Picard Jokes
28 picard jokes and hilarious picard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about picard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Picard Short Jokes
Short picard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The picard humour may include short battleship jokes also.
- Levar Burton cannot replace Mayim Bialik as the host of the show... Because Captain Picard would never willingly put a member of his crew in Jeopardy.
- What's the difference between mark zuckerberg and Jean Luc Picard? Picard didn't sell Data.
- What did Captain Picard say to the engineer when the Enterprise's sewing machine broke? Make it sew.
- Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone He already has an android, and it came with a data plan.
- Why Wasn't LeVar Burton Offered the Hosting Job? Because Captain Picard would never put any of his crew members in Jeopardy.
- What does captain Picard say when he's getting frisky with a woman? The captain's log... is ready for entry
- I can't decide if I want to watch the original Star Trek of The Next Generation... I guess you could say I'm stuck between a Spock and a Picard place!
- Captain Picard meets Jethro Tull, the inventor (not the band) and says "Make it sew, number one"
- I made a clone of Patrick Stewart but something went terribly wrong. The clone slammed me into a wall and lifted me by the neck. What could I do? I'd been hoisted by my own Picard.
- How does captain Jean-Luc Picard excuse himself from a conversation with Will Riker so he can use the restroom? I have to go, Number One.
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Picard One Liners
Which picard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with picard? I can suggest the ones about french and captain.
- What is Captain Picard's favorite Chinese takeout ? Make it Tso!
- What did Picard say after a sh*t? >!Captain's log.!<
- What is Captain Picard's favourite gaming device? N-Gage.
- What's Captain Picard's favorite game system? N-Gage
- What does Picard do just before he goes down with his ship? Captains final log
- What was Captain Picard's favorite kind of train? N-Gauge.
- What is Captain Picard's least favorite type of meal? A smorgasborg.
- What does Captain Picard say when he goes to a Chinese restaurant? "Make it Tso!"
- Captain Juan-Luc Picard's log He has a poor diet and is constipated.
Best joke 2016 - What happens if Captain Picard goes on Jeopardy? He becomes friends with Star Trebeck.
- Why couldnt Captain Picard make a phone call? Because his phone ran out of Data.
- What did Data find in Picard's gym sock? The Next Generation
- What did gay Picard say when he was spying on his neighbour? Earl Gray, hot!
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Picard Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about picard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean enterprise jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make picard pranks.
What's the difference between Captain Picard, a scared female pig, a loose thread, and the likelihood this joke is terrible?
One likes to make it so, one is an afraid sow, one is a frayed sew, and sorry, but I'm afraid so!
The Enterprise-D had just accomplished a major Starfleet mission, so the crew went to celebrate at Ten Forward. Captain Picard and Chief O'Brien were chosen to give the toasts.
First O'Brien gave his toast; "May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."
Next Picard gave his toast; "Cinnamon, eggs, bread and maple syrup."
The bartender, Guinan, admired O'Brien's toast, but was absolutely confused by Picard's.
So O'Brien explained, "As you all know, I'm from Ireland, so I gave a traditional Irish toast."
And Picard explained, "And as you all know, I'm from France..."
Captain Jean-Luc Picard needed to mend his torn uniform, but his old Singer was broken. So he took it down to the repair shop...
...and said, "make it sew."
What did Jean-Luc Picard say when Engineering offered to fix his electric sewing machine?
Make it sew!
