Philadelphia Jokes
43 philadelphia jokes and hilarious philadelphia puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about philadelphia that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover some of the funniest Philadelphia jokes from W.C. Fields to the beloved Philadelphia sports teams. Learn about the out of this world Orion and Sunni, along with Leeds and our beloved Philadelphia Eagles cartoon. Get ready to share a laugh with these Philadelphia jokes!
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Funniest Philadelphia Short Jokes
Short philadelphia jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The philadelphia humour may include short championship jokes also.
- Yesterday I found myself next to a Hollywood celebrity at a grocery store. Both of us were staring at the cream cheese section. I was …..watching Philadelphia with Tom Hanks.
- Did you hear about the Panda at the Philadelphia Zoo who had his meal time changed? He was bamboo-zled.
- Last night Philadelphia residents climbed light poles, flipped over cars, and set dumpsters on fire Then things really got out of hand when they learned the Eagles won the Super Bowl
- What do Nicki Minaj and the Philadelphia police department have in common? Reclaiming black bodies.
- In the window of a bar in Philadelphia Drop a bucket of Starbuck's Iced Coffee on your head to raise awareness of the rich city girls who have lost their ability to even.
- The Fresh Prince "Alright, that will be $157,382", said the taxi driver,
after taking Will Smith from West Philadelphia to Bel Air. - Shia muslims are not welcome in the City of Brotherly Love... Because it's always sunni in Philadelphia.
- Did you hear that the Philadelphia Eagles changed their name to the Eages? Because the Patriots took the L
- What kind of sandwich can you only find in Chinese restaurants in Philadelphia? Filly Cheesesteak
- People say I have the heart of a lion What they don't realize is I also have a number of convictions and a lifetime ban from the Philadelphia Zoo.
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Philadelphia One Liners
Which philadelphia one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with philadelphia? I can suggest the ones about eastern and centre.
- Why does no one own an Xbox in Pennsylvania? Because it's always Sony in Philadelphia!
- What's a Muslim's favorite TV show? It's always sunni in Philadelphia
- What do you call a stationery convention in Philadelphia? Pencil-mania
- My heart goes out to the city of Philadelphia. Not the people, the actual city.
- What do the Philadelphia Eagles and a dead Sonic the Hedgehog have in common No Rings
- The Declaration of Independence was NOT written in Philadelphia. it was written in ink
- How do you kill a vampire from Philadelphia? With a cheese stake.
- Who has been waiting the longest for Philadelphia's first NFL championship? Bald eagles
- Why aren't there any Chic-fil-a's in Philly? Because It's Always Sunday in Philadelphia.
- Are you Philadelphia versus New England?
- Why is Philadelphia Cher's favorite city to perform in? Because it's always Sonny!
- The Philadelphia Eagles. .
- What effect does global warming have on Pennsylvania? It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
- What are the 4 dirtiest streets in Philadelphia? Turner, Front, Mascher, Cherry
- The Philadelphia eagles Punchline in title.
Philadelphia Eagles Jokes
Here is a list of funny philadelphia eagles jokes and even better philadelphia eagles puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl? Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)
Sunny Philadelphia Jokes
Here is a list of funny sunny philadelphia jokes and even better sunny philadelphia puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Have you heard about the recent wave of Saudi emmigration to Pennsylvania? No?
Yeah, well it's quite big - there was even a popular documentary series on it...
"It's always Sunni in Philadelphia." - Why can't Shia Joe travel in eastern Pennsylvania? Because it's always Sunni in Philadelphia.
Philadelphia Phillies Jokes
Here is a list of funny philadelphia phillies jokes and even better philadelphia phillies puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If philadelphia loses half of Philly is burned down If Philly wins all of it's burned down.
Howlingly Hilarious Philadelphia Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about philadelphia you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean center jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make philadelphia pranks.
Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.
Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a s**.... He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into the states to play for his team.
After a very successful rookie season the young man was discussing his rookie of the year award via telephone with his mother.
She told him that she was proud but living in fear constantly. She continued " your brother was shot twice just in the last few weeks and your sister is regularly the victim of assault. Matters have escalated and life is worse than it has ever been. I will never, ever forgive you for bringing us to Philly."
A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday
.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
Two nuns on a bike ride in Philadelphia
Two nuns are on a bide ride through Philadelphia, the first nun says to the second, "Make a right turn here, I know a short cut". After a few minutes the second nun says, "I've never come this way before". The first replies, "I know, it's the cobblestones"
So, Will Smith is playing the genie from Aladdin, well then
West Philadelphia born and raised, in a genie lamp is where I spend most of my days. Chillin out back and relaxing all cool til Aladdin showed up with little Abu then a couple of guys who were up to no good..Jafar started taking over my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my master got scared he said if you mingle with the street rats don't come back near here.
I hate it when my wife wants to talk during s**......
Last night she called me from Philadelphia.
Ricky Gervais Tim Allen joke.
“What can I say about our next two presenters?” Ricky Gervais asked.
“The first is an actor, producer and director whose movies have grossed over $3.5bn at the box office. He’s won two Academy Awards and three Golden Globes for his powerful and varied performances, starring in such films as Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Castaway, Apollo 13 and Saving Private Ryan. The other... is Tim Allen.”
Middle America likes their gay people in movies like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia or Jake Gyllenhaal....
Strong, intelligent articulate and dead within an hour and 20 mins.
Jerrod Carmichael
