The Best 59 Phrase Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Phrase jokes. There are some phrase differences jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these phrase auschwistic puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Phrase Jokes and Puns

Take it Like a Man

"Take it like a man" is a phrase that means something completely different if one is hit in the crotch.

I feel like I use the phrase "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it" too often...

I feel like I use the phrase "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it" too often. It hasn't been a real problem yet though, so I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it.

2 parrots

A woman tells her priest, Father, I have a problem. My two female parrots only say, 'Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?'
Don't worry, says the priest. I have two male parrots who only pray and read the Bible. We'll put them in the same cage—your parrots are sure to stop saying that horrid phrase.
The next day, the woman takes her parrots to the priest's home. The male parrots are inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. When the woman places the female parrots in the cage, they cry out, Hi, cutie. Wanna have some fun?
One male says to the other, Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!

Phrase joke, 2 parrots

Throughout the history of espionage, the phrase "We have ways of making you talk."

Has yet to be used on a woman.

The man's best friend

You know the phrase "the dog is the man's best friend"?

Well, I can prove it's true!

Just lock up your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car and one hour later... guess who is gonna be happy to see you!!

My daughter came home from school with an assignment that asked to to finish the phrase, "I have a dream..." this is what she came up with.

I have a dream...

That one day handicap people will be able to park wherever they want to.

One of the main differences between men and women

Is the meaning of the phrase, "I used an entire box of tissues watching that movie."

Phrase joke, One of the main differences between men and women

Third time's a charm...

Is a much darker phrase in Germany

What is the main difference between a drag show and a drag race?

The phrase "I blew a tranny" means something totally different.

The common phrase to express somethings simplicity is

"its not rocket science...". But what do rocket scientists say to each other? "Come on Doug, its"

I used to work in restaurants before switching to information technology...

... The biggest difference is that the phrase "my server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.

You can explore phrase term reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean phrase verb dad jokes. There are also phrase puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My friend William joined the army

He is uncomfortable with the phrase "Fire at Will"

How to sound authentically Irish when bewildered, befuddled, confounded, or just generally in a tizzy.

Say this phrase: Whale oil beef hooked.

What's the difference between men and women when watching video?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. usually has a completely different meaning.

I used to work in food service, now I work in IT

The biggest difference is the phrase "My server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.

What phrase do both pedophiles and middle aged women say?

"Age is just a number"

Phrase joke, What phrase do both pedophiles and middle aged women say?

What's the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

William joined the army...

He rather disliked the phrase "fire at will."

What catch phrase do white girls and statisticians share in common?

"That's totally random"

My sister was getting curious...

My younger sister asked my dad: "What does the phrase 'the birds and the bees' mean?"

My dad replied, "Well, they have the same relationship that trees and flowers have."

"What is that supposed to mean?" my sister exclaimed, to which my dad replied:

"They both beat around the bush."

One mans trash, is another mans treasure.

Phenomenal, well thought out phrase, but horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Don't make fun of people who stammer

They're just going through a phrase.

What two word phrase is most often said after two cousin finish having sex?

"Roll tide"

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.

This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending an email with the phrase "Regards" again.

I had a really lame phrase on my protest sign...

I didn't pick it well.

I think the phrase, "My body is a temple" is completely untrue...

I don't know about other people, but my body is like a Catholic Church It's full of wine, bread and guilt.

A Horse walks into a bar

A horse walks into a bar and says to the barman "5 whiskeys please!" before downing the whole lot.

The barman looks at the horse and says "That's quite a stomach you've got, are you an alcoholic?"

The horse says "I don't think I am". Suddenly the horse poofs out of existence.

See the joke is a reference to Descartes the philosopher who coined the phrase "I think. Therefore I am." However explaining this prior to the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

What's a phrase you can't stand to hear?

"Sorry sir, but we had to amputate both legs.."

Due to the negative connotation of the phrase "colored people" the NAACP is thinking about changing their name to reflect more modern terms like "African Americans"

But then they said NAAAA.

I like the phrase less is more...

...I just wish it pertained to what was in my bank account.

I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking."

Apparently, the correct phrase is, "Cremation or Burial."

Teacher: What is the tense of the phrase "I am beautiful"

Student: Past

Say what you will about Ajit Pai, but he helped me with one thing...

Understanding the phrase "lying through your teeth".

I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry...

The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."

My daughter identifies as a small group of words standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause.

Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?

You know which phrase I really hate?

Pet peeve.

I asked a friend what the phrase was that expresses when someone is talking so fast it's incoherent.

He answered a mile a minute, so I couldn't make out a word he said.

The British use the phrase "Long live the queen," & the queen is the longest lived monarch in history.

So you'd think they would have realized that they would have realized there might be an issue always saying Princess Di...

A man goes on a business trip to Japan. The night before his big meeting, he hires a prostitute.

He really seems to be having a good time, because as they do their thing, she keeps enthusiastically saying things in Japanese over and over again.

The next day, he invites the Japanese businessmen out for a game of golf after their meeting. After a nice hole-in-one, he decides to try out a phrase his prostitute used the other night to express his excitement. One of the businessmen turns to him and says, "What do you mean, 'wrong hole'?"

Why is the most difficult phrase to pronounce if you have a lisp?

I love you

Source: my father has a lisp

The difference between the services

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language.

For instance, Take the simple phrase secure the building :
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy"

It comes back with "this page cannot be found"

Interviewer: What is your favorite sex phrase?

Pastor: Are you ready kids!

I always start out my job interviews with the same phrase I say before having sex with someone for the first time.

Everything I know, I learned from my uncle.

Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy"

The search returns "Page not found".

Whoever coined the phrase dad bod missed a golden opportunity...

Should've called it "the Father-figure"

Anti Vaxxers.

We should be fascinated in the way anti-vaxxers cling to the phrase the research . It must be something they all pass around to each other.

You know, like measles.

A Man was on trial for cannibalism

Judge:How do you plead

Man:your honor if the phrase you are what you eat applies then I am an innocent man

I wonder if the receptionist at the sperm bank ever uses the phrase

Thanks for coming!

More people would read books if publishers just added the phrase "In My Pants" to the end of every title.

War of the Worlds in My Pants

The Two Towers in My Pants

Great Expectations in My Pants

To Kill a Mockingbird in My Pants

Rising Strong in My Pants

I was bitten by a Great White at a Florida beach.

I mean, he used the phrase "Aryan Superior," but either way that was one coked-out skinhead.

How can you tell if you are a redneck Jedi?

You have uttered the phrase May the force be with ya'll

You know the only phrase that keeps me human?

You are what you eat.

TIL (Today I learned) who coined the phrase "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine"

It was former US President Abraham Lincoln.

What is the first thing French soldiers learn, when joining the military ?

The phrase "I surrender" in german

It recently became apparent to me,

that the letters 'T' and 'G' are far too close together on a keyboard.

This is why I'll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase "Regards" ever again.

A woman called me a bit of a looker

Well, "peeping Tom" was the phrase she actually used.

Most people have heard the phrase "Great minds think alike"

What they don't know is what comes after

"Idiots seldom differ"

What phrase should a veterinarian never say to their patient's owners?

Are you picking up what I'm putting down?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the phrase adage jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working phrase notation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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