Petrol Station Jokes
17 petrol station jokes and hilarious petrol station puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about petrol station that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Petrol Station Short Jokes
Short petrol station jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The petrol station humour may include short service station jokes also.
- I got really emotional at the petrol station earlier. I don't know what came over me, I just started filling up.
- I didn't hear the sea when I held a Shell up I did, however, get six years in jail for armed robbery of a petrol station.
- I'm not one to brag about going to expensive places … But guess who's just been to the petrol station!
- Saw this one on the gas nozzle at my petrol station today... *What did the Termite say when he walked into the bar?*
"Is the bar tender here?" - Expensive Date She asked me to take her somewhere really really expensive... So, we enjoyed our first date under the night lights of BPs forecourt petrol station.
- Basil Brush went to fill up his car with petrol. His phone suddenly went off... The petrol station went BOOM BOOM!
- When women are at the petrol station Do they shake the handle/nozzle when they are done pumping, or is that just a guy thing?
- When I got home last night my wife demanded that I 'take her somewhere expensive'...
I took her to a petrol station... - Apparently there's a s**... shortage in the UK Probably because all the wankers have gone to the petrol station
Share These Petrol Station Jokes With Friends
Petrol Station One Liners
Which petrol station one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with petrol station? I can suggest the ones about gas station and petrol.
- A guy goes to a petrol station and fills his car up. He couldn't get back in.
Petrol Station Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about petrol station you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gas pump jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make petrol station pranks.
A blonde...
...works in a petrol station filling up cars. One day, a spaceship with 'UFO' written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flied off.
The blonde's boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.
"Do you know what 'UFO' stands for?" He asks.
"Of course." She replies, "Unleaded Fuel Only".
credits to u/Mr-Everest
Kit Kat
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, fatty."
An Estonian visits russia
He departs from Tallinn, the journey goes as planned until, 2 hours and a half in, he realizes he needs petrol otherwise he won't get to russia, so he stops at a gas station near narva, and decides to get a snack and go to the bathroom. So before filling up his car he gets off, walks to the gas station's shop's counter and asks for a sandwich, he eats it, and then goes to the bathroom, seeing all the doors closed, he knocks.
"Occupied"
"Again?!"
Man goes to a petrol station.
It's night time and one of those serving hatches. Talks to the girl. Can I have a can of coke and a Kit kat Chunky?
Off the girl goes to get his stuff. "There you go," she says, "One can of coke and a KitKat Chunky."
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal Kitkat, you fat cow."
A black man walks into a petrol station and says to the cashier, "Gimme all the money in the till or I'll blow you away!"
A black man walks into a gas station and says to the cashier, "Gimme all the money in the till or I'll blow you away!"
The cashier says, "But you haven't got a gun!"
The black man says, "Sorry, force of habit. Pump number four, please."
A man needs to inflate his tyres...
...so he stops at a petrol station, and finds that the air pump needs a token from the petrol station shop in order to work.
The man goes in and asks for one of the tokens.
"That will be 25p" says the cashier, who he pays and gets the token.
The man returns to his car and starts inflating his tyres, and swears as he realises the machine ran out of time half way through.
He goes back into the shop and asks for another token.
"That will be 50p" says the cashier.
"What?!" exclaims the man "It was 25p a minute ago!"
The cashier shrugs and replies "That's inflation for you"