The Best 7 Philly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Philly jokes. There are some philly hockey jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these philly philly eagles puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Philly Jokes and Puns

What does a beaver from Philly drink?


If you're just looking for sex, find yourself a girl from Philly that likes football.

They're used to playing the game and never getting a ring.

Tough Kid

An 8 year-old kid is sitting on a swing, eating jelly beans, in a playground in South Philly. This man walks by and says, "Hey kid, you shouldn't eat candy. It's not good for you."

Kid looks up and says, "You know my grandfather lived to be 95?"

"Yeah, and? He ate a lot of candy?"

Kid smiles and says, "No. But he knew how to mind his own fuckin' business."

What does a guy from Philly dunk his pretzel in?

a girl from Jersey.

I have a philly on my horse ranch that is nocturnal.

When she grows up, she's going to be a real nightmare.

If philadelphia loses half of Philly is burned down

If Philly wins all of it's burned down.

What's the best thing about dating Philly girls?

They don't expect a ring.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the philly york jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working philly eliza piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes