Phone Call Jokes
142 phone call jokes and hilarious phone call puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about phone call that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Phone Call Short Jokes
Short phone call jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The phone call humour may include short telephone call jokes also.
- Corona must have hit India hard... I´ve not recieved a single phone call this week from
Microsoft to warn me about a virus on my computer. - My girlfriend is so smart! I forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.
She answered: "What's up, honey?"
What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone! - To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday Can you please stop calling my new phone?
- Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"
She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"
...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode. - I just installed a new app on my phone that lets me know which of my friends are racist. It's called 'Facebook'
- I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck... - A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?" "Yes, it is," came the reply.
"Thank Goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone." - I called my wife's phone using my best friend's phone. She answered with "Hey baby"... She knew it was me before I even spoke. True love at it's finest.
- I asked my teenage son to pass me the phone book He laughed, called me a dinosaur and handed me his iPhone.
So, the spider is dead. The iPhone is broken and my son is furious. - My girl is so smart! My girlfriend is so smart. I called her from my friends phone and she said "what's up honey?". She already knew I was on the other side of the line ;)
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Phone Call One Liners
Which phone call one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with phone call? I can suggest the ones about conference call and prank call.
- How do you call a cow with no legs? You don't, because cows don't have phones.
- Friend asked to use my phone to call his mom.. Told him to just hit redial.
- What happens when you call a duck? His phone wings
- What do you call a guy with no phone? You don't.
- What has two wings and a halo? An Asian phone call; "Wing, Wing, halo!?"
- What does a cannibal call a phone book? A menu
- 'Hey, can I use your phone to call my girlfriend real quick?' 'Sure, just hit redial'
- How do prisoners call each other? On their cell phones!
- Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month? She must have called a 1,000 times
- How does a prisoner make a call? He uses a cell phone...
- What do you call a phone that can't connect to Bluetooth on a kia? A Nokia
- What is the loneliest number? My phone number, call me please!
#Please don't - - Hi, this is NSA calling. - Yes, I know. - How do you know? -- My phone is turned off.
- What do you call a reptile phoning a friend? A crocodial
- What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck.
Phone Call Answering Jokes
Here is a list of funny phone call answering jokes and even better phone call answering puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do you know if Stephen Hawking still has his old phone number? Everytime I call, a machine answers.
- My girlfriend is so smart I called her from my friends phone and when she answered she said hey babe what's up? How did she know it was me?
- My iPhone screen went black but I can still hear my ringtone and answer phone calls It's just an earPhone now.
- I think my wife might be secretly dealing drugs. There was a suspicious phone call this morning which I answered. A male voice asked "Has that dope gone yet?"
- I rang Seaworld the other day. A lady answered the phone and said "This call may be recorded for training porpoises"
- I got a phone call from Spokane, WA today I didn't answer it, because I've never spokane to anyone from there.
- I think my wife is dealing drugs. This morning I was running late, and I answered a very suspicious phone call.
All i heard was a strange, male voice say, "Has that dope left out yet?" - a telephone call A wife answers the phone.
Husband to wife: "How come you talked only 15 minutes?"
Wife: "It was wrong number." - So I phoned my friend to ask him why he's been calling me the names of different composers, but he didn't answer... He hasn't called me Bach yet.
- ProLifeTip - If someone puts their phone in their front pocket and mistakenly calls you, don't answer it. It's a Crank Call.
Rib-Tickling Phone Call Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about phone call you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean answering phone calls jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make phone call pranks.
I got a phone call from my son's school today
Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?
Yes, how can I help you?
Hi, This is little Billy's music teacher calling
Oh, hi
Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!
Really? Wow! That's..
Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet
A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife
"We need a 4th for poker"
"I'll be right over" says the doctor.
"Is it serious?" His wife asks when she notices him quickly putting on his coat.
"Oh yes.. there are 3 other doctors there already."
Do you think charlie sheen admitted to being h**... positive on national television...
because it was easier than making phone calls?
So I got a phone call from the post office today...
...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them "It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike".
A man ends up in a 30-year coma.
After waking up, he receives a phone call from his bank.
He hears: "Dear Mr. Johnson, we are sorry to say that due to recent economic events, the total value of your savings portfolio is $950 billion."
The man, thrilled to hear that, goes to the hospital bar to get a coffee as soon as he can.
When he comes to the bar, he says "I'd like a coffee, please.".
The cashier tells him "That'd be $30 billion.".
"24 hours to live!!"
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
A teacher receives a phone call shortly before the school day starts
Caller: Mr. Brown, my son James will not come to school today because he is sick.
Teacher: Who am I speaking to please?
Caller: I am my father.
When my kindle reads Fifty Shades of Gray to me
It's like getting an obscene phone call from Stephen Hawking
Late Night Phone Call To The Vet
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog
while the neighbors were on vacation.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds,
rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage,
as so frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet,
who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the vet said,
"Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his e**...
and he will be able to withdraw."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"Just worked on me," he replied.
A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...
'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'
She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."
So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"
Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"
An elderly man was out on a drive...
An elderly man was out on a drive when he received a phone call from his wife.
"Honey, be careful. I just heard on the radio that one idiot out there is driving the wrong way on the highway."
To which he replied, "Are you kidding me? There are hundreds of them!"
I got a divorce for my birthday.
When I woke up, my wife and kids forgot to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't get any birthday cards or phone calls. When I went into work my secretary wished me happy birthday and I felt really special.
We went out for a drink after work to celebrate and she invited me back to her place. She excused herself for a minute an went into her bedroom and returned with my wife, kids and all my friends.
I was sitting on the couch n**....
A crying blond
A blond goes into work crying her eyes out,her boss asks her whats wrong,she tells him that her mom died,the boss tells her that its ok for her not to come to work,but she disagrees and says that she needs to work to put her mind of it.As the day goes by she feels better,later she received a phone call and starts screaming and crying,when the boss came and asked her whats wrong she says: "That was my sister,HER MOM DIED TOO!"
Dad joke about phones....
A phone call comes through to a families home and the son looks at it and yells "Dad should I take this"
The dad yells back "who is it calling?"
Son: "It says private caller"
Dad: "Don't answer!! We only take calls from lieutenant callers or higher!!"
I want people's opinions to help me decide something...
I've just received an automated phone call saying I've won either £250 cash or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute concert. Should I press 1 for the money or 2 for the show?
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
The outlaws are wanted
*shoutout to the customer that called in and ended the phone call with a joke to spread some cheer*
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
He thought it was a delivery service.
Good news, bad news
A man gets a telephone call from a doctor. The doctor says: "About this medical test I did on you, I have some good news and some bad news."
The man asks for the good news first:
"The good news is that you have 24 hours to live," says the doctor.
The man, incredulously: "If that is the good news, then what is the bad news??"
"I couldn't reach you on the phone yesterday."
A father gets a phone call from his son's teacher
A father is at work when he gets a call from his son's teacher.
"Hello Mr. Johnson, I was in the middle of a lecture today when your son just got up and left the room without a word. I'm very worried about him, is he alright?"
The father just laughed and said "oh you have nothing to worry about, Billy has been sleepwalking since he was 5 years old!"
Please be careful!!!!! don't know if this is a scam, I've just received a phone call saying I've won tickets for an elvis Presley tribute show then it said.
Just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.
A married couple have set the words "phone call" if one want to have s**....
One day they have a fight and didn't talk.
The husband said to his kid " tell your mother I want to make a phone call"
The wife told him to tell his father "I don't have enough credit to make a call"
The husband told his kid to tell his wife he will make a phone call outside.
The wife told his kid to tell him " if you did that I will turn the house into a call center"
Jesus might be a telemarketer.
The other day I got a phone call from a telemarketer. The guy was trying to sell me frankincense. I really didn't want it though, so I told him I didn't want to buy any. He probably suspected I was going to hang up, so he quickly said, "But wait, there's myrrh!"
Don't believe everything you read in public toilets
Sharon was not up for a good time and it was a very awkward phone call
Turkish Joke
A prisoner goes to the warden and asks for a book. The guard makes a phone call then says:
We don't have the book but we have the author across the hall.
I've just received a phone call saying I've won £250 or 2 tickets for an elvis presley tribute show...
...it said press 1 for the money, 2 for the show
News: Hillary Clinton concedes her defeat to Donald Trump in a private phone call.
Safe to say she's learned her lesson with emails!
Make sure that she is really dead
A doctor gets a phone call from his best friend, and the frantic voice at the other end says "God, oh God, my wife's dead! I shot her! What do I do!?" The doc tells his friend to calm down. "OK, now the first thing is, you have to be sure that she's really dead." He hears silence at the other end, then a single gunshot. "OK, what now?!"
Why did the cancer specialist keep getting phone calls in the middle of the night?
He was an on-call-ogist
My parents and I came to the US from Germany when I was a little girl.
They didn't speak much English, but were experienced educators back home. One winter, they decided to open a tutoring/ study session program to help students stay productive and focus over the break. It wasn't until after a flood of angry phone calls and visitors that we realized that "Concentration Camp" was not an ideal program name.
Don't believe everything you read in public toilets
Don't believe everything you read in public toilets. Sharon is not up for a good time. What an awkward phone call that was...
Dearest John
John receives a phone call.
"Hello," he answers.
The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago."
John: "Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?"
Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."
John: "Oh, yeah, of course! Susan! How are you?"
Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
John: "Say, you ARE a good sport.
A man gets a phone call at work
Hello Mr Walkins, there's been a terrible accident and your wife is in the hospital.
Oh my God the hospital?! What is it?
It's a large building full of doctors, but that's not important right now.
phone call
Today I dialed a wrong number… The other person said, Hello? and I said, Hello, could I speak to Joey? … They said, Uh… I don't think so…he's only 2 months old. I said, I'll wait.
Another Soviet joke
Nixon is visiting Brezhnev. Brezhnev shows off the newest Soviet technology: a payphone that can call h**.... So Nixon puts in a quarter and calls h**..., talks to the devil Then he returns to the US and is told that the US als has this technology but it costs $1000 per phone call. He gets angry and asks why does it only cost a quarter in the USSR.*sir, you see in the USSR it's a local call.*
I drew my dog while I was on a boring phone call and I'm really proud of it!
It's a golden doodle.
Top news stories for yesterday
CNN: Trump phone call
MSNBC: Trump phone call
Fox news: Does walking a dog make you happier?
My mum was rushed to hospital so I left a voicemail for my dad. "Dad, can you call me urgently?"
I got a phone call from him, "Hi Urgently"
Trump is banning telephone calls to and from the middle east
I can't believe our president created the teleban!
A woman gets a phone call
A woman gets a phone call saying "The viper is coming shortly". She thinks nothing of it.
She gets another call. "The viper is coming in two hours."
She freaks out and calls the cops.
Two hours later, a short Russian man with a squeegee knocks on her door.
"I am the viper. I'd like to vash the vindows."
Grandfathers have the purest sense of humor.
My grandfather is close to 90 years old and has to take medication. One day, my aunt gave him his pills, and the cogs in his brain began to turn.
Grandpa after being given his medication: Tell everyone I'm on the pill.
Aunt:.....
Grandaunt: \*Howling with laughter when hearing the story over a phone call\*
A guy gets a phone call
from a girls he likes. She says "Come over, nobody's home!"
So he goes over, and nobody's home.
[Arrested for prank calling]
Cop: You get one phone call
Me: Ok *excited
*cop's phone rings*
Me: Is your refrigerator running
People who take phone calls while dropping a deuce...
...Are real s**...-talkers.
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
* Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
* A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Watch out for a scam phone call.
The caller says, You have won $1.000.000 dollars
or Tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute Concert.
Just press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
Awkward phone call:
"You put it down!"
"No, *you* put it down!"
"No, really, you put it down!"
"I can't, you put it down!"
"No, you put it down!"
"You put it down."
"No, you!"
"No, you put it down."
"For goodness sake, it's an old dog and you're a trained vet!"
A r**... makes a phone call
The man on the other end picks up. "Hello?"
The r**..., voice nervously shaking, says, "Sir, I-I'd like to ask permission to m-marry your daughter. We're in love."
The man replies, "Of course you have my permission. You're my son and I want you to be happy."
What do you call a cow who travels with you and can make phone calls?
A moo-bile phone
A man receives a phone call
He answers it, only to find out it's his doctor
The doctor says "I have good news and bad news, which one do you want to hear first?"
"s**... it", the man replies, "tell me the bad news first"
"You have only 24 hours to live"
"g**..., only 24 hours? What about the good news?"
"I was going to phone you yesterday to say that but you didn't reply"
My wife always wants to talk to me after s**...
I don't mind the talking, it's just that her phone calls always wake me up.
The White House informs its supporters it is pulling out of the Paris accord.
It was the most difficult 4 phone calls they ever made.
As bad as 2016 seems to be, it could be worse...
You could have got a phone call from Charlie Sheen.
A woman had five sons.
A woman had five sons: Alex, Bill, Chad, Doug, and Eric. One day, the woman gets a phone call from the hospital. The doctor says, "I'm so sorry to tell you this, but your son was in a car accident and broke his leg."
"Oh no!" She responds, "Which one?"
The doctor answers, "The left leg."
I booked some Star Wars impersonators for my son's birthday, but I've just had a phone call saying that their people carrier's broken down.
All I know is that they're in a Galaxy far, far away.
An old man in Brooklyn gets a phone call that his cheese shop blew up.
Oh, no! I'd better get down there right away!
The guy on the phone tells him, Nah, take your time. All that's left where de shop was is de brie.
I got a phone call from some helpful people who wanted me to know a few things...
But what I'd like to know is who put Prince Albert in a can and why is my refrigerator running?
A man drives deep into the forest
A man drives deep into the forest to get rid of his cat. He lets her out at an abandoned place. After one hour he gets a phone call from his wife: The cat is back.
The man growls: Ok, can you put her on, I got lost and need directions.
Vladimir Putin receives a phone call from his assistant after the election...
"Good morning, Mr. Putin. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that your adversary has taken 61% of the vote. The good is, you've taken more."
Your mama so poor.......
She went on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire just to make a phone call.
A couple, to have s**..., made a code as "Phone call" so that the kids will not know.
A couple, to have s**..., made a code as "Phone call" so that the kids will not know.
One day husband to son: Tell your mom that dad wants to make a phone call.
Mom: Tell your dad the network is down.
Dad: If the network is down, then I will go to a PCO.
Mom: Tell dad that if he dares to go to a PCO, I will open a call centre at home!
(please do not kill me)
I made a phone call to a friend to tell them a new joke.
It didn't get very good reception.
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
**The doctor says**, "I have some **good news** and some **bad news**."
**The man says**, "OK, give me the **good news** first."
**The doctor says**, "The good news is, you have **24 hours** to live."
**The man replies**, "Oh no! If that's the **good news**, then what's the **bad news**?"
**The doctor says,** "The bad news is, I forgot to call you **yesterday**."
I was woken up by a phone call telling me I've committed tax fraud
They must have had the wrong number cause I don't pay taxes
Boris Johnson disinfectant joke
Boris Johnson: Following a very productive phone call with Donald Trump, I would like to hear from any UK companies that can turn over their production line to making Dettol, Domestos, Cillit Bang, Lysol and Toilet Duck.
My proctogogist won't take my phone calls anymore.
I guess saying "What, no happy ending!" isn't proper exam room etiquette.
How do you make a phone call in a garden?
You use a cauliflower
Got this new game on my phone called Titanic. It's kind of annoying...
Every time I open the app it syncs.
What state hates phone calls?
TEXAS (Text Us) #kneeslapper
Jaime Lannister doesn't get a lot of phone calls these days...
Cause he only has five digits.
It was an odd day
I got up at 7.
I had three cups of coffee.
I arrived at work at 9
I had one meeting
Then 5 phone calls.
The joke is in the title.
What did Dani Alves said in team strategy meeting when he got phone call ?
I will be right back
Phone calls between time zones are the worst.
One night I was lonely and tried to call the international date line. No luck.
I'm a great bookkeeper
I've had to take out my simcard to stop the phone calls asking for their books back.
Fisherman wants new radio telephone call sign for his boat.
He calls the telephone company and asks for a new call sign.
The operator says sure you can have a new one, but can you tell me why you want a new one?
"How would you like it if every time someone asked for your call sign, you had to say '4Q'?"
What is the one thing that getting married and a phone call in the middle of the night have in common?
You only wake up after the ring.
