Following is our collection of funny Phd jokes. There are some phd palindromes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these phd mba puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
He's now Dr.Awkward.
Because they can't get past their masters
The first one says "You're just trying to scare people. You don't know anything."
The second replies, clearly fed up with the first, "I'm a doctor! I'm paid to know these things, I have a PhD and everything!"
The first one slurs back, "Well ***I*** have a ***DhD.***"
The second says, exasperated, "What the hell is a DhD??"
The first cackles, "You're some doc if you don't know what ADHD is!"
Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!"
Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."
I now go by Dr. Awkward
"Here's a broom go and sweep the floors."
"But I have a PhD..."
"Oh sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done."
It was a third degree burn.
A man walks into a bar and finds its patrons raucously celebrating with a young man standing on the bar shouting for more drinks, on him.
He walks up to the bar and shouts to the young man, What's the occasion?
My career's in ruins! the lad cackles.
The man, shocked, replies, Then why the hell are you celebrating?
I've just completed my PhD in archaeology!
Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?
1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
You can explore phd prof reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean phd university dad jokes. There are also phd puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
One's a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other's a lepidopteral taxonomy
The only way he can make a living is by becoming a PhD and teach others to become egyptologists.
As far as I'm concerned, it is a pyramid scheme.
A well educated Barista
6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.
I never said I had a PhD in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical PhD in physics.
She'll blow your mind.
Because he's the only one making money
"But I have a PhD..."
"Oh sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done."
I guess you could say he doctored it
Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.
You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Rockin World go round.'
Turns out he was just exaggerating
So he went to Starbucks to celebrate.
The cashier said. "What would you like sir?"
"I would like an espresso please" my brother replied.
"Okay sir, I just need your name." The cashier said.
"It's Stephen" My brother replied.
"With a 'ph'?" The cashier asked.
My brother then replied. "No, it's Stephen, with a PhD"
As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now.
After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.
When I asked him why chose English Literature he said he wanted to be "a great reader".
And apparently that doesn't mean pretty huge debt
A brain sturgeon.
It's called "Doctors without Boarders."
Strange...
And then he asked me to put him down and pick up all the books I threw all over the grass
Dr. Prepper, at your service.
Now he's Dr. Awkward.
He said "No beta, it's pronounced PH.D."
He is now Dr. Awkward.
1st son : Degree in Economics.
2nd son: MBA.
3rd son : PhD
4th son : Thief
Neighbour: Why can't you throw the
4th son out of your house?
Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
...to a cell-laboratory gathering
They are not as impressed when learning my dissertation was on the "effects of female ultrasonic vocalization on male impotence in rats"
She can talk about autoerotic asphyxiation until she's blue in the face!
A pretty huge...
Even though he only has a Public Highschool Diploma, he has been living a pretty happy life.
Side note: My father loves to make this joke, so I had to share.
Poke his eyes out
Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD
100
99 to earn a PhD in electrical engineering and interview for the job, and one to agree to do it for the "experience".
There was a suspicion of university diploma forgery. The police went to investigate that. "There was no proof that any crime was commited," said the police officer, John Brown J.D., M.D., B.D., Ph.D.
Theoretical fizz-ics.
He couldn't get past his masters.
and not 3rd degree torture?
Fizzy-ology.
It was a third degree burn.
Because they have No Gods, No Masters.
Do you even have a PhD?
just because he has a PhD in humanities.
Particle Fizzics.
The one with the Ph.D will blow your mind too!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the phd psychology jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working phd graduate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.