pickin Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious pickin puns

While picking up a turkey for this Thanksgiving, I overheard this gem.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


I was picking up my girlfriend and her dad looked at me and said, "I want her home by midnight"

Then I looked at him and told him,"but you already own her home". He looked back at her and said,"if you're not gonna sleep with him, I will".


Picking a Supreme Court Justice is a lot like crossing a river...

It all comes down to Roe v Wade


Picking up women in bars is like picking up Avocadoes in a supermarket...

You have no idea how damaged they are until you get them home.


Picking up girls is like the Cotangent function.

I don't understand the cotangent function.


I was picking up some dog poo in the park today and thought to myself...

I really should get a dog…


Why is everyone picking on Jews?

A comedian was going into his favourite joke, "One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to..." when a heckler from the audience interrupted.

"Moskowitz and Finkelstein! why does it always have to be two Jews? Can't you tell a joke with any other nationalities involved!? Why don't you make them Chinese for a change?"

The comedian rejoined, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend. How about this: One day, Lee Ho and Mao Chen were on their way to the synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Lee Ho's nephew..."


Picking herbs is an awful job...

... It's very thyme consuming.


Picking up Women

The worst part about picking up a girl, is when she wakes up halfway through the ride home, and starts kicking the roof of your trunk.


What does picking your nose and masturbating have in common?

It feels fuckin awesome but when you get caught its awkward as hell.


"Git yer cotton pickin hands off a my gin."

-Eli Whitney


So i was picking some flowers today

I was picking some flowers in the fields today when some pulled over and started yelling

"You're on private property,get off right now, sir!"


Daisy me pickin' They hatin'


Picking up a drug addict is easy...

They go for any line.


I was picking up my sister from pre school when a teacher asked me:

"Are you the father of Sophie?" He did not expect me to answer: "No, just her boyfriend".


Picking locks

Learning how to pick locks has opened many doors for me.


When it comes to picking up girls, sometimes I swing...

And sometimes I get charged for sexual assault.


Picking people up

Strong people don't put others down. They pick them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.


Picking up Jewish women is easier than I thought.

Who knew all I needed was a broom and dustpan?


When picking partners for a trust fall . . .

. . . Always choose the ground. The ground will always catch you.


Picking up the trash.

Friend: Help me pick up this trash.

Me: I cant lift your entire trailer park!


Picking which colour pen to use....

Its always a bic decision


What are the most funny Pickin jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Pickin? Well, here are the best Pickin dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Pickin pick up lines to share with friends.


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