Pessimistic Jokes
44 pessimistic jokes and hilarious pessimistic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pessimistic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pessimistic Short Jokes
Short pessimistic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pessimistic humour may include short optimistic jokes also.
- A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel
A REALIST sees a freight train
The TRAIN driver sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks - A German joke from 1944 How do you tell an Optimist German from a Pessimist German? The Optimist studies English, while the Pessimist studies Russian.
- Deep. Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.
Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees light from incoming train.
Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track. - An optimist says, the glass is half full. A pessimist says, the glass is half empty. An optometrist says, you both need glasses.
- Wife: Would you care to explain why the bottle of whisky you bought yesterday is half empty? Me : It's because you're a pessimist.
- Pessimist: The glass is half empty... Optimist: The glass is half full
Journalist: You won't BELIEVE what's in this glass! - The Pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The Optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
The Realist sees the approaching freight train.
The Train Driver sees 3 idiots about to get run over... - Optimist: "This glass is half-full." Pessimist: "This glass is half-empty." EA Employee: "Download the next half for $9.99!"
- pessimist vs optimist (x-post from funny) The pessimist says, 'It can't get any worse!' And the optimist replies, 'Oh yes it can!
- A pessimist thinks the glass is half empty, an optimist thinks it is half full... An engineer thinks the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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Pessimistic One Liners
Which pessimistic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pessimistic? I can suggest the ones about optimist pessimist and hopeless.
- Did you hear about the pessimist who hates sausage? They say he fears the wurst
- Thanos seems a lot like a pessimist to me Y'know, the 'universe half empty' kind of guy
- I like being a pessimist I'm either right, or pleasantly surprised.
- Pessimist: Oh, this can't get any worse! Optimist: Yes, it can!
- Did you hear about the pessimistic German vegetarian? He feared the wurst
- Pessimist: "My life could not get any worse" Optimist: "Oh sure it can"
- Where do pessimistic Jews go to worship? A cynicgogue
- I borrowed money from a pessimist because he doesn't expect me to pay him back
- What do you call a pessimistic horse? A neighsayer
- There's really no sense in being pessimistic... It's not going to work, anyway.
- I was born pessimist My Blood Group is B negative
- What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty? Pessimist Prime
- Optimist: Glass half full Pessimist : Glass half empty
Engineer: Glass is too tall. - I love being a pessimist. I'm either always right or pleasantly surprised.
- My friends say I'm a pessimist But I think it's far worse than that.

Quirky and Hilarious Pessimistic Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about pessimistic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean skeptical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pessimistic pranks.
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel...
The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel
... and the engineer can see three idiots standing on the rails.
A pessimist, an optimist, and a realist look down a train tunnel
The pessimist sees a long dark tunnel
The optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees that the light is an oncoming train
The train conductor sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
The pessimist only sees darkness into the tunnel...
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees a light approaching into the tunnel
The train driver sees 3 arseholes walking over the railway
Optimist: "This glass is half full"
Pessimist: "This glass is half empty"
Feminist: "This glass is r**... me"
An optimist sees the light in the tunnel
An optimist sees the light in the tunnel.
A pessimist sees the darkness in the tunnel.
A realist sees the train in the tunnel and the conductor sees 3 idiots on the rails.
A pessimist sees only the tunnel. An optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. A realist thinks the light is probably inside the tunnel.
A train driver sees three idiots standing in the middle of the track
What's the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?
A pessimist says "things can't get any worse"
And optimist says "sure they can!"
What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?
They both fear the wurst
Imagine telling someone you're bisexual.
Pessimist: That doubles the number of people who are going to reject you.
Optimist: That doubles the number of people you can date.
Realist: 2 times 0 is still 0.
How do you tell an optimistic tree from a pessimistic tree?
If it's negative, its roots are imaginary.
