Phillies Jokes
10 phillies jokes and hilarious phillies puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about phillies that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Phillies Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good phillies joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.
Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a s**.... He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into the states to play for his team.
After a very successful rookie season the young man was discussing his rookie of the year award via telephone with his mother.
She told him that she was proud but living in fear constantly. She continued " your brother was shot twice just in the last few weeks and your sister is regularly the victim of assault. Matters have escalated and life is worse than it has ever been. I will never, ever forgive you for bringing us to Philly."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a b**... from Philly drink?
Wooder.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tough Kid
An 8 year-old kid is sitting on a swing, eating jelly beans, in a playground in South Philly. This man walks by and says, "Hey kid, you shouldn't eat candy. It's not good for you."
Kid looks up and says, "You know my grandfather lived to be 95?"
"Yeah, and? He ate a lot of candy?"
Kid smiles and says, "No. But he knew how to mind his own f**...' business."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you're just looking for s**..., find yourself a girl from Philly that likes football.
They're used to playing the game and never getting a ring.
What does a guy from Philly dunk his pretzel in?
a girl from Jersey.
Did you hear the Phillies aren't selling beer this year?
Because they lost the opener.
I have a philly on my horse ranch that is nocturnal.
When she grows up, she's going to be a real nightmare.
If philadelphia loses half of Philly is burned down
If Philly wins all of it's burned down.
What's the best thing about dating Philly girls?
They don't expect a ring.
Why aren't there any Chic-fil-a's in Philly?
Because It's Always Sunday in Philadelphia.
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