Pianist Jokes
87 pianist jokes and hilarious pianist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pianist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh in tune with these comical jokes about pianists! Whether you’re a fan of classical, jazz or even a guitarist, these jokes will have you tickling the ivories. Get ready to laugh to your heart’s content with these jokes that feature everyone from Liszt to your neighbor with a piano.
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Funniest Pianist Short Jokes
Short pianist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pianist humour may include short guitarist jokes also.
- Why did the pianist switch to accordion? He needed a portable instrument to chase away his enemies.
- I was the pianist in a piano bar Customer walks up to me and asks Can you play strawberry Fields Forever?
No, after a few hours my fingers get tired - A concert promoter was fired for claiming he had the worlds largest piano player booked when he was only 5' 8"... Just another case of a man lying about the size of his pianist.
- A pianist was trying to be unique by lying down on the floor and playing the piano simultaneously during a concert. Needless to say, he was flat.
- A priest.... A priest, an Irishman, a horse, a gorilla, a twelve inch pianist and an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Is this some kind of a joke?" - I always wondered 🤔 Why is a person who play the piano called a pianist but a person who races not called a racist?
- I told my agent that I could sightread music like a world class pianist I forgot to mention that pianist was Stevie Wonder
- A restaurant owner says that he employs a 2-meter tall musician. The musician was 160 cms tall, just another man exaggerating the size of his pianist.
- How was the pianist executed? The Chopin block.
- People who play the piano are pianists People who do science are scientists
People who race cars are racists
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Pianist One Liners
Which pianist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pianist? I can suggest the ones about piano and musical.
- If a piano player is called a pianist Wouldn't a racecar driver be called a racist?
- Why was the pianist arrested? He was caught playing in A minor.
- If Arnold Schwarzenegger were a pianist.. He'd be Bach.
- Why did the pianist go to jail? Because he tapped *A Minor*
- I wrote a book about famous pianists It covers all the key players
- Why do pianists need so many knives? They have to do a lot of Chopin.
- How did the Pianist play without fingers? Not very well at all...
- What should pianists take with them to the supermarket? A Chopin Liszt.
- What do you call a poor classical pianist? Baroque
- Why do cops make terrible pianist? They only hit the black keys.
- What's a pianist's favourite thing to do? Go Chopin
- What note does a narcissistic pianists use to tune a piano? Mi mi mi mi mi
- Which pianist likes deforestation? Chopin
- Where do pianists put their groceries while they shop? In a Chopin cart.
- I found out my pianist boyfriend was bi He says he really likes debussy
Classical Pianist Jokes
Here is a list of funny classical pianist jokes and even better classical pianist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was the classical pianist always going down on his wife? Because he loved Debussy
- You know what they say about Japanese pianists... They sure do put the crass in classic!
Jazz Pianist Jokes
Here is a list of funny jazz pianist jokes and even better jazz pianist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Who is a great American jazz pianist and also a great puppeteer? Herbie Handsock
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Pianist Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about pianist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean orchestra jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pianist pranks.
What does a pianist say when they're chopping food?
>!I be Chopin!<
I was in a highbrow bar at the Ritz Carlton, and their Pianist was asking folks for requests.
I said to him, "Can you play an Etude by Chopin?"
He replied, "Which one?"
I responded, "The composer."
12 inch Pianist
One day, a man walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot tall man playing the piano. He asks the bartender how he got the 12 inch pianist. The bartender says, "Oh yeah, there is a genie out back behind the bar!" so the man walks out behind the bar and asks the genie for 1,000,000 bucks. Sure enough, the genie poofed up a million ducks. So the man goes back inside the bar, and he says to the bartender, " I asked for a million bucks, but it gave me a million ducks!" Then the bartender says smugly, "You really think I would ask for a twelve inch pianist?"
A man walks into a bar...(note: better told than read)
A man (Bill) walks into a bar, and takes a ten-inch pianist out of his pocket, and puts it on the bar. The Pianist then starts to play Mozart's 7th perfectly. Another man (Jim) walks up to Bill and says, "Wow, that's amazing! where'd you get him?" Bill says, "There's this genie down the street that will grant you one wish, but just a warning, he's a little hard of hearing". Jim then goes to the genie and says, "I wish for a million bucks." suddenly a million ducks fall from the sky. Jim says to the genie, "I wished for a million BUCKS, not ducks!" The genie just shrugs, and walks back into his house. Jim then goes back to the bar, and says to Bill, "I wished for a million bucks, but all I got was a million ducks!" Bill says, "Well ya. Do you really think I wished for a ten-inch pianist."
tiny pianist
An oldie, but goodie:
A man walks into a bar and sees a 12 inch pianist playing the piano. He talks to the bartender and says, "That's amazing! Where did you find a 12 inch pianist?"
The bartender replies, "Oh, I have a genie in the back room who grants wishes. Give it a try if you want."
The man goes to the genie and says, "Oh genie, I wish I had a 100 million bucks." The genie nods his head and a few seconds later there's a puff of smoke and 100 million ducks fly over the man's head.
The man goes back to the bartender and complains, "I wished for 100 million bucks, not 100 million ducks!"
And the bartender says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
When pianists fall in love what is their favourite position ?
the four hands (you dirty minds)
12-inch Pianist
One day a man walks into a bar and to his amazement, he finds a tiny person playing a tiny piano.
Stunned the man asked the bartender where he got this amazing person. The
bartender replied that inside the closet there is a genie that will grant him a single wish.
The man dashed into the the closet and as the bartender said, there was a genie inside.
Without hesitation the man wished for a million bucks, but instead 1 million ducks
instantly appeared. Infuriated the man stormed to the bartender and screamed
"I think your genie is hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks but instead I got a million ducks."
The bartender shook his head and replied, "You're telling me... Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party
I think she misunderstood me. I did not say I wished I had a 12 inch pianist.
A man walks into a bar and sees a tiny man playing a tiny piano.
He asks the bartender about it and is tould that there is a genie in the bar that will give a one a free wish. Then, the bartender tells him that somebody asked for a million bucks the day before but was instead given a million ducks, so the genie must be hard of hearing. So the man asks the bartender "what did you ask for" and the bartender said "do you really think that I asked for a twelve inch pianist."
This great pianist had...
the smoothest of fingers and could play anything you asked of him. Later in life however, he always seemed to play a key off. His eyesight had declined and he could no longer C#.
The 12-inch pianist
One day a man walks into a bar and to his amazement, he finds a tiny person playing a tiny
piano. Stunned the man asked the bartender where he got this amazing person. The
bartender replied that inside the closet there is a genie that will grant him a single wish.
The man dashed into the the closet and as the bartender said, there was a genie inside.
Without hesitation the man wished for a million bucks, but instead 1 million ducks
instantly appeared. Infuriated the man stormed to the bartender and screamed
"I think your genie is hard of hearing, I asked for a million bucks but instead I got a million ducks."
The bartender shook his head and replied, "You're telling me... Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
What is better than a rose on a guitarist?
Tulips on my pianist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a black guy who plays the piano?
a pianist
What did the pianist do when someone smashed his piano?
He played many more pieces.
Why are pianists so punctual?
They can't lock their keys in their car.
What car does a German pianist drive?
Einaudi
Why was the pianist so depressed?
Because they weren't good at Chopin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Musicians are perverts.
The drummer sits in the back beating it, the guitarist is constantly f**... minors, the bassist is slapping it around, and they all like the pianist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Long]Three Toronto surgeons were playing golf together
and discussing surgeries they had performed..
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Ontario. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident;
I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.
The second surgeon said.. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident;
I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold Medal in track and field events in the Olympics.
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs . Several years ago a man was high on c**... and m**...
and he rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour.
All I had left to work with was the man's blonde hair and the Horse's a**....
I was able to put them together and now he's running for President of the U..S.A!"
My school janitor is a part-time pianist.
He has 88 keys.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a stinky pianist with a penchant for both crime and dissonance?
Felonious Skunk
Sometimes you just need a cunning linguist to get a tiny pianist joke.
[[ Obligatory text]]
A man walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish.
The man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friend what happened, and his friend replied, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pianist is currently on trial.
He was accused of f**... A Minor.
Which musician drinks the most?
...the pianist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 surgeons discuss who is the best surgeon of them.
Says the one: "I am the best surgeon of Texas! A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I sewed them on and tomorrow he gives a private concert for the queen."
Says the second: "This is nothing! A young man lost both his arms and his legs in an accident. I stitched them back on and two years later he won the gold medal in the olympic games!"
Says the 3rd: "Amateurs! A few years ago a cowboy rode s**... and drunk in front of a train. All that remained were his b**... and the blonde mane of his horse. I did the surgery on him and today he is the president of the United States."
A man walks into a bar
and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish. So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friend what happend, and his friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
What was Mozart's street name?
Massive Pianist
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a man walks into a miniature jazz themed s**... club...
And whips out his 6 inch pianist
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist
He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish.
He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish.
So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads.
He goes back in and tells his friend what happend? and his friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
What is the difference between 16 ounces of butter and a pianist?
One weighs a pound, the other pounds away.
A Man Walks into a Bar...
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish. So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friend what happened, and his friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
What did the pianist say to the cave diver?
C Sharp or B Flat
My friend invited me to a piano concert the other night. The concert was going well till...
Ladies and gentleman, for my next piece, I am going to be playing the piano in a way no other pianists have ever attempted to do so, which is...
The pianist then proceeded to lie down on the ground facing up, arms extending to the reach the keys of the grand piano. Thereafter, continuing with his piece.
Sounds a bit odd, ain't it? I whispered to my friend, to which he replied...
Well, if you haven't noticed, he's actually flat.
What's the greatest fear of a pianist that has children and lives next to a road?
A-flat minor.
A pianist performing in a subway terminal...
was playing beautifully. I was only offput by the weird looking kid with a dunce cap sitting atop the piano.
Suddenly, the weird looking kid with the dunce cap jumped up and scurried off. The piano player abruptly stopped playing.
I asked him, "why did you stop playing?"
To which he replied, "I cannot play piano without my metro-gnome."
A horse, a man, a talking dog and a twelve-inch pianist all walk into a bar
The barman says: "Is this meant to be some kind of joke?"
Sigmund Freud walks into a bar
Sits down and orders a banana daiquiri and a hotdog. He looks over to the stage and Mozart comes out and starts going crazy on a keyboard. Freud downs his drink, flips a few tables and runs out angrily. Mozart looks at the barman and asks, "What was that about?" The barman replies. "Pianist envy."
If a person that plays a piano is called a pianist...
Then why isn't a person who races called a racist?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
elton John is a great pianist
but I hear he s**... on the o**...
A man sits at a bar and produces a small piano along with a 12 inch pianist.
Barman asks how did he come to have such a small pianist in his care?
With an annoyed look the man says "I met a Genie who had a hearing problem".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's The Difference Between A Pianist And A pope.
The Pianist Doesn't Get Arrested For f**... A Minor
So a pianist and his girlfriend go on a date to a restaurant.
They both order some exquisite and expensive food, and when it comes time to play their bill, the girlfriend offers to pay. Problem is, she forgot all her money and she asks if the pianist can pay for it. I can't, he says. I'm Baroque.
The Pianist
A man walks into a bar with a 12 inch tall pianist. He starts to play wonderfull music. Everyone applauds him. I ask the man who brought the pianist in, "How does he do that?" The man says that there is a genie outside granting wishes to everyone. I ran outside and there is a lamp on the floor. When I rubbed the lamp the genie came out and asked what my wish was. I asked for a 100 bucks. When he snapped his fingers, a 100 ducks fell out of the sky. I told the man in the bar that he gave me 100 ducks instead of 100 bucks. The man with the pianist says, "Yeah, do you really wish I had a 12 inch Pianist?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a professional piano player is a pianist..
..then a professional race player is a racist?
*rap musicians scurrying about*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three Surgeons meet in a bar...
Three Surgeons meet in a bar and talk about their work. The first one says "I sew 2 fingers that were cut off back on a guys hand, and I did it so well that he still became a famous pianist". The second one says "Thats nothing, I sew a guys legs back to his torso and did it so well that he still was able to win gold in the olympics". The third one says "a cowboy and his horse were hit by a train and the only thing i had left to work with was the guys a**... and the horses blond mane. I did my best and the guy became president of the USA".
Blind man walks into a bar
And says to the bartender: hey wanna hear a blonde joke?
Bartender says: listen pal, I'm blonde, the two marines next to you are blonde, the pianist is blonde, and the bouncer is blonde. Now, are you sure you want to make a blonde joke?
Blind man: nah, not if I have to explain it 5 times!
