Personal Responsibility Jokes
24 personal responsibility jokes and hilarious personal responsibility puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about personal responsibility that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Personal Responsibility Short Jokes
Short personal responsibility jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The personal responsibility humour may include short responsibility jokes also.
- My great-grandad was personally responsible for bringing down over 30 German aircraft in WW2. All the other mechanics in the Luftwaffe never really liked him though.
- People ask me "Why are you single? You're attractive, intelligent, and have an amazing personality". My response: "I'm overqualified".
- Two guys were sitting in a bar One said to another : "I slept with your mom last night".
The whole bar was waiting for other persons response.
Then he says "Let's go home dad. You're drunk". - I'm a very responsible person When something bad happens, everyone says I'm responsible for it
- In Italy, to say that a person is no more a child and should be a responsible person, we say that he is "adulto e vaccinato" that translated means "adult and vaccinated" I think it's a redundancy
- People can change Even h**... went from being an anti-semite to finally killing the person responsible for death of million jews.
- In response to the "How do you starve a black person" joke. I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free, you racist s**...!
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Personal Responsibility One Liners
Which personal responsibility one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with personal responsibility? I can suggest the ones about responsible and self help.
- The only person responsible for dandruff prevention is you. It falls on your shoulders.
Personal Responsibility Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about personal responsibility you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean personal injury jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make personal responsibility pranks.
My Spanish-speaking students got a kick out of this one.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks 3 languages?
A: (Try to elicit responses..) Tri-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks two languages?
A: (Many of them know this one) Bi-Lingual.
Q: What do you call a person who speaks one language?
A: An American!
OCD
A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.
THE crowded restaurant had a sign reading
Not Responsible for Personal Items , so Larry kept checking on his belongings.
Finally his friend said, Larry, you're driving me nuts. Stop watching our coats.
I'm only watching mine, Larry said. Yours was stolen half an hour ago.
Man like Mum !!
A child asked his father: "What is a man?"
The father replies, "A person who takes responsibility for his family and his house and takes care of them."
Then the child said, "I hope I will be a man like Mum one day" !!!
Some dude went to a Halloween party dressed as Santa.
He was approached by someone who said "Really? You dressed as Santa?"
The man replied "Almost. You see, I went commando."
The person was surprised at the response. So he asked "why does that change anything?"
The man smiled, and slyly replied "Today, I am dressed as Saint Knicker-less"
A man boarded a plane in New Orleans with a box of c**......
A female crew member took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did.
The man firmly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the c**... staying frozen, and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let the c**... thaw out.
Shortly before landing in New York , she announced over the intercom to the entire cabin, 'Would the gentleman who gave me c**... in New Orleans , please raise your hand?'
Not one hand went up... so she took them home and ate them herself.
A koala wakes up next to a p**......
Without a sound he gets up, makes his way to the door and begins to open it when the p**... wakes up and sees him.
"Hey, where do you think youre going?" the p**... asks? She pulls out a dictionary and shows him the definition of p**.... It says, "a person, in particular a woman, who engages in s**... activity for payment."
He says in response, "Look up the definition of koala."
She finds it and begins to read. "a bearlike arboreal Australian marsupial that has thick gray fur and eats shoots and leaves."
A lawyer boarded an airplane
in Baltimore with a box of frozen soft shell c**... and asked a stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator..
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in Sarasota Florida, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the c**... in Baltimore , please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up .... so she took them home and ate them.
Vladimir Putin was practicing a eulogy speech for an assassinated Russian politician in front of a mirror...
(ahem) "He was a dear patriot and credit to the Motherland, whom I personally adored as a friend and colleague. I vow, as leader of Russia, to find the culprits responsible for this vicious m**......"
Putin then stopped and turned to his aide. "Are you sure this strikes the right tone, Yuri? I mean, in terms of timing? I've been a bit preoccupied, so remind me, when was he killed?"
After a few moments consulting his ipad, the aide replies, "Next week, sir."
In a helicopter somewhere over Seattle
There was a helicopter pilot lost over Seattle on a particularly cloudy day. He finally comes up next to an office building and holds up a sign to person in the window. The sign read "WHERE AM I?" The person in window responded with their own sign, which read "IN A HELICOPTER".
The pilot immediately nodded, and flew straight back to airport.
Once on the ground the pilot was asked how he knew where he was. His response was, "I knew I was at the Microsoft headquarters when I received an equally accurate and useless answer".
The most famous person of all times
Who is the most famous person of all times. That was a subject of a contest among Catholic School's 5th graders with $100 prize. The teacher asked Jon first. He said it was Bill Clinton. The next one was Kevin who said it was Gorge Washington. After collecting responses from almost all participants the teacher with not much hope asked the last girl, Sarah, who happen to be Jewish. Sara raised and said. I think it was Jesus. The teacher was jubilant and pronounced Sarah as the winner of $100. After school the teacher approached Sarah and asked her. How come you as a Jew chose Jesus instead of Moses? To that Sarah replied. Sure, Moses is my hero, but business is business.
A blonde, brunette, and a red head...
So a blonde, brunette,and a red head are each forced to kill their husbands and dispose of the corpse. They all kill their victim and have the responsibility of disposing of the body so they all throw the body in the trunks of their cars. Now, they each have to drive to the location where they can safely dispose of the body. The red head gets in her car and decides she'll drive in the left lane since that's the fast lane, so she can go fast, get to the location quickly, and dispose of the body. A cop pulls her over for going too fast, she gets a ticket but gets back on her way to get rid of the body, no problem. Brunette gets into her car decides she'll drive in the right lane since that's the lane with slower traffic, to not look suspicious. Cop pulls her over for driving too slow and impeding traffic, gives her a ticket but she continues on her way, no problem. Blonde gets into her car decides to drive in the HOV lane since she never sees anyone there it'll be a smooth ride to the location. Cop pulls her over for driving in the HOV lane with only person. Cop writes her a ticket for that, blonde reads the ticket and says "No, officer, I'm not the only person in the car I have my husband in the trunk.
Made it up myself not the best but I think it is OC
Village Idiot
One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull's-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center. The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship. The man turned out to be the village idiot. "This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen," said the FBI man. "How in the world do you do it?" "Nothing to it," said the idiot. "I shoot first and draw the circles afterward."
George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his family, including his mother-in-law.
During their vacation in Jerusalem, George’s mother-in-law died.
With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial.
The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial is very, very expensive.
It could cost him as much as $5,000.00.
The Consul told him, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here in Jerusalem.
This would only cost him $150.00.
George thinks for some time and answers,
"I don’t care how much it will cost to send the body back, that’s what I want to do."
The Consul says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price."
"No, it’s not that," says George.
"You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a man that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead! I just can’t take that chance!"
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen c**.
.. and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the c**... in New Orleans, please raise your hand."
Not one hand went up...so she took them home and ate them.