pet alligator Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious pet alligator puns

A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator

He asks, _"Do you serve lawyers here?"_

The bartender says, _"Yes, of course we do!"_

The man says, _"OK, I'll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator."_


A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator...

Bar man: "You need to leave because if that alligator bites someone I'll get sued!"

Alligator owner: "No no he's tame! Watch I'll prove it."

He then zips down his fly and puts his cock inside the alligators mouth. The alligator keeps its mouth open the whole time. He then zips his pants back up and says

"See I told you he was tame! Anyone else like to try?"

drunk guy at the bar: "Yeah Id like to try but I don't think I can keep my mouth open that long."


A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator on a leash... (NSFW)

As he walks in, all the patrons of the bar gasp.

The man then says, "Relax. He is very trained. Here; watch!"
He plops his 5 foot long pet alligator on the bar counter and says, "Open!"
The alligator's mouth opens wide, then the man unzips his pants and proceeds to stick his d*ck in it.

He holds this position for 5 minutes until he zips back up and tells the alligator, "Close." And it does.

The man then asks if there is anyone else in the bar who wants to try.

An old man from a corner of the bar shouts, "Boy, I'll sure try but I don't know if I can keep my mouth open that long!"


A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator...

He puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside, leave them there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?" The crowd mumurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligators open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.
After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered. "Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd. After a few seconds a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I'll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."


Skinny Dippers

A farmer in Maine was just finishing up a tough day in the Summer Sun. He decided that after such a tough day the perfect thing he needed was a walk around his pond. The blueberries were in full bloom so he decided that it was worthwhile to pick some up for breakfast the next day, so he grabbed a bucket.

As he approached the lake he heard some girls laughing and giggling. Fortunately for the girls they saw him force and quickly retreated to the deeper waters. As he noticed them he smiled to himself. There were three gorgeous girls covering themselves - *skinny dippers* he thought to himself.

"We're not coming out until you leave!" One of the girls shouted at him.

He frowned and furrowed his brow. "Honestly, I didn't come down here to see some naked girls or anything of the like. I don't care if you stay in there or leave." He lifted the bucket slightly. "I'm just here to feed my pet alligator, Bill."


A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator...

...and the bartender says, "Hey! Get that thing outta here!"

The guy says, "Wait, wait, he's totally harmless. I've had this alligator since he was a baby and I've trained him to be completely under my control."

Dubious, the bartender says, "I don't know if I believe you, and I think it will still scare my customers, so please just leave."

"Listen," the man says. "If I can prove it to you and everyone in here that this alligator is completely harmless, will you let me stay and have a drink?"

So the bartender agrees, albeit a bit apprehensively, not sure what the man has in mind. The man then commands the alligator to open its mouth and the beast does. The man then sticks his head inside the alligator's gaping maw, and the crowd gasps, but the alligator doesn't bite down. Finally, the man pounds his fist on the top of the alligator's head three times and still the animal's jaws remain open.

The man removes his head from the alligator's mouth and says, "See, he's completely harmless. In fact, I can do this trick with anyone! Who here wants to give this a try?"

A blonde stands up in the back of the bar and says, "Okay, I'll give it a shot, but please don't hit me on the head that hard."


A man walks into a bar with a pet Aligator

So a man walks into a bar with his pet alligator and the bartender says "woah there buddy we don't allow dangerous murdering animals in here" and the guy responds "no, no it's totally tame I'll prove it" and then tells it "open", it opens it mouth and he sets his package in it. After a few minutes he puts it back in his pants and says "see, perfectly tame. Now would anyone else like to try?
Guy at the end of the bar says "yeah, but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long"


Alligator in the bar

A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator. The bartender sees the man and his pet and tells the man "hey! You can't have that animal in here! He'll bite someone and I'll get sued!" The man replies "This alligator is tame and wouldn't hurt anyone! Look, I'll show you!" The man then pulls his pants down and places his genitals in the alligators mouth. The bartender stares in amazement at how tame the alligator is and after 5 minutes have passed the man pulls his genitals out of the alligators mouth. The bartender says "he really is a tame, ok he can stay." The man then says "would anyone else like to give it a try?" And from the dark corner of the bar a drunken man yells out "I'll do it!!... but I don't think I can keep my mouth open for that long."


A woman goes to the vet with her pet alligator...

She says "doctor, there is something wrong with my gator. I just caught him acting like a cat and meowing at a squirrel instead of eating it!"

After running a few tests the vet concludes that the alligator has a-reptile dysfunction.


I told my pet alligator to stay outside

But he caiman anyway


On the one hand, I really like petting alligators...

^^^^^there ^^^^^is ^^^^^nothing ^^^^^here.


A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side.

He put the alligator up on the bar.
He turned to the astonished patrons and said, "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute."
He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth.
The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.
The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
A hush fell over the crowd.
After a while, a hand went up at the end of the bar and a woman timidly spoke up.
"I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle."


What are the most funny Pet Alligator jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Pet Alligator? Well, here are the best Pet Alligator dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Pet Alligator pick up lines to share with friends.

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