Piano Jokes

Following is our collection of minor humor and sonata one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Piano puns for adults, dirty concerto jokes or clean oboe gags for kids.

There is an abundance of pianist jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 82 funniest jokes on piano. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any mineshaft witze you can hear about piano.

The Best jokes about Piano

Why was the piano teacher arrested?

He kept fingering A minor.

What's the difference between tuna, glue and a piano?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna!

Whats better than roses on a piano?

tulips on an organ...

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor

My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler...

... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.


I just fell victim to a dad joke

Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.

Me: I don't know?

Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

Me: What about the glue?

Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.

Why does Elton John play the piano?

Because he sucks on an organ.

Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

I played "My Heart Will Go On" on a public piano and people yelled at me.

Can't wait till this cruise is over.

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

**Crabs on your organ.**


Playing the piano is like living.

I gave up on piano at 7 years old.

When I was a kid I figured out how to play the piano by ear.

After a while I learned that it was easier to use my fingers.

For a woman, romance is roses on a piano.

For a man, it's tulips on an organ.

when i die I want it to be from being hit by a falling piano

That way my life ends on a dramatic note.

My drivers license says I'm an organ donor,

but jokes on them because I own a piano.

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.

Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."


The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.


Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

What do you get if you drop a piano on a military base?

A flat major.

A foolish man gives his wife a grand piano...

... A wise man gives his wife an upright organ.


What chord does a piano make when it drops on a child?

...A-flat minor

When a musician's fingers move really fast across a piano, they're considered a prodigy and a genius.

But when i go even faster on full-screen rhythm games on my iPad, I'm "lazy", "going to get carpal tunnel syndrome", "unproductive", and "ruining the funeral, Emily".ο»Ώ

Doctor will I be able to play piano after the procedure?

Doctor: Yes, I don't see why not.

Patient: That's wonderful I could never play piano before!

If a piano player is called a pianist

Wouldn't a racecar driver be called a racist?

What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat minor.

What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?

B flat.

What do you get if you drop a piano on a Morris Marina?

An episode of Top Gear.

Two gay guys live together

The first guy says, "Let's play hide-and-seek. I'll hide, and if you find me I'll blow you."

The second guys says, "What if I can't find you?"

He says, "I'll be behind the piano."

What do you get when you push a piano out of the second floor window of an elementary school?

A flat minor.

What'll happen if a piano is dropped on a man?

He will B flat

What is Roy Moore's favorite piano key?

A minor

What do you call it when a piano falls on a kids head?

A flat minor

Genie with a flaw

A guy walks into a bar. He sets a bag onto the bar, orders three shots of whiskey, and slams them all back.

The bartender asks, "Hey buddy, what's the problem?"

The guy reaches into the bag, pulls out a little piano, then set it on the bar. He reaches back inside, pulls out a little stool, and sets it in front of the piano. He reaches in one more time, pulls out a little man, and sits him on the stool. The man then proceeds to play a wonderful sonata that fills the establishment and leaves the patrons in awe.

"Wow, that was great!" exclaimed the bartender. "Where'd you find this guy?"

The man reaches into the bag one last time and pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says "Rub it."

The bartender rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The genie says "I shall grant you one wish, whatever your heart desires."

"I want a million bucks!" the bartender shouts.

"It shall be done." And the genie disappears.

A minute later, a duck walks into the bar. And then another duck, and then another. Soon the bar is full of ducks.

"Hey buddy," the bartender says to the man. "I think your genie is a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."

"Yeah," said the man. "Do you think I really asked for a twelve-inch pianist?"

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

Aβ™­m

A man goes to a psychiatrist and says "Doctor, you gotta help me, my wife thinks she's a piano..."

The doc replies, "Well, bring her in and I'll see what I can do."

The man says, "Are you nuts!? Do you know how much it costs to move a piano??"

What's better than roses on your piano?

Two lips on your organ.

A pianist performing in a subway terminal...

was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.

Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.

I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"

To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."

A man walks out of a bar...

He realizes he must be drunk after having seen an Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman drinking together, A horse, 2 chemists (one dead), a piano player, a dog, a monkey, an octopus, 007, an ostrich as well as a befuddled bartender tending to countless men walking into the bar...

It's a medical miracle

A man is recovering from surgery after a car crash, and he notices that both his hands are covered in casts. When a nurse comes to check on him, he asks "Will I be able to play piano after this?"

"Yes, the casts should come off in a few weeks, then you should be able to play."

"That's funny, I couldn't play piano before the accident."

Talented Pets

A tramp goes into a bar and says to the barman 'Gimme a shot of your finest whiskey and I'll show you something amazing.'

The barman agrees and the tramp pulls out a hamster from his pocket and puts it on the piano stool. The hamster then begins to play the most incredible music that anyone in the bar had ever heard.

The tramp gets his shot of whiskey and says 'Another shot of that whiskey for something even more amazing'

The barman agrees and the tramp pulls out a frog, and places it on top of the piano. The frog starts to sing along with the hamster in the most beautiful tenor voice, cadencing perfectly with the hamster.

As the barman is pouring out the whiskey a man comes over to the tramp and says 'I'll give you $10000 for that frog, right here.' The tramp agrees and pockets a check while the man walks away with his frog. Meanwhile, the barman looks in disbelief and says to the tramp 'What're you doing? Those two could've made millions, let alone $10000.' The tramp turns to the barman and says 'Ah, but what he doesn't know, is that the hamster is also an excellent ventriloquist'

How did the catholic priest play the piano?

In A minor.

A man walks into a bar and strolls up to the counter

Without a word he pulls out a miniature piano and a foot tall man from his jacket. The tiny man immediately starts playing a beautiful sonata.

"Thats amazing son. Where in the world did you get him from?", asked the bartender.

The man pulls out a magic lamp and sets it on the counter. "I just rubbed the lamp and made a wish. Wanna try?"

The bartender eagerly nods and rubs the lamp and suddenly the bar is filled with a million ducks.

"Ducks? I didn't wish for a million ducks" the bartender yelled.

"Ya", the man replied "you really think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"

I heard that Elton John was pretty good on the piano

but apparently he sucks on the organ.

Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

So she could sing with the other.

I paid a fish to come over to re-key my guitar, piano and drums.

He was a professional tuna.

A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "come in! We have a magic ashtray that will grant one wish if you buy a pint"

He walks in to a swanky piano lounge which, interestingly, had a dwarf playing the piano.

He buys a pint and the bartender tells him to hold the ashtray and make his wish.

He squints and makes his wish. Suddenly a million ducks start swarming out from behind the bar and begin to cause total chaos.

The man yells to the bartender over the noise "I wished for a million BUCKS not DUCKS!!!"

The bartender yelled back "do you think I wished for a 3 foot pianist!?!"

How is a piano like a stick shift?

They both have three pedals, and most people only know what two of them do.

So a guy walks into a bar...

So a guy walks into a bar one day and he can't believe his eyes. There, in the corner, there's this one-foot-tall man, in a little tuxedo, playing a tiny grand piano.

So the guy asks the bartender, Where'd he come from?

And the bartender's, like, There's a genie in the men's room who grants wishes.

So the guy runs into the men's room and, sure enough, there's this genie. And the genie's, like, Your wish is my command. So the guy's, like, O.K., I wish for world peace. And there's this big cloud of smokeβ€”and then the room fills up with geese.

So the guy walks out of the men's room and he's, like, Hey, bartender, I think your genie might be hard of hearing.

And the bartender's, like, No kidding. You think I wished for a twelve-inch pianist?

A Koala walks into a bar...

A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a BLT sandwich. The Koala eats the BLT sandwich, gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, and proceeds to walk out of the bar. The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "Hey, who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you think you're going!?" The Koala replies, "Hey, I'm a Koala. Look it up." The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up Koala: The dictionary said "n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a 12 inch man playing the piano

So the guy walks up to the bartender and asks where did you find a guy that's a foot tall and can play the piano?

Bartender: I wished for him

Guy: yeah, like I'm gonna believe that

Bartender: no seriously, here you make a wish

So the bartender hands the man a magical genie lamp, and all of the sudden a million ducks appear out of nowhere.

Guy: what is this I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks

Bartender: and you think I wished for a 12inch pianist.

Two guys are delivering a piano...

.... on the 10th floor of a walk-up building. On the 9th floor they rest for one final time.
Guy in the front: "Dude, I got good news and bad news"
Guy in the back: "Tell me the bad news first."
Guy in the front: "We're in the wrong building."
Guy in the back: "And the good news?"
Guy in the front: "We only have one more floor to go."

A man broke the Guinness World Record by playing the same piano key 1,000 times in 1 minute

He then went home and broke the world record for most satisfied girlfriend.

A man broke his hand.

He asked the doctor, "Will I be able to play piano as soon as the cast comes off?"

"Of course!" said the doctor.

The man replied, "Great. I never could before."

Did you hear about the Piano Teacher that slept with his student?

She was A Minor.

Did you hear about child molester who plays the piano?

He was fingering a minor

What does a piano, a tuna and glue have in common?

You can tuna piano but can't piano a tuna

tiny pianist

An oldie, but goodie:

A man walks into a bar and sees a 12 inch pianist playing the piano. He talks to the bartender and says, "That's amazing! Where did you find a 12 inch pianist?"

The bartender replies, "Oh, I have a genie in the back room who grants wishes. Give it a try if you want."

The man goes to the genie and says, "Oh genie, I wish I had a 100 million bucks." The genie nods his head and a few seconds later there's a puff of smoke and 100 million ducks fly over the man's head.

The man goes back to the bartender and complains, "I wished for 100 million bucks, not 100 million ducks!"

And the bartender says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

my pre school guitar teacher...

got in trouble for fingering A minor, but he wasn't as bad as bad as my pre school violin teacher...he fiddled with kids... but both were not nearly as bad as my pre school piano teacher....who raped me in the mouth

What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord?

A-minor

What's R. Kelly's favorite chord to play on the piano?

A Minor

It's the oldest joke in the book, but I love it.

A guy walks into a bar and notices a man about a foot tall playing a little piano. He asks the bartender why the little man is there, and he responds "I'll explain in a minute. First, make a wish on this magic beer bottle."

The guy says "Ok, sure"

He goes to the bottle and rubs it and a genie appears.
"You have one wish", he says.

The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room, and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.

The guy looks at the bartender and says, "Hey! What gives? I didn't want a million ducks!"

The bartender laughs, 'You think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?

Really Big Lighter

A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter. He asks the man, Where did you get such a big lighter?

The man replies, See the man playing piano over there? He's a genie and he'll grant you one wish.

So the guy walks over to the genie and says, I wish for a million bucks. All of a sudden the room fills up with a million ducks.

The man walks over to the guy with the lighter and says, That genie is a little hard of hearing isn't he.

The guy replies, No kidding! You think I asked for a 14 inch Bic!

A guy walks into a bar...

and takes a seat. After ordering a beer, he pulls out a little 10 inch man playing a matching piano, and sets it on the bar.

The guy next to him says, "Hey, that's pretty cool! Where did you get that?"

He replies, "I got it from my genie, you just have to rub this magic lamp."

He then hands the guy the lamp, he rubs it, and a genie comes out.

The genie says, "You may have one wish!"

The guy, all excited, says, "I want a million bucks!"

Genie says, "Your wish is my command". He waves his arms, and one million ducks start flying through the bar.

The guy, confused and a little upset, yells, "Hey! I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!?"

Guy who gave him the lamp says, "Yeah, you think I asked for a 10 inch pianist?"

Guy walks into a bar...

...and orders a drink. He's carrying a brown paper bag, which he sets down on the bar.

The bartender asks "What's in the bag?" The guy says "Wanna see?" He reaches into the bag and pulls out a very tiny grand piano and sets it on the bar. Then he reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny man dressed in a tuxedo. The little man sits down at the little piano and begins playing a song.

The bartender says "That's amazing! Where'd you get that?"

The guy explains he found a djinni's lamp, rubbed it, and was offered one wish from the djinni within.

"Have you still got that lamp? Can I give it a try?"

"Sure," says the man, reaching back into the bag and pulling out the djinni's lamp.

The bartender takes the lamp and rubs it. The djinni emerges and tells the bartender he can have one wish.

"Um... I wanna be rich!" exclaims the bartender. "I want a million bucks!" POOF! Suddenly the bar is filled with ducks. A million ducks.

"Hey!" complains the bartender. "I wished for a million *bucks* not ducks! Is your djinni hard of hearing or something?!"

To which the man says "You don't really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist, do you?"

A man walks into a bar and puts a shoebox down on the table...

He says, "I'll have a beer and a shot of Jack Daniels for my friend in the box."
The bartender looks down and sees a small man playing the piano. He brings the drinks and then asks, "Where'd you get this little guy?"
The man at the bar replies, "I was walking on the beach when I found a bottle lying in the sand. I was dusting it off when a genie came out and this was my first wish."
The bartender is thinking that maybe he can trade something for this guys wish. Now, this guy is feeling pretty generous so he agrees to giving up his second wish in exchange for free food and drinks. The bartender grabs the bottle, rubs it, and exclaims, "I wish for a million bucks!"
Then, the door slams open and a million white ducks come marching into the bar.
The man at the bar says, "I think the genie is hard of hearing."
"What makes you say that?" asks the bartender.
"You think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"

I'm OK at guitar

but I can't pick up the piano.

What's Darth Vader's stage name when he plays his electric piano?

The synth lord

Best Genie Joke I Know

A man walks into a bar and sets a tiny piano down then pulls out a tiny man who starts playing a beautiful song. The bartender says, "wow, where did you get him!?". The man replies,"there is a genie in the parking lot giving away one free wish to anyone that asks". The bartender shouts, "drinks are on the house" then runs out to the parking lot.

A few minutes later the bartender returns with a bunch of ducks following him. Puzzled he says to the man,"I don't know what's wrong with that genie, I asked him for a million bucks and now all these ducks are following me". The man replies,"you think I asked him for a twelve inch pianist?"

Inside the paper bag

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag.

He sits down and places the bag on the counter.

The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about

9" high and sets him on the counter.

He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting

it on the counter as well.

He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench,

which he places in front of the piano.

The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful
Piece by Mozart!

"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.

This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and

says: "Here. Rub it."

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke

and a beautiful genie is standing before him.

"I will grant you one wish... Just one wish... each person is only

allowed one!"

The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want

A million bucks!"

A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed

by another duck, then another.

Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your

genie's' a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."

"No kidding!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 9 inch Pianist?"

What is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs?

Be sharp or Be flat.

Little Piano Player

A man walks into a bar. He looks at the counter and see a tiny man, no more than a foot tall, playing a piano just as small. So the man walks up to the bartender and asks him about the tiny piano player.

The bartender say "I got him from the genie in the mens bathroom"

So the man goes into the bathroom and see a woman inside talking to the genie

"I wish for world peace" she said

Then suddenly the room is flooded with geese. The man walks out of the bathroom and goes back to the bartender.

"I think your genie is a little hard of hearing" he says

"Yeah I know" the bartender replies "Do you really think I would wish for a 12 inch pianist"

What the difference between playing a piano and dropping a piano?

One sounds like Thelonius Monk, and the other sounds like a melodious "thunk!".

If you show me a piano falling down a mine shaft...

I'll show you Aflat minor.

[NSFW] What's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

I saw a Norse god discreetly playing 49Hz notes on a piano in space...

I thought to myself: "What a low G low G low key low key Loki."

If you drop a piano down a mineshaft, what in what key will it play when it lands?

A flat minor.

You know you spend too much time sitting, playing piano...

...when your Bach hurts

What's more romantic than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

What's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a bucket of glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish.

 

What about the bucket of glue, you ask?

 

 

I knew you'd get stuck on that part.

My grandfather died after being crushed by a piano

His funeral was very low key

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

Neither has he.

Once Upon a Time in the West, a Bear Walked into a Saloon..

As he enters, the piano stops playing, the poker players put down their cards, and the room goes silent, except for the ticking of the Grandfather clock in the corner. The bear stands in the doorway a few seconds, surveying the saloon, before walking to the bar. Whiskey, he growls. The bartender slides a shot glass of rotgut down the bar, which the bear snags with his good arm and gulps down. Another, he says. He downs the second whiskey, belches, swivels slowly on his barstool to face the room, and announces, ** Ah'm lookin' fer the man that shot muh paw. **

Whats the difference between a piano a can of tuna and a bucket of glue...

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna









(Random person) "what about the bucket of glue?"


(You) "I knew you would get stuck on that"

This guy walks into a bar

Asks the bartender for a drink then pulls out a small piano and a man about a foot tall. The little man sits at the piano and begins playing a beautiful Beethoven sonata.

Amazed, the bartender asks to find out the story behind this mini musician.

The man tells the bartender that he was on vacation in Costa Rica and after a long night of partying he decided to talk a walk on the beach. While walking, the man trips over something in the sand. He pulls it out and dusts it off. Immediately after dusting, a genie pops out and says you may have 1 wish, anything you'd like.

Before the man could continue, the bartender interrups and says "so you wished for a 12 inch pianist?"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes