Phew Jokes

22 phew jokes and hilarious phew puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about phew that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Phew Short Jokes

Short phew jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The phew humour may include short thank god jokes also.

  1. So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working." Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.
  2. Baby snake \- Mom, are we venomous?, said the baby snake
    \- No, we aren't at all! Why?
    \- Phew! Because I just bit my tongue!
  3. SO happy to announce my mother has tested negative for COVID-19... Doctor said the breathing issues are only pulmonary fibrosis, a collapsed lung, and stage 4 cancer. Phew!
  4. You ever let out a huge sigh of relieve when getting test results back? Only a phew will understand.
  5. A man opens the bonnet of his VW Beetle. His jaw drops - "Oh my god, someone stole my engine!"
    Then he goes round the back and opens the trunk. "Phew, thankfully I have a spare."
  6. A man goes to a doctor Doctor: It looks like you have cancer and Alzheimer's
    Man: Phew thank god I don't have cancer
  7. Cur-phew! I told my suitcases that we're not going on holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
  8. There was this blind man right, he was feelin his way down the street with his stick right, he walks past the fish market, took a deep breath and said... phew,
    Good morning ladies
  9. I was thinking about buying a slide for £2000 last week. But then I thought, "Phew, that's a bit steep."
  10. The man on TV said if you drink alcohol every day, you're probably an alcoholic. Phew! I only drink every night.

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Phew One Liners

Which phew one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with phew? I can suggest the ones about whoa and relieved.

  1. Phew!! 45 minutes on the treadmill and I didn't die.... Maybe, I'll turn it on next time.
  2. Disaste. Phew, that almost spelled disaster.
  3. My friend fell from a hill. Doctors say he's okay now. Phew. That's a huge relief.
  4. How many skunks does it take to stink up a house? A phew!
  5. What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
    Deja phew.
  6. How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?
    Just a phew.
  7. What do you call an attractive woman walking down the street? Fweet-phew!

Phew joke, What do you call an attractive woman walking down the street?

Cheeky Phew Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about phew you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jeez jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make phew pranks.

A man bought a horse from a pastor of a church...

The pastor explains to him "to make the horse go yell 'Thank God!' And to make it stop yell 'Hallelujah'". He is riding the horse and gets distracted when he notices he is about to ride off a cliff and begins to yell "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!", and the horse stops just at the edge of the cliff. He wipes his sweat off and says "Phew! Thank God!".
*Old Russian joke my dad used to tell*

There was a woman breastfeeding her child next to me.

I looked at her and said, "Do you never feel like perverts are giving you weird looks when you do that in public?"
She smiled, and said, "Oh no, not really."
I said, "Phew."

I caught two kids smoking p**... outside my office.

Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking p**... outside my office.
In the early evening...
My wife caught me, my boss and two kids smoking p**... outside my office.
Later that night, an officer caught five people smoking p**... outside my office.
My wife looked at my boss and then looked at me while that story aired on the evening news and then commented
"Phew, I'm glad it wasn't us"

Trump and Obama are taking a jog...

Trump and Obama are taking a jog around the White House. When they finish, they look at the time on their stopwatches.
"Phew, just under 10 minutes!" Says Obama.
Trump says - "shame, Bush managed to do 9:11"

Phew, don't have to think of a catchy title today

Why is Monica so exited for the next Clinton presidency?
This time she won't have to s**....

Phew joke, There was this blind man right, he was feelin his way down the street with his stick right,