Phrase Jokes
147 phrase jokes and hilarious phrase puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about phrase that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Can't quite think of the perfect phrase to say? Looking for a way to make your friends laugh? Check out this article for an in-depth look at phrase jokes and the power of using a single word or phrase to make a joke. Learn how to use the connotations, idioms, and terms to your advantage and get started crafting your own joke phrases.
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Funniest Phrase Short Jokes
Short phrase jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The phrase humour may include short sentence jokes also.
- Whoever coined the phrase dad bod missed a golden opportunity... Should've called it "the Father-figure"
- I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking." Apparently, the correct phrase is, "Cremation or Burial."
- Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy" The search returns "Page not found".
- Even at school they thought I had special powers; what was the phrase… 'Constant super-vision.'
- What's the biggest difference between men and women? The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.
- What's the difference between men and women when watching video? The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. usually has a completely different meaning.
- I used to work in restaurants before switching to information technology... ... The biggest difference is that the phrase "my server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.
- I used to work in food service, now I work in IT The biggest difference is the phrase "My server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.
- 50% of being a lawyer is the ability to use latin phrases that people don't understand the other 50% is *ad hoc ergo propter hoc*
- I really like oxymorons. Phrases like jumbo shrimp, organized chaos, open secret Or United States of America.
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Phrase One Liners
Which phrase one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with phrase? I can suggest the ones about verse and verb.
- How many of the phrases in English are palindrome? Not a ton
- Don't make fun of people who stammer They're just going through a phrase.
- You can't just.... ... abbreviate phrases William Nilliam
- Teacher: What is the tense of the phrase "I am beautiful" Student: Past
- What's a phrase you can't stand to hear? "Sorry sir, but we had to amputate both legs.."
- I hate the misuse of Latin phrases... ...and vice versa.
- Third time's a charm... Is a much darker phrase in Germany
- what's the most commonly used phrase by artists? Would you like fries with that.
- My friend William joined the army He is uncomfortable with the phrase "Fire at Will"
- A woman called me a bit of a looker Well, "peeping Tom" was the phrase she actually used.
- I'm really bad at understanding some common phrases and vice versa.
- I get confused with these Latin phrases. Is it carpe tunnel or per diem?
- You know the only phrase that keeps me human? You are what you eat.
- Due to inflation The phrase "a dime a dozen" has gone up to "a dollar a dozen"
- You know which phrase I really hate? Pet peeve.
One Phrase Jokes
Here is a list of funny one phrase jokes and even better one phrase puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My aunt's parrot can say over 30 phrases, but each one is offensive and belittling. I say parrot, it's actually more of a mockingbird.
- Say what you will about Ajit Pai, but he helped me with one thing... Understanding the phrase "lying through your teeth".
- One of the main differences between men and women Is the meaning of the phrase, "I used an entire box of tissues watching that movie."
- Did you hear the phrase one man's trash is another man's treasure? Was my favorite saying, until my parents said it to indicate I was adopted
- One mans trash, is another mans treasure. Phenomenal, well thought out phrase, but horrible way to find out you're adopted.
- All-Girls High School "The number one most commonly used phrase in any all-girls high school is 'behind my back!'
The second most common is 'right to my face!'"
- Celia Pacquola - As a dyslexic I've been stung for taking phrases literally If beauty really lies with the beeholder I've yet to meet one.
- There's only one phrase my girlfriend responds to when we have our intimate time together Hey Siri
- You can tell if a guy is gay or straight by You can tell if a guy is gay or straight by how he emphasizes in the phrase:
"One man's junk is another man's treasure" - Good news everyone! I've found another person who's voice you can hear in your head when reading one single phrase.... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Word Phrase Jokes
Here is a list of funny word phrase jokes and even better word phrase puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- warning sign on children's alphabet blocks Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
- I went to the theatre today, the stage was covered in random phrases... I guess it was a 'play on words'
- My daughter identifies as a small group of words standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause. Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?
- my son says he's a small group of words that stand together to convey a concept Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?
- I asked a friend what the phrase was that expresses when someone is talking so fast it's incoherent. He answered a mile a minute, so I couldn't make out a word he said.
- Why do words, phrases and punctuation keep ending up in court? To be sentenced
- Where did Santa meet his wife? Conjunction Junction. They specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses
- What do you call a Psychic Compromise? A Happy Medium.
Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing. - Even though words, punctuations and phrases haven't done anything wrong.... they still get sentenced.
- I hate my Jewish English teacher who argues with me on the meaning of certain words and phrases I guess I'm anti-semantic
Comedy Phrase Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about phrase you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wort jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make phrase pranks.
Using the phrase "when pigs fly" to suggest an impossibility is surely out of date.
The police have had helicopters for years now.
Take it Like a Man
"Take it like a man" is a phrase that means something completely different if one is hit in the c**....
I feel like I use the phrase "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it" too often...
I feel like I use the phrase "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it" too often. It hasn't been a real problem yet though, so I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it.
2 parrots
A woman tells her priest, Father, I have a problem. My two female parrots only say, 'Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?'
Don't worry, says the priest. I have two male parrots who only pray and read the Bible. We'll put them in the same cage—your parrots are sure to stop saying that horrid phrase.
The next day, the woman takes her parrots to the priest's home. The male parrots are inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. When the woman places the female parrots in the cage, they cry out, Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?
One male says to the other, Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!
Paraprosdokians
*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....
Throughout the history of espionage, the phrase "We have ways of making you talk."
Has yet to be used on a woman.
The man's best friend
You know the phrase "the dog is the man's best friend"?
Well, I can prove it's true!
Just lock up your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car and one hour later... guess who is gonna be happy to see you!!
My daughter came home from school with an assignment that asked to to finish the phrase, "I have a dream..." this is what she came up with.
I have a dream...
That one day handicap people will be able to park wherever they want to.
How do you fit 50 elephants into a subway station?
You take the letter "f" out of the word "way"
(there's no f in way)
*joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said
What's the most common phrase at a s**... club?
You come here often?
What is the main difference between a drag show and a drag race?
The phrase "I blew a t**..." means something totally different.
Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school?"
Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school?"
Pupil: "I don't know..."
Teacher: "Correct!"
READ THESE LETTERS IN ENGLISH FOR FUNNY PHRASE IN SPANISH
2 T N S L P P B N T S O
What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?
Wars end.
The common phrase to express somethings simplicity is
"its not rocket science...". But what do rocket scientists say to each other? "Come on Doug, its not.....s**...."
How to sound authentically Irish when bewildered, befuddled, confounded, or just generally in a tizzy.
Say this phrase: Whale oil beef hooked.
All men are the same
This phrase was invented by a Chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd.
Why are there no guys named William serving in the army?
Because they dislike the phrase "Fire at Will"
Where does the phrase, "It's raining cats and dogs" come from?
A tornado and an animal shelter
What's the most common phrase heard in West Virginia on a Friday night?
Get off me daddy, yer crushin' my cigarettes.
A teacher asked me why my daughter's name was so weird...
She asked why I had spelled it like E.M.M.A instead of just Emma, and I said that it describes the phrase that I told people when I let them know my SO was pregnant,
"Everyone. Makes. Mistakes. Alright?"
William joined the army...
He rather disliked the phrase "fire at will."
What's the most common phrase uttered by a blond after s**...?
"Are you guys all on the same team?"
The phrase used to be "Fight or flight"...
Now it's "Re-accommodate or flight"
How to properly use the phrase "Fire in the hole!"
Step 1: Eat 4 spicy turkey burritos…
We all know the phrase "Winners don't use drugs"
Which is true, unless of course, you're having a game of "first person to take drugs".
What catch phrase do white girls and statisticians share in common?
"That's totally random"
My sister was getting curious...
My younger sister asked my dad: "What does the phrase 'the birds and the bees' mean?"
My dad replied, "Well, they have the same relationship that trees and flowers have."
"What is that supposed to mean?" my sister exclaimed, to which my dad replied:
"They both beat around the bush."
What two word phrase is most often said after two cousin finish having s**...?
"Roll tide"
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.
This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending an email with the phrase "Regards" again.
The doctor is in.
Being a gynecologist brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "The doctor is in".
I had a really lame phrase on my protest sign...
I didn't pick it well.
I think the phrase, "My body is a temple" is completely untrue...
I don't know about other people, but my body is like a Catholic Church It's full of wine, bread and guilt.
A Horse walks into a bar
A horse walks into a bar and says to the barman "5 whiskeys please!" before downing the whole lot.
The barman looks at the horse and says "That's quite a stomach you've got, are you an alcoholic?"
The horse says "I don't think I am". Suddenly the horse poofs out of existence.
See the joke is a reference to Descartes the philosopher who coined the phrase "I think. Therefore I am." However explaining this prior to the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.
I don't think I am
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, why the long face? The horse morosely replies, my wife wants a divorce, she says I'm an alcoholic. The bartender asks if he is, and the horse answers, I don't think I am and promptly vanishes from existence. Now this is funny because it is a play on the phrase 'I think therefore I am' but to explain this before hand would be to put Descartes before the horse. (Joke from my mathematics professor)
Due to the negative connotation of the phrase "colored people" the NAACP is thinking about changing their name to reflect more modern terms like "African Americans"
But then they said NAAAA.
I like the phrase less is more...
...I just wish it pertained to what was in my bank account.
Here's an interesting turn of phrase.
ǝsɐɹɥd
I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry...
The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."
So there's the phrase down to Earth
If you were on Mars or the Moon would it change to down to Mars or down to the Moon ?
Regardless they don't carry the same weight.
Did you hear the catch phrase of the anorexia awareness group sponsored by snickers?
"You're not you when you're full"
Where did the phrase Give it to me straight, Doc originate from?
A proctologist's office
The British use the phrase "Long live the queen," & the queen is the longest lived monarch in history.
So you'd think they would have realized that they would have realized there might be an issue always saying Princess Di...
A man goes on a business trip to Japan. The night before his big meeting, he hires a p**....
He really seems to be having a good time, because as they do their thing, she keeps enthusiastically saying things in Japanese over and over again.
The next day, he invites the Japanese businessmen out for a game of golf after their meeting. After a nice hole-in-one, he decides to try out a phrase his p**... used the other night to express his excitement. One of the businessmen turns to him and says, "What do you mean, 'wrong hole'?"
Why is the most difficult phrase to pronounce if you have a lisp?
I love you
Source: my father has a lisp
What's the favourite phrase of a Youtuber who likes werewolves?
Lycan subscribe!
The difference between the services
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language.
For instance, Take the simple phrase secure the building :
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy"
It comes back with "this page cannot be found"
Interviewer: What is your favorite s**... phrase?
Pastor: Are you ready kids!
With the new announcement of the space force, Donald Trump decided to call this branch...
Space Patrol Delta! The catch phrase will be, SPD emergency.
Why did William quit the army?
Because he disliked the phrase "Fire at Will"
The phrase Black goes with everything just isn't true.
At least the cops don't think so...
I always start out my job interviews with the same phrase I say before having s**... with someone for the first time.
Everything I know, I learned from my uncle.
During the French Revolution, what was the executioner's catch phrase?
First come, first severed!
Whenever I think of the phrase "high off their own supply
I think of a fat chef.
What phrase should you never use in a relationship or in a job interview?
"Well, to tell you the truth..."
Anti Vaxxers.
We should be fascinated in the way anti-vaxxers cling to the phrase the research . It must be something they all pass around to each other.
You know, like measles.
What phrase should you never hear in Chemistry class?
"Bottoms up."
What's 21 Savage's favorite phrase?
We got London on the track!
What phrase can go when it comes to math and for s**...?
If it's under 13, you gotta do it in your head
