Persuade Jokes

A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds

A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious t**... in town to "persuade" them to close. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Persuading girl into having s**... with you is like spreading the butter on a toast.

It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife.

Trophy Girlfriend

Bill, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25-year-old blonde on his arm. She's hanging on his every word. His buddies at the club are aghast.
They corner him and ask, "Bill how did you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bill replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!" They're stunned, but continue to inquire about Bill's companion. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?" Bill says, "I lied about my age." His friends respond, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bill smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

A 70 year old shows up at the country club with his new wife, a gorgeous 25 year old v**...

His buddies are in awe and terribly jealous. "But you're so much older! How did you ever persuade her to marry you?"
"It was easy... I told her I was 90."

How do you persuade elephants to go swimming?

Remind them that they already have their trunks on.

Ukrainian mother persuades her son to marry

M: Look at Marina. She is beautiful, intelligent, loves movies and theater.
S: I do not want her.
M: Look at Olena. She cooks well, her house is always orderly.
S: I do not want her.
M: So who do you want?
S: Mom, I love my neighbor Sergei.
(pause)
M: But he's Russian, after all.

Several months

It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have s**... with her that way.
"And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home.
"Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog."

My gf was trying to persuade me on what new phone to buy..

She said "It's either my way or Huawei"

Johnny said he doesn't want to go to school anymore.

His mother tried to persuade him to go to school.
"I don't want to," said Johnny, "every kids in school hates me."
"Honey, you have to go," said his mother, "you're the principal."

An anteater named Jack was persuading a frog named Webby to eat the ants from the anthill.