Cheeky Phew Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working."
Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.
A man bought a horse from a pastor of a church...
The pastor explains to him "to make the horse go yell 'Thank God!' And to make it stop yell 'Hallelujah'". He is riding the horse and gets distracted when he notices he is about to ride off a cliff and begins to yell "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!", and the horse stops just at the edge of the cliff. He wipes his sweat off and says "Phew! Thank God!".
*Old Russian joke my dad used to tell*
Baby snake
\- Mom, are we venomous?, said the baby snake
\- No, we aren't at all! Why?
\- Phew! Because I just bit my tongue!
There was a woman breastfeeding her child next to me.
I looked at her and said, "Do you never feel like perverts are giving you weird looks when you do that in public?"
She smiled, and said, "Oh no, not really."
I said, "Phew."
Phew!! 45 minutes on the treadmill and I didn't die....
Maybe, I'll turn it on next time.
I caught two kids smoking p**... outside my office.
Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking p**... outside my office.
In the early evening...
My wife caught me, my boss and two kids smoking p**... outside my office.
Later that night, an officer caught five people smoking p**... outside my office.
My wife looked at my boss and then looked at me while that story aired on the evening news and then commented
"Phew, I'm glad it wasn't us"
SO happy to announce my mother has tested negative for COVID-19...
Doctor said the breathing issues are only pulmonary fibrosis, a collapsed lung, and stage 4 cancer. Phew!
You ever let out a huge sigh of relieve when getting test results back?
Only a phew will understand.
A man opens the bonnet
of his VW Beetle. His jaw drops - "Oh my god, someone stole my engine!"
Then he goes round the back and opens the trunk. "Phew, thankfully I have a spare."
A man goes to a doctor
Doctor: It looks like you have cancer and Alzheimer's
Man: Phew thank god I don't have cancer
Trump and Obama are taking a jog...
Trump and Obama are taking a jog around the White House. When they finish, they look at the time on their stopwatches.
"Phew, just under 10 minutes!" Says Obama.
Trump says - "shame, Bush managed to do 9:11"
You can explore phew gorge reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean phew alrighty dad jokes. There are also phew puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Disaste.
Phew, that almost spelled disaster.
Phew, don't have to think of a catchy title today
Why is Monica so exited for the next Clinton presidency?
This time she won't have to s**....
My friend fell from a hill. Doctors say he's okay now.
Phew. That's a huge relief.
There was this blind man right, he was feelin his way down the street with his stick right,
he walks past the fish market, took a deep breath and said... phew,
Good morning ladies
I was thinking about buying a slide for £2000 last week.
But then I thought, "Phew, that's a bit steep."
The man on TV said if you drink alcohol every day, you're probably an alcoholic.
Phew! I only drink every night.
So a wolf comes to a village with three awfully farmilar houses
Shalom Says the Wolf
Phew Says the three little pigs
How many skunks does it take to stink up a house?
A phew!
A man in a museum accidentaly breaks a vase.
Manager: That vase was over a thousand years old!
Man: Phew - I thought it was new.
3-year-old girl
My 3-year-old niece, stomping her feet in anger, making faces.
Me: What's wrong ?
3-year-old: NOTHING!
Phew! she's already a woman :-o
