Photo Jokes
123 photo jokes and hilarious photo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about photo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud at the best photo jokes and puns featuring stock photos of cameras, captions, and more! Whether you're a photography enthusiast or just need a good giggle, these funny pictures will make you chuckle.
Quick Jump To
- Short Photo Jokes
- Photo One Liners
- Photo With Jokes
- Baby Photo Jokes
- Photo Editing Jokes
- Photo Booth Jokes
- Stock Photo Jokes
- More Photo Jokes
Funniest Photo Short Jokes
Short photo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The photo humour may include short pics jokes also.
- Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet. Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
- My girlfriend was really angry when I gave her a box of photos of all her old boyfriends for her birthday. I don't know why, she said she wanted an ex box.
- I met Matthew McConaughey and asked him to sign a photo for me. I told him to make sure he doesn't write anything in the left side of the picture though. He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
- i went to an REM concert back in '92. They're my favourite band so I wanted my photo taken with them.
That's me in the corner. - Why did the pig cross the road? Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
- I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all. Turns out I have selfie-steam issues
- I realized why girls like tall men Because it makes it easier to crop your head out of photos when you break up.
- A man died due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle He had serious selfie steam issues.
- They call me The Tripod Her: So why do they call you 'Tripod'?
Me: Let me unzip this and show you...
*opens camera case and takes really steady photo* - What's the difference between a sock and a camera? One is for five toes, the other is for photos.
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Photo One Liners
Which photo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with photo? I can suggest the ones about picture and image.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To take a photo in front of a church.
- My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!
- Why do vegans often look miserable in photos? They don't like to say 'cheese'
- What a selfie called taken by an orphan? A family photo.
- What's an album with zero bad songs? A photo album.
- What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie ? Family Photo.
- Your mama is so fat….. On one edge of her passport photo, it says continued on next page.
- I finally figured out why I look so bad in photos. It's my face.
- Why can't you email photos to a Jedi? Because attachments are forbidden
- If you put a photo of yourself in a pendant what does that make you? Independent
- Have you seen the photo of me and REM? That's me in the corner.
- What does a plant do when someone close to his friend dies? He photo-sympathizes.
- Yo mamma's so fat... She had to get her drivers license photo from Google earth!
- People who take tons of photos of themselves Have no selfie control
- What do you call an orphan taking a selfie? A family photo.
..... too much??
Photo With Jokes
Here is a list of funny photo with jokes and even better photo with puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Probably photos, reflective surfaces, things of that nature.
- What's the difference between Jesus and a photo of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the photo.
- A friend showed me a photo of his wife. Isn't she stunning? He said.
You should see my wife, I replied.
What, is she stunning, too? He asked.
I said: No, she's an optometrist. - I keep a photo of my mother flexing inside the charm of my necklace Because she is a strong, in the pendant woman
- Bigfoot is like a father to me... ... I've only ever seen him in photos, never in real life.
- Today is my first cake day! So I want to share a joke with eveyone Wait a minute. Let me find a photo of myself first
- What's the difference between a camera and a foot? A camera has photos and a foot has five toes.
(Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with) - Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
- Why do Japanese people always look serious in photos? Last time they saw a flash, it destroyed their country.
- I came across an old photo of my great grandmother earlier today. Took me nearly an hour to clean it off.
Baby Photo Jokes
Here is a list of funny baby photo jokes and even better baby photo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife showed me her baby photos. She said, "Here's one of me when I was 3."
I replied, "Wow, and there's me thinking you were like a fine wine." - I've seen a lot of great photos of babies in my life, so if you want my like on Facebook you better bring it.
- Dad: Look at this cute photo of my baby Just kidding, this isn't freaking Facebook!
- My mum showed my girlfriend my baby photos. "You haven't changed at all," said my girlfriend.
"Alright mum," I said, "that's enough of the n**... ones." - My dad thought it would be a good idea to show my girlfriend my baby photos. "You haven't changed at all." she laughed.
"That's enough of the n**... ones, please." I told him.
Photo Editing Jokes
Here is a list of funny photo editing jokes and even better photo editing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? With a TikTok account and some decent photo editing software, only about 4.
- Today at work I shot some people and after I cut their heads off accidentally Wasn't my best photo shoot / edit.
- How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? About 4 and some decent photo editing software.
Photo Booth Jokes
Here is a list of funny photo booth jokes and even better photo booth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the John Wilkes photo booth? It only takes head shots.
- What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Some day my prints will come!
- Our friend, Lincoln never made it to the kissing or photo booth.. Because of John Wilkes Booth.
Stock Photo Jokes
Here is a list of funny stock photo jokes and even better stock photo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where do Italians get their stock photos from? Spaghetti Images
- Memes are really just good free stock photos.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Photo Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about photo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean portrait jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make photo pranks.
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, She's beautiful, isn't she? I said, If you think she's beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.
He said, Why? Is she a stunner? I said, No, she's an optician.
I had my photo taken with REM yesterday.
That's me in the corner.
A photon checks into a hotel.
The bellhop says "can I take your bags?"
"No," she answers, "I'm traveling light."
*(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*
A photon walks into a hotel.....
..... And is asked if he needs help with his luggage.
The photon replies, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
So a photon checks into a hotel...
Bellman says "Sir may I take your bags?"
Photon replies "Nah... I'm traveling light"
Islamist advantage:
When you divorce your wife and remarry, you can still keep the same photo on your desk
Photon
A photon checks into a hotel. The front desk man asks if he has any luggage. The photon replies "No, I'm travelling light."
Photo Album
A young boy was looking through
the family album and asked his
mother, "Is this you on the beach?
Mother says "Yes, it is"
Son asks "Who's this guy with you with all the
muscles and curly hair?"
"That's your father."
"Then who's that old bald-headed
fat man who lives with us now?"
Two Photons enter a bar.
Two Photons Finish their shift at their job, hop a cab and head to a bar.
They enter the bar and the bartender asks "Are you coming or leaving?" One of the photons replies "Isn't it obvious?"
The bartender replies "No, I'm colorblind.
Larry at the police station
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "
I was the photographer at a vegan wedding this weekend
They kept getting mad when I told them to say cheese.
Cyanide?
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. The pharmacist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"
The lady says "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you any for that reason" says the pharmacist.
The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. He looks at the photo and says "Oh...........I didn't know you had a prescription!"
I have a photographic memory
it just hasn't developed yet
Why didn't the Photon have any luggage on the plane?
He was Travelling Light
Photographers are so violent.
They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you.
A photon checks into a motel
the clerk says, "Do you have any luggage? If so, I can have the bell hop take it to your room."
The photon replies, "No, I am traveling light!"
A photon is going through airport security...
The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage.
The photon says, No, I'm traveling light.
A photon checks into a hotel.
The bellhop asks, "May I help you with your luggage?"
The photon responds, "No thank you. I'm traveling light."
I was throwing darts at wife's photo on dart board
and not even a single one hitting the target.
Wife entered, saw and asked, Honey! What are you doing?
Husband: Missing you.
And that's when the fight started…
There's an email going around that claims to include a n**... photo of Hillary Clinton
Don't open it. It contains a n**... photo of Hillary Clinton.
A photon stops at a hotel and is asked: "May I take your luggage?"
He replies, "No, thanks. I'm traveling light."
I saw the saddest movie ever.
A man ended up jacking off to his dead wife's photo and crying. It was absolutely tear jerking.
A photographer had his lens fall off his camera
He was fined for indecent exposure.
A photon walks into a hotel
The clerk asks "do you have any bags we can help you with?"
Photon says "naw dawg, I'm travelin' light"
The police officer holds up a photo and asks a man; "is this your wife?"
The man looks at the photo and answers; "Yes that is her."
The police officer looks the man in the eyes and calmly exclaims; "I am afraid it looks as though your wife has been hit by a train."
The man replies; "Yes, officer, but she is kind and makes great food for me."
A photon checks into a hotel.
The bell hop asks "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies "No I'm traveling light."
Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...
Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."
A man walks into a bar, and sees King Kong having a drink...
Now, the man loves all of Kong's films, so he decides to walk up to him. He says, "wow! King Kong! I'm such a big fan. Sorry to bother you, but do you have time for a photo? "
King Kong suddenly looks up, checks his watch.
He turns to the man and says "sorry, I've a plane to catch".
How do we know photons are massless?
They're traveling light.
A photon walks into a hotel
The hotel clerk asks, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon responds, "No, I'm travelling light"
If I photoshopped a medical license
Would that be a doctored image?
My mom texted me that she found the i**... photo of my sister and I.
I was freaking out until I realized she meant nicest.
A photon walks into a hotel
The concierge says, "need any help with your luggage?"
"Nah" says the photon. "I'm traveling light"
Prince Harry had his Bachelor Party last night in London and here is his "Quote of the Day" from that memorable event:
"It's really weird stuffing money into a stripper's G string when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."
Joey moves to a nudist colony
Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.
He is extremely worried but then remembers that his grandmother's eyesight is poor and hopes that she doesn't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It reads
Dear Joey
Thank you for the picture. May I suggest that you get a haircut, your hair makes your nose look small.
Love Grandma
A photon walks into a hotel and orders a room. The bellhop asks, Can I carry your baggage to your room for you?
The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."
Photon checks into a hotel
Receptionist: do you need help with the luggage?
Photon: no thanks, I'm traveling light.
Harvey Weinstein joke with journalists
Journalist: Were those n**... photos of you that the jury looked at?
Harvey Weinstein: No, it was p**... !
A guy sits next to me on the train.
He pulls out a photo of his wife, and says, "Isn't she beautiful?!"
I replied, "Of course, but maybe you should see my girlfriend.
"Really? Is she a stunner?" he asked.
"No, she's an optician."
My mum has a photo of me in her wallet and not of my siblings
She said whenever she face an obstacle, she looks at my photo and her problem disappears.
I really felt touched until she said she tells her self: "what other problem can be bigger than this one?"
A man sits next to another man on the train and pulls out a photo of his wife isn't she beautiful?
Other man: If you think she's beautiful you should see my wife
First man: Why? Is she a stunner?
Other man: No, she's an ophthalmologist
You know you're ugly...
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
A photon walks into a hotel.
The desk clerk says, Can we help you with your luggage?
The photon says, No, thanks. I'm traveling light.
A guy is sitting home alone, when suddenly he hears a knock on the door.
He gets up to answer. There are two policemen outside. They ask him if he's married. He says yes and the policemen want to see the photo of the wife. He gets one and shows it to them.
The policemen exchange sad looks and one of them says:
"I'm very sorry, but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck."
"Yeah I guess, but she's got a great sense of humor and cooks a h**... of a brisket."
A photon checks into a hotel...
The receptionist asks him if he needs help with any baggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light."
A woman goes to the pharmacist and asks for five kilos of arsenic.
The chemist says, "That's very dangerous, what do you want it for?"
Wife replies, "I'm giving it to my husband. He had an affair"
Chemist says, "Oh no, I could get in a lot of trouble for giving you that"
Wife goes into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband.....having s**... with the chemist's wife.
"Oh, that's different. I didnt realise you had a prescription"
A photographer was killed in a freak accident today.
When trying to take a group photo, a giant wheel of cheddar rolled over and crushed him.
Witnesses said people did try to warn him.
A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding
Officer, "May I see your licence?
Lady, "What does it look like?"
Officer, "Its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it."
The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.
The officer opens it up and says, "If you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over."
A guy sat next to me in the bus today and pulled out a photo of his wife.
He asked me Ain't she beautiful?
I said If you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife
He replied with Why, is she a stunner as well?
I said No, she's an optician
Cr
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I said, "If you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife!
He said, "Why? Is she super-hot too?
I said, "No, she's an optometrist!"
A man sits next to me on the train and pulls out his phone showing me a photo of his girlfriend on his background screen, and said she's beautiful isn't she?
I go if you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife…
He goes why, is she a stunner?
I replied no, she's an optician
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
Family photo.
A Photographer was killed on the job.
His photography subjects tried to warn him but apparently a giant wheel of coagulated milk crushed him.
I have a photographic memory...
I need to take a photograph to remember anything.
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife on his phone, and said, She's beautiful, isn't she? I said, If you think she's beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.
He said, Why? Is she a stunner? I said, No, she's an optician.
Prescription
A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks "What for? "She says "I want to kill my husband ". He says "Sorry, I can't do that. "She then reaches inter her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him. He says, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription... "
A photon checks into a hotel and the front desk asks "Do you need help with your luggage"?
The photon replies "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
Photos
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented "These are very good! You must have a good camera."
He didn't make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said "That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots."
old but gold
Just sat next to a bloke in the pub, he takes his wallet out and pulls a photo of his wife from it. He showed it to me and said, Isn't she stunning?
I replied, if you think she is stunning you should see my wife.
Why? Is she a model?
No, I replied, she's an optician.
Yo momma so fat
Her passport photo is a panoramic one
Your mama is so ugly….
Her passport photo says This Page Left Intentionaly Blank.
My neighbor claims he took a photo of a flea on the moon.
Never mind… it's just a lunatic.
