Phobia Jokes
48 phobia jokes and hilarious phobia puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about phobia that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funny phobia jokes are sure to bring a laugh, whether you suffer from agoraphobia, social phobia, needle phobia, or any other fear. Learn how to make light of your fears and make others chuckle with our collection of hilarious jokes about phobias and shyness. Don’t let your fears bring you down, let laughter take over and put a smile on your face.
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Funniest Phobia Short Jokes
Short phobia jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The phobia humour may include short fear jokes also.
- Doctor: You might have a phobia of marriage. Do you think you have the symptoms? Man: Can't say I do.
Doctor: Yes. That's the main one. - If Bruce Wayne overcame his fear of bats by becoming his phobia... why am I still afraid of failure?
- The guy I am dating has a phobia of people that randomly include clothes in sentences But overall, this shouldn't be an issue
- My date asked me if I have any phobias and I had to break it off there and then. We only drink REAL beers in my house.
- I told my doctors I have a phobia of calendars He asked me why
I replied, "Because its days are numbered." - I enjoy flying, but have a severe phobia of boarding queues I spoke to the doctor, but they said it was a terminal illness
- I have a fear of overly esoteric prefixes in front of the word "phobia." I know what it's called, I just can't bring myself to say it.
- I had a phobia of icebergs, so my psychiatrist said to try taking my phobia head on. As Captain of the Titanic, there might've been some misinterpretation going on there...
- [OC?I just heard that superstar Phil Collins has an irrational fear of eating an inauthentic Vietnamese noodle dish. He calls it faux-pho-phobia.
- What's the phobia where you're afraid of Florida? Sanity.
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Phobia One Liners
Which phobia one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with phobia? I can suggest the ones about claustrophobic and anxiety.
- I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It's a complex complex complex.
- I've recently developed a severe phobia of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them.
- I have a huge phobia of hair. I dreadlocks.
- I have a phobia of German sausage Yes, I fear the wurst
- In Iran, everyone's scared of spiders.. But in Iraq, no phobia.
- I have a phobia of the square root of 2 It's just one of my irrational fears
- What is the phobia of "getting married" called? common sense.
- What do you call a phobia of machetes? Common sense
- What did Spider-Man say when he was deployed to the Middle East? Iraq, no phobia
- I was gonna write a book on phobias But I was afraid it wasn't going to sell
- doctor help, I have an irrational fear of Vietnamese soup. "OK, that's a Pho-bia."
- What do you call a fear of Alkaline? A pH-obia
- What do you call the fear of Vietnamese soup noodles? pho-bia
- What do you call a phobia of acids? Baseless
- What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief? Both have a phobia for sirens.
Cheerful Fun Phobia Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about phobia you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean afraid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make phobia pranks.
To help me get over my recently developed elevator phobia my friend invited me to an Open Mike night.
Worst autopsy ever!
I have a phobia of circles and working
But no worries I'm working around it
A man with a phobia of old men files a complaint about Santa...
He didn't like his Christmas presence...
What did the psychologist say to his client after diagnosing him with a phobia on January 1?
Happy new fear.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
did you hear about the mathematics w**... who was afraid of negative numbers?
his phobia was so bad that he will stop at nothing to avoid them.
dedicated to my special friend blader2601.
Patient: So, do you think me being hard of hearing has contributed to my bird phobia?
Doctor: maybe a smidgen.
Patient: WHAT?!? WHERE?!?
I have a fear of missing targets at short distances
So I aim to go to great lengths to solve my phobia.
As a vegan eating with the German side of my family at Christmas can be tough. I'm too scared to tell them I am vegan so I explained that I had a crippling phobia of meat.
I feared the wurst.
I have an irrational fear of giants.
I have Fee Fi Phobia.
Man bought a gun.
A few days later, the man goes to his therapist for a regular check-up.
Therapist: "why did you buy a gun? Do you feel unsafe in society or...?"
Man: "I got a gun because of my bird phobia"
Therapist: "I think you might be getting carried away"
Man: *firing into the ceiling* "Not without a fight!"
There is one manor difference between Iraq and Iran
In Iran, everyone's afraid of spiders.
Iraq: no phobia.
Got this one from my dad, so I don't know if it's legible lol. I just thought I'd put it here.
