Photograph Jokes
74 photograph jokes and hilarious photograph puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about photograph that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Photograph Short Jokes
Short photograph jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The photograph humour may include short photo with jokes also.
- In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed in him To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him
- As a food photographer, I've always hated taking pictures of rice They always come out too grainy
- A Photographer was killed on the job. His photography subjects tried to warn him but apparently a giant wheel of coagulated milk crushed him.
- Girls hate it when I suddenly send them photographs of parasites Turns out, no one wants unsolicited tick pics
- I was the photographer at a vegan wedding this weekend They kept getting mad when I told them to say cheese.
- Being married to a photographer is depressing... ...they're always looking at the negatives.
- Did you hear about the photographer that got locked in his darkroom? He died of exposure. It was not a pretty picture.
- What's the difference between young girls and photographs? After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.
- What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long? Polaroids.
^I ^know, ^that ^was ^god ^awful. - I have a Photographic memory Unfortunately it's digital and it didn't come with a memory card.
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Photograph One Liners
Which photograph one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with photograph? I can suggest the ones about taking a picture and picture.
- Are people born with a photographic memory.... ....or does it take time to develop ?
- What's the fastest way to earn money as a photographer? By selling your camera.
- Did you hear about the photographer who ran out of subjects? He shot himself.
- I have a photographic memory it just hasn't developed yet
- I have a photographic memory... I need to take a photograph to remember anything.
- I'm trying to get a photographic memory But its still developing.
- A photographer had his lens fall off his camera He was fined for indecent exposure.
- I'm not saying my wife is fat... but I struggle to lift her photograph
- I dream of becoming a selfie photographer.. I can just picture myself doing it.
- How does the lead singer of Nickelback prove his identity? "Look at this photograph"
- What does a photographer have in common with an art thief? The both take pictures.
- Why do drones get so many pictures of mermaids? They're Ariel photographers
- Never purchase jewelry based off of a photograph It makes you look 2D pendant
- Why are photographers less skilled than they used to be? They're not developing.
- A man took a dark photograph and was arrested He was charged with indecent exposure
Share Hilarious Photograph Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about photograph you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mirror picture jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make photograph pranks.
Luella and Rose
There were these two sisters Luella and Rose. They were going
to get a picture taken of themselves as they just got their checks.
They go to the studio and after the photographer fools with the
camera he tells Rose to sit quietly because he had to focus.
Well, Luella being hard of hearing says, "Huh?"
Rose says, "Be still girl he's gonna focus!"
Luella looks and says, "Both of us?"
The Portrait
A bartender notices a man sitting at the bar looking at a photograph while taking a drink from time to time. The bartender then goes away for a bit. He comes back and notices the man is still doing this. The bartender asks "Why have you been staring at the photograph this long." "Well," said the man, "It is my wife and when she starts to look better then it is time to go home."
What did the photographer say when he retired?
"I can't take it anymore!"
Had to quit my job as an underwear model
because the photographer kept telling me, "I'm just a cashier" and that I "need to leave Macy's."
Why was the photographer arrested?
Indecent exposure.
Why was the photographer always depressed?
He could only see the negatives.
What do you call an egyptian god with a photographic memory?
Cam-Ra
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I tried to buy some cough syrup earlier, but apparently you need photographic ID.
Anyhow, I solved the problem.
I bought a huge box of laxatives and took them all - now I'm far too scared to cough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Photographers are violent people.
First they frame you, then they shoot you, and then they hang you on a wall.
Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...
Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a woman with a cold and a p**... with a photographic memory?
One blows her nose, one knows her blows
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A soldier's wife sends him.......
....a n**... photograph of herself with both legs wide open.
She adds the message, Love, I'll wait for you like this till you return.
Soldier: Oh, that's nice but who took that photo?
I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat.
Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer.
I wish I had photographic memory
but it never developed
Two weeks ago I got a job in a photographers dark room.
After an initial negative review, today my boss told me my talent is developing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The school hired me as a photographer
So I was hired to photograph a school event and when I walked up to the doors these security guys stared me down and asked what I was doing
I started to reach for my camera and said I was the school shooter
And the d**... jumped on me and cuffed me!
Irish Confession
Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby.
And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
He hears a priest come in. Father, forgive I think its been a while since I've been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.
The priest replies, Get out, you idiot. You're on my side!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I met a guy who could remember every breast he'd ever seen
He had photographic mammary
A man is sitting at home when he gets a knock on the door from a police officer…
The officer asks the man if he is married, and the man replies yes, I am.
He then asks the man if he has a recent photograph of his wife. The man tells the officer to hold on one moment while he pulls out his phone to show him a picture of her.
The officer takes one look at the photo and tells the man I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train...
The man says yes, I'm aware of that, But she has a great personality, makes me laugh, and it is a really excellent cook!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Shot a family in their home last night.
Being a photographer is such an easy job!
I just realized that since my hair is thinning, my scalp may shine through in photographs depending on the lighting, and possibly blind the photographer.
Just some random reflections off the top of my head. Thanks for listening.
She fell in love with...
She fell in love with an electrician, and she got shocked.
She fell in love with an artist, and things got sketchy.
She fell in love with a musician, and she got played.
She fell in love with a photographer...
You might have read about nature photographers disguising their cameras as herd animals to photograph lions...
Don't believe it.
Fake Gnus
What did the shirt say to the pants?
What up britches!
(At a photography studio today, taking an extended family picture with like 15 people there. This is what the photographer said to get us to smile. I couldn't stop laughing, and was beet red. We had to wait for me to calm down. I'm a middle age married man with teenage kids , it was great fun seeing my girls roll their eyes at dad, that couldn't stop laughing at a dumb joke.)
A girl has to get her picture taken for school.
She has her mom buy her some new clothes so she'll look nice. At one point she asks for new shoes. Her mom says "nobody will be able to see your shoes in the picture". The girl points at the notice and says "it says RIGHT HERE that they will be photographing the entire student body!"
I handed my wife a picture of a $50,000 Birkin designer handbag. "This is what I'm getting you for our anniversary!" She was so happy she started crying.
Who knew a simple photograph would mean so much to her?
Dear sir, On behalf of Channel Four may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new reality show.
Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt". Kind regards Channel Four.
I applied for a job as a Photographer
Despite a negative interview, the boss told me that he can develop my talent in the dark room.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you s**... a photographer?
Turn off the lights and see if anything develops.
Why were photographers so depressed before digital cameras were invented?
They spent too long processing the negatives.
Photos
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented "These are very good! You must have a good camera."
He didn't make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said "That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots."
I'd like to rent a pueblo style building and open a business selling photographic prints.
It will be called: Adobe Photo Shop
I'm looking for jokes that you have to work out. My favourite is the one in the below, which was posted here by another user. Does anyone else have any similar ones that you have to think about before finding the funny?
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
Two Southern belles are walking down a country road.
They are out enjoying a sunset walk and admiring the scenery, when they come across a man taking photographs. The man, being awestruck at the beauty of the two ladies, asks if he can take their picture with the setting sun in the background.
The ladies discuss the idea and eventually agree.
The photographer begins setting up his tripod and adjusting his camera.
One of the ladies asks, "What is he doing?"
The other replies, in a thick Southern drawl, "He's going to focus."
Then the first says, "Both of us?"
