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Pet Parrot Jokes

57 pet parrot jokes and hilarious pet parrot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pet parrot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Pet Parrot Short Jokes

Short pet parrot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pet parrot humour may include short parrot jokes also.

  1. I'm really tired of seeing "treat your pets like a member of your family" parroted all over the internet. I would never treat my pets that badly.
  2. My parrots are stuck together... Pet owner: Vet, vet, my parrots are stuck together!
    Vet: I'm sorry, I don't understand - it's toucan fusing
  3. So this Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says, 'nice pet, where'd you get him?' and the parrot says, 'France, they got a million of 'em!'
  4. Why did the pet owner get upset with his parrot? ...because he was using too much fowl language
  5. A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap? "Because this s**... parrot keeps reposting c**... jokes" said the pet store employee.
  6. I'm sad to announce that my pet parrot died today. His last words were s**..., I think my parrot is about to die

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Pet Parrot One Liners

Which pet parrot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pet parrot? I can suggest the ones about parrot talk and colorful parrot.

  1. Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Eeeeee....
  2. My geometry teacher is really upset that her pet parrot died yesterday. Polly gone.
  3. What did the mathematician say about the death of his pet parrot? "Polynomial. Polygon."
  4. My pet parrot died of obesity. It was a huge weight off my shoulders.
  5. I saw a pet store named "Casablanca" The sign read "We'll always have parrots"

Cheeky Pet Parrot Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about pet parrot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pirate parrot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pet parrot pranks.

A man goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot.

He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead, the parrot just swears at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird, the man finally says, "If you don't stop swearing, I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment." The parrot continues, so finally the man puts the bird in the freezer. About an hour later, the parrot asks the man to please open the door. As the man takes the shivering bird out of the freezer, it says, "I promise to never swear again. Just tell me what that turkey did!"

A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home.


But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really n**..., so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.
He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet.
The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"

One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together over the redhead's house while the redhead's father was out.
The father had a pet parrot, which he did n
ot let anyone else touch.
But, when he left, the girls took him out.
The girls were playing with it, when the blonde grabbed the parrot and accidentally ripped out one of its wings.
“Now you've done it!” the red head yelled at the blonde.
“Go buy him another one just like that, here's some money.”
The redhead went into her piggy bank and gave the blonde $50.
“Okay,” said the blonde, “but it's going to hard to find a parrot with only one wing.”

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.


The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one.
The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?"
The assistant says, "$2000."
The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive.
The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast."
"What about the green one?" the man asks.
The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes."
"What about the red one?" the man asks.
The assistant says, "That one's $10,000."
The man says, "What does HE do?"
The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.


The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."

Extreme sports

Five men walk into a pet store and buy a hen, a parrot and a budgie. The next day they head to the top of a cliff, where the first man grabs the hen and jumps off the cliff, falling to his death. The second man nervously clutches the parrot and proceeds to jump off the cliff with it as well, also resulting in his untimely death. Man number three shrugs off the odds of his death, grabs the budgie and also creates a horrible mess on the rocks below. The fourth man observes all of this and admits to the last man:
"I consider myself a brave man, but don't ever expect me to try hen-gliding, parrot-chuting or budgie-jumping anytime soon; it's overrated."

I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine

A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".
"$500? Why is it so expensive?"
"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"
"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"
"$2000!"
"$2000?"
"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"
"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"
"The third one costs $200,000".
"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"
"absolute nothing."
"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"
"because the other two parrots call him boss".

This is a very special parrot...

A man walks into the pet shop and sees a parrot with on each leg 1 string. "Where are these strings for?" Asks the man to the seller. He answers: "This is a very special parrot. If you pull the right string, then he says" good morning ". Pull the left string and he says 'good night'." "Really?" Says the man. "And what happens if I pull both strings at once?" Responds the parrot: "Then I fall, Idiot!"

During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas.

Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, "Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"

"Well, there is Chet, the parrot," the assistant replies.

Chet looks like any normal parrot, nothing special, so the guy asks, "What's so Christmassy about him?"

"Well, he can sing Christmas carols," says the assistant.

"Really?"

"Yup," says the assistant. "Lemme show ya. See, all ya gotta do is light a match and hold it under his left foot, like so, and Chet'll go..."

"Awrrk! Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul..." Chet sings.

"Wow, that's amazing! Does he do any more?"

"Sure does! Now, if you hold the match under his right foot instead, he'll go..."

"Awrrk! Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose..." Chet sings.

Well, now the guy is really impressed, but he has to ask, "Does Chet know any more carols?"

"Oh, sure, he knows one more! See, if you hold the match BETWEEN his two feet, he goes..."

"Awrrk! Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."

John gets a Christmas parrot

John decided to get his wife a Christmas present. Maybe a puppy. Walking in to the pet store, he searches for the right puppy.
"Excuse me sir, are you looking for a Christmas present?" the clerk asked. "Yes, I think she would like a puppy," John replies.
"Here," motioning towards the back of the store, "we have a very special bird, Chet. He sings Christmas carols. See, light a match and hold it under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh." "Perfect," John exclaims.
Molly was home as she hears John knocking on the door. Letting him in, John proudly smiles, "His name is Chet. I got you a singing parrot!" Raising a eyebrow, Molly stares at him. Placing the parrot on his stand, John lights a match. "Listen to him sing when I hold the match under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing again, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh."
"Well, what do you think?" Jon smiles. Molly stood quietly, "What would happened if you hold the match, well, between his feet?"
Holding the match between his feet, the parrot squawks, "CHET'S NUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!"

My 2nd Parrot joke!

A woman goes to a pet store and buys a parrot. Before she leaves the owner warns her that the Parrot had previously lived in a brothel and might have picked up some salty language. When she gets the bird home he looks around and says "New house."
She puts the bird down in the house and the parrot observes her for a moment before saying "New Madam."
The woman shrugs and thinks that it's not so bad.
Shortly after the woman's two daughters return from school and see the new pet. The Parrot looks at them and says "New girls."
Then her husband comes home from work and the parrot looks over at him and says: "Hi Bill."

Woman buys parrot

A woman walks into a pet store, and is perusing through the various animals when she comes across one of the most beautiful parrots she has ever seen. She's taken aback by the tropical beauty of this bird, and when she looks on the price tag on the cage it says 50$. The woman turns to the man at the front counter and asks "Why is a bird this beautiful being sold for this little?" The man looks up and says "Oh, that bird was originally kept in a house of prostitution, and boy does he have a mouth". The woman takes the words to heart but buys the bird anyway. She buys it, and takes it home with her. She puts the bird in the living room. Suddenly the bird squawks "NEW HOUSE NEW MADAME!" The woman is put off by this but she figures that in a few days the bird will get over it. Her daughters come home from school and the bird speaks again "NEW HOUSE, NEW MADAME, NEW GIRLS!" Again the woman is off put but she assures her kids that the bird will grow out of its old habits. The woman's husband gets back in from a day at work. The parrot takes one look at him and squawks:
"HI GARY!!"

Pet-store parrots.

A man walks into a pet store looking to buy a parrot, he sees 3 next to each other. He goes to the cashier and says, "How much for the first parrot on the left?" the cashier replies "2000$" " 2000$! What can it do for that price?" "It can write and take notes" the owner says. The man nods and asks the price of the second parrot, "5000$" What can that one do? The man asks again. "Oh that one can use the computer and send emails." The man nods again, "Ok how about the last one?" "The last one? 10,000$." The mans jaw drops. "What can that one do?" The pet store owner shrugs and says "I don't have a clue but the other two call him boss."

A lady walks into a pet store

A lady walks into a pet store and immediately sees a parrot in a cage.
The parrot sees the lady and starts talking to her;
Parrot: "Hey lady, hey!"
Lady: " What is it?"
Parrot: "You're ugly."
The lady gets offended and leaves the store.
The next day the lady comes back to the same pet store and sees the same parrot. The parrot, just like it did the day before, starts talking to her.
Parrot: "Hey lady, hey!"
Lady: "What is it?"
Parrot: "You're ugly."
The lady becomes furious and decided to talk to the manager. She told the manager that if they don't do anything about that parrot she will sue them. The manager apologizes and assures her that it will all be fixed and the parrot won't say anything offensive anymore, for it is a very smart parrot.
The lady returns to the same pet store the next day and sees the same parrot. The parrot, just like it did the last two days, starts talking to her.
Parrot: "Hey lady, hey!"
Lady: "WHAT?!"
Parrot: "...You know."

So a woman walks into a pet store...

and sees a parrot on sale for 50 bucks. Now, a parrot is a pretty expensive bird, so she asks the man behind the counter why the bird was on sale, and he tells her; "Well the bird used to live in a brothel, so sometimes it says some pretty v**... things." The woman thinks for a minute, and says, "I guess that's fine. I'll take him". So she brings the bird home and sets its cage up near the front door. When he knows what's going on he says, "new house, new madame!" The woman thinks to herself, "it came from a brothel, so I guess it's just learning". The woman's daughters get home from school and the bird says, "new house, new girls, new madame!". "It will just take time" she thinks. Then the woman's husband gets home and the bird says, "hi Jeff!"

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife.


The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird.
The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter.
The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night."
The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way."
The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. He rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent.
Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells."
The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead.
Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing "Chet's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"

The pet shop parrot.

A lady was walking to work and passed a pet shop when a parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" This made the lady very angry, but she ignored the parrot and continued on her way.
On her way home from work later that day, she passed by the pet shop again, and yet again the parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" Furious, the lady stormed into the store to talk to the manager, threatening to go to the police.
The store manager apologised profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot never said that again.
The next day, she deliberately passed by the pet shop to see if the manager had kept his promise. "Hey, lady!" the parrot said.
"Yes?"
"You know."

The parrot in a pet store

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!"
The lady was furious and continued on her way.
On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!"
She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue them. The manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.
The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot.
"Hey, lady!" it said.
"Yes?"
"You know."

The Boss.

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks him to choose one.
The man asks, How much is the yellow one?
The assistant replies that it costs $2,000. The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. This parrot is a very special one. He can type really fast.
What about the green one? the man asks. He costs $5,000 because he can type, answer incoming phone calls and takes notes.
What about the red one? the man asks. The assistant says, That one's $10,000.
Curious, the man asks, What does he do? The assistant says, I don't know, but the other two call him boss.

The boss!

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''
The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''
''What about the green one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''
''What about the red one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''
The man says, ''What does HE do?''
The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''

Hey Lady!

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was angry, but she continued on her way.
On the way home, she passed by the pet store again, and again, the parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!"
This continued for a couple weeks. Eventually, the lady stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store if the parrot did not stop insulting her.
The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.
The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!"
"Yes?", she said
The parrot said, "You know."

Christmas in July

A guy wants to get a really unique gift for his new wife for their fist Christmas together so he walks into a pet store with a sign advetising an amazing singing parrot. He goes to the counter to explain his situation and inquires about the bird. The shop keeper explains the bird would be perfect and takes the man over to show him what the bird can do.
The shop keeper explains that the bird's name is Chet and that he works on cues then produces a book of matches from his pocket. Lighting one he holds it below the parrots right foot and immediately Chet begins to sing "Silent Night" so beuatiful it rivals Perry Como. The keeper then moves the match to the left foot and Chet begans singing "White Christmas" even more beautifully than the first song.
The man exclaims "Thats amazing, does he know any other songs?"
Oh yes, replies the shop keeper as he moves the match to between the birds legs..."Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire"

the green parrot

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks to choose.
The mans asks "How much is the yellow one?"
Assistant: "$2000"
The man is shocked and asks the assistant why is it so expensive. The assistant explains "He knows typewriting and type really fast"
"What about the red one?" The man asks
The assistant says "He costs $5000 becuase he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes."
"What about the Green one?" the man asks
The assistant says, "That one's for $10,000."
The man says, "and what does he do?"
The assistant replies, "I dont know, but the other two call him BOSS."

A lady walks into a pet store...

She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO
The lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why so cheap?" The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things." The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway.
She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is "Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking." The lady finds it amusing.
Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New w**... in the house, business will be booming tonight." The girls are shocked but laugh it off.
A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says "Hey Jim."

A man's parrot had recently died...

...so he goes to a pet store to get another animal to cheer him up. The pet store owner asks him what he's looking for. The man replies his parrot has recently passed away, and he wants another animal that can talk.
The owner says he doesn't have any parrots, but a centipede that can talk. The man buys the centipede and a cage for it, then heads home. A few hours later, the man wants to see if the centipede can really talk, so he goes up to the cage and asks: "Do you want to go out for something to eat?" There's no reply, so the man asks again, in a louder tone: "Do you want to go out for something to eat?".
Again, no reply. The man gets extremely frustrated, thinking the store owner ripped him off, and yells: "DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT FOR SOMETHING TO EAT!". A tiny voice replies: "I heard you the first time! I was just putting on my shoes!"

Talking Parrot :)

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and warned she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said,"Yes?"
The bird said, "You know."

Parrot Shopping

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''
The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''
''What about the green one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''
''What about the red one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''
The man says, ''What does HE do?''
The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''

X-ray Parrot

A street vendor claims that his pet parrot can tell the color of the p**... of the women walking by.
Three nuns come by and the parrot yells "yellow, white, green!"
The nuns are impressed.
The next day the parrot says "blue, orange, purple!!" and the nuns can't believe it.
The third day, they decide to throw a curve ball and not wear anything.
The parrot says "s**..., s**..., curly"

A black man walks into a bar...

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, and approaches the bartender for a drink.
"That's a cool pet," says the bartender, "where on earth did you get it?"
"Africa," said the parrot.

Cheap parrot

A woman decides she wants to buy a pet so she heads down to the local pet store. After a bit of browsing, she fixes her attention on a lovely talking parrot on sale for only $10. The clerk tells her the parrot's going cheap because it used to live in a house of ill repute so it may not be the most family friendly of pets. Thinking this deal is too good to pass up, she buys it without hesitation.
She gets home and places the parrot near the entrance. The parrot looks around and says, "New house, new madame!" The woman is startled by this but laughs it off. Later, her two teenage daughters get home, the parrot looks at them and remarks, "New house, new madame, new prostitutes!" The girls are shocked by this but after some explaining by the mom, they all laugh it off. The woman is delighted and eagerly awaits her husband so she can see what his reaction will be.
The husband arrives moments later. The parrot looks at him and says,"Hello Keith!"

A mom buys an old parrot from a w**.....

A mom buys an old parrot in a w**... and proceeds to bring it home for the family to enjoy their new pet.
As she brings the parrot inside the house the parrot says "ah, new house!" and she bursts in laughter.
Later that day, the daughters arrive from school and promptly the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes!" and they all burst in laughter.
Some time goes by, and after a long day of work the dad finally arrives home, and without wasting time, the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes, same old customers. Good night Mr. Williams"

A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop

A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop. He has a parrot on his head.
The cashier asks him, "Why is that on your head?"
The man replies, "it keeps the elephants away".
The cashier, bewildered, states, "But there are no elephants here!"
"Then clearly the parrot is working"

Stan Lee stopped by my rooftop apartment to check out my comic collection. Things were fine until he saw my pet parrots; he suddenly started blubbering! I pointed out there were parrots in the foyer as well, & they didn't affect him. For some reason, only my parrots upset him. Now I'm wondering...

...why do birds sadden Lee up here?

A wife goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot for the family pet

The wife is given an option and since she doesn't have too much money goes for the cheapest one and wonders why it is cheap. The owner tells her it is because it is from a brothel.
When she arrives home the parrot says: "Another new brothel for s**..."
Then when the daughter arrives the parrot says: "A new face has come"
Then when the father comes home, the parrot says: "John, I haven't seen you in weeks, would you like the usual?"

I walked into a pet shop.

I said, "I want to return this bird cage. My girlfriend's parrot is dead. Choked to death."
He said, "Have you got the receipt?"
I said, "No."
He said, "Why not? We need proof that you paid for it."
I said, "The parrot ate it."

Pets are like countries.

Dogs are like Canada. They're incredibly friendly, but to some, to a naive degree.

Cats are like England. They're rude and act like they're better than everybody, but we find them so charming for some reason.

Parrots are like America. They blindly repeat anybody they believe is of higher intelligence, especially if the owner is Russian.

Goldfish are like Carpatho-Ukraine. They'd be lucky to last a year.

I tried to translate my German grandfathers' favorite joke

A woman walks past a pet shop. In front of the store there is a cage with a parrot, that suddenly starts talking to the woman: "You're ugly"
The woman quickly walks away.
At the next day the woman again walks past the shop and the parrot again says "You're ugly".
This time the woman goes in the shop and complains to the salesman.
The salesman apologizes and tells the parrot to not say this ever again.
The next day the woman again walks past the pet shop and is happy to see the parrot turned completely silent. Provokingly she slows down. Suddenly the parrot starts screeching:
"I'm not saying anything but you know it!"

Cake Day Joke!

An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot and asked the owner if she could buy it. The owner said, Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me – you do not want that parrot!
She said, I can teach it good manners.  
But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds.
She took it out and said, Did you learn your lesson? It said another bad word so she put it back in for 30 seconds. She took it out and asked if it learned its lesson yet. 
The parrot said Brr… Yes I learned my lesson, but, what did the chicken do?

Foul mouthed parrot

An old woman has a pet parrot with a filthy vocabulary. She warns him again and again to clean up his language. He just replies, "S\*!#w You, you old B\*\^$h.
So she grabs him and sticks him in the fridge to teach him a lesson.
As the poor parrot is there in the fridge, getting colder and colder, he spots a chicken, plucked and ready for the oven. He exclaims, "Holy s**...! What did you say to her"!

A woman got a pet parrot, but she was horrified to discover that all it did was say mean things and insult her.

Nothing she did could stop it.
She was especially worried because her whole family was coming over for Thanksgiving.
But when Thanksgiving dinner finally came, the parrot didn't say a word the entire time. After the meal, the Parrot turned to its owner and said, "Please forgive my behavior from before. I was entirely out of line."
"Wow," the woman said, "glad to hear it."
"If I may ask," said the Parrot, "what on Earth
did that turkey say to you?"

A woman went to buy a parrot from a pet shop

She found one for only £5. She took it to the shopkeeper, and asked if the price was right. The shopkeeper said "he's that price because he lived in a brothel for 3 years."
The woman thought that it would be fine, so bought the parrot.
When she got it home, the parrot looked around, saying things like:
"A chair, yes. Very fine very fine."
"A coffee machine. Very fine."
The woman's children walked in.
"Ah, children, very fine very fine."
The woman's husband walked in.
"Hello Keith"