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Pickup Truck Jokes

58 pickup truck jokes and hilarious pickup truck puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pickup truck that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Pickup Truck Short Jokes

Short pickup truck jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pickup truck humour may include short dump truck jokes also.

  1. A joke that is mildly racist How.come there were only 1800 Mexicans at the Alamo?
    Because they only had two pickup trucks
  2. What happens if you play a country western song backwards? Your pickup truck starts, your wife comes back home, and your dog comes back to life.
  3. I saw a pickup truck that said "Silly boys trucks are for girls". they have managed to put a kitchen in a truck. Technology is amazing.
  4. How did the little truck always take home ladies from the bar? He had the best pick-up lines.
  5. Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?
    A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
  6. I ran after my neighborhood's garbage pick-up truck to toss my trash in when my wife called out to me...
  7. How does a mexican family take a picture? hop in the bed of pickup truck and run a red light.
  8. So you know about how men with small p**... drive massive pickup trucks to compensate? I wonder what it means that my daily driver is a bicycle...
  9. How do you tell a r**... is married? There are tobacco spits on either side of his pickup truck.
  10. What do you call four k**... pushing a pickup truck? w**...

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Pickup Truck One Liners

Which pickup truck one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pickup truck? I can suggest the ones about semi truck and big truck.

  1. What do you call a row of trucks covered in mozzarella? A cheesy pickup line
  2. What do you call a convoy of trucks hauling cheddar? A cheesy pickup line
  3. What do you call a queue of trucks? A pickup line
  4. What do you call a guy that paints in the back of his truck? A pickup artist.
  5. What is the only car that can actually get you girls? A pickup truck
  6. How do trucks get spouses? Pickup lines.
  7. What do you call a truck that can't accelerate? A pickup with no pickup
  8. An entire road is jammed with pickup trucks The worst pickup line i have ever seen.
  9. What do you call a traffic jam full of trucks in Wisconsin? A cheesy pickup line.
  10. How did the truck get his girlfriend? Pickup lines
  11. Why are there only 200 Mexicans in Vermont? They only had 2 pickup trucks
  12. What do you call a row made of four trucks? A pickup line.
    *cowers*
  13. Sixeen trucks walk into a bar... It was a really terrible pick-up line.
  14. How does a r**... tenderize his meat? He puts his pickup truck in reverse.
  15. What do you call a car accident between two Nissan pick-up trucks? c**... of the Titans

Happy Pickup Truck Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about pickup truck you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean truck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pickup truck pranks.

A brunnette and a red haid were riding in the front of a pickup truck the blonde was in the back.
The truck crashed into the lake and the redhead and the brunnette made it to shore quickly but it took the blonde ten min.
They asked when she got there, "What took so long"?
The blonde replied, " I had to get the tailgate open".

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins.
He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.”
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses.
He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?”
The guy replies: “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"All right. How long do you need them?"
The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

Dumping garbage

The Sheriff pulled up next to a guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up truck into a ditch. The Sheriff asks, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'FINE FOR DUMPING GARBAGE.'"

A man is lost in the back roads of Vermont when he collides with a local at the intersection...

He and the local got out to examine their bent fenders.
"Well, don't look like much," observed the local. "Why don't we just take a little pull to steady our nerves." He grabbed the jug from his battered pickup, removed the stopper and handed it to the tourist.
After taking a good slug, the tourist handed the jug back to the local, who banged the stopper and set the jug back in his truck.
"Aren't you going to have some?" asked the tourist.
The local shook his head. "Not till after the officer comes."

A man in Texas is driving with twenty penguins in the bed of his pickup…

…when he is stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. Right away, officer, replies the man, and off he goes.
The following day, the same man is driving on the same road with the same twenty penguins in the bed of his truck. This time, however, the penguins are all wearing sunglasses and straw hats. Sure enough, the man is stopped by the same officer. After pulling the man over, the officer approaches.
What is the meaning of this? I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday, why are they still in the bed of your truck? Did you really think these disguises would fool me?
They're not disguises, officer, you see I DID take them to the zoo yesterday—in fact, we had so much fun, we're going to the beach today.

A couple of r**... men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.

A couple of r**... men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"All right. How long do you need them?"
The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

Love Dress

A mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by her son's house after he was recently married. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing n**... by the door.
"What are you doing?" the mother-in-law asked.
"I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law replied.
"Why are you n**...?" asked the mother-in-law.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law replied.
"Love dress? You are n**...!" said the mother-in-law.
"But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy, and he makes me happy. I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute."
Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way home, she thought about the "love dress" and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home.
Finally, the pickup truck pulled into the driveway, and she took her place by the door. The father-in-law opened the door and immediately saw his wife n**... by the door.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," the mother-in-law replied.
"Maybe you should iron it first," he said.

Them r**...

What do you call 3 white people, riding in a pickup?
A garbage truck.

Love Dress.

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple' s house.
She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing n**... by the door.
'What are you doing?' the mother-in-law asked.
'I am waiting for my husband to come home from work,' the daughter-in-law replied.
'Why are you n**...?' asked the mother-in-law.
'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law replied.
'LOVE DRESS! You are n**...,' said the mother-in-law.
'But my husband loves it when I wear this dress.
It makes him happy and he makes me happy,' said the daughter-in-law.
'I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute,' the daughter-in-law continued.
Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left.
On the way home, she thought about the 'LOVE DRESS' and got an idea.
She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home.
Finally, the pickup truck drove up the drive way, and she took her place by the door.
The father-in-law opened the door, and immediately saw his wife n**... by the door.
'What are you doing?' he asked. 'This is my love dress,' the mother-in-law replied. 'Needs ironing,' he replied.

Penguins

A policemen is driving around when he sees a man driving a pick-up truck with the bed filled with penguins. He pulls the man over and tells him, " you shouldnt be driving these penguins around, you should take them to the zoo!" The man said, " you know. you are right", and drives off
The following day the policeman sees the same man driving the same pick-up truck with the same penguins. He pulls the guy over and asks him, "Didn't I tell you to take these penguins to the zoo?".
The man replies "I did. Today we're going to the beach!".

A joke I heard some time ago

A texan man is driving over the Mexican border with his family. The border guard looks out his booth and notices the jam-packed pickup truck with trailer.
Raising an eyebrow he asks the man: "Planning a longer stay, sir?"
"We're emigrating." the man replies.
Visibly surprised the guard asks: "Why's that?"
The man responds: "Thirty years ago homosexuality was despised. Twenty years ago it became tolerated. Ten ago it was widely accepted. This year it became equal. We're leaving before it becomes mandatory."

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were cruising around in a pickup truck

As they were crossing a bridge, they lost control of the truck and it plunged into the river below. The redhead quickly opened her door and swam to the surface. The brunette's door was stuck, but she was able to roll down the window and also swam to the surface. The blonde unfortunately drowned - she couldn't get the tailgate down.

Olie walks into the diner and sits down next to Sven at the counter, a huge grin on his face...

Sven says, "Hey, Olie! Whatcha grinnin' about?"
Olie says, "I had a very nice date with Leena last night."
"Oh? Do tell!"
"Well, she picked me up in that new pick-up of hers and we went for a drive through the woods. After a spell, she pulled off the main road down this little path and stopped. She got out of the truck without turning it off and walked in front of it, where she started to take all of her clothes off! Finally, buck n**... in the headlights, she yells, 'Take what you will, Olie!' So I took the truck and left."
"That's mighty smart of you, Olie. Those clothes would've never fit you."

An environmentalist and a lumberjack are having a discussion on women.

They both are having a tough time talking to women, so they decide to offer each other advice.
Environmentalist: "So what's your best pickup line?"
Lumberjack: "It's more of a steel cable I tie to my truck to haul logs"
Environmentalist: "No I mean what do you first say to them?"
Lumberjack: "I don't know. What's your icebreaker?"
Environmentalist: "I find the best icebreaker is global warming"
Lumberjack: "We're both s**..."

Newspaper personal advertisement section:

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Will lick you all over. Call (x**...) x**...-xxxx and ask for Daisy.


*Over the week over 1,500 men from all over the country called for Daisy the Black Labrador Retriever.*

Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call this number and ask for Dixie.
(Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever)

50 Jokes for 50 US States Part IV

# Arkansas
An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on 1-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver asks, " 'Bout what?"

Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.

jokes about pickup truck