Pianist Jokes

Laugh in tune with these comical jokes about pianists! Whether you’re a fan of classical, jazz or even a guitarist, these jokes will have you tickling the ivories. Get ready to laugh to your heart’s content with these jokes that feature everyone from Liszt to your neighbor with a piano.

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Pianist Jokes with Friends.

What does a pianist say when they're chopping food?

>!I be Chopin!<

I was in a highbrow bar at the Ritz Carlton, and their Pianist was asking folks for requests.

I said to him, "Can you play an Etude by Chopin?"

He replied, "Which one?"

I responded, "The composer."

How did the Pianist play without fingers?

Not very well at all...

Why was the pianist arrested?

He was assaulting A Minor.

jokes about pianist

Why was the pianist arrested?

He was caught playing in A minor.

If Arnold Schwarzenegger were a pianist..

He'd be Bach.

My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party

I think she misunderstood me. I did not say I wished I had a 12 inch pianist.

Pianist joke, My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party

A man walks into a bar and sees a tiny man playing a tiny piano.

He asks the bartender about it and is tould that there is a genie in the bar that will give a one a free wish. Then, the bartender tells him that somebody asked for a million bucks the day before but was instead given a million ducks, so the genie must be hard of hearing. So the man asks the bartender "what did you ask for" and the bartender said "do you really think that I asked for a twelve inch pianist."

This great pianist had...

the smoothest of fingers and could play anything you asked of him. Later in life however, he always seemed to play a key off. His eyesight had declined and he could no longer C#.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

The title of this post is the joke.

Why are pianists so punctual?

They can't lock their keys in their car.

You can explore pianist liszt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pianist violist dad jokes. There are also pianist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What car does a German pianist drive?


Musicians are perverts.

The drummer sits in the back beating it, the guitarist is constantly f**... minors, the bassist is slapping it around, and they all like the pianist.

My school janitor is a part-time pianist.

He has 88 keys.

Why was the classical pianist always going down on his wife?

Because he loved Debussy

What do you call a stinky pianist with a penchant for both crime and dissonance? [OC]

Felonious Skunk

Pianist joke, What do you call a stinky pianist with a penchant for both crime and dissonance? [OC]

It's a well know fact that Elton John is an excellent pianist.

But did you know he s**... on the o**...?

A pianist is currently on trial.

He was accused of f**... A Minor.

How do pianists remember which groceries to buy?

They use a Chopin Liszt!

Why did the pianist go to jail?

Because he would only play with A Minor

A priest....

A priest, an Irishman, a horse, a gorilla, a twelve inch pianist and an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The bartender says "Is this some kind of a joke?"

If a piano player is called a pianist

Wouldn't a racecar driver be called a racist?

Why did the pianist go to jail?

Because he tapped *A Minor*

A concert promoter was fired for claiming he had the worlds largest piano player booked when he was only 5' 8"...

Just another case of a man lying about the size of his pianist.

Which musician drinks the most?

...the pianist.

How was the pianist executed?

The Chopin block.

Pianist joke, How was the pianist executed?

What should pianists take with them to the supermarket?

A Chopin Liszt.

Where do pianists put their groceries while they shop?

In a Chopin cart.

So a man walks into a miniature jazz themed s**... club...

And whips out his 6 inch pianist

What's better than Roses on your Piano?

Tulips on your o**...!

This one is courtesy of my girlfriend, who is a classically trained pianist and organist.

A restaurant owner says that he employs a 2-meter tall musician.

The musician was 160 cms tall, just another man exaggerating the size of his pianist.

Why is someone who plays the piano called a pianist...

... but a person who drives race cars not called a racist?

What is the difference between 16 ounces of butter and a pianist?

One weighs a pound, the other pounds away.

An italian, an Irishman, a German, a talking dog,

a lesbian, a cowboy, the pope, a gambling midget, the president, and a ten inch pianist all walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at all of them and says:

"What is this, a joke?"

What did the pianist say to the cave diver?

C Sharp or B Flat

How many pianists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10... 1 to do it, and 9 to complain about their technique, timing, structure or the socket, and choice of bulb.

I always wondered 🤔

Why is a person who play the piano called a pianist but a person who races not called a racist?

What's the greatest fear of a pianist that has children and lives next to a road?

A-flat minor.

A pianist performing in a subway terminal...

was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.

Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.

I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"

To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."

A horse, a man, a talking dog and a twelve-inch pianist all walk into a bar

The barman says: "Is this meant to be some kind of joke?"

Why did the pianist go to jail?

For f**... A minor.

Which pianist likes deforestation?


Why do cops make terrible pianist?

They only hit the black keys.

What's a p**... and a pianist favourite thing?

A minor.

Sigmund Freud walks into a bar

Sits down and orders a banana daiquiri and a hotdog. He looks over to the stage and Mozart comes out and starts going crazy on a keyboard. Freud downs his drink, flips a few tables and runs out angrily. Mozart looks at the barman and asks, "What was that about?" The barman replies. "Pianist envy."

A pianist was trying to be unique by lying down on the floor and playing the piano simultaneously during a concert.

Needless to say, he was flat.

I told my agent that I could sightread music like a world class pianist

I forgot to mention that pianist was Stevie Wonder

Elton John is a great pianist

but I hear he s**... on the o**...

A man sits at a bar and produces a small piano along with a 12 inch pianist.

Barman asks how did he come to have such a small pianist in his care?

With an annoyed look the man says "I met a Genie who had a hearing problem".

What's The Difference Between A Pianist And A Pope.

The Pianist Doesn't Get Arrested For f**... A Minor

So a pianist and his girlfriend go on a date to a restaurant.

They both order some exquisite and expensive food, and when it comes time to play their bill, the girlfriend offers to pay. Problem is, she forgot all her money and she asks if the pianist can pay for it. I can't, he says. I'm Baroque.

Why did the pianist get arrested?

He touched A Minor.

If a professional piano player is a pianist..

..then a professional race player is a racist?

*rap musicians scurrying about*

Three Surgeons meet in a bar...

Three Surgeons meet in a bar and talk about their work. The first one says "I sew 2 fingers that were cut off back on a guys hand, and I did it so well that he still became a famous pianist". The second one says "Thats nothing, I sew a guys legs back to his torso and did it so well that he still was able to win gold in the olympics". The third one says "a cowboy and his horse were hit by a train and the only thing i had left to work with was the guys a**... and the horses blond mane. I did my best and the guy became president of the USA".

Blind man walks into a bar

And says to the bartender: hey wanna hear a blonde joke?
Bartender says: listen pal, I'm blonde, the two marines next to you are blonde, the pianist is blonde, and the bouncer is blonde. Now, are you sure you want to make a blonde joke?
Blind man: nah, not if I have to explain it 5 times!

Since professional piano players are called pianist

then why aren't race car drivers called racest

I have the eyes of an artist, the mind of a scientist, the hands of a pianist, and the heart of a child.

Now I'm getting the electric chair after I was caught trying to get the liver of a politician.

What do you call a poor classical pianist?


I was the pianist in a piano bar

Customer walks up to me and asks Can you play Strawberry Fields Forever?

No, after a few hours my fingers get tired

I found out my pianist boyfriend was bi

He says he really likes debussy

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pianist orchestra puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pianist classical pianist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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