and asks him, "Didn't I tell you to take these penguins to the zoo?".
The man replies "I did. Today we're going to the beach!".
Penguin Truck
So there's a truck driver with a very important delivery: penguins to be delivered to the zoo. Unfortunately, his truck breaks down and they are stranded in the middle of a desert. Luckily , a passer by has a pickup truck. So the truck driver flags him down and says: "here is $300. Go take these penguins to the zoo." So the driver goes and takes them. Later the truck driver sees the other driver, and following him are the penguins. The trucker is furious and shouts at him: "what are you doing?! I gave you 300$ you were supposed to bring them to the zoo!!" He replies:" I did! We had money left over so I brought them to the movies as well!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Larry comes home to find a gorilla on his roof.
After calling several animal control numbers in the phone book, he finally calls a man who thinks he can handle this gorilla.
The man arrives at the house in a white pickup truck with his dog in the passenger seat and a rifle in the back.
He hands the rifle to Larry and says "So here's what we're gonna do: I'm going to climb up onto your roof and scare the gorilla off. Once he hits the ground, I've trained my dog to go bite his nuts and shake them until the gorilla passes out. After that I'll load him up and go release him in the hills."
Larry thinks about it and decides the plan isn't half bad and may actually work.
"But why'd you give me the rifle?"
"If I fall off the roof, shoot the dog."
The Church Gossip
Mildred, the church gossip, self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Tom, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Tom and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
Tom, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Tom quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house...walked home...and left it there all night.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A joke I heard some time ago
A texan man is driving over the Mexican border with his family. The border guard looks out his booth and notices the jam-packed pickup truck with trailer.
Raising an eyebrow he asks the man: "Planning a longer stay, sir?"
"We're emigrating." the man replies.
Visibly surprised the guard asks: "Why's that?"
The man responds: "Thirty years ago homosexuality was despised. Twenty years ago it became tolerated. Ten ago it was widely accepted. This year it became equal. We're leaving before it becomes mandatory."
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were cruising around in a pickup truck
As they were crossing a bridge, they lost control of the truck and it plunged into the river below. The redhead quickly opened her door and swam to the surface. The brunette's door was stuck, but she was able to roll down the window and also swam to the surface. The blonde unfortunately drowned - she couldn't get the tailgate down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Olie walks into the diner and sits down next to Sven at the counter, a huge grin on his face...
Sven says, "Hey, Olie! Whatcha grinnin' about?"
Olie says, "I had a very nice date with Leena last night."
"Oh? Do tell!"
"Well, she picked me up in that new pick-up of hers and we went for a drive through the woods. After a spell, she pulled off the main road down this little path and stopped. She got out of the truck without turning it off and walked in front of it, where she started to take all of her clothes off! Finally, buck n**... in the headlights, she yells, 'Take what you will, Olie!' So I took the truck and left."
"That's mighty smart of you, Olie. Those clothes would've never fit you."
A guy and his panda
A guy is driving his pick-up truck through a small town, and he's got a panda in the front seat with him. The guy spots a police officer, pulls over, and tells the officer he found a panda just walking along the road. Now the guy is wondering what to do with the panda. The police officer says, "Well, take it to the zoo, I guess."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the panda again in the front seat. Both are wearing baseball caps. The policeman pulls him over and says, "I thought you were going to take that panda to the zoo?" The man replied, "I did...and we had such a good time at the zoo that I took him to a baseball game."
[Long]
A cop is sitting on the side of the highway when all of a sudden he sees a guy driving a pickup truck full of penguins.
He pulls the truck over and tells the driver What are you doing? You need to take these penguins to the zoo immediately. The driver said OK. A few hours later, the truck passes again, still filled with penguins. The officer pulls the man over again, and says I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! The driver said I did, and they loved it. Now we're going to the movies!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you tell a r**... is married?
There are tobacco spits on either side of his pickup truck.
Bubba and Clyde are out hunting one day...
... when they finally lay eyes on the perfect buck. Bubba takes one shot and it goes down. They're struggling to get it back to their pickup, dragging it by its hind legs, when they come across another hunter.
The hunter says, "You know boys, if you drag it by its antlers, it'll be easier, since they won't be catching on everything."
After a little while, Bubba says to Clyde, "You know, that guy was right, this *is* a lot easier. The only problem now is we're gettin' further away from the truck."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An environmentalist and a lumberjack are having a discussion on women.
They both are having a tough time talking to women, so they decide to offer each other advice.
Environmentalist: "So what's your best pickup line?"
Lumberjack: "It's more of a steel cable I tie to my truck to haul logs"
Environmentalist: "No I mean what do you first say to them?"
Lumberjack: "I don't know. What's your icebreaker?"
Environmentalist: "I find the best icebreaker is global warming"
Lumberjack: "We're both s**..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Newspaper personal advertisement section:
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Will lick you all over. Call (x**...) x**...-xxxx and ask for Daisy.
*Over the week over 1,500 men from all over the country called for Daisy the Black Labrador Retriever.*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So you know about how men with small p**... drive massive pickup trucks to compensate?
I wonder what it means that my daily driver is a bicycle...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.
Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call this number and ask for Dixie.
(Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever)
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part IV
# Arkansas
An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on 1-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver asks, " 'Bout what?"
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
