persons Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious persons puns

My 5 y/o cousins joke :)

Him:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Him: It's the chicken!

I fell right into the little tackers trap!

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I have a 50% chance to get laid tonight.

I mean, if 1 out of 2 persons wants it, that's 50%, right?

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A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician...

...is sitting at a café watching the building across the road. They see one person entering the main door, and soon after, two persons leaving the building.

"Ah! They must have reproduced in there!" says the biologist.

"Nah, there must have been some error in our first measurement" says the physicist.

"If one person enters now", says the mathematician, "the building will be empty!".

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Q: How many members of a specified demographic does it take to complete a particular task?

A finite quantity. One to complete the specific task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of persons from said demographic.

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Policeman stops priest on the bike...

Policeman: Hello father. Your light isn't working. That will be 20$.
Priest: Don't worry mister, i'm not in danger. Jesus is always with me.
Policeman: Sorry father. Then the fine is 40$ because two persons are not allowed to ride a bike.

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What's an epileptic persons favorite pizza place?

Little Ceizures.

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What's an epileptic persons favorite appetizer?

Seizure Salad.

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What is a lazy persons favourite exercise routine?

Diddly squat.

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What do you call a group of obese gender reassigned persons?

Trans fats.

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So a Biologist, Physicist, and Mathematician are asked to observe a phenomena.

A Biologist, Physicist, and Mathematician are asked to observe a phenomena. The sit down in front of a door, they inspect the room on the other side and conclude that there is no exit other than the entrance. They then watch as one person enters the room, and then later, two persons exit.

The Biologist, puzzled at first, concludes that the only rational conclusion is the person reproduced.

The Physicist, first assuming there was no error in observation, states that there must be some new physics inside the room.

The Mathematician in deep thought says, "I don't know, but if we have another person enter the room, it should be empty!"

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How do you call doctors that change a persons gender

Trans formers

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What's a gothic persons blood made of?

Emoglobin

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Outback church healing..

Small church in the outback and the congregation are getting excited and filled with healing power. The priest asks the congregation for anyone with an illness to come forward. He holds his hands on the persons head and says, 'Pray with me people, let the healing power of the Lord prevail!'
The congregation chant and pray feverishly and the person walks away full of Jesus.
Then it's little Johnie's turn, a local aboriginal boy.
'Tell me Johnie', says the priest 'what is problem?' Johnie says, 'it's my hearing mister'. So the priest places both hands over Johnie's ears and the whole congregation chant and pray. After a few moments the priest releases his hands and says loudly, 'So Johnie, have we fixed your hearing?' Johnie says, 'How the fuck would I know, it's not till next week'.

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How many radical, trans, love-fluid, non-binary persons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2 - one to do it and the other to comment on how it's symbolic of rape.

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reflection on human being

in the world there are two kinds of persons: those who finish what they started and those

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There are 10 types of persons in this world...

...those who understand binary and those who don't.

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simply genius

Joe is late for work again and cant find a regular parking space, so he parks on a parking space for disabled persons. His boss, however, is not the forgiving kind and fires him right off the bat for being late. Devastated, Joe walks to the parking lot just to see a meter maid writing him a ticket. As she realizes Joe is heading towards her, and seeing the mixture of sadness and anger on his face, she greets him: "Hello Sir! is this your vehicle? Im sorry, this is a parking space spefically for disabled citizens, and there is no certificate of disability in it. If you do not have a disability, I have to give you this ticket. Do you have a disability?" - "Yes." Joe answers, not sure how to continue. "Which one would that be?" Releasing all his anger, Joe shouts "TOURETTE YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!"

sorry for any errors/typos, im not a native speaker. id be happy if someone took the time correcting them for me! just dont point out the missing "'"s, im just too lazy for them :P

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Yo Mama Jokes

Every "Yo Mama" joke has been used a thousand times by a thousand persons.

Just like Yo Mama.

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Fat persons three favorite countries!??

Turkey, Hungary, & Greece :D

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What is an injured persons favorite movie?

Cast Away

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Did you know it's possible to change a persons blood type?

A negative person just needs to be positive.

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What do you call a poor persons utensils?

Silverworn

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What's an old persons underwear taste like?

Depends

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How many shaves does it take to remove all a persons pubic hair?

A brazillion!

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Whats the most common work of fiction?

The average persons resume

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Two guys were sitting in a bar

One said to another : "I slept with your mom last night".

The whole bar was waiting for other persons response.

Then he says "Let's go home dad. You're drunk".

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You know why doctors often prescribe illutation to older persons ?

So they get a foretaste of the earth.

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My credit card is like a fat persons scale

It's maxed out

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A Following Person

A teacher was sitting at her desk grading papers when her first-grade class came back from lunch. Alice informed the teacher, "Paul has to go to the principal's office."

"I wonder why," the teacher mused.

"Because he's a following person," Alice replied.

"A what?" the teacher asked.

"It came over the loudspeaker: 'The following persons are to go to the office.'"

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What is a blind persons favourite song?

Hello darkness my old friend

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Did you hear about that antisocial persons meeting?

No one showed up.

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What's a gay persons least favorite food?

Cantaloupe.

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who is the most fun on a missing persons case?

the search party animal!

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"Hey look that persons picking up trash"

"Must be a stoner"

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What is a clumsy persons favorite breakfast?

Ope-meal

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What are the most funny Persons jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Persons? Well, here are the best Persons dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Persons pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes