Philos Jokes
81 philos jokes and hilarious philos puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about philos that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical & Quirky Philos Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What is a good philos joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Philosophy Major: True story
With five minutes left in his class, a philosophy professor decides to talk about his own college experience.
Philosophy is basically a dead-end major. You know where your career is going when you sign up for it. He looks at one student and asks, What would your parents say if you told them you were changing your major to Philosophy.
The student says, They'd be thrilled. See, I am a theater major.
Philosophy final
in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?
Philosophy
When anyone asks if I'm a philosophical, I responded, "That's a very philosophical question." Then I way away.
What did the philosophy Ph.D say to the fat black woman?
Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?
What do philosophical dolphins say?
What's the porpoise?
For all of those Philosophy Majors out there
Philosophy Joke:
If an argument concludes a tree fall without human interaction in a forest for a stump to be made, and there are no lumberjack's in the forest to hear it, does it make it sound?
How do philosophers shave off their beards?
Occam's razor
Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth?
Because they philos all the time!
Philosophy majors are like stem cells
They have the potential to become whatever they want/need but they are equally unprepared for everything.
why do philosophers love the ocean so much?
because it's deep!
What's a philosophers favorite toy?
Plato
Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?
They don't find them Hume-erous.
What does a philosopher put his/her food on?
A contemplate
A philosopher, a linguist, and a physicist were asked, "Which of your three fields is the most useful?"
The philosopher said, "What do we mean when we use the word 'useful'?"
The linguist said, "What do *you* mean when you use the word 'useful'?"
The physicist laughed and said, "The answer can be inferred by the uselessness of the other answers."
What does the Philosophy major say a year after he graduates?
"Would you like fries with that?"
How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It depends on the definition of lightbulb.
Why does the philosopher have an automatic car..?
Because he Kant drive Immanuel.
What is the philosophy of a necrophiliac?
Sit back, relax and crack open a cold one
A philosophy major walked into PetSmart today...
He asked for a pair a ducks.
To all the philosophy majors out there...
Can I get a Grande Mocha with whip please?
Philosophers taste best grilled.
I just love Confu-shish kabob.
Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?
You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good'?" first.
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Philos One Liners
Which philos one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with philos? I can suggest the ones about bath and deep.
- Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth? Because they philos all the time!
