Philippines Jokes
23 philippines jokes and hilarious philippines puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about philippines that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with this interesting collection of Philippines jokes! Enjoy funny jokes in which Japanese and French people try to pronounce Filipino words, or ones about vocalists and Pacquiao. Whether you're Filipino or not, these jokes will surely give you a great time!
Funniest Philippines Short Jokes
Short philippines jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The philippines humour may include short trivia jokes also.
- The Philippines is the only country in the world who turns its flag upside down during times of war while French people remove the red and blue colour
- I've heard the crime rate in the Philippines drops when Manny Pacquiao fights... The crime rate also drops in floyd mayweather's home when Floyd Mayweather fights.
- Pacquiao wanted the fight to take place in the Philippines, but Mayweather insisted on Las Vegas. I guess he likes his venues just like he likes his violence...Domestic.
- I got a letter the other day without a return address on it. I assumed it was from the Philippines... It was in a Manila envelope.
- What did the Island Gobbling Sea Monster say? These islands aren't Philippine me up. I need Samoa Tahiti!
- Marriage Question So if a person from Holland and a person from the Philippines got married, would their babies be called Hollapiños?
- Why are people in the Philippines always hungry? Because no matter how much you feed them, you can't fill a pino
- My dentist is Steve Harvey's brother... he pulled off my crown and sent it to the Philippines.
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Philippines One Liners
Which philippines one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with philippines? I can suggest the ones about pageant and contestant.
- what do you call a contortionist from the Philippines? a Manilla folder
- What do you call peppers from the Philippines? Filipeños
- What's the most popular wine in the Philippines? Fili-Pinot
- As a male from the Philippines I was borne with a PhD
- Typical hurricane harvey It meant to hit the Philippines
- What's the noisiest place in the Philippines? The toilet, it's always full of Pee noise.
- How do you say Philippines in Ebonics? Colombia
Philippines Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about philippines you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean harm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make philippines pranks.
The Deadliest Job in WW2
My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, Did you ever kill anyone?
Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, Probably. I was the cook.
What is globalization?
Question : What is globalization?
Answer : Princess Diana's death
Question : How come?
Answer :
An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on
Scottish whiskey, followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles, treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by a
Canadian, using
Bill Gates' technology which he got from the
Japanese.
And you are probably reading this on
one of the IBM clones that use
Philippine-made chips, and
Korean made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi
workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries
driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians and finally
sold to you by a Chinese!
Let's try a joke I learned in the Philippines
A Filipino woman and her husband, an American, wake up the morning after their wedding and decide to take a shower together. In the middle of their fun, the water cuts out (as sometimes happens in the Philippines). The wife cries out, "Ay! Walang tubig!" ("Oh no! No water!" in Tagalog).
The husband replies, "Babe, you're wonderful, but if I'm being completely honest, it's not big, it's a little below average."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The president of the Philippines says 3 of 5 Americans are idiots
What a d**..., there are way more than 5 Americans
The aliens sent down a robot to earth.
The aliens claimed that this robot can catch thieves very fast!
They united nations sent the robot to Canada and in just a few seconds, the robot caught all the thieves in Canada.
Amazed, the united nations sent the robot to America.
The it the robot a bit longer but after 15 mins, the robot return with all the thief in America.
Even more amazed, the united nations test the robot one more time. They brought it to the Philippines.
One minute after landing in the Philippines, the robot got stolen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Granny suprise
A p**... in Philippines stands in line with 50 others during a police raid, checking their IDs
As suprise her grand mother shows up, asking what she is doing in that long line.
"There is a man on the end, giving oranges for free, to make juice", she lies ashamed.
"Well, in this heat i wanna have some too ", says the grandmother and joines the line.
As the police officer showes up he is shocked and said: "Oh my god, how can you do that! You are quiet old already!".
"No problem Officer, i take out my teeth and s**... em dry..."
