Personality Disorder Jokes
70 personality disorder jokes and hilarious personality disorder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about personality disorder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Personality Disorder Short Jokes
Short personality disorder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The personality disorder humour may include short multiple personality disorder jokes also.
- My doctor says I have narcissistic personality disorder But that's impossible, as the smartest man alive I think I would have noticed.
- I was diagnosed with Narcissictic Personality Disorder... ....or as I call it, Handsome Disease.
- My psychiatrist diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder... And now she's on the news, apparently she was murdered by one of her patients, wonder if I ever saw him
- My brain made a vote today Seven against five decided that we did not have dissociative personality disorder.
- My friends always tell me I'm a real people person... But my psychiatrist prefers the term 'multiple personality disorder.'
- My roommate is spreading rumour that I have multiple personality disorder. Well, three can play that game!
- My therapist just diagnosed me as a people's person… ..but he insists it's called multiple personality disorder.
- Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend? Because Sharon is Karen.
- My therapist told me I have narcissistic personality disorder... I think he's just jealous of me
- My doctor says I have antisocial personality disorder. At least, I think that's what he said. It was a bit hard to hear him through the duct tape.
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Personality Disorder One Liners
Which personality disorder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with personality disorder? I can suggest the ones about personality and personality types.
- Hi I'm Bob I'll be frank with you,
I have multiple personality disorder - Just found out I have multiple personality disorder I gotta tell the other guys
- I had split personality disorder... Now we are cured.
- What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ? Unstable.
- My doctor recently diagnosed me with a personality disorder No he didn't.
- What do you call a monster with multiple personality disorder? A we're wolf.
- I do not have dissociative personality disorder I don't.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a personality disorder... And so do I...
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder is good... But only because I have it.
- Why does a Mexican take Xanax? For his Borderline Personality Disorder.
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Ha. Surely I'm not as awful as that!
- I don't have any mental disorders. My other personalities aren't so lucky.
- Shout out to all my people with split personality disorder You know who you are
- What vegetable has Avoidant Personality Disorder? *Lettuce alone!*
- Why did the Mexican go to the shrink? Because he had Borderline Personality Disorder.
Multiple Personality Disorder Jokes
Here is a list of funny multiple personality disorder jokes and even better multiple personality disorder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My analyst told me that I've got multiple personality disorder. I replied "Don't be ridiculous. I haven't got multiple personality disorder - and neither have I."
- I have been diagnosed with DID or Multiple Personality Disorder. Apparently there are multiple personalities inside of me fighting their way out.
I would take them all over my ex-wife's one! - Coping with multiple personality disorder is easy. But, I've always been more of a people person.
- I felt like I was just a statistic, so I went to see a psychologist... She diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder.
Now I feel like a distribution. - I wasn't sure about it... so I asked my other personalities if I had multiple personality disorder...
They said I didn't. - Another therapist joke Therapist : I think you have multiple personality disorder
Me : Oh my god you think I have a personality.
Also me : Tell me something I dont know - What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder? b**... your best friend's wife every night!
Borderline Personality Disorder Jokes
Here is a list of funny borderline personality disorder jokes and even better borderline personality disorder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call someone on the borderline of being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder? An asylum seeker.
- Did you hear about a mentally ill Mexican? He has Borderline Personality Disorder
Comedy Personality Disorder Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about personality disorder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mental disorder jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make personality disorder pranks.
OCD
A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
A doctor diagnosed me with...
... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.
... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!
... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.
... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams.
... Dementia.
But I maintain full cognitive... Um. What was the question?
A man walks up to another man...
...and in perfect unison they say to each other, How am I supposed to know if I suffer from narcissistic personality disorder? Taken aback they stare at each other for a few more moments. After a few seconds the owner walks over and says, Sir this is a mirror store. To which the man replied, SHUT UP! Can't you see I'm flirting?
What do you call a person with Schizophrenia, kleptomania, bi-polar disorder and anorexia?
Mixed Nuts
If a person with split personality disorder falls in love with someone
Do they refer to them as their better third?
A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder...
Trump said "It's not just cute, it's **the cutest** narcissistic personality disorder in the world. Believe me."
The husband had a really bad condition of multiple personality disorder...
"Doctor, for the last eight months, my husband has thought that he's a lawnmower."
"That's terrible. Why didn't you bring him in sooner?"
"Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."
When is it okay to send a disabled person to a concentration camp?
When their disability is attention deficit disorder.
What do you call a person who isn't 100% sure they have a neurological disorder?
A skep-ileptic
I have a serious problem
I have two personalities. In one of them I feel and seem normal, everything is normal.
In my other personality though, I like to spit everywhere. Even on other people.
Spit personality disorder
I went to a psychologist and he said that I'm a narcissist.
That's b**.... A perfect guy like me can't possibly have a personality disorder.
Two patients were sitting in a mental hospital cafetaria
Suddenly on the table over, a man, sitting all alone, started laughing hysterically.
First patient asked, "What do you make of that?"
"What, Jimmy two-face over there? That guy has split personality disorder", said the second patient.
"So what?" said the first patient.
"So, one of them must have told a great joke."
I tried to start a therapy group for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder
They've assured me it's me who needs the group and I'm getting enrolled next week. I'm so grateful for their help
Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health
If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.