Amusing & Witty Piano Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
my pre school guitar teacher...
got in trouble for f**... A minor, but he wasn't as bad as bad as my pre school violin teacher...he fiddled with kids... but both were not nearly as bad as my pre school piano teacher....who r**... me in the mouth
Two gay guys live together
The first guy says, "Let's play hide-and-seek. I'll hide, and if you find me I'll blow you."
The second guys says, "What if I can't find you?"
He says, "I'll be behind the piano."
Genie with a flaw
A guy walks into a bar. He sets a bag onto the bar, orders three shots of whiskey, and slams them all back.
The bartender asks, "Hey buddy, what's the problem?"
The guy reaches into the bag, pulls out a little piano, then set it on the bar. He reaches back inside, pulls out a little stool, and sets it in front of the piano. He reaches in one more time, pulls out a little man, and sits him on the stool. The man then proceeds to play a wonderful sonata that fills the establishment and leaves the patrons in awe.
"Wow, that was great!" exclaimed the bartender. "Where'd you find this guy?"
The man reaches into the bag one last time and pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says "Rub it."
The bartender rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The genie says "I shall grant you one wish, whatever your heart desires."
"I want a million bucks!" the bartender shouts.
"It shall be done." And
A minute later, a duck walks into the bar. And then another duck, and then another. Soon the bar is full of ducks.
"Hey buddy," the bartender says to the man. "I think your genie is a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
"Yeah," said the man. "Do you think I really asked for a twelve-inch pianist?"
What is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs?
Be sharp or Be flat.
I paid a fish to come over to re-key my guitar, piano and drums.
He was a professional tuna.
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says "Doctor, you gotta help me, my wife thinks she's a piano..."
The doc replies, "Well, bring her in and I'll see what I can do."
The man says, "Are you nuts!? Do you know how much it costs to move a piano??"
What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord?
A-minor
What does a piano, a tuna and glue have in common?
You can tuna piano but can't piano a tuna
I heard that Elton John was pretty good on the piano
but apparently he s**... on the o**....
Whats better than roses on a piano?
tulips on an o**......
What'll happen if a piano is dropped on a man?
He will B flat
You can explore piano minor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean piano concerto dad jokes. There are also piano puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's better than roses on your piano?
Two lips on your o**....
My drivers license says I'm an o**... donor,
but jokes on them because I own a piano.
Why was the piano teacher arrested?
He kept f**... A minor.
What chord does a piano make when it drops on a child?
...A-flat minor
What do you get when you push a piano out of the second floor window of an elementary school?
A flat minor.
Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand?
Because she uses the other one to sing
Why does Elton John play the piano?
Because he s**... on an o**....
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
A man walks out of a bar...
He realizes he must be drunk after having seen an Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman drinking together, A horse, 2 chemists (one dead), a piano player, a dog, a monkey, an octopus, 007, an ostrich as well as a befuddled bartender tending to countless men walking into the bar...
What's the difference between tuna, glue and a piano?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna!
Did you hear about child m**... who plays the piano?
He was f**... a minor
If you show me a piano falling down a mine shaft...
I'll show you Aflat minor.
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner
Did you hear about the Piano Teacher that slept with his student?
She was A Minor.
Doctor will I be able to play piano after the procedure?
Doctor: Yes, I don't see why not.
Patient: That's wonderful I could never play piano before!
Two guys are delivering a piano...
.... on the 10th floor of a walk-up building. On the 9th floor they rest for one final time.
Guy in the front: "Dude, I got good news and bad news"
Guy in the back: "Tell me the bad news first."
Guy in the front: "We're in the wrong building."
Guy in the back: "And the good news?"
Guy in the front: "We only have one more floor to go."
A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.
Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a w**...."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
I saw a Norse god discreetly playing 49Hz notes on a piano in space...
I thought to myself: "What a low G low G low key low key Loki."
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor
If a piano player is called a pianist
Wouldn't a racecar driver be called a racist?
What do you call it when a piano falls on a kids head?
A flat minor
My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler...
... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.
Playing the piano is like living.
I gave up on piano at 7 years old.
A man broke the Guinness World Record by playing the same piano key 1,000 times in 1 minute
He then went home and broke the world record for most satisfied girlfriend.
What's worse than a lobster on your piano?
**c**... on your o**....**
What the difference between playing a piano and dropping a piano?
One sounds like Thelonius Monk, and the other sounds like a melodious "thunk!".
I just fell victim to a dad joke
Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.
Me: I don't know?
Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
Me: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.
A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano...
... A wise man gives his wife an upright o**....
Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?
So she could sing with the other.
When a musician's fingers move really fast across a piano, they're considered a prodigy and a genius.
But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the f**..., Emily".
What is Roy Moore's favorite piano key?
A minor
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?
B flat.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a Morris Marina?
An episode of Top Gear.
when i die I want it to be from being hit by a falling piano
That way my life ends on a dramatic note.
I'm OK at guitar
but I can't pick up the piano.
What's more romantic than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an o**....
When I was a kid I figured out how to play the piano by ear.
After a while I learned that it was easier to use my fingers.
A pianist performing in a subway terminal...
was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.
Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.
I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"
To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."
It's a medical miracle
A man is recovering from surgery after a car c**..., and he notices that both his hands are covered in casts. When a nurse comes to check on him, he asks "Will I be able to play piano after this?"
"Yes, the casts should come off in a few weeks, then you should be able to play."
"That's funny, I couldn't play piano before the accident."
How did the catholic priest play the piano?
In A minor.
A man broke his hand.
He asked the doctor, "Will I be able to play piano as soon as the cast comes off?"
"Of course!" said the doctor.
The man replied, "Great. I never could before."
What's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a bucket of glue?
You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish.
What about the bucket of glue, you ask?
I knew you'd get stuck on that part.
How is a piano like a stick shift?
They both have three pedals, and most people only know what two of them do.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A♭m
What's R. Kelly's favorite chord to play on the piano?
A Minor
You know you spend too much time sitting, playing piano...
...when your Bach hurts
What's Darth Vader's stage name when he plays his electric piano?
The synth lord
If you drop a piano down a mineshaft, what in what key will it play when it lands?
A flat minor.
I played "My Heart Will Go On" on a public piano and people yelled at me.
Can't wait till this cruise is over.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a military base?
A flat major.
For a woman, romance is roses on a piano.
For a man, it's tulips on an o**....
Two parents are arguing about whose child is the most s**....
"Mine is very s**...", says the first one. "And to show you what I mean: Hey son, take this dollar and go buy my a piano! You saw him! He's going!"
"Nah... mine is even more s**..." replies the second one. "Hey son, go to the cafeteria to check if I'm there. Check him out!! He left."
Later, the two sons meet up outside the cafeteria.
"Hey, my father is very s**..." says the first one, "He gave me this dollar to go and buy him a piano, and he didn't even tell me which brand he wants it!"
"That's so s**..., but mine is the most s**...! He asked me to go to the cafeteria to check if he's there. Like, he just cant call and check!"
During my piano recital, some of the black keys stopped working.
It was a flat out disaster.
Why couldn't bach play the piano?
It was baroque
A patient gets its eyes checked after cataract surgery
He asks his doctor: How does it look, doc? Am I able the play the piano?
Doctor: It looks all fine. With the right glasses it should be no problem.
Patient: That's amazing, I've never played the piano before!
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Can I have a free drink if I show you something amazing?"
The bartender agrees so he pulls out a tiny piano, a frog and a hamster. The hamster starts playing the piano and the frog starts singing Adele. As the bartender gets him his drink a punter asks him "how much for the singing frog?" The man replies "I'll sell him for £100 if you want?" And the punter agrees. The bartender sees this and says to the man " WHAT?! You could have made millions off that Why'd you sell him so cheap?" And the man says "no, it's okay... The hamsters a ventriloquist"
A lawyer died and was so big they almost had to bury him in a piano case.
Instead they gave him an e**... and buried him in a shoebox.
What's brown and smelly and sits on a piano stool?
Beethoven's last movement
Lost my job as an Old West saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door
and I just kept playing
Revenge on a four-year-old child
A while ago, I invited my friend to my house for dinner. He brought along his four year old child, who made a mess of my house, and destroyed two of my expensive plates. I was so angry, but after all, I couldn't vent my anger on a young child. I had no choice but to smile and keep my composure.
I led the child over to my piano, where I allowed him to randomly hit a few keys. I remarked "Wow, your son has a good musical sense, he's quite talented!"
I heard the child hasn't had any free time ever since.
Why Can't Thor play Piano?
He hates playing the Lokis.
(I know it's bad plus it's better read out loud)
"No forced entry,"
the detective mused. "That means it could only be .... the piano player!"
Everyone gasped and turned towards the mild-mannered entertainer.
"He's the only one who has all the keys!"
What's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a bucket of glue?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
A guy's playing basketball with his buddies...
A guy's playing basketball with his buddies when he injures a finger badly.
He goes to the doctor and explains what happened.
The doctor examines it and says "It's broken, but we'll be able to get it healed up just about as good as new."
The guy gets a concerned look on his face and asks "Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after it's all healed up?"
Noticing his concerned look, the doctor reassures him "Sure you will," with a warm smile on his face.
The guy gets really excited and exclaims "YES! I've always wanted to be able to play the piano!"
A man walks into a bar
And pulls out a small piano, a small chair, and a small man. Theman walks over to the piano and starts playing it.
Everyone in the bar is amazed. They ask the man how he did it.
There's a genie outside granting wishes, says the man.
Upon hearing this, one of the bar patrons runs out of the bar and asks the genie, Are you granting wishes?
The genie says yes, so the man asks, give me a million bucks! And bam! A million ducks appear.
The guy goes back into the bar and says, hey! That genie is deaf!
The other guys replies, yeah, I know. Do you think i'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?
What kind of cheese plays the piano?
Mozart-rella!
Guy hears incredible piano music coming from a bar...
So he walks in and there's a guy about a foot tall that is beautifully playing any song someone requests. The guy is totally perplexed and asked the bartender how they found him. Bartender points to a genie sitting at the end of the bar and tells him he'll grant any wishes you want.
The guy walks up to the genie and says "I wish I had a million bucks!" p**..., there's a million ducks that appeared out of nowhere.
Guy tells the bartender the genie got it wrong. Bartender replies "you think I wished for a 12 inch pianist'?
I was going in for surgery to remove a cyst in my hand yesterday, and I asked one of the nurses if I'd be able to play piano after recovery.
She said yes!
I replied: "That's great, I've never been able to play before!"
The eyeroll I got back made me think she was thinking back over the Hippocratic oath to determine whether she could smother me with a pillow or not.
When I was little, I wanted to play the piano really badly.
Now that I'm older, I can now play the piano really badly.
Genie will grant you one ...
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter. He asks the man, Where did you get such a big lighter?
The man replies, See that man playing piano over there? He's a genie and he'll grant you one wish.
So the guy walks over to the genie and says, I wish for a million bucks. All of a sudden the room fills up with a million ducks.
The man walks over to the guy with the lighter and says, That genie is a little hard of hearing isn't he.
The guy replies, No kidding! You think I asked for a 14 inch Bic!
A man answers his door and finds a piano tuner waiting on the step. 'Can I help' says the man 'I haven't ordered a piano tuner'
'I know you haven't' replies the piano tuner 'Your neighbours did for you'
A man tells his friend that he has a dog in a suitcase who can play the piano.
The friend says ok let's see it . The man opens the suitcase and sure enough a small dog with a small piano comes out and plays the piano with great skill. As he plays a crowd gathers around to watch. After some time a female dog comes out from the crowd, picks him up by the scruff and carries him off. The friend asks what's going on is that part of his routine? The man says No that's his mother, she wants him to be a doctor.
(Translated from Hindi and relayed by my father in law)
What would happen if a piano fell on top of you?
You'd b-flat.
What is better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your o**....
A piano player at a bar has a monkey as a sidekick . . .
. . . who collects tips in a tin can. While the piano player was playing, the monkey squatted over a man's glass and dipped his t**... in the drink.
Infuriated, the man yells at the piano player "Do you know your monkey dipped his b**... in my martini ?!!"
The piano player replies "No man, but hum a few bars and I can probably pick it up."
Doctor: Well, your arm is broken. You'll need a cast for about 8 weeks and you'll be good as new
Me: When the cast comes off, will I be able to play the piano?
Doctor: I don't see why not.
Me: AWESOME!!!! I've always wanted to play the piano
In other news..... Police arrested a musician for stealing
Police apprehended a musician for stealing the right half of the piano.
He was in treble.
Guys walks into a piano shop and asks the shop keeper for a wasp!
The store keeper says sir. We are a piano shop. We don't sell wasps . The guys says. Then why have you got some in the window?
