Pharmacy Jokes
108 pharmacy jokes and hilarious pharmacy puns to laugh out loud. Read places jokes about pharmacy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you work in a pharmacy? These funny pharmacy jokes will make your workday fly by and put a smile on your face. Get ready to laugh out loud with these pharmacy tech, April Fool's, Halloween, and Christmas jokes. Plus, don't miss our special Walgreens and druggist jokes. All jokes aside, just remember to always double-check those prescriptions!
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Funniest Pharmacy Short Jokes
Short pharmacy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pharmacy humour may include short pharmacist jokes also.
- At the pharmacy I asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around, looked them straight in the eyes and said, "Make that 52."
- A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy.
"ephedrine?"
"I can't serve you that"
"sudoephedrine"
"There you go". - I went to the pharmacy yesterday and asked the assistant "What kills coronavirus"? She replied "Ammonia cleaner"
I said "Sorry, I thought you worked here" - Why is it that there's no pharmacies in Africa? Because you shouldn't take medicine on an empty stomach.
- Today at the pharmacy I saw a woman without a face mask buying a pregnancy test. She clearly isn't a fan of protection
- Deaf people aren't known to be very rational They have trouble making sound decisions.
- How do you make a hormone? You pay her.
(This was told at my pharmacy school. We laughed and then felt shame afterwards.) - A woman goes to a pharmacy and asks if they have 12 inch size condoms. "How many do you want", pharmacist replies.
"None, just take my phone number and give it to anyone who comes to buy it". - A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Gimme some Chapstick... ...and put it on my bill."
- A guy enters the pharmacy... Guy: 5 packs of condoms please.
Cashier: Do you need a bag with those?
Guy: Don't worry she's pretty.
Share These Pharmacy Jokes With Friends
Pharmacy One Liners
Which pharmacy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pharmacy? I can suggest the ones about drug store and drugstore.
- A man using Apple map walks into a bar Or a pharmacy, or maybe a shoe store.
- I always walk very quietly past pharmacies... so I don't wake up the sleeping pills.
- I just got a job at a pharmacy. The pay isn't great... But the percs are amazing!
- Why there were no pharmacies in USSR? Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach
- Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy? In case you wake the sleeping pills!
- What does a pharmacy sell to help you fix your fingernails? Pharma-cuticles.
- What do you call a pharmacy's security guard? The fentanyl sentinel
- Why was there no tablets left at the pharmacy? Cause Paris eat 'em all
- What do you get if you combine Parah and Mercy? Pharmacy...
- A mother walks in to a Pharmacy with her little boy...
- A old man walks into a pharmacy... .
- Saying "super size it" at the drive-thru doesn't work when it's a pharmacy.
- Do you know about the biggest rival of pharmacy? Its pharonaldo
- What do you call a friend who works at a pharmacy A friend in high places!
- Why did Lionel go to the medical store? because it was pharmacy.
Pharmacy Drug Jokes
Here is a list of funny pharmacy drug jokes and even better pharmacy drug puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An odd look... Came to the counter of the pharmacy with a box if condoms... Person ringing me up gave me a quick odd look.... I caught it and said "oh, it's not what you think... I'm a drug mule"
- I just got fired from my new job at the pharmacy. Apparently "drug free workplace" and "free drug workplace" are not the same thing at all.
- I like to tell people my wife was top of her class until she learned about drugs in college. She got her degree in pharmacy and was in the top 5 in her graduating class.
- What do mother's who boycott pharmacy drugs and kids who stop playing valve's fps' have in common? They are both over the counter strike
Cvs Pharmacy Jokes
Here is a list of funny cvs pharmacy jokes and even better cvs pharmacy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Soo.... baltimore. Probably not the best idea to burn down a cvs pharmacy. The entire city needs a chill pill.
- People can change. I saw Ray Rice at a CVS pharmacy today. He was buying his wife makeup for Christmas.
- Wanna know why they burnt down the cvs pharmacy in Baltimore? They stopped selling newports...
Comedy Pharmacy Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about pharmacy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean medicine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pharmacy pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist...
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman with.
The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.
The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent e**.... It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3000 a month living expenses.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First Impressions
A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with s**....
Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.
Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"
Babe why are you so quiet?
"Babe why are you so quiet?" Bob's girlfriend asked him after dinner. "I invited you over to meet my parents, not to stare at your plate all night!" Bob replies "Well, I went to the pharmacy to pick up some condoms and asked the pharmacist to help me choose some." "And?" The girlfriend says. "I had no idea your dad was a pharmacist." Bob says
A man goes to audition for an anchor position at a local tv station
A man goes to the television station auditioning for an anchor position.
He sits down in front of the camera and begins, soon it is obvious that he has a terrible stutter, and hisleft eye continuously winks.
The producer says, "Thank you for your audition, we'll let you know."
The man says, "W-w-wait a moment, I c-c-can fix this."
He opens his breifcase, and about 200 condoms fall out, he digs deeper and pulls out a bottle of aspitin.
He take a single aspirin, and then re-reads his copy perfectly, his wink having vanished.
The producer is dumbfounded, and he says, "Thanks fantastic, but what's with the condoms?"
The man says, "This is what they give you if you stutter and wink and ask for aspirin at the pharmacy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a pharmacy
A man walks in to a pharmacy &, after several minutes, walks up to the woman behind the counter.
She asked, "How can I help you?"
The man replied, "I need to speak to a male pharmacist."
The woman responded with, "I'm sorry. My sister & I run this pharmacy. There are no males employed here. Sir, how can I help you? I am a pharmacist & I will be professional."
The man pondered over this & then said, "Well. OK. Every day, I have an e**... that lasts for 3 hours. I don't take any pills. It's just a natural occurrence. What can you give me for it?"
The pharmacist thought about it for a moment, then said, "Let me call my sister. Wait right here." She came back a few minutes later & said, "Here's what we can offer you: 1/3 ownership of the store, a company truck, a king size waterbed, & $3000/month living expenses."
A man takes his dog to a vet...
A man takes his dog to a vet because it has too much hair in its ears and is having trouble hearing. The vet suggests using nair hair removal cream to remove the large portion of hair from its ears.
So the man goes to a pharmacy and asks for some nair hair removal cream. Then at the counter, the pharmacist says, "ok if this is for your legs, don't wear any tight pants for a few days".
The man says, "its not for my legs".
The pharmacist then says, "ok if it's for your underarms, don't wear any tight shirts for a few days".
The man says, "its not for my underarms". The pharmacist then asks, "what is it for then?"
"It's for my schnauzer. "
Then don't ride your bike for a few days.
A Winking Salesman!
A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.
"Looking at your resume, I can see that you're more than qualified", says the interviewer. "Unfortunately, we can't have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can't hire you", adds the interviewer.
"But wait", says the man. "If I take two aspirin, I stop winking".
"Then show me", replies the interviewer.
So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colours before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.
"It's great. You stopped winking", says the interviewer, "but we can't have our salesmen womanizing all over the country".
"What do you mean?", asks the man. "I'm happily married".
"How do you explain all the condoms?" asks the interviewer.
"Oh, that", sighs the man. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Permanent e**...
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.
The man said, "This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent e**... which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "The best we can do is one third ownership in the store and 3000 Dollars a month in living expenses."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old ladies are outside smoking a cigarette
It starts raining and without hesitating one of the ladies pulls a c**... out of her purse and covers the cig to keep it from getting wet.
The other lady thinks this is genius and walks to the nearest pharmacy.
She grabs a pack of extra large condoms and proceeds to check out.
The cashier says," ma'am, are you sure you need these in extra large?"
The old lady replies, "well I'm not sure, do you think they'll fit a Camel?"
A Blonde and Condoms
The most beautiful blonde woman you've ever seen walks into the drugstore. She walks to the pharmacy and asks if they sell Extra-Large condoms, the cashier says yes and points her down aisle 11. About 30 minutes go by and the pharmacist notices that the blonde is still looking at the condoms. He decides to see if she needs any help. He says, "Did you find the extra large condoms?" She responds, "Yes, now I'm just waiting for someone to buy some."
A guy goes to a pharmacy and buys some slimming products.
He asks the pharmacist:
How much do you think I will be losing with this?
Pharmacist replies:
Well … around 200 bucks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 nuns were smoking when it started to rain...
The first nun takes out a c**... and cuts off the end and slides it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
The second nun notices that it is keeping the first nuns cigarette dry and asks "where'd you get that?"
"From the Pharmacy" replied the first nun.
So the second nun heads down to the pharmacy and asks the clerk for a pack of condoms.
"What size do you need" asked the clerk.
The nun replied - "Large enough to fit a Camel"
A duck walks into a pharmacy
grabs a tube of lipstick, puts it on the counter and the cashier says "that'll be $3.50. The duck says "just put it on my bill"
Overheard this one from some old guys getting changed at my local gym.
"So I go to the pharmacy and ask the guy if they have any Viagara. The guy there says yes, so I ask if they work and he replies 'you bet'. So next I ask "can I get it over the counter" to which he replies 'if you take two' "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Scottish Soldier marches into a pharmacy
A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy.
Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton
bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also
unfolds to reveal a c**....
The c**... has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the c**... into the silk square handkerchief
and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran, and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,
followed by an even greater shout.
The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the
proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he says. "We'll have a new one."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Box of condoms fall onto v**...'s lap on the way to the drive-in...
v**... - "What are these?"
Guy - "Umm.. those..those are cigarette holders!"
v**... - "Where do you get these cigarette holders?"
Guy - "At the pharmacy."
(The next day the v**... goes to the pharmacy to get herself some cigarette holders)
Pharmacist - "How may I help you?"
v**... - "I'd like a box of condoms, please."
Pharmacist - "Okay, what size do you need, Miss?"
v**... - "I'd say big enough for a camel!"
A blind man walks into a pharmacy...
... and almost immediately starts to knock into displays and topple products with his white cane. The pharmacist rushes over and asks if he can help him with anything.
"No thanks, I'm just looking."
What do you call that part of the pharmacy where they keep the condoms, birth-control pills, etc.?
The Contrasection.
I went to the pharmacy this morning and asked for 50 condoms.
The girl winked at me and said, "Oh, someone has a busy weekend ahead of them!"
"I know," I said. "I'm making a raincoat for my pet snake."
A man suffers from Blepharospasm (constant, uncontrollable winking) in one eye...
he complains to a friend that it gives him the most awful head aches. His friend asks, why don't you just get some aspirin from the pharmacy. He replies, I do, but every time I ask the pharmacist for an aspirin he gives me a packet of condoms.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Prescription
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eye got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to the pharmacy...
...and asks: 'Can I have some v**...?'
The pharmacist asks: 'Do you have a prescription?'
'No,' says the man, 'but I do have a picture of my girlfriend.'
A man walking in the street sees a coffin bouncing toward him
Terrified, he runs away, between cars, through front yards, nothing works
Finally, he runs into a pharmacy, and out of desperation throws a bottle of cough syrup at it
Only then does the coffin' stop
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy rushes into a pharmacy run by prudes...
Goes straight to the register and says in a loud voice "Gimme one c**...."
The cashier lady is outraged. "Young man! You mind that tongue of yours!"
"Right. Gimme two condoms, then."
Pharmacy
A man walks into a pharmacy - "Id like 3 packs of condoms please".
The pharmacist - "Here you go sir, would you like a bag".
Man: "No thanks, the girl is good looking".
A man goes into a pharmacy
And asks,
Do you have pills for memory?
The pharmacist says,
Yes we do.
And the man goes:
You do what?
When the sales guy at the pharmacy told me that they had unfortunately run out of tea sweeteners
I politely pointed to the homeopathic medicines aisle and said "No you have not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently attended a f**...
And the procession was going up a steep hill on Main Street. Well all of a sudden the door of the hearst flew open and the coffin fell out. Since the road was so steep it flew back down Main street and into a pharmacy where it crashed into the counter. The lids popped open and the deceased says to the astonished pharmacist, "You got anything to stop this coffin?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a pharmacy to buy condoms...
The pharmacist looks at him and asked him if his wife had stopped taking her birth control pills.
"No, these are for my daughter", the man answered
"Oh, is your daughter s**... active?" Asked the pharmacist.
"No, she just lays there, just like her mom"
What's the difference
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys some antibiotics, pays $25.45, walks out. A second later, the pharmacist bolts out of the pharmacy, catches up with the man, and breathlessly says: "sir, there's been a mistake! Instead of the antibiotics, I gave you Cyanide. " The man asks: "and what's the difference?" The pharmacist says: "two dollars and ten cents".
The husband asks the wife...
The husband asks the wife:
-Babe which do you like the best, strawberry or banana?
The wife asks him:
-Why are you at the Supermarket?
The husband replys:
No I'm at the pharmacy...
A guy walks into a pharmacy buys a pack of condoms and walks out laughing
He does this every day consecutive for a week. Finally the pharmacy owner asks his assistant to follow the man the next time he returns. Sure enough the man returns the next day and walks out laughing once again. The assistant follows him and returns about half an hour later. When the pharmacist asked where he had followed him the assistant simply replied "your house".
An old lady walks into a pharmacy
\- I would like to buy a pack of acetylsalicylic acid.
\- Do you mean aspirin?
\- Oh yes! I couldn't remember the name!
A woman goes to the pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
The pharmacist looked stunned and couldn't believe what she had asked for but he was still curious.
"Why would you want to get cyanide?"
The women replied, "My husband has been having an affair and I want to poison him."
The pharmacist tried to reason with the woman, " I can't do this for you. I would lose my license and you and I would go to prison for this."
Then the woman reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband and a woman going into a motel. Upon closer inspection the woman in the picture was the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looks at the woman and says, "Why didn't you just say you had a prescription?"
I asked my dad how I was born
Me: Dad, how was I born ?
Dad: It's a really long story
Me: (all excited) Tell me..I wana hear it
Dad: Once upon a time, it was a cold night and all the pharmacies were closed....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was an old lady who heard you could keep cigarettes dry at the beach by stuffing the pack into a c**....
She stopped into the pharmacy to pick some up. The pharmacist said "What brand of condoms do you prefer ma'am." She said "I'm not sure, they're for my Camels," at which point he fainted.
My girlfriend told me she had never heard of condoms...
I thought she must be pulling my leg so I played along. Oh yeah? I said, They're for covering your cigarettes in the rain.
Well one day we were in a pharmacy and she asked the clerk for a package of condoms. He asked what kind, and she said oh, to fit a camel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If m**... starts getting sold in a grocery store...
Would it be in the pharmacy or the baking aisle?
A small issue
A guy goes to the doctor: Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can't control.
Doctor: Ah come on, it's not so bad as you think.
Guy: Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the pharmacy to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!
Sign in pharmacy; Preperation H for sale, free delivery.
of course i couldnt resist,I took out my pen and added in ... and installation
Girl are you a BD due pen needle?
because you ultra fine
This killed at the pharmacy I work in.
My grandpa left to pick up his prescription across town.
About 10 minutes later I saw a wrong way driver on the news. I got worried since my grandpa had to take that route to get to the pharmacy and called quickly to warn him.
Me: "Grandpa be careful on I-94 there's a man driving in the wrong direction."
Grandpa: "It's not just one! There are hundreds of them!"
When a woman goes to a pharmacy to buy baby oil its for the baby, when a man goes to buy baby oil its for the woman
Today i went to the pharmacy
and the pharmacist told me a joke but i didn't know when to laugh before or after eating.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton-b**... and a ball of string on the counter.
The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she."
Went hiking and got a little poison ivy on myself.
When I went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication I had to make a rash decision.
A man walks into a Pharmacy and asks for cyanide
Pharmacist : What do you need it for?
Man : I need to kill my wife.
Pharmacist : Sorry sir, I can't give you cyanide.
Man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a photo of his ugly wife.
Pharmacist blushes and replies : I am sorry sir , I didn't realize you have prescription.
A man walks into a pharmacy to buy some condoms
The pharmacist takes note and says Big night tonight eh?
The man responds Yeah, meeting the new girls' parents for dinner tonight and I'm trying to get lucky.
He heads to his girlfriend's house later that night and sits down before eating to pray.
And pray
And pray
After a few minutes his girlfriend leans over and says I didn't know you were so religious
He leans over and says I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Someone asked an Indian girl how she got married?
"I used to work at a pharmacy and my would-be husband came and asked for an XXXXXXL c**....
It was only after the arranged marriage I found out that he has a stutter."
What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the body builder in his pharmacy?
These are not the 'roids you are looking for.
Lily went to a nearby pharmacy to buy her partner some deodorant.
A salesclerk comes up to her and asks what she's looking for.
"I'm looking for some deodorant for my boyfriend, but I don't know what kind he uses."
"Is it the ball type?"
"No," she replied. "It's for his armpits."
Outside the pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching into a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?
Assistant replies: Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help.
Pharmacist says: He seems to be fine now.
Assistant replies: Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough!
A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?
You mean aspirin? asked the pharmacist.
That's it! I can never remember that word.
Nurse: Doctor, what is the medicine on this prescription? I went to 50 pharmacies still couldn't find one.
Doctor: I was just checking if my pen work's.
A hearse is traveling up an icy hill when the back doors fly open.
The coffin drops on the street. It slides down the hill, and goes through a house. It keeps going through a school, then a church, then a grocery store, and then through a gas station. It busts through an arcade, and then through an office building. It breaks through the front door of a pharmacy and finally stops at the pharmacy counter, the lid opens, and the man inside sits up. He looks at the pharmacist and asks, "Do you have anything to stop this coffin?"
A man walked into a pharmacy.
"Do you have anything to cure hiccups?" he asked.
The pharmacist didn't reply.
Again, the man asked "Excuse me, I asked if you have anything for hiccups?"
Still the pharmacist stayed silent.
The man started getting annoyed. "Can you hear me? I'm looking for something fo-"
Suddenly the pharmacist leaned over the counter and slapped the man across his face.
"There, you're not hiccuping anymore, are you?!" The pharmacist said triumphantly.
The man replied angrily "No but my wife waiting in the car is."
A group of Soviet tourists takes express-lesson of Italian before departure.
-Write a couple of phrases in Italian - tour guide says - such as: ''How much does lemonade cost?'', ''Where is the pharmacy?''
One of the tourists asks:
-How do I say ''Please, provide me a political asylum''?
-What have you just said? - asks another tourist seriously.
-Nevermind, just wanted to know which one of you is our KGB senior for this trip.
Man walks into a Pharmacy
"Can I buy some silicon dioxide?"
"Sorry sir, we don't sell that."
"But you have loads in the window."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A constipated man goes to the pharmacy for laxatives
Man: Box of laxatives please
Chemist: Sorry I'm out of stock
Man: What, again? But I'm desperate
Chemist: Well that's tough s**... I'm afraid
Mothballs
A small town guy comes into a pharmacy and asks the guy at the counter:
"What do you have to get rid of the darn moths?"
The pharmacist sells him a pack of mothballs.
A day later he comes in and asks for fifty packs.
"Why do you need so many?" asks the pharmacist
-"Your mothballs are great, but them darn moths are so hard to hit"
How did you meet your ex?
I was working in a pharmacy and he came in asking for xxxxl condoms.
But why did it last for such a short time ?
I soon realised he had a bad stutter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For a long time, I was told I should weigh myself n**..., because it's the most accurate way of measuring my weight.
If that's true, I still don't get why I was kicked out of the pharmacy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old ladies smoking
Two old ladies are outside smoking cigarettes when it starts to rain. One pulls out a c**..., cuts off the tip, slides it over her cigarette and keeps smoking.
The other old lady is surprised and asks about it. The first one explains that it's just a c**.... She buys them at the pharmacy and uses them to keep her cigarettes dry when it rains.
The second old lady is intrigued by the idea and the next day she heads to the pharmacy. She goes up to the counter and asks for a pack of condoms.
The pharmacist asks what size she needs and she says, Just whatever will fit a camel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pharmacy
The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what? s up. "He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn't find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once. " "Laxatives won't cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily. "Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough. "
