Phrases About Jokes
119 phrases about jokes and hilarious phrases about puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about phrases about that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Phrases About Short Jokes
Short phrases about jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The phrases about humour may include short expressions about jokes also.
- Whoever coined the phrase dad bod missed a golden opportunity... Should've called it "the Father-figure"
- Even at school they thought I had special powers; what was the phrase… 'Constant super-vision.'
- I used to work in restaurants before switching to information technology... ... The biggest difference is that the phrase "my server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.
- 50% of being a lawyer is the ability to use latin phrases that people don't understand the other 50% is *ad hoc ergo propter hoc*
- I really like oxymorons. Phrases like jumbo shrimp, organized chaos, open secret Or United States of America.
- My aunt's parrot can say over 30 phrases, but each one is offensive and belittling. I say parrot, it's actually more of a mockingbird.
- My friend told me I always say phrases wrong But he's not the brightest knife in the chandelier
- Why is the most difficult phrase to pronounce if you have a lisp? I love you
Source: my father has a lisp - warning sign on children's alphabet blocks Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
- I went to the theatre today, the stage was covered in random phrases... I guess it was a 'play on words'
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Phrases About One Liners
Which phrases about one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with phrases about? I can suggest the ones about idioms about and one phrase.
- How many of the phrases in English are palindrome? Not a ton
- Don't make fun of people who stammer They're just going through a phrase.
- You can't just.... ... abbreviate phrases William Nilliam
- Teacher: What is the tense of the phrase "I am beautiful" Student: Past
- What's a phrase you can't stand to hear? "Sorry sir, but we had to amputate both legs.."
- I hate the misuse of Latin phrases... ...and vice versa.
- Third time's a charm... Is a much darker phrase in Germany
- what's the most commonly used phrase by artists? Would you like fries with that.
- My friend William joined the army He is uncomfortable with the phrase "Fire at Will"
- A woman called me a bit of a looker Well, "peeping Tom" was the phrase she actually used.
- I'm really bad at understanding some common phrases and vice versa.
- I get confused with these Latin phrases. Is it carpe tunnel or per diem?
- You know the only phrase that keeps me human? You are what you eat.
- Due to inflation The phrase "a dime a dozen" has gone up to "a dollar a dozen"
- You know which phrase I really hate? Pet peeve.
Phrases About Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about phrases about you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean word phrase jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make phrases about pranks.
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Take it Like a Man
"Take it like a man" is a phrase that means something completely different if one is hit in the c**....
I feel like I use the phrase "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it" too often...
I feel like I use the phrase "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it" too often. It hasn't been a real problem yet though, so I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it.
2 parrots
A woman tells her priest, Father, I have a problem. My two female parrots only say, 'Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?'
Don't worry, says the priest. I have two male parrots who only pray and read the Bible. We'll put them in the same cage—your parrots are sure to stop saying that horrid phrase.
The next day, the woman takes her parrots to the priest's home. The male parrots are inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. When the woman places the female parrots in the cage, they cry out, Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?
One male says to the other, Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!
What do you call a Psychic Compromise?
A Happy Medium.
Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.
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Paraprosdokians
*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....
All-Girls High School
"The number one most commonly used phrase in any all-girls high school is 'behind my back!'
The second most common is 'right to my face!'"
- Celia Pacquola
Throughout the history of espionage, the phrase "We have ways of making you talk."
Has yet to be used on a woman.
The man's best friend
You know the phrase "the dog is the man's best friend"?
Well, I can prove it's true!
Just lock up your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car and one hour later... guess who is gonna be happy to see you!!
My daughter came home from school with an assignment that asked to to finish the phrase, "I have a dream..." this is what she came up with.
I have a dream...
That one day handicap people will be able to park wherever they want to.
How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?
You take the letter "f" out of the word "way"
(there's no f in way)
*joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said
A man goes into a bar where, instead of drinks, they sell words and phrases...
he asks the barman if they sell entendres. The barman says "yes" so the man says "ok, I'll have a double" and the barman says "oh, you mean a large one".
Yo-yo ma goes into a new bar and starts slurring his phrases...
The crowd goes wild.
Looking for jokes with "Where do" and "When do"
I teach English in Japan, and my next lesson is "Where/when do". For instance, "Where do you play tennis?"
I'm looking for some clean jokes that start with either of these phrases.
So far, the only one I have is
"Where do cows go on the weekends?"
"The mooooovies."
Any help is appreciated!
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What is the main difference between a drag show and a drag race?
The phrase "I blew a t**..." means something totally different.
Where did Santa meet his wife?
Conjunction Junction. They specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses
What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?
Wars end.
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The common phrase to express somethings simplicity is
"its not rocket science...". But what do rocket scientists say to each other? "Come on Doug, its not.....s**...."
My mother is like cloud storage.
Everyone shares her and i have no idea where she's located.
Ps: I don't know if i phrased everything correctly.
Why are there no guys named William serving in the army?
Because they dislike the phrase "Fire at Will"
Where does the phrase, "It's raining cats and dogs" come from?
A tornado and an animal shelter
A teacher asked me why my daughter's name was so weird...
She asked why I had spelled it like E.M.M.A instead of just Emma, and I said that it describes the phrase that I told people when I let them know my SO was pregnant,
"Everyone. Makes. Mistakes. Alright?"
What do you call a website full of common Indian phrases and slang?
Turban Dictionary
The phrase used to be "Fight or flight"...
Now it's "Re-accommodate or flight"
What catch phrase do white girls and statisticians share in common?
"That's totally random"
My sister was getting curious...
My younger sister asked my dad: "What does the phrase 'the birds and the bees' mean?"
My dad replied, "Well, they have the same relationship that trees and flowers have."
"What is that supposed to mean?" my sister exclaimed, to which my dad replied:
"They both beat around the bush."
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What two word phrase is most often said after two cousin finish having s**...?
"Roll tide"
The doctor is in.
Being a gynecologist brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "The doctor is in".
I had a really lame phrase on my protest sign...
I didn't pick it well.
Thank you and Sorry are the two most polite phrases.
Apparently, "No, thank you, I don't need your advice" and "Sorry, I don't want to help you" don't cut it.
Due to the negative connotation of the phrase "colored people" the NAACP is thinking about changing their name to reflect more modern terms like "African Americans"
But then they said NAAAA.
I like the phrase less is more...
...I just wish it pertained to what was in my bank account.
Here's an interesting turn of phrase.
ǝsɐɹɥd
Say what you will about Ajit Pai, but he helped me with one thing...
Understanding the phrase "lying through your teeth".
My daughter identifies as a small group of words standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause.
Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?
Why do words, phrases and punctuation keep ending up in court?
To be sentenced
I asked a friend what the phrase was that expresses when someone is talking so fast it's incoherent.
He answered a mile a minute, so I couldn't make out a word he said.
Where did the phrase Give it to me straight, Doc originate from?
A proctologist's office
The British use the phrase "Long live the queen," & the queen is the longest lived monarch in history.
So you'd think they would have realized that they would have realized there might be an issue always saying Princess Di...
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A man goes on a business trip to Japan. The night before his big meeting, he hires a p**....
He really seems to be having a good time, because as they do their thing, she keeps enthusiastically saying things in Japanese over and over again.
The next day, he invites the Japanese businessmen out for a game of golf after their meeting. After a nice hole-in-one, he decides to try out a phrase his p**... used the other night to express his excitement. One of the businessmen turns to him and says, "What do you mean, 'wrong hole'?"
I love using Latin phrases in English
And vice versa
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The difference between the services
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language.
For instance, Take the simple phrase secure the building :
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
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Interviewer: What is your favorite s**... phrase?
Pastor: Are you ready kids!
The phrase Black goes with everything just isn't true.
At least the cops don't think so...
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I always start out my job interviews with the same phrase I say before having s**... with someone for the first time.
Everything I know, I learned from my uncle.
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During the French Revolution, what was the executioner's catch phrase?
First come, first severed!
Whenever I think of the phrase "high off their own supply
I think of a fat chef.
There's only one phrase my girlfriend responds to when we have our intimate time together
Hey Siri
What phrase should you never use in a relationship or in a job interview?
"Well, to tell you the truth..."
Anti Vaxxers.
We should be fascinated in the way anti-vaxxers cling to the phrase the research . It must be something they all pass around to each other.
You know, like measles.
What phrase should you never hear in Chemistry class?
"Bottoms up."
What's 21 Savage's favorite phrase?
We got London on the track!
A man is at boating school, and is learning different phrases before he is allowed to work on a boat
The instructor asks him the first question, What do you say when a man has fallen off the boat.
The man energetically said, Man overboard!
The instructor has his next question ready, What do you say when a woman falls off the boat?
The man yet again states, Full speed ahead!
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When it comes to foreign phrases, I don't know, I just ...
... lack a certain 'Jenna say k**....'
What phrase freaks out a gluten intolerant Soviet the most?
Gluten Tag.
What banner phrase did the art sculptures create to christen their upcoming race?
Finish line or BUST!
"Where there's a will, there's a way" is a great self motivational phrase
Until an inheritance is involved
My psychiatrist told me to phrase my sentences better.
Says the doctor who can't see a house fly above her head.
What's the difference between astronauts and people with suicidal tendencies?
Their interpretations of the phrase, "good bye world".
In 8th grade english class I wrote a script titled "The Pun"
The very first set description in the script said that the stage was to be painted over with random words and phrases.
When I handed in the assignment, my teacher came up to me and asked: "Why is your script titled 'The Pun' and why is the floor covered with phrases?"
"Because my script is a play on words!"
After weeks of isolation, my wife said she is getting tired of my inappropriate catch phrases...
I said That's COVID, baby .
More people would read books if publishers just added the phrase "In My Pants" to the end of every title.
War of the Worlds in My Pants
The Two Towers in My Pants
Great Expectations in My Pants
To Kill a Mockingbird in My Pants
Rising Strong in My Pants
The internet ruined me
Thanks to the internet, I can no longer use the phrase lollygag in casual conversation.
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I was bitten by a Great White at a Florida beach.
I mean, he used the phrase "a**... Superior," but either way that was one coked-out skinhead.
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How can you tell if you are a r**... Jedi?
You have uttered the phrase May the force be with ya'll
TIL (Today I learned) who coined the phrase "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine"
It was former US President Abraham Lincoln.
What is the first thing French soldiers learn, when joining the military ?
The phrase "I surrender" in german
As a dyslexic I've been stung for taking phrases literally
If beauty really lies with the beeholder I've yet to meet one.