The Best 54 Phd Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Phd jokes. There are some phd palindromes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these phd mba puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Phd Jokes and Puns

My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

We now call him Dr. Awkward.

My nerdy friend got a Ph.D on the History of Palindromes.

He's now Dr.Awkward.

Why are black people unable to get a PhD?

Because they can't get past their masters

Two drunk people are sitting at a bar having an argument about Coronavirus.

The first one says "You're just trying to scare people. You don't know anything."

The second replies, clearly fed up with the first, "I'm a doctor! I'm paid to know these things, I have a PhD and everything!"

The first one slurs back, "Well ***I*** have a ***DhD.***"

The second says, exasperated, "What the hell is a DhD??"

The first cackles, "You're some doc if you don't know what ADHD is!"

"My first son has a PHD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and jornalism and my youngest son is a burglar."

Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!"

Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."


I recently received my PhD in palindromes.

I now go by Dr. Awkward

but I have a PhD...

"Here's a broom go and sweep the floors."

"But I have a PhD..."

"Oh sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done."

My friend said, You have a B.A., Master's, and a Ph.D, but you still act like a moron.

It was a third degree burn.

My career's in ruins!

A man walks into a bar and finds its patrons raucously celebrating with a young man standing on the bar shouting for more drinks, on him.

He walks up to the bar and shouts to the young man, What's the occasion?

My career's in ruins! the lad cackles.

The man, shocked, replies, Then why the hell are you celebrating?

I've just completed my PhD in archaeology!

What did the Philosophy Ph.D say to the fat black woman?

Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?

Why God never got a PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

You can explore phd prof reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean phd university dad jokes. There are also phd puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?

One's a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other's a lepidopteral taxonomy

So, I have this friend who studied to become an egyptologist

The only way he can make a living is by becoming a PhD and teach others to become egyptologists.

As far as I'm concerned, it is a pyramid scheme.

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista

I've been doing my psychology PhD thesis on the mental health and wellbeing of little people. After 4 long years and multiple studies, I've concluded...

6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.

To the woman I met in the bar last night who was mad at me this morning

I never said I had a PhD in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical PhD in physics.

Did you hear about the prostitute with a PhD in Psychology?

She'll blow your mind.

A father has 4 sons in his house. 3 have a PhD, but one is a robber. Why won't he kick out the robber?

Because he's the only one making money

"Here's a broom go and sweep the floors."

"But I have a PhD..."

"Oh sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done."


A dishonest college graduate wrote PhD on his transcript

I guess you could say he doctored it

Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?

Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.

You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Rockin World go round.'

My PhD student claims to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic mathematics

Turns out he was just exaggerating

My brother just finished his doctorals

So he went to Starbucks to celebrate.

The cashier said. "What would you like sir?"

"I would like an espresso please" my brother replied.

"Okay sir, I just need your name." The cashier said.

"It's Stephen" My brother replied.

"With a 'ph'?" The cashier asked.

My brother then replied. "No, it's Stephen, with a PhD"

After working long and hard for my PhD people finally recognize me..

As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now.

Become a PhD

After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

A friend of mine is really set on becoming the first emperor of Asia, He's pursuing a PhD in English Literature...

When I asked him why chose English Literature he said he wanted to be "a great reader".

So my crush wants a guy with a phd

And apparently that doesn't mean pretty huge debt

What do call a fish with a Phd?

A brain sturgeon.

I'm starting a charity for PhD students so they can finally afford to live on their own without the need for roommates...

It's called "Doctors without Boarders."

I'm like Dr. Strange without the PHD and magic cape.

Strange...

I once held a PHD in the field of literature

And then he asked me to put him down and pick up all the books I threw all over the grass

I've decided to get a PhD in how much soda you should have for the end of the world.

Dr. Prepper, at your service.

An awkward friend of mine just finished his PhD in palindrome theory..

Now he's Dr. Awkward.

I asked my Indian father for a PS3

He said "No beta, it's pronounced PH.D."

A nerdy friend of mine just got his Ph.D. on the history of palindromes.

He is now Dr. Awkward.

Educated Sons

1st son : Degree in Economics.
2nd son: MBA.
3rd son : PhD
4th son : Thief

Neighbour: Why can't you throw the
4th son out of your house?

Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.

Where did the microbiologist go after receiving his PhD?

...to a cell-laboratory gathering

I tell my dates I have a PhD in sex talk.

They are not as impressed when learning my dissertation was on the "effects of female ultrasonic vocalization on male impotence in rats"

My friend has a PhD in sexual deviancy

She can talk about autoerotic asphyxiation until she's blue in the face!

I have a phd

A pretty huge...

My friend has a PHD.

Even though he only has a Public Highschool Diploma, he has been living a pretty happy life.

Side note: My father loves to make this joke, so I had to share.

How do you make a venetian blind?

Poke his eyes out

Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD

How many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

100

99 to earn a PhD in electrical engineering and interview for the job, and one to agree to do it for the "experience".

there was a suspicion of university diploma forgery

There was a suspicion of university diploma forgery. The police went to investigate that. "There was no proof that any crime was commited," said the police officer, John Brown J.D., M.D., B.D., Ph.D.

What does Dr. Pepper have his PhD in?

Theoretical fizz-ics.

Why couldn't the black man get a PhD?

He couldn't get past his masters.

Who called it phd

and not 3rd degree torture?

Which field of study does Dr. Pepper have his PhD in?

Fizzy-ology.

My friend said, You have a B.A., Master's, and a Ph.D., but you still act like an complete idiot.

It was a third degree burn.

How come there are only PHD and bachelor's degrees in Czechia?

Because they have No Gods, No Masters.

So, you are watching a Christopher Nolan movie?

Do you even have a PhD?

My Starbucks barista thinks he's so smart

just because he has a PhD in humanities.

What is Doctor Pepper's PhD in?

Particle Fizzics.

What is the difference between a normal blonde and a blonde with a Ph.D?

The one with the Ph.D will blow your mind too!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the phd psychology jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working phd graduate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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