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Piano Jokes

174 piano jokes and hilarious piano puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about piano that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh your way through these witty jokes by famous pianist Victor Borge. Enjoy a good chuckle with musical puns and one liners about playing the piano, clarinet, and minor chords. Have a good time with some of these amazing piano jokes.

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Funniest Piano Short Jokes

Short piano jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The piano humour may include short guitar jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between tuna, glue and a piano? You can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna!
  2. My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler... ... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.
  3. Guys walks into a piano shop and asks the shop keeper for a wasp! The store keeper says sir. We are a piano shop. We don't sell wasps . The guys says. Then why have you got some in the window?
  4. Why does helen keller play piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing
  5. Lost my job as an old west saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door and I just kept playing
  6. I played "My Heart Will Go On" on a public piano and people yelled at me. Can't wait till this cruise is over.
  7. When I was a kid I figured out how to play the piano by ear. After a while I learned that it was easier to use my fingers.
  8. Doctor will I be able to play piano after the procedure? Doctor: Yes, I don't see why not.
    Patient: That's wonderful I could never play piano before!
  9. What do you get when you push a piano out of the second floor window of an elementary school? A flat minor.
  10. What did the accordion player say to the piano player? "You got the keys, but I’ve got the squeeze."

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Piano One Liners

Which piano one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with piano? I can suggest the ones about musical instrument and saxophone.

  1. What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat minor
  2. What would happen if a piano fell on top of you? You'd b-flat.
  3. What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner
  4. Playing the piano is like living. I gave up on piano at 7 years old.
  5. What do you get if you drop a piano on a military base? A flat major.
  6. If a piano player is called a pianist Wouldn't a racecar driver be called a racist?
  7. What chord does a piano make when it drops on a child? ...A-flat minor
  8. What'll happen if a piano is dropped on a man? He will B flat
  9. What is Roy Moore's favorite piano key? A minor
  10. What do you call it when a piano falls on a kids head? A flat minor
  11. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A♭m
  12. How did the catholic priest play the piano? In A minor.
  13. What do you call a snowman that can play the piano? Frosty the Snowpianist!
  14. Have you heard of the piano-playing spy? Neither have I. He's very low-key.
  15. What's R. Kelly's favorite chord to play on the piano? A Minor

Play Piano Jokes

Here is a list of funny play piano jokes and even better play piano puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man broke the Guinness World Record by playing the same piano key 1,000 times in 1 minute He then went home and broke the world record for most satisfied girlfriend.
  • A man broke his hand. He asked the doctor, "Will I be able to play piano as soon as the cast comes off?"
    "Of course!" said the doctor.
    The man replied, "Great. I never could before."
  • When I was little, I wanted to play the piano really badly. Now that I'm older, I can now play the piano really badly.
  • What kind of cheese plays the piano? Mozart-rella!
  • What's Darth Vader's stage name when he plays his electric piano? The synth lord
  • Why Can't Thor play Piano? He hates playing the Lokis.
    (I know it's bad plus it's better read out loud)
  • Why couldn't bach play the piano? It was baroque
  • What the difference between playing a piano and dropping a piano? One sounds like Thelonius Monk, and the other sounds like a melodious "thunk!".
  • I saw a Norse god discreetly playing 49Hz notes on a piano in space... I thought to myself: "What a low G low G low key low key Loki."
  • If you drop a piano down a mineshaft, what in what key will it play when it lands? A flat minor.

Piano Key Jokes

Here is a list of funny piano key jokes and even better piano key puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I paid a fish to come over to re-key my guitar, piano and drums. He was a professional tuna.
  • During my piano recital, some of the black keys stopped working. It was a flat out disaster.
  • What is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs? Be sharp or Be flat.
  • In what key do ghosts play the piano? In the spoo-key.
  • I can't believe I was late to my own piano recital. I just couldn't find my keys
  • Why cant you open a piano ? because the keys are inside
  • Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano!
  • Why didn't the guitar drive to the store? Because the piano had the keys
  • I had to move my new piano up 5 flights of stairs to my apartment but, as soon as I got to the door, I remembered something I forgot the Keys
  • I heard it took at least two elephants to make the keys on my antique piano I had no idea they were capable of such delicate work.

Piano Player Jokes

Here is a list of funny piano player jokes and even better piano player puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If a watchmaker uses Dial and a piano player uses Ivory and a Orange grower uses Zest... ...Does a Bull Fighter use Olay?
  • What do novice piano players have in common with embedded systems programmers? They both write in C.
  • A concert promoter was fired for claiming he had the worlds largest piano player booked when he was only 5' 8"... Just another case of a man lying about the size of his pianist.
  • I feel bad for Ray Charles about the whole Stevie Wonder thing... I mean another blind black piano player? There's no way he saw that coming.
  • A piano player is being investigated for assault Good thing he is only A Minor and is able to B Sharp enough to escape the cops.
  • My girlfriend and I are having a disagreement. My girlfriend and I are having a disagreement.
    She wants a huge wedding with 500 guests and a piano player… I want us to see other people.
  • Which piano player is the most predictable poker player? Ben Folds
  • Spent my night listening to my favorite Greek, new-age piano player Laurel
  • What do you call a love triangle between a drummer, a bassist, and a piano player? A bad combo

Piano Tuning Jokes

Here is a list of funny piano tuning jokes and even better piano tuning puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?
    You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish
    "What about the glue?"
    I knew you'd get stuck on that.
  • I saw a guy tuning a piano, and said "Betcha can't tune a fish!" Without missing a beat, he replied... "Sure I can, just gotta use the C scale!"
  • What note does a narcissistic pianists use to tune a piano? Mi mi mi mi mi
  • How does a physicist tune a piano? With string theory.
  • You can tune a piano... But you can't tune a fish!
  • You can tune a piano, but you can't... be happy about being a piano tuner your whole life
  • You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish!!!!! Sorry, watching dbz and it tickled me lol.
  • Just heard this one... You can tune a piano but you cant tune a fish. Hahahahahha
  • They say you can tune a piano But you can't tune a fish
Piano joke, They say you can tune a piano

Amusing & Witty Piano Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about piano you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean keyboard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make piano pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

my pre school guitar teacher...

got in trouble for f**... A minor, but he wasn't as bad as bad as my pre school violin teacher...he fiddled with kids... but both were not nearly as bad as my pre school piano teacher....who r**... me in the mouth

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Two gay guys live together

The first guy says, "Let's play hide-and-seek. I'll hide, and if you find me I'll blow you."
The second guys says, "What if I can't find you?"
He says, "I'll be behind the piano."

Musical Contradiction

Piano is my forte.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

Neither has he.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Genie with a flaw

A guy walks into a bar. He sets a bag onto the bar, orders three shots of whiskey, and slams them all back.
The bartender asks, "Hey buddy, what's the problem?"
The guy reaches into the bag, pulls out a little piano, then set it on the bar. He reaches back inside, pulls out a little stool, and sets it in front of the piano. He reaches in one more time, pulls out a little man, and sits him on the stool. The man then proceeds to play a wonderful sonata that fills the establishment and leaves the patrons in awe.
"Wow, that was great!" exclaimed the bartender. "Where'd you find this guy?"
The man reaches into the bag one last time and pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says "Rub it."
The bartender rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The genie says "I shall grant you one wish, whatever your heart desires."
"I want a million bucks!" the bartender shouts.
"It shall be done." And the genie disappears.
A minute later, a duck walks into the bar. And then another duck, and then another. Soon the bar is full of ducks.
"Hey buddy," the bartender says to the man. "I think your genie is a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
"Yeah," said the man. "Do you think I really asked for a twelve-inch pianist?"

When he died, Beethoven left something on his piano bench

It was the same thing he left in his toilet: his last movement

Confucius say, piano falls down mineshaft...

Get tone of A Flat Miner.

A man is going in for surgery...

And right as he's about to go under, he asks the doctor: "Doc, will I be able to play piano after this?" The doctor says, "Of course you will, this surgery is just on your knee. Why do you ask?" The man replies, "Well I don't play at the moment, but I've always wanted an easy way to do it."

A man goes to a psychiatrist and says "Doctor, you gotta help me, my wife thinks she's a piano..."

The doc replies, "Well, bring her in and I'll see what I can do."
The man says, "Are you nuts!? Do you know how much it costs to move a piano??"

What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord?

A-minor

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why did Liberace like playing the piano?

Because he s**... on the o**....

What's the difference between...

Requires the receivers input so I will just tell the full joke. It's given me quite a bit of laughs and sighs so I thought I would share it!
What's the difference between a tuna, a piano and a bathtub full of glue?
"I dont know!"
Well you can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
"What about the bathtub of glue?"
I thought you might get stuck on that one!

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens.

Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands.
Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?
No, Plato replied. But if you play a few bars, I may be able to pick it up.

Was tuning the piano with my sister and I said...

This reminds me of the Soprano section in our school choir.
To which she responds, "How do you know if a Soprano is at the door?"
("IDK, How")
"She doesn't have the key and doesn't know when to come in."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Whats better than roses on a piano?

tulips on an o**......

My dad got carpal tunnel syndrome from being on a keyboard in an office all day.

It got so bad his boss made him get rid of the piano.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My drivers license says I'm an o**... donor,

but jokes on them because I own a piano.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why does elton john play the piano?

Because he s**... on an o**....

I took a piano lesson with Elton John...

He was so nice, he even offered to push in my stool.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on my o**...
My dad told me this joke when I was 5, I finally understood it 19 years later. Hope it doesn't take you that long

What do you call a Jewish piano?

A cash register.

A man walks out of a bar...

He realizes he must be drunk after having seen an Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman drinking together, A horse, 2 chemists (one dead), a piano player, a dog, a monkey, an octopus, 007, an ostrich as well as a befuddled bartender tending to countless men walking into the bar...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Did you hear about child m**... who plays the piano?

He was f**... a minor

If you show me a piano falling down a mine shaft...

I'll show you Aflat minor.

Two guys are delivering a piano...

.... on the 10th floor of a walk-up building. On the 9th floor they rest for one final time.
Guy in the front: "Dude, I got good news and bad news"
Guy in the back: "Tell me the bad news first."
Guy in the front: "We're in the wrong building."
Guy in the back: "And the good news?"
Guy in the front: "We only have one more floor to go."

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar, orders a beer, walks over to the piano, and sets his beer down on it. The piano man's monkey climbs over and pees directly into the glass of beer. The man says
"Hey, do you know your monkey peed in my glass?!?"
The piano man says
"No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll play it for you."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.

Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a w**...."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

What kind of piano songs does the Nike CEO play?

Just duets

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A piano player died today.

The cause of death: o**... failure.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

One nun to another: "Why did you put that c**... on the piano"

—"We don't have an o**... to put it on".

3 cousins are together talking about their names. The first, a raven haired beauty, says "when my mother was pregnant a rose fell from a bush and landed on her stomach so she named me Rose".

The second, a beautiful blonde, says, "when my mother was pregnant a violet landed on her stomach, so she named me Violet".
She turns to the 3rd cousin, a small crippled girl in a wheelchair, "how did u get your name, Piano??".

I just fell victim to a dad joke

Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.
Me: I don't know?
Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
Me: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano...

... A wise man gives his wife an upright o**....

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Some people enjoy roses on their piano....

.... but I prefer two lips on my o**....

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

When a musician's fingers move really fast across a piano, they're considered a prodigy and a genius.

But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the f**..., Emily".

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

when i die I want it to be from being hit by a falling piano

That way my life ends on a dramatic note.

I'm OK at guitar

but I can't pick up the piano.

A friend just got a brand new grand piano

I complimented him on it by saying it plays like a baby. He asked what did I mean by that? I said it's smooth, beautiful, and it makes an unbelievable racket if you kick it down a flight of stairs.

Why couldn't the backbone play the piano?

He only knew the spinal chord

A pianist performing in a subway terminal...

was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.
Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.
I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"
To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."

My piano keyboard is stuck on the clavichord sound setting.

I think it might be baroque.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

It's a medical miracle

A man is recovering from surgery after a car c**..., and he notices that both his hands are covered in casts. When a nurse comes to check on him, he asks "Will I be able to play piano after this?"
"Yes, the casts should come off in a few weeks, then you should be able to play."
"That's funny, I couldn't play piano before the accident."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Liberace was great on the piano.

But he s**... on the o**....

Did you hear about the man who broke a 14 year old piano?

He got arrested for assaulting A minor.

What do you call a laughing piano?

Yamahahahahaha

What's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a bucket of glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish.
 
What about the bucket of glue, you ask?
 
 
I knew you'd get stuck on that part.

How is a piano like a stick shift?

They both have three pedals, and most people only know what two of them do.

You know you spend too much time sitting, playing piano...

...when your Bach hurts

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My grandfather died after being crushed by a piano

His f**... was very low key

Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference"

Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: Ah i knew you'd get stuck on that

What do you call a snowman that plays piano?

Meltin' John

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

For a woman, romance is roses on a piano.

For a man, it's tulips on an o**....

Piano joke, For a woman, romance is roses on a piano.

jokes about piano