Photo Jokes
112 photo jokes and hilarious photo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about photo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud at the best photo jokes and puns featuring stock photos of cameras, captions, and more! Whether you're a photography enthusiast or just need a good giggle, these funny pictures will make you chuckle.
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Funniest Photo Short Jokes
Short photo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The photo humour may include short picture jokes also.
- Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet. Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
- My girlfriend was really angry when I gave her a box of photos of all her old boyfriends for her birthday. I don't know why, she said she wanted an ex box.
- I met Matthew McConaughey and asked him to sign a photo for me. I told him to make sure he doesn't write anything in the left side of the picture though. He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
- i went to an REM concert back in '92. They're my favourite band so I wanted my photo taken with them.
That's me in the corner. - Why did the pig cross the road? Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
- I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all. Turns out I have selfie-steam issues
- I realized why girls like tall men Because it makes it easier to crop your head out of photos when you break up.
- A man died due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle He had serious selfie steam issues.
- They call me The Tripod Her: So why do they call you 'Tripod'?
Me: Let me unzip this and show you...
*opens camera case and takes really steady photo* - What's the difference between a sock and a camera? One is for five toes, the other is for photos.
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Photo One Liners
Which photo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with photo? I can suggest the ones about portrait and picture day.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To take a photo in front of a church.
- My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!
- Why do vegans often look miserable in photos? They don't like to say 'cheese'
- What a selfie called taken by an orphan? A family photo.
- What's an album with zero bad songs? A photo album.
- I finally figured out why I look so bad in photos. It's my face.
- Why can't you email photos to a Jedi? Because attachments are forbidden
- If you put a photo of yourself in a pendant what does that make you? Independent
- What does a plant do when someone close to his friend dies? He photo-sympathizes.
- People who take tons of photos of themselves Have no selfie control
- What do you call an orphan taking a selfie? A family photo.
..... too much?? - What kind of photos do turtles take? Shellfies
- I was searching for bear photos When I made a grizzly discovery
- Did you hear about the John Wilkes photo booth? It only takes head shots.
- What do you use to meassure the weight of a photo? Instagrams
Photo With Jokes
Here is a list of funny photo with jokes and even better photo with puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Probably photos, reflective surface, things of that nature.
- I keep a photo of my mother flexing inside the charm of my necklace Because she is a strong, in the pendant woman
- Bigfoot is like a father to me... ... I've only ever seen him in photos, never in real life.
- Today is my first cake day! So I want to share a joke with eveyone Wait a minute. Let me find a photo of myself first
- I came across an old photo of my great grandmother earlier today. Took me nearly an hour to clean it off.
- I asked my phone what its favorite joke was: What did Cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive on time? "One day my prints will come."
- If I ever get fat... I'm gonna post before and after photos on the internet. I'll just flip them, so everyone tells me how amazing I used to look.
- I love taking photos of myself standing next to boiling water. My doctor says I have selfie steam issues.
- My wife emailed me our wedding photos but I couldn't open any of the files. I have serious trouble with emotional attachments.
- I recently Learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting. Apparently the term 'School photos' is more acceptable.
Baby Photo Jokes
Here is a list of funny baby photo jokes and even better baby photo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife showed me her baby photos. She said, "Here's one of me when I was 3."
I replied, "Wow, and there's me thinking you were like a fine wine." - I've seen a lot of great photos of babies in my life, so if you want my like on Facebook you better bring it.
- Dad: Look at this cute photo of my baby Just kidding, this isn't freaking Facebook!
Photo Booth Jokes
Here is a list of funny photo booth jokes and even better photo booth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Our friend, Lincoln never made it to the kissing or photo booth.. Because of John Wilkes Booth.
Stock Photo Jokes
Here is a list of funny stock photo jokes and even better stock photo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where do Italians get their stock photos from? Spaghetti Images
- Memes are really just good free stock photos.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Photo Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about photo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gallery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make photo pranks.
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, She's beautiful, isn't she? I said, If you think she's beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.
He said, Why? Is she a stunner? I said, No, she's an optician.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Islamist advantage:
When you divorce your wife and remarry, you can still keep the same photo on your desk
Photon
A photon checks into a hotel. The front desk man asks if he has any luggage. The photon replies "No, I'm travelling light."
Photo Album
A young boy was looking through
the family album and asked his
mother, "Is this you on the beach?
Mother says "Yes, it is"
Son asks "Who's this guy with you with all the
muscles and curly hair?"
"That's your father."
"Then who's that old bald-headed
fat man who lives with us now?"
Two Photons enter a bar.
Two Photons Finish their shift at their job, hop a cab and head to a bar.
They enter the bar and the bartender asks "Are you coming or leaving?" One of the photons replies "Isn't it obvious?"
The bartender replies "No, I'm colorblind.
Larry at the police station
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "
What did the photographer say when he retired?
"I can't take it anymore!"
I was the photographer at a vegan wedding this weekend
They kept getting mad when I told them to say cheese.
Cyanide?
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. The pharmacist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"
The lady says "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you any for that reason" says the pharmacist.
The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. He looks at the photo and says "Oh...........I didn't know you had a prescription!"
I have a photographic memory
it just hasn't developed yet
Why didn't the Photon have any luggage on the plane?
He was Travelling Light
How is a photon like an abandoned church?
They have no mass.
The owner of Bell Incorporated has just died...
The first in line to receive the inheritance is the owner's son, who gladly accepts it. However, the company lawyer says that he needs to take a photo of him for legal purposes. After developing the photo, he sends it off to the employees in the company to announce their new boss. He says "Here's the fresh prints of Bell heir".
I was throwing darts at wife's photo on dart board
and not even a single one hitting the target.
Wife entered, saw and asked, Honey! What are you doing?
Husband: Missing you.
And that's when the fight started…
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's an email going around that claims to include a n**... photo of Hillary Clinton
Don't open it. It contains a n**... photo of Hillary Clinton.
What's does a photon and Donald Trump have in common?
Both full of energy and momentum, both lacking substance.
Why was the photographer arrested?
Indecent exposure.
I took a photo while my plane was landing and got arrested...
Apparently, its in-descent exposure.
Photons aren't Catholic.
No mass.
A photon walks into a hotel with his luggage...
The bellhop asks, "sir, do you need help with your bags?"
The photon responds, "that's alright, I'm traveling light!"
Why was the photographer always depressed?
He could only see the negatives.
Lighting is very important when I take photos of myself.
Because if there isn't any, chances are it's a good photo.
A photographer had his lens fall off his camera
He was fined for indecent exposure.
A photon walks into a hotel
The clerk asks "do you have any bags we can help you with?"
Photon says "naw dawg, I'm travelin' light"
The police officer holds up a photo and asks a man; "is this your wife?"
The man looks at the photo and answers; "Yes that is her."
The police officer looks the man in the eyes and calmly exclaims; "I am afraid it looks as though your wife has been hit by a train."
The man replies; "Yes, officer, but she is kind and makes great food for me."
What did the photon particle say as it traveled past?
Nothing, it just waved
I came across an old family photo this morning.
Then I had to wipe it up before anyone got home.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Photographers are violent people.
First they frame you, then they shoot you, and then they hang you on a wall.
Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...
Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."
A man walks into a bar, and sees King Kong having a drink...
Now, the man loves all of Kong's films, so he decides to walk up to him. He says, "wow! King Kong! I'm such a big fan. Sorry to bother you, but do you have time for a photo? "
King Kong suddenly looks up, checks his watch.
He turns to the man and says "sorry, I've a plane to catch".
How do we know photons are massless?
They're traveling light.
I've been married for 20 years,
and I still carry a photo of my wife in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life I stare at her picture, and it comforts me knowing that...
If I survived that long married to her, I can survive anything.
If I photoshopped a medical license
Would that be a doctored image?
I have a Photographic memory
Unfortunately it's digital and it didn't come with a memory card.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A soldier's wife sends him.......
....a n**... photograph of herself with both legs wide open.
She adds the message, Love, I'll wait for you like this till you return.
Soldier: Oh, that's nice but who took that photo?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mom texted me that she found the i**... photo of my sister and I.
I was freaking out until I realized she meant nicest.
I showed my sterile friend a photo of my son.
He just couldn't conceive of such a thing.
Prince Harry had his Bachelor Party last night in London and here is his "Quote of the Day" from that memorable event:
"It's really weird stuffing money into a stripper's G string when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."
Joey moves to a nudist colony
Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.
He is extremely worried but then remembers that his grandmother's eyesight is poor and hopes that she doesn't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It reads
Dear Joey
Thank you for the picture. May I suggest that you get a haircut, your hair makes your nose look small.
Love Grandma
A photon walks into a hotel and orders a room. The bellhop asks, Can I carry your baggage to your room for you?
The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Harvey Weinstein joke with journalists
Journalist: Were those n**... photos of you that the jury looked at?
Harvey Weinstein: No, it was p**... !
My mum has a photo of me in her wallet and not of my siblings
She said whenever she face an obstacle, she looks at my photo and her problem disappears.
I really felt touched until she said she tells her self: "what other problem can be bigger than this one?"
Photons hit you at over 300,000,000,00 m/s, and yet you don't even flinch.
It must be because they're so light.
I just asked Siri for a wake up call...
She sent a photo of me, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and beer cans.
Why does a photon not weigh much?
Because it's light.
A man is sitting at home when he gets a knock on the door from a police officer…
The officer asks the man if he is married, and the man replies yes, I am.
He then asks the man if he has a recent photograph of his wife. The man tells the officer to hold on one moment while he pulls out his phone to show him a picture of her.
The officer takes one look at the photo and tells the man I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train...
The man says yes, I'm aware of that, But she has a great personality, makes me laugh, and it is a really excellent cook!
A guy sat next to me in the bus today and pulled out a photo of his wife.
He asked me Ain't she beautiful?
I said If you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife
He replied with Why, is she a stunner as well?
I said No, she's an optician
Cr
At my cousin's birthday party, I held up a photo of my uncle and said "It's amazing how you look just like your father did at 40!"
That's the last quinceañera I get invited to.
I've got a framed photo of the mother-in-law on my drinks cabinet.
It keeps the kids from it.
And when she starts to look good I know it's time to stop drinking.
Why are photographers less skilled than they used to be?
They're not developing.
I ran into an old friend from school today who immediately starting bragging about his wonderful life.
Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, She's beautiful, isn't she?
I said, If you think she's beautiful, you should see my girlfriend.
He said, Why? is she good looking?
I said, No, she's a optician.
Time magazine just contracted me to row a boat for their next cover photo.
I'm Time's new Row-man
A Photographer was killed on the job.
His photography subjects tried to warn him but apparently a giant wheel of coagulated milk crushed him.
a guy goes to a party...
He has fun and goes to the photo booth, and there's no photo line.
Then he goes to the bathroom, and there's no bathroom line
Then he goes to get snacks and there's no snack line
Then he goes to get punch and there's no punch line
I have a photographic memory...
I need to take a photograph to remember anything.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Prescription
A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks "What for? "She says "I want to kill my husband ". He says "Sorry, I can't do that. "She then reaches inter her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him. He says, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription... "
Why were photographers so depressed before digital cameras were invented?
They spent too long processing the negatives.
What does a photographer have in common with an art thief?
The both take pictures.
Photos
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented "These are very good! You must have a good camera."
He didn't make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said "That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots."
Stuck a photo of my ex onto my boomerang.
Now it only comes back when I get rich.
I'd like to rent a pueblo style building and open a business selling photographic prints.
It will be called: Adobe Photo Shop
How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde?
With a TikTok account and some decent photo editing software, only about 4.
old but gold
Just sat next to a bloke in the pub, he takes his wallet out and pulls a photo of his wife from it. He showed it to me and said, Isn't she stunning?
I replied, if you think she is stunning you should see my wife.
Why? Is she a model?
No, I replied, she's an optician.
A photon was traveling along a highway at the speed of light.
The BMW driver on its tail was furious that they couldn't pass it.
I'm trying to get a photographic memory
But its still developing.
My friend showed me a photo of a famous meteor crater in Arizona.
It's amazing how close it landed to the Visitor's Center.
