Persona Jokes

Is it just me

or are there other personal pronouns?

Que dijo la persona que estaba callendo de un edificio muy muy alto en diciembre?

Feliz gravidad!
(Translation: What did the person falling from the very very tall building in december say?
Happy Gravity!)

What is the one personal hygiene thing ghosts have to deal with?

Booooogers

I have two personal trainers...

One on each foot!

Personal reflection is important for anyone working in the mirror industry.

What TV personality lives in your phone?

SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)

The "Personal life" section of my Wikipedia article is actually pretty accurate.

It's non-existent.

What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone?

Are you vegan?

I personally think that Halloween should be moved

To November 8 (it'll be more scary)

The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well.

I've resisted going to the gym for six days now.

Personal space is a concept I did not understand in Kindergarten

I guess that's why they fired me.

My new personal trainer encouraged me to do do fifteen push-ups every commercial break on TV

Man... I love Netflix!

My personal trainer is ill today.

No sweat.

I need two personal drivers because of my elephantitis.

I can't fit into a single car because of my testicular elephantitis.
The other driver is a great bloke but the other one drives me nuts.

Personally, I think one of the greatest things..

Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that, as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house.
Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

My personal trainer was giving me advice.

He said, "You have to have a life outside the gym."
I was so offended that I walked out with my sleeping bag.

My personal trainer told me to drink a protein shake everyday at 3 in the morning.

But that's whey past my bedtime.

I personally identify as one cycle per second.

Because everything hertz.

Personally I think removal of net neutrality will be great. It will offer our businesses new opportunities for development which will help the economy in the long run

I personally agree with the repeal of Net Neutrality.

Signed,
George Washington

Personally, i think that Tide pods are even better than advertised.

I mean, anything that can clean your clothes and the gene pool in the same product...

My personal trainer gave me a diet plan and it was really useful.

Now I know that my paper shredder works.

I just got a new personal best in the 100 metre sprint!

73 metres.

My personal trainer said I should reduce my fats.

I already do, though. By eating them.

Personally, I don't like bananas.

But I can understand the, uh, peel.

Personally, I think I'd be the most excellent criminal in the world.

Because I wouldn't show up on any wanted lists.
^^:(

Why do people's personalities change so much after marriage?

Because out comes their altar ego.

They say you need your personal brand in order to show your uniqueness..

..are there any customizable branding irons on Amazon?

- Do you do anything personally so that hunger and wars will become fewer in the world?

\- Yes, of course! I don't hunger and I don't war.

My personal trainer said, "When it comes to the gym, there's no shortcuts!"

I said, "Well, I took a side road earlier and got here in less time."

My personal trainer in Moscow surprised me by making me do a weird turning movement while holding a medicine ball.

I guess you can say it was a Russian Twist.

How do you personally insult two similarly pronounced mathematical terms?

Ad hominem

The personal assistant enters Stalin's office to announce to him: "Comrade Stalin, a clairvoyant is waiting outside demanding an audience with you. He says that he is able to foresee the future."

Stalin, still bent over the table, calmly replies: "He shall be executed. If he really foresaw the future, he would never want to meet me."

My personal trainer said she wanted me to do a push workout.

I've since been arrested for trying to pull her jogging bottoms down.

How did the personal trainer pick up girls?

With his knees, not his back.

A man is at a police station to file a case.

The cop asked, "¿Mataste al persona?"
To the man replied, "I don't speak Spanish, can you repeat it in English please?"
Cop: "¿Estabas allí cuando ocurrió el asesinato?"
Man: "I don't speak Spanish Sir, I can't understand what you're saying at all."
Cop: "¿Conocías al víctima?"
Man: "ENOUGH! I'm here to file a case and I DID NOT EXPECT A SPANISH INQUISITON AT ALL!"

I used to be a personal driver in France

But now I have nothing to chauffeur it...

Personally, I don't get why people complain about American Healthcare

It ranked 3rd in North America

Personally I think you should start the day off with a meal of French mushrooms

...Breakfast of champignons

I'm looking for a new personal trainer.

My last one didn't work out.

Personally, I am against political jokes.

They get elected to office too often.

A personal injury lawyer was on vacation in a small rural town. While walking through the streets, he spotted a car that had just been involved in an accident. As expected, a large crowd gathered

Going by instinct, the attorney was eager to get to the injured, but he couldn't get near the car. Being very clever, he started shouting loudly, Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim. The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.