Pet Monkey Jokes

A monkey escaped from the petting zoo.

He rode out the gates on the back of a baby sheep.
Authorities have stated that he is on the lamb.

A man went back to a pet store fuming.

"Excuse me," he said to the pet shop owner. "That trained monkey you sold me yesterday died!"
"Wow," the owner replied. "He could never do that trick when I owned him."

A man was moving to another country and needed to find a new home for his 15 pet monkeys.

He saw a man driving down the road with a big van and so he shouted after him,
"I'll give you €50 to bring these monkeys to the zoo for me"
The man with the van agreed and left with the monkeys in his van.
A couple of hours go by and while he is on his way to the airport, he sees the man with the van again coming up the road with all 15 monkeys still in the back.
"I thought I gave you money to bring those monkeys to the zoo?"
"I did, we had some change from the €50 so I'm bringing them to the cinema now"

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey

Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a monkey.

The shop owner points to 3 identical looking monkeys on a perch and says the monkey on the left cost $ 500.00
Why does that one cost so much? asked the shopper.
The owner says well the monkey knows how to use a computer.
The man then asks about the next monkey and was told that this one cost $1000.00,…
because it can do everything the other monkey can do plus he knows the Unix operating system.
Naturally the increasingly startled man asks about the third monkey to be told that it costs $ 2000.00
Needles to say this begs the question.
What can it do?
To which the owner replies:
To be honest I have never seen him do a thing but the other two call him BOSS.