Physics Professor Jokes
43 physics professor jokes and hilarious physics professor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about physics professor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Physics Professor Short Jokes
Short physics professor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The physics professor humour may include short chemistry professor jokes also.
- At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, Can you tell me what happened before The Big Bang? The professor replied, Sorry. No Time.
- A physics student asked her professor to describe what happened right before the Big Bang... ....but the professor couldn't, because there was no time.
- After the physics lecture ended, I asked my professor What happened before The Big Bang? He said, Sorry. There is no Time.
- What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler.
Courtesy of my physics professor. - A Physics student is standing on the roof of a building preparing to leap to his death.... His professor calls out to him, "Stop! You have so much potential!"
- What is the difference between a maths professor and a physics professor? You can get mathematical with the maths professor.
- A physics student was about to jump off a roof His professor called out to him Stop! You have so much potential!
- This popped into my head in class the other day... Why do professors like stats and physics students?
Because they'll work for p naughts. - What did the Physics professor say to the fat kid in school? "You've got a lot of potential!"
- My old physics professor: Times flies when you're having fun, Or as frogs say, times fun when you're having flies...
That was a long semester
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Physics Professor One Liners
Which physics professor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with physics professor? I can suggest the ones about physics teacher and physicist.
- How Long is a battleship. True or false? False. How Long is a man from China.
- What does my physics professor have in common with Gandalf? YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!
- Why do physics professors prefer overweight students? They have greater potential.
- Physics student asks to go to bathroom Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas"
- when professor starts lecturing on first day of intro physics Can we0
- How did Professor Duck explain particle physics to his class? Quark quark.
- Two quantum mechanics professors had s**... They must have had physical chemistry.
- Why did the classical physics professor lose his job? He s**... at his work.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Physics Professor Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about physics professor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean physicist mathematician jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make physics professor pranks.
I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".
But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
At a frat party, a young man fell off the balcony and tragically passed away
His physics professor came to give a eulogy. He said He was such a brilliant student. Right at the end of his life, he had so much potential.
"Don't jump!"
One day, a man decided he'd had enough of his life, and went to the balcony of the 30th floor of his office building. He stepped onto the ledge and shouted "I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna jump!"
A physics professor passing by heard the commotion and looked up. He shouted back to the man "Don't do it! Don't jump! You've got so much potential!"
My physics professor fails any student turning in a report without a blue coversheet
After working on my report all night, I accidentally used a white coversheet in a sleepless stupor. When I got to class the next morning, I panicked and threw the report at him at close to the speed of light!
I got a B+
A college student slowly walks into a bar and orders a beer. He starts talking to the bartender.
"What a day. Our physics professor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus." The student complains. "If she wasn't so drop dead gorgeous I would've dropped the class already." The bartender looks at him and says "So you could say she's easy on the eyes, but hard on the pupils?"
Wisdom, Beauty, or Money
At a meeting of the college faculty, an angel suddenly appears and tells the head of the Physics department, I will grant you whichever of three blessings you choose: Wisdom, Beauty—or ten million dollars.
Immediately, the professor chooses Wisdom.
There is a ash of lightning, and the professor appears transformed, but he just sits there, staring down at the table. One of his colleagues whispers, Say something.
The professor says, I should have taken the money.
Life saving
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff? " the frustrated student blurted out. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives? "The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he finally continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school. "
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
A professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives." The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor.
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert and that occasional situations would arise where somebody would come fetch me for consultation. I would burst into the room wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, "did somebody say let's get physics Al?
A physics professor and his assistant...
A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"
My Engineering Physics Professor told me that I would pass my class "When pigs fly"
I studied hard and applied this wisdom to my senior project.
He never specified that the pig was required to ***sustain*** flight, but I'm assuming that's the reason why I was expelled.
A cop car pulls over Heisenberg as he's driving on the highway...
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going sir?
Heisenberg: No, but I know where I am.
Officer: Well, you were going EXACTLY 100 mph.
Heisenberg: Great! Now I'm lost!
Shout-out to my physics professor for making the Heisenberg uncertainty principle less boring today.
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
A life-saving topic
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a student interrupted him.
Why do we have to learn this stuff? , the frustrated student blurted out.
The professor ignored him and continued the lecture.
"I mean, why is this even required as a course? Why do I need to care about this?", the student continued.
"Because physics helps save lives," said the professor, turning back to the chalkboard.
Not satisfied, the student spoke up again.
So how does physics save lives?
The professor stopped, stared at the student, and responded, "Because it keeps the idiots like you out of medical school.
Physics saves lives
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him."Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out."To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he finally continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
A physicist, mathematician and a priest are trapped in a burning Skyscraper...
On the ground is a huge swimmingpool. Their only chance to survive is to jump into it. The Priest looks at it, prays for 20 min. says "God will help me" jumps, misses and dies.
The physician looks down, approximates some values, writes down some constants and makes a small experiment, calculates 5 min. says "I hope I remembered the constants well enough", jumps and lands safely in the pool.
The mathematician takes out his notebook and in an attempt to come up with a general solution and its proof, spends 2h writing furiously. "This has to work", he says, jumps and flies upwards in a steep curve. He made a sign error.
(Joke from our Physics professor, the room was dying laughing. I hope I didnt screw up too badly translating this from german, have mercy)